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- Story Listed as: True Life For Adults
- Theme: Drama / Human Interest
- Subject: Life Changing Decisions/Events
- Published: 09/22/2016
MY PROSTATE CANCER STORY BY DOUGLAS CHARLES ARCHER
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.*
I was in a state of shock, I couldn’t believe it was ME?! the physician was talking to. My name is Doug Archer, and I have prostate cancer, and this is my story. As you read my story, you will see some similarities and differences from your experience.
My prostate cancer experience began with a physical exam in August, 2003. My primary physician, Dr Howell, is a wonderful physician and friend that a patient can relate to. He informed me that my prostate was enlarged, and my PSA was 3.5, He suggested that I see a Urologist for an evaluation.
The Urologist, I was sent to is located in Hillcrest area of San Diego. His name was Dr. Elmer, M.D., a member of my HMO group. I made an appointment in mid September for an evaluation. Dr. Elmer did a prostate exam and said my prostate was enlarged and unsymmetrical. He says that he can do a PSA study measuring two subtypes of the PSA. The first one is a measure of the general PSA, the second PSA is indicative of cancer. I said “OK, let’s do it.” He also did a Uro-flow study which measures the flow of urine when urinating. A normal flow rate is >15ml/ sec. The language Dr. Elmer used was very unprofessional. For example: he said my uro-flow study was “lousy”. I expected a higher choice of wording from a physician. I may not be a physician, but I’m not stupid. I think I have a very good vocabulary. I expected, him to say that “your flow rate is below normal.” The results were shown to me in flow rates and in graph form. The picture graph gave me the entire story.
At the conclusion of our consultation, Dr. Elmer advised me to wait for a phone call from him. He would either tell me “everything is “OK” or come in for a prostate ultrasound and biopsy. One week past, then a second week. No phone call from the physician or his nurse. The end of September is approaching.
I was in the Hillcrest area one day to run some other errands. I decided to visit the office. I asked Dr. Elmer’s nurse to check my file. Sure enough, there was a note in my chart to call me for an appointment for prostate ultrasound and biopsy. I never received the phone call. An appointment and instructions were given. I followed them to the letter.
My appointment was set for October 12, 2003 at 10AM. I ate breakfast, then I took a shower with Fleets enema. I took a bus to the office. I gave a urine sample then sent to the room where the Ultrasound machine is located. I was told to take off all my clothes, and put on a patient gown. While waiting for Dr. Elmer my eyes took notice of this Ultrasound machine. It was an interesting looking machine with a complex set of knobs, CRT ray tube, and a keyboard similar to a computer keyboard. The frightening thing was the probe with a condom on it. This probe was quite long and its circumference was a bit intimidating. My anxiety is increasing. Dr. Elmer comes in and says, right off, “your PSA was a bit high, but the PSA, indicative of cancer was within normal limits.” In other words, “it let me off the hook for cancer” Dr. Elmer said, A biopsy is done anyways.
I’m told to lie on my left side, with my knees up to my chest. Without any bedside manner, Dr. Elmer inserts this probe into my rectum with a dangerous force without any empathy for what I was going through. It’s a wonder he remembered the KY! As the probe was moving around, I could feel intense pressure, feeling an intense need to have a bowel movement continued to consume me. Dr. Elmer was not concerned about me. His main concern was to hurry-up and finish, and go to his next patient.
After taking a general picture of the prostate, to examine its size, the biopsy began. It was a twinge sensation that I will never forget. It felt like a jackhammer pounding inside me. I thought it would never end. This continued for five times, each one added from the previous then added to the next. I can’t remember after the fifth. I fainted from the pain. Then I came too. Dr. Elmer walked out and never returned. On this particular day, I remember a man dressed in a suit visiting with Dr. Elmer in his plush office. Remember, I had an HMO.
After coming too, I felt very sleepy, and somewhat confused. I couldn’t remember what happened to me. I was slumped over with poor posture on my back. I was not feeling well. I put my clothes on. I walked out into the waiting room, and just sat there to get my orientation back. I remember walking pass Dr. Elmer ’s office and I saw a man dressed in a business suit talking with him. I went home on the bus. I didn’t feel well. I remember walking through the front door, sitting on the living room couch and falling to sleep with the television on. Difficulty in urinating continued to be a problem from the day of the biopsy through the weekend.
I waited and waited for the results. I never received any from Dr. Elmer. My next appointment with Dr. Howell gave me the results. Dr. Howell placed a phone call to have the results faxed. The result, no cancer, just an enlarged prostate. The treatment of choice was Hytrin, 5mg cap at bedtime. Also, Saw Palmetto and a vitamin/mineral supplement were ordered. Hytrin relaxes the smooth muscles of the prostate and bladder neck so urinating is easier. On that particular weekend, Sunday to be exact, my partner and I went to see a staged play. I remember going to the bathroom three times. Once before the program started, once during intermission, and before going home. I’ve never had that particular experience happen to me.
Then on Wednesday afternoon, it hit! I wasn’t able to urinate. I called my Stephen at work, and he rushed home. After Stephen came home, I decided to call Dr. Elmer ’s office, I said “I can’t urinate” the nurse said, “we’re busy, call 911”. I called 911 and spoke to a woman who was very understanding, cause I was a bit embarrassed. I was told they would be here in a couple of minutes; do not drink any fluids. I followed her orders. I should not have had to call the paramedics.
The paramedics came, and three men talked to me. I said “I can’t urinate.”, and “I want to be taken to Mercy Hospital.” They called the emergency room at Mercy and got the OK to take me there. They wheeled me to the ambulance, and took my vitals. The ride continued uneventful.
The ride to the hospital seemed to last forever. I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t think, much less, write or respond to questions. My partner Stephen, was there to help me with questions and other matters. I was wheeled into a triage room where I was able to see the emergency room physician.
Catheterization was ordered immediately. The catheter inserted by a male nurse with my partner at my side. It was a big relief. Believe me. I was sent home with a catheter with a 500cc bag and I was given 500mg tabs of Ciprofloxin, antibiotic used for urinary tract infections. I was surprised that I was not admitted to the hospital with a urinary catheter inserted. I asked the nurse why I would not be admitted, her response was “you have to be at deaths door before you are admitted to the hospital”.
I was sent home with a catheter and bag. The bag was the size of a pint which equals approximately 500cc. My partner and I went home on the bus. I went straight to bed, I wasn’t feeling well. I took a dose of ciprofloxin and had a bowl of chicken soup, and then fell to sleep. The catheter was in for two weeks. I saw Dr. Howell for one appointment and said that everything looked good and that the bacterial count was down. He told me I needed to see Dr. Elmer to have the catheter removed.
I made an appointment with Dr. Elmer in a week to have the catheter removed. My partner Stephen came with me. When Dr. Elmer walked in, I told him what happened, his response was unbelievable “I’m just now finding out about this”. I told him that I attempted to call when I wasn’t able to urinate, but the nurse said you were busy. She told me to call 911; I did.
I had been warned about the removal of urinary catheters, and how painful it can be. So, the afternoon the catheter was to be removed, I had a weird feeling. Dr. Elmer got a since of my apprehension and decided to capitalize on my feelings of anxiety. I couldn’t believe it, Dr. Elmer said, “you’re not going to have a baby”. Stephen and I were shocked. I didn’t want to have anything to do with Dr. Elmer ever again.
I continued to see my primary physician. Dr. Howell, and he continued to monitor my situation, and my general health. I continued taking Saw Palmetto, vitamin and mineral supplements, Hytrin, 5mg, and eating a healthy diet. My urinary flow rates vary from normal to slow dribble. From November 2003 to September 2004 life uneventful. Stephen and I took a vacation to Chicago and had a wonderful time.
After we returned from Chicago, I had an appointment for a physical exam with Dr. Howell. My blood work was normal, except for my PSA, which had gone up since last year at this time. This time my situation was better, Stephen and I were members of a PPO health insurance plan. This means that the physician and hospital are paid more for the services they provide. At this particular time, Dr. Howell was able to send me to a urologist, he knew, or I could select my own I let Dr. Howell select the urologist.
The urologists name was Dr. Bibb, a young man in his early 40’s. His curriculum vitae is prolific. He has a degree in computer engineering from Harvard, a medical degree from McGill University; his Internship in surgery and urology from UCSD. A very erudite man. Need I say more?
I made an appointment to see him on September 30. I was very impressed with him, and his office staff. He did a medical history followed with a physical and prostate exam. He suggested an ultrasound and biopsy. Immediately, I had anxiety about the procedure. Dr. Bibb was empathic of my feelings and explained that he would take precautions. I said “OK, let’s do it.”
The prostate ultrasound was scheduled for the morning of October 12, 2004. I got up made breakfast and lunch for Steve and sent him off to work. I ate breakfast, took a shower and did the fleets enema. I left for my scheduled appointment at 7:15am. I got there at 9:45AM, and signed in with a $10.00 co-pay. My name was called to go back to the room where the procedure will be performed. I was told to remove all clothing, except for my shirt. I sat on the exam table reading a magazine when Dr. Bibb comes in and says to me with a smile, “are you ready for me”? I said “yes”. He told me to lye on my left side with both legs flexed to my chest. Dr. Bibb gingerly inserted a probe with a condom and KY into the rectum, and started taking pictures of the prostate, and checking for general size. Next, Dr. Bibb inserted a syringe with general typical anesthesia. The experience of topical anesthesia being administrated gave me a feeling of stinging from the rectum to the tip of my penis. When I compare this experience with the experience I had a year ago with Dr. Elmer. The anesthesia made the difference during the biopsy, the twinge felt was just a simple twinge, I couldn’t believe the difference. With the pain medication and the valium given to me, the test was uneventful. I had complete confidence in Dr. Bibb at that point.
After the test was completed, I was told to rest on the table for as long as necessary. I was completely relaxed without any concerns what so ever. After 30minutes of resting, I got dressed and made an appointment for October 25th for the results. You will discover that October 25th takes on significance because Stephen my domestic partner birthday is on October 26th. I need to add, Stephen’s 40th birthday!!!
From Oct 12th to Oct. 25th, life continues from day to day without any complications. Stephen continues to work and enjoys his work very much. I continue to take care of the house and enjoy my retirement. The Holidays are coming soon. On Sunday, Stephen and I decided to go to Sea Port Village, a San Diego resort area. We do some shopping and we eat lunch. In the afternoon, we take a tour of the San Diego Naval Ship, The USS Midway. What a wonderful experience, visiting a Naval Ship for the first time in my life.
After a day of Sunday fun, we decided to go home. Stephen has to be at work on Monday morning by 7AM. I have an appointment with Dr. Bibb at 4PM for the results of my prostate ultrasound and biopsy. On this particular day, I don’t remember much. All I remember is fixing breakfast for Stephen and sending him off to work. I spent the day just hanging around the apartment, since I don’t have a car, I had to take the 12:30pm bus to the office so I would make my appointment at 4pm. Since I got there an hour and a half early, I went to the cafeteria to get something to eat. After snacking it was 3:30pm, so I left and got to the office at 3:45pm. and signed in to let the staff know I was there.
I remember, Dr. Bibb wanted me to take a second uro-flow study. The directions, empty bladder 1-½ hours prior to your appointment. Drink 4-6 eight ounces of water before the test. I remember urinating into a funnel shaped receptacle measuring urine flow rate (UFR) a second. After completing the test, I left the office and returned for my appointment. Just before I had my appointment with Dr. Bibb, the nurse asked me to void into the toilet to give me a lower residual bladder volume. The nurse used an ultrasound probe measuring urine residual. I never found out what this value was.
4:00pm hits, and in comes Dr. Bibb. I’m not sure on what to think. At the same time, Stephen calls me on the cell phone wanting to know what the results were. I was confused, I didn’t know who I should talk to first. I got my wits about me and told Stephen that Dr. Bibb just walked in--I will call you back. I said to myself, “I hope I wasn’t rude to him” Stephen, my lover, my sweetheart. I love him very much. -5
Dr. Bibb and I are talking, physician to patient. First question, “how are you feeling”? I said, “feeling ok“, I’m still experiencing bleeding when I ejaculate, it’s still bloody brown in color“. Dr. Bibb says this will continue for another three to six weeks. Without any warning, Dr. Bibb says, “we found cancer”. I said ‘ NO!”. I asked the doctor how can this be? I’m only 56 years old. Dr. Bibb said, ‘I’m sorry, but it’s true”. I couldn’t believe it either. But, he says, it’s not a death sentence. I was in a state of shock. Me with cancer at the age of 56. I’m too young. Prostate cancer is a cancer of your seventy’s, eighties, and nineties My dad is 90 years old and never had prostate cancer or any kind of cancer, so how did I get to be the lucky one?
I immediately called Stephen on his cell phone and said, “I’ve been diagnosed with prostate cancer”. I felt sad because on this day of October 25th, was the day before Stephen’s 40th birthday.
When I told Stephen I was diagnosed with prostate cancer, He was unbelievably positive. I suddenly realized I had been crying for no reason at all. I suggested that Dr. Bibb and Stephen talk on the phone. They had a short conversation. It was suggested that a bone scan be done to ascertain any spread of cancer to the bone.
I left the office around 5pm and took the bus home. Stephen and I continue to talk by cellphone. I arrived home by 6:15pm. Stephen was at the grocery store returning home. We were home together by 6:45pm, and we gave each other a big hug. Stephen would not allow any negativity from me. We talk, and we talk. Stephen says he had a positive conversation with Dr. Bibb. It is believed that we got this cancer at its early stages. We continued to talk and eat dinner.
Stephen tells me he will be with me all the way. He says that he will tell all necessary people at work; that he will need time off from work. I say fine, do what you have to do. I love you very, very much.
It’s October 26, 2004, Tuesday morning, Happy birthday Stephen, it’s your 40th. I’m thrilled to be a part of your big day. It’s 5:30am, I get up, fix breakfast, coffee, and sent him off to work. I stay home taking care of the house and other oddities. I spend the day trying to comprehend all that is happening to me. I continue to read as much information that I can find. It then hits me that this is Stephen’s 40th birthday; I’m not going to let my news of prostate cancer interfere with my celebration I have planned for Stephen, my wonderful sweetheart. A couple of months
ago, Stephen informed me that he wanted me to take him to Mr. A’s for his 40th birthday dinner. I was thrilled to do that. Reservations were made about two months ago. I spent the day relaxing and exercising, just letting go of everything. Stephen did the same throughout his day. By the evening, we were both ready for a night out at Mr. A’s. -6
Stephen came home from work. I took a shower and got into my evening best. We took a bus up to Hillcrest to run some errands. We even did some Christmas shopping. It’s getting close to 6:30pm, reservations time. We arrive at 6:15pm with the sunset just starting; and the San Diego sky line was just lighting up. What a sight to behold. We were taken to our table. Drinks were served, Stephen had coffee, and I had a glass of wine. I was completely relaxed; I was feeling no pain. The thought of prostate cancer never entered my mind. Stephen was with me and we enjoyed our evening to the 1st degree.What a night it was!!
Coming back to reality, I made an appointment to meet with Dr. Bibb’s nurse the next day to discuss all preparations. For example, if I say be at the hospital by 8:00am, but the nursing staff say 7:30am, then 7:30 am is the time. I followed a diet, day before the surgery; then use a Fleets enema oral solution Dr. Bibb suggested that I set aside two pints of my own blood. I ran into burocratic red tape. I called San Diego Blood Bank. They informed me they have a contract with Medicare. They have no private plans listed with any private health insurance company. Therefore, I will need to pay approximately $500.00 for two pints of blood. This comes out of my pocket. What is health insurance for? I contacted Dr. Bibb and decided to have my blood typed and cross matched by the Grossmont Hospital lab.
Stephen and I met with Dr. Bibb to discuss the results of all tests, and it was decided to have the surgery on December 15th so that I could still enjoy the Christmas Holidays, including December Nights in Balboa Park , and Stephen’s Christmas party at work. I would not want to miss that!! At this time, Stephen and I with Dr. Bibb decided to have the surgery done at Sharps Grossmont Hospital. I could have selected Alvarado Hospital, but I was not sure of the facilities. Surgery date of December 15, 2004, at 10am.
Perhaps, I’m getting a head of myself, prostate cancer is diagnosed on October 25th. This gives me a month-a-half to contemplate about the surgery and any long-term results. During this period, Stephen and I are planning for Thanksgiving and Christmas, plus prostate cancer surgery. During this period, Stephen is working hard at Legal Reprographics, a legal copying firm for attorneys and the court system. I continue to work at home cleaning house and doing various oddities.
Reservations with Grossmont Hospital for Dr. Bibb are made for December 15, 2004. The nurse requests that I make an appointment to see her for any additional questions and appointments to be made, and a pre-op visit appointment will be made for you with the Surgical Pre-Op team where any pre-op forms will be signed and blood work, EKG, and chest-X-Rays. This date for pre-op was December 9th. -7 On a lighter note, December Nights in Balboa Park was a very enjoyable event. Stephen and I attended Friday night. We had lot’s of good food. We had Swedish Meatballs, beef stew, stuffed cabbage and Polish sausages. We then attended to a live Christmas Tree celebration given by the Del Cero Baptist Church. This is always an event that Stephen and I will always attend. At 9:30pm, Stephen and I decide to go home after a fun evening. It was beginning to get cold, and we were getting that Christmas feeling!
We woke up Saturday morning and did a few odds and ends around our apartment. Stephen and I decided to go for breakfast at the Hob knob Hill Restaurant. We walked home and got our caring bags to collect any items we might purchase, then we left for Balboa Park for the second day of the celebration. We walked from one end of the park sampling food from various restaurants and we purchased a candle and some other gifts. We were going to attend the Live Christmas Tree Concert again, but it began to rain--it was canceled. Stephen and I went home.
From Sunday on, the week continues uneventful. Stephen goes to work and I stay home taking care of the apartment and contemplating about my surgery date. At this time, I contact the American Cancer Society, located in Austin Texas. The American Cancer Society (ACS) for short, has voluminous information on cancer, and they were able to help me. To my surprise they put me in contact with a national organization for men with prostate cancer. This organization is called Man-2-Man. I received a phone call from Al who lives in San Diego living close to me. He came to visit me on Monday afternoon. We had a informative conversation and he put my mind at ease. He warned me that I will have urinary leaking post-op. He said that I will be “working with” only one sphincter. This will pass with time.
Al even offers to take Stephen and I to the hospital at 6am. What a wonderful man and friend. Otherwise, we would have had to take the trolley or bus to the hospital. The week continues uneventful.
December 11, 2004, the night of Stephen’s Christmas party with Legal Reprographics INC. It was held at the Admiral Kid Club, an exclusive club for the Military Officers and their wives. I never dreamed I would get a chance to dine at the Admiral Kid Club. A special friend from Stephen’s work and his wife picked us up because we don’t have the necessary car stickers. 5:30pm drinks, cheeses, and fruits were served. Dinner served at 6:30pm. What a dinner it was. The main course included chicken, fish and excellent choice of succulent beef that was very tender December 14th the day before the surgery. I send Stephen off to work with breakfast, lunch, and coffee in hand. On this day I follow a special diet. This diet includes a slice of tender turkey with a thin clear sauce and eight oz of apple juice. Throughout the day, I can have clear fluids like 7-Up, sprite, apple juice and water; Jell-O without any fruit. 7pm comes and it is time to take 4 Tablespoons of Fleets Phosphor-soda to clear the lower colon.
December 15, 2004 finally hits!! I get up first and take my shower and get dressed with sweats, tea shirt and jacket. Stephen gets ready and we are in front of our apartment by 6am to meet our ride with Al to take us to Grossmont Hospital.
We arrive at Sharp Grossmont Hospital at 6:45am; We give each other hugs, and say our goodbyes to Al. Arriving at the front desk we are directed to the Pre-OP Surgical Center located on the “A” Floor. I was told to take off all my clothes and wear a gown. At this time, my vitals
were taken, and a IV started. It’s 7:15am, and it’s much of a waiting game till 10am. I’m on this gurney with a gown in a cold environment, shivering! I ask for blankets, one after another. Blankets are thin not the type of blankets you would use on a cold night. The blankets were stored in a hot oven with steam.
For some reason, my surgery schedule was later than the original 10am. I remember being wheeled into the pre-op area with Stephen by my side. The anesthesiologist and nurse came to talk to me. I remember the nurse came first to explain on what to expect. The anesthesialogist came in next, His first question was “what are we doing to you today?” I answered “I’m having a radical retropubic prostatectomy with bilateral pelvic lymph node dissection”. He was a bit surprised by my answer. He continued to ask questions about any previous problems with anesthesia. I said “no”. Questions and answers continued until the OK from the O.R. to wheel me in.
At this point, Stephen says “he will see me after the surgery”. This was very difficult for me, because I love Stephen very much. Stephen left to meet his mother at Grossmont Center for lunch, and do some Christmas shopping, and I’m off to the O.R. for that mouthful procedure. I remember being wheeled down a hallway with a big window looking out on Freeway 125 going towards Santee to the North, and Chula Vista to the South. Then, I remember turning left going down a couple of rooms to my O.R. suit, and I am scarred to death. If I had the nerve, I would have left. While on the gurney, I’m assisted by the doctor and nurse to the operating table. The anesthesiologist places a mask from the anesthesia machine with oxygen. I remember, the anesthesiologist said that he needed to wash-out any nitrogen from my lungs.
From this point, I don’t remember a thing. I was out like a light. The next thing I remember was being told “that my heart rate went down to 22 beats per minute (BPM)”. I was very concerned about that, because I have never had a situation like this before. At this time I am in the recovery room and it is about 5pm and I remember the O.R. nurse getting Stephen from the waiting room to keep me company and calm.
At 6:45pm, I’m wheeled to the 5th floor which is a post-op cardiac floor where patients are placed on post-op cardiac monitoring, and I’m moved to a private room. I would of liked to have had a room mate, but having a wonderful man in a relationship took care of all my needs. In the meantime, Stephen filled out all the necessary forms at the nurses station. I am disoriented and confused, but knew everything was alright. I had gotten really excellent care here at Grossmont, and the nurses who took care of me were wonderful. Stephen goes back to work the next day, and comes to visit me after he gets off work. He arrives at the hospital and comes to my room, and presents me with a hamster beanie baby, it’s cute face was a comfort to me in my post-op state. I also receive some flowers from everyone at Stephen’s work. He also works on Friday before taking three(3) weeks off to take care of me.
I am in the Hospital from December 15th thru December 19th. I am discharged from the hospital on Monday December 20th, I call Stephen at home, and said “that they are releasing me this afternoon” to come home. Around 2:30pm Stephen and his Mom comes to pick me up, and bring me home. At this time Stephen is now off from work and taking care of everything for me while I am recovering from the surgery, and the healing process is day to day. It is now getting close to Christmas and Stephen’s Mom comes over on Christmas Eve and we celebrate by opening presents, and also ate a wonderful dinner Stephen had prepared. I am still not feeling my best but still had a great time. On Saturday Christmas Day Stephen goes to his Parents house to open gifts then he comes and makes me some lunch and dinner. He then goes back to his Parents house for Christmas dinner. On Sunday the 26th Stephen takes me to my Sisters house to celebrate Christmas with them due to her Husband being out of town the day before. I still have the catheter in me but now I am using the small travel bag so I can hide my urine. After the party I call Stephen on his cell to let him know I am ready to come home. We get home and I am not feeling very well, so I go to bed and sleep very soundly.
The week after Christmas I start to feel a little better but always feeling very tired. On December 28th we go to see Dr. Bibby’s nurse so she can take out the staples and replace them with special tape to keep the incision closed. When the nurse pulled out the staples I was surprised that it did not hurt at all. She was very gentle and it felt very weird. After the appointment we came home and Stephen makes me lunch and then I went to bed because I was very tired.
On December 30th I go see my Primary Doctor and he says “that I look kind of pale and my thyroids were slightly enlarged”. So we come home and I rest while Stephen cleans the house, and does some laundry. It is now New Years Eve and I wanted to get out for a few minutes so I can put my inheritance check into the bank, so Stephen takes me over there, and within 5 min. I started to feel lightheaded and fainted at the bank. The Manager of the bank called 911 right away. Good thing Stephen was there to catch me so I wouldn’t have hurt myself when I fell. I talked to the person on the phone from the emergency and said that I was alright. After leaving the bank Stephen is bringing me home, and I start having trouble breathing again. He nudges me and I look at him like why did you do that. He just wanted to make sure that I was okay. Half way home Stephen said that I started to vomit and wheezing rapidly for air. As soon as we reach the front porch I faint again but this time I am out and not breathing for 3 min. Stephen is able to get me breathing again and takes me into the house and calls 911 again and they sent an ambulance right away. As soon as the paramedics arrive they knew I was having problems breathing so they take me to the ambulance and administer oxygen right away. They take my vitals and calls Mercy Hospital to see if they have room in there E.R. At this time Stephen is outside waiting word of where they are taking me. After calling 911 he calls Dr Bibb’s office to inform them of my problem. The on call Dr, calls back right away. After that he calls our regular Dr. to let him know as well. Then Stephen calls his Mom for some support. After 10 min. the Paramedic goes out and tell Stephen that they are taking me to Mercy our primary Hospital. While they are hooking me up to oxygen and an I.V. and taking tests, Stephen is in the lobby taking care of all the paper work. After 10min. They call him back to see me and we wait for all the results and the Doctors to come and see us.
After I was wheeled into the emergency room, I was placed on oxygen. EKG taken and blood test. Physicians were concerned when looking at my symptoms. A CT Scan was taken because of a possible diagnosis of pulmonary embolus. This test was negative, thank GOD for that. While lying and waiting on the ER gurney, a female physiciancomes to me and says, “I have some good news and some bad news.” The good news, you don’t have a pulmonary embolus, but we found bilateral pneumonia. We are going to admit you for IV antibiotics and therapy. Bilateral. Pneumonia is serious.
This was quite a shock to me. I’ve never had anything like this happen to me. I was then told that it was due to smoking exposure on Christmas Day. So, I was admitted to Mercy Hospital on New Years Eve night around 7:30pm on the 5th floor. Stephen stayed with me till about 8:30pm. He then went home so that he could get something to eat. I can’t believe it, Stephen went to Jack In The Box for a hamburger at closing time. He explained his situation concerning my admission to Mercy Hospital; they served him. I was pleased with the service they gave my Stephen, my sweetheart, my honey. Stephen, you more than deserved it.
I was admitted to room, 528 with an older man, probably in his 70’s or 80’s. He was in severe respiratory distress. I could hear each inspiration and expiration. I was unable to sleep for two nights. I was in the same situation. I could hear my self breathing in and out.
After admission, I was put on IV, and oral medications. Also, respiratory therapy was started using a bronchodilator and saline solution. Therapy lasted for ten to fifteen minutes. With time my breathing improved and I was able to cough and deep breathe without any difficulty.
I was at Mercy Hospital for six days. I had to be discharged from Mercy in order to make my appointment with Dr. Bibb to have my catheter removed. The physician from Mercy contacted Dr. Bibb concerning this situation, But Dr. Bibb wanted to be the one to remove the catheter. So I was discharged from Mercy on the evening of January 5, 2005.
Stephen took me to see Dr. Bibb at 9:45am on Thursday, January 6. 2005. Dr. Friedel came in to see me, and he removed the catheter. It was a relief since the insertion of this thing. I had a problem with leaking of urine onto the bed and on my clothes. It was explained to me as follows: your bladder is having spasms, and this is due to the fact of a foreign object being inserted into the bladder. The bladder is saying: “what is this thing doing here”? Dr. Friedel leaves the room, saying everything looks good. Dr. Bidair comes in and reviews my case and says “nothing to worry about;. and that all the cancer was removed with the prostate. ” come back and see me in a month and I will give you some exercises to help your bladder and the urine problem that you are experiencing.
After my appointment, Stephen takes me home to continue with my healing phase. As I have said, Stephen is the quintessential man. I never dreamed that I could have met a man like Stephen. In other words, he is an Angel sent from Heaven in every since of the way.
Through the month of January, Stephen continues to take care of my every need. He is there 100% every time. Even after returning to work on January 10, Stephen still continues to take care of me. He does everything from washing clothes, sheets, and cooking my meals. I can’t pay him enough gratitude.
While Stephen is taking care of me, I’m also under the care of my two physicians, my primary doctor and the urologist. The primary doctor is taking care of all the general medical care, and a blood sample was taken to manage my general health care. The urologist is taking care of the catheter and all post-op problems since the surgery. The catheter has been removed, and I have been experiencing bladder leaking onto the bed and clothing. This problem is a bit embarrassing.
As time goes on, this problem abates, and I changing my Depends at least twice per day rather than changing five times per day and even during the night.
My next appointment with Dr. Bibb is on February 3, 2005. He is going to give me some exercises to control the urine flow from the bladder. Remember, I’m functioning with only one sphincter, rather than two sphincters before the surgery.
It is Saturday night, January 29, 2005 typing this story; Stephen has gone to bed. I’m feeling good about how I have healed since the surgery and my Pneumonia experience. I’m going to see Dr. Howell my primary doctor, on December 31; then I’m going to see Dr. Bibb my urologist on February 3, 2005. I’m feeling good about everything; feeling very positive, Stephen will be happy about that. I’m feeling 94% better. My urinary flow is much better; breathing is excellent. I can take deep breaths without coughing. My only problem is, that I feeling weak when walking. I’m still minus on the energy. I have been drinking orange juice, and taking multi vitamins, and they are making me feel a lot better. The multi vitamins are now bringing back my energy, and making me feel better along with a lot of rest.
Without Stephen by my side through this whole ordeal 100%, and his positive attitude I wouldn’t have made it alone. Thanks to him I can write this story. Now I am happy to inform everyone that I’m CANCER FREE!
I am a CANCER SURVIVOR!
All you men out there! Please do your selves a favor, and get a yearly PSA exam, and have a digital rectal exam done yearly when you are 50 years old. But, if you have a first degree relative, father or brother, then you should have these tests starting at age 40.
You will be glad you did.
Prostate Cancer Story(Doug Archer)
MY PROSTATE CANCER STORY BY DOUGLAS CHARLES ARCHER
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.*
I was in a state of shock, I couldn’t believe it was ME?! the physician was talking to. My name is Doug Archer, and I have prostate cancer, and this is my story. As you read my story, you will see some similarities and differences from your experience.
My prostate cancer experience began with a physical exam in August, 2003. My primary physician, Dr Howell, is a wonderful physician and friend that a patient can relate to. He informed me that my prostate was enlarged, and my PSA was 3.5, He suggested that I see a Urologist for an evaluation.
The Urologist, I was sent to is located in Hillcrest area of San Diego. His name was Dr. Elmer, M.D., a member of my HMO group. I made an appointment in mid September for an evaluation. Dr. Elmer did a prostate exam and said my prostate was enlarged and unsymmetrical. He says that he can do a PSA study measuring two subtypes of the PSA. The first one is a measure of the general PSA, the second PSA is indicative of cancer. I said “OK, let’s do it.” He also did a Uro-flow study which measures the flow of urine when urinating. A normal flow rate is >15ml/ sec. The language Dr. Elmer used was very unprofessional. For example: he said my uro-flow study was “lousy”. I expected a higher choice of wording from a physician. I may not be a physician, but I’m not stupid. I think I have a very good vocabulary. I expected, him to say that “your flow rate is below normal.” The results were shown to me in flow rates and in graph form. The picture graph gave me the entire story.
At the conclusion of our consultation, Dr. Elmer advised me to wait for a phone call from him. He would either tell me “everything is “OK” or come in for a prostate ultrasound and biopsy. One week past, then a second week. No phone call from the physician or his nurse. The end of September is approaching.
I was in the Hillcrest area one day to run some other errands. I decided to visit the office. I asked Dr. Elmer’s nurse to check my file. Sure enough, there was a note in my chart to call me for an appointment for prostate ultrasound and biopsy. I never received the phone call. An appointment and instructions were given. I followed them to the letter.
My appointment was set for October 12, 2003 at 10AM. I ate breakfast, then I took a shower with Fleets enema. I took a bus to the office. I gave a urine sample then sent to the room where the Ultrasound machine is located. I was told to take off all my clothes, and put on a patient gown. While waiting for Dr. Elmer my eyes took notice of this Ultrasound machine. It was an interesting looking machine with a complex set of knobs, CRT ray tube, and a keyboard similar to a computer keyboard. The frightening thing was the probe with a condom on it. This probe was quite long and its circumference was a bit intimidating. My anxiety is increasing. Dr. Elmer comes in and says, right off, “your PSA was a bit high, but the PSA, indicative of cancer was within normal limits.” In other words, “it let me off the hook for cancer” Dr. Elmer said, A biopsy is done anyways.
I’m told to lie on my left side, with my knees up to my chest. Without any bedside manner, Dr. Elmer inserts this probe into my rectum with a dangerous force without any empathy for what I was going through. It’s a wonder he remembered the KY! As the probe was moving around, I could feel intense pressure, feeling an intense need to have a bowel movement continued to consume me. Dr. Elmer was not concerned about me. His main concern was to hurry-up and finish, and go to his next patient.
After taking a general picture of the prostate, to examine its size, the biopsy began. It was a twinge sensation that I will never forget. It felt like a jackhammer pounding inside me. I thought it would never end. This continued for five times, each one added from the previous then added to the next. I can’t remember after the fifth. I fainted from the pain. Then I came too. Dr. Elmer walked out and never returned. On this particular day, I remember a man dressed in a suit visiting with Dr. Elmer in his plush office. Remember, I had an HMO.
After coming too, I felt very sleepy, and somewhat confused. I couldn’t remember what happened to me. I was slumped over with poor posture on my back. I was not feeling well. I put my clothes on. I walked out into the waiting room, and just sat there to get my orientation back. I remember walking pass Dr. Elmer ’s office and I saw a man dressed in a business suit talking with him. I went home on the bus. I didn’t feel well. I remember walking through the front door, sitting on the living room couch and falling to sleep with the television on. Difficulty in urinating continued to be a problem from the day of the biopsy through the weekend.
I waited and waited for the results. I never received any from Dr. Elmer. My next appointment with Dr. Howell gave me the results. Dr. Howell placed a phone call to have the results faxed. The result, no cancer, just an enlarged prostate. The treatment of choice was Hytrin, 5mg cap at bedtime. Also, Saw Palmetto and a vitamin/mineral supplement were ordered. Hytrin relaxes the smooth muscles of the prostate and bladder neck so urinating is easier. On that particular weekend, Sunday to be exact, my partner and I went to see a staged play. I remember going to the bathroom three times. Once before the program started, once during intermission, and before going home. I’ve never had that particular experience happen to me.
Then on Wednesday afternoon, it hit! I wasn’t able to urinate. I called my Stephen at work, and he rushed home. After Stephen came home, I decided to call Dr. Elmer ’s office, I said “I can’t urinate” the nurse said, “we’re busy, call 911”. I called 911 and spoke to a woman who was very understanding, cause I was a bit embarrassed. I was told they would be here in a couple of minutes; do not drink any fluids. I followed her orders. I should not have had to call the paramedics.
The paramedics came, and three men talked to me. I said “I can’t urinate.”, and “I want to be taken to Mercy Hospital.” They called the emergency room at Mercy and got the OK to take me there. They wheeled me to the ambulance, and took my vitals. The ride continued uneventful.
The ride to the hospital seemed to last forever. I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t think, much less, write or respond to questions. My partner Stephen, was there to help me with questions and other matters. I was wheeled into a triage room where I was able to see the emergency room physician.
Catheterization was ordered immediately. The catheter inserted by a male nurse with my partner at my side. It was a big relief. Believe me. I was sent home with a catheter with a 500cc bag and I was given 500mg tabs of Ciprofloxin, antibiotic used for urinary tract infections. I was surprised that I was not admitted to the hospital with a urinary catheter inserted. I asked the nurse why I would not be admitted, her response was “you have to be at deaths door before you are admitted to the hospital”.
I was sent home with a catheter and bag. The bag was the size of a pint which equals approximately 500cc. My partner and I went home on the bus. I went straight to bed, I wasn’t feeling well. I took a dose of ciprofloxin and had a bowl of chicken soup, and then fell to sleep. The catheter was in for two weeks. I saw Dr. Howell for one appointment and said that everything looked good and that the bacterial count was down. He told me I needed to see Dr. Elmer to have the catheter removed.
I made an appointment with Dr. Elmer in a week to have the catheter removed. My partner Stephen came with me. When Dr. Elmer walked in, I told him what happened, his response was unbelievable “I’m just now finding out about this”. I told him that I attempted to call when I wasn’t able to urinate, but the nurse said you were busy. She told me to call 911; I did.
I had been warned about the removal of urinary catheters, and how painful it can be. So, the afternoon the catheter was to be removed, I had a weird feeling. Dr. Elmer got a since of my apprehension and decided to capitalize on my feelings of anxiety. I couldn’t believe it, Dr. Elmer said, “you’re not going to have a baby”. Stephen and I were shocked. I didn’t want to have anything to do with Dr. Elmer ever again.
I continued to see my primary physician. Dr. Howell, and he continued to monitor my situation, and my general health. I continued taking Saw Palmetto, vitamin and mineral supplements, Hytrin, 5mg, and eating a healthy diet. My urinary flow rates vary from normal to slow dribble. From November 2003 to September 2004 life uneventful. Stephen and I took a vacation to Chicago and had a wonderful time.
After we returned from Chicago, I had an appointment for a physical exam with Dr. Howell. My blood work was normal, except for my PSA, which had gone up since last year at this time. This time my situation was better, Stephen and I were members of a PPO health insurance plan. This means that the physician and hospital are paid more for the services they provide. At this particular time, Dr. Howell was able to send me to a urologist, he knew, or I could select my own I let Dr. Howell select the urologist.
The urologists name was Dr. Bibb, a young man in his early 40’s. His curriculum vitae is prolific. He has a degree in computer engineering from Harvard, a medical degree from McGill University; his Internship in surgery and urology from UCSD. A very erudite man. Need I say more?
I made an appointment to see him on September 30. I was very impressed with him, and his office staff. He did a medical history followed with a physical and prostate exam. He suggested an ultrasound and biopsy. Immediately, I had anxiety about the procedure. Dr. Bibb was empathic of my feelings and explained that he would take precautions. I said “OK, let’s do it.”
The prostate ultrasound was scheduled for the morning of October 12, 2004. I got up made breakfast and lunch for Steve and sent him off to work. I ate breakfast, took a shower and did the fleets enema. I left for my scheduled appointment at 7:15am. I got there at 9:45AM, and signed in with a $10.00 co-pay. My name was called to go back to the room where the procedure will be performed. I was told to remove all clothing, except for my shirt. I sat on the exam table reading a magazine when Dr. Bibb comes in and says to me with a smile, “are you ready for me”? I said “yes”. He told me to lye on my left side with both legs flexed to my chest. Dr. Bibb gingerly inserted a probe with a condom and KY into the rectum, and started taking pictures of the prostate, and checking for general size. Next, Dr. Bibb inserted a syringe with general typical anesthesia. The experience of topical anesthesia being administrated gave me a feeling of stinging from the rectum to the tip of my penis. When I compare this experience with the experience I had a year ago with Dr. Elmer. The anesthesia made the difference during the biopsy, the twinge felt was just a simple twinge, I couldn’t believe the difference. With the pain medication and the valium given to me, the test was uneventful. I had complete confidence in Dr. Bibb at that point.
After the test was completed, I was told to rest on the table for as long as necessary. I was completely relaxed without any concerns what so ever. After 30minutes of resting, I got dressed and made an appointment for October 25th for the results. You will discover that October 25th takes on significance because Stephen my domestic partner birthday is on October 26th. I need to add, Stephen’s 40th birthday!!!
From Oct 12th to Oct. 25th, life continues from day to day without any complications. Stephen continues to work and enjoys his work very much. I continue to take care of the house and enjoy my retirement. The Holidays are coming soon. On Sunday, Stephen and I decided to go to Sea Port Village, a San Diego resort area. We do some shopping and we eat lunch. In the afternoon, we take a tour of the San Diego Naval Ship, The USS Midway. What a wonderful experience, visiting a Naval Ship for the first time in my life.
After a day of Sunday fun, we decided to go home. Stephen has to be at work on Monday morning by 7AM. I have an appointment with Dr. Bibb at 4PM for the results of my prostate ultrasound and biopsy. On this particular day, I don’t remember much. All I remember is fixing breakfast for Stephen and sending him off to work. I spent the day just hanging around the apartment, since I don’t have a car, I had to take the 12:30pm bus to the office so I would make my appointment at 4pm. Since I got there an hour and a half early, I went to the cafeteria to get something to eat. After snacking it was 3:30pm, so I left and got to the office at 3:45pm. and signed in to let the staff know I was there.
I remember, Dr. Bibb wanted me to take a second uro-flow study. The directions, empty bladder 1-½ hours prior to your appointment. Drink 4-6 eight ounces of water before the test. I remember urinating into a funnel shaped receptacle measuring urine flow rate (UFR) a second. After completing the test, I left the office and returned for my appointment. Just before I had my appointment with Dr. Bibb, the nurse asked me to void into the toilet to give me a lower residual bladder volume. The nurse used an ultrasound probe measuring urine residual. I never found out what this value was.
4:00pm hits, and in comes Dr. Bibb. I’m not sure on what to think. At the same time, Stephen calls me on the cell phone wanting to know what the results were. I was confused, I didn’t know who I should talk to first. I got my wits about me and told Stephen that Dr. Bibb just walked in--I will call you back. I said to myself, “I hope I wasn’t rude to him” Stephen, my lover, my sweetheart. I love him very much. -5
Dr. Bibb and I are talking, physician to patient. First question, “how are you feeling”? I said, “feeling ok“, I’m still experiencing bleeding when I ejaculate, it’s still bloody brown in color“. Dr. Bibb says this will continue for another three to six weeks. Without any warning, Dr. Bibb says, “we found cancer”. I said ‘ NO!”. I asked the doctor how can this be? I’m only 56 years old. Dr. Bibb said, ‘I’m sorry, but it’s true”. I couldn’t believe it either. But, he says, it’s not a death sentence. I was in a state of shock. Me with cancer at the age of 56. I’m too young. Prostate cancer is a cancer of your seventy’s, eighties, and nineties My dad is 90 years old and never had prostate cancer or any kind of cancer, so how did I get to be the lucky one?
I immediately called Stephen on his cell phone and said, “I’ve been diagnosed with prostate cancer”. I felt sad because on this day of October 25th, was the day before Stephen’s 40th birthday.
When I told Stephen I was diagnosed with prostate cancer, He was unbelievably positive. I suddenly realized I had been crying for no reason at all. I suggested that Dr. Bibb and Stephen talk on the phone. They had a short conversation. It was suggested that a bone scan be done to ascertain any spread of cancer to the bone.
I left the office around 5pm and took the bus home. Stephen and I continue to talk by cellphone. I arrived home by 6:15pm. Stephen was at the grocery store returning home. We were home together by 6:45pm, and we gave each other a big hug. Stephen would not allow any negativity from me. We talk, and we talk. Stephen says he had a positive conversation with Dr. Bibb. It is believed that we got this cancer at its early stages. We continued to talk and eat dinner.
Stephen tells me he will be with me all the way. He says that he will tell all necessary people at work; that he will need time off from work. I say fine, do what you have to do. I love you very, very much.
It’s October 26, 2004, Tuesday morning, Happy birthday Stephen, it’s your 40th. I’m thrilled to be a part of your big day. It’s 5:30am, I get up, fix breakfast, coffee, and sent him off to work. I stay home taking care of the house and other oddities. I spend the day trying to comprehend all that is happening to me. I continue to read as much information that I can find. It then hits me that this is Stephen’s 40th birthday; I’m not going to let my news of prostate cancer interfere with my celebration I have planned for Stephen, my wonderful sweetheart. A couple of months
ago, Stephen informed me that he wanted me to take him to Mr. A’s for his 40th birthday dinner. I was thrilled to do that. Reservations were made about two months ago. I spent the day relaxing and exercising, just letting go of everything. Stephen did the same throughout his day. By the evening, we were both ready for a night out at Mr. A’s. -6
Stephen came home from work. I took a shower and got into my evening best. We took a bus up to Hillcrest to run some errands. We even did some Christmas shopping. It’s getting close to 6:30pm, reservations time. We arrive at 6:15pm with the sunset just starting; and the San Diego sky line was just lighting up. What a sight to behold. We were taken to our table. Drinks were served, Stephen had coffee, and I had a glass of wine. I was completely relaxed; I was feeling no pain. The thought of prostate cancer never entered my mind. Stephen was with me and we enjoyed our evening to the 1st degree.What a night it was!!
Coming back to reality, I made an appointment to meet with Dr. Bibb’s nurse the next day to discuss all preparations. For example, if I say be at the hospital by 8:00am, but the nursing staff say 7:30am, then 7:30 am is the time. I followed a diet, day before the surgery; then use a Fleets enema oral solution Dr. Bibb suggested that I set aside two pints of my own blood. I ran into burocratic red tape. I called San Diego Blood Bank. They informed me they have a contract with Medicare. They have no private plans listed with any private health insurance company. Therefore, I will need to pay approximately $500.00 for two pints of blood. This comes out of my pocket. What is health insurance for? I contacted Dr. Bibb and decided to have my blood typed and cross matched by the Grossmont Hospital lab.
Stephen and I met with Dr. Bibb to discuss the results of all tests, and it was decided to have the surgery on December 15th so that I could still enjoy the Christmas Holidays, including December Nights in Balboa Park , and Stephen’s Christmas party at work. I would not want to miss that!! At this time, Stephen and I with Dr. Bibb decided to have the surgery done at Sharps Grossmont Hospital. I could have selected Alvarado Hospital, but I was not sure of the facilities. Surgery date of December 15, 2004, at 10am.
Perhaps, I’m getting a head of myself, prostate cancer is diagnosed on October 25th. This gives me a month-a-half to contemplate about the surgery and any long-term results. During this period, Stephen and I are planning for Thanksgiving and Christmas, plus prostate cancer surgery. During this period, Stephen is working hard at Legal Reprographics, a legal copying firm for attorneys and the court system. I continue to work at home cleaning house and doing various oddities.
Reservations with Grossmont Hospital for Dr. Bibb are made for December 15, 2004. The nurse requests that I make an appointment to see her for any additional questions and appointments to be made, and a pre-op visit appointment will be made for you with the Surgical Pre-Op team where any pre-op forms will be signed and blood work, EKG, and chest-X-Rays. This date for pre-op was December 9th. -7 On a lighter note, December Nights in Balboa Park was a very enjoyable event. Stephen and I attended Friday night. We had lot’s of good food. We had Swedish Meatballs, beef stew, stuffed cabbage and Polish sausages. We then attended to a live Christmas Tree celebration given by the Del Cero Baptist Church. This is always an event that Stephen and I will always attend. At 9:30pm, Stephen and I decide to go home after a fun evening. It was beginning to get cold, and we were getting that Christmas feeling!
We woke up Saturday morning and did a few odds and ends around our apartment. Stephen and I decided to go for breakfast at the Hob knob Hill Restaurant. We walked home and got our caring bags to collect any items we might purchase, then we left for Balboa Park for the second day of the celebration. We walked from one end of the park sampling food from various restaurants and we purchased a candle and some other gifts. We were going to attend the Live Christmas Tree Concert again, but it began to rain--it was canceled. Stephen and I went home.
From Sunday on, the week continues uneventful. Stephen goes to work and I stay home taking care of the apartment and contemplating about my surgery date. At this time, I contact the American Cancer Society, located in Austin Texas. The American Cancer Society (ACS) for short, has voluminous information on cancer, and they were able to help me. To my surprise they put me in contact with a national organization for men with prostate cancer. This organization is called Man-2-Man. I received a phone call from Al who lives in San Diego living close to me. He came to visit me on Monday afternoon. We had a informative conversation and he put my mind at ease. He warned me that I will have urinary leaking post-op. He said that I will be “working with” only one sphincter. This will pass with time.
Al even offers to take Stephen and I to the hospital at 6am. What a wonderful man and friend. Otherwise, we would have had to take the trolley or bus to the hospital. The week continues uneventful.
December 11, 2004, the night of Stephen’s Christmas party with Legal Reprographics INC. It was held at the Admiral Kid Club, an exclusive club for the Military Officers and their wives. I never dreamed I would get a chance to dine at the Admiral Kid Club. A special friend from Stephen’s work and his wife picked us up because we don’t have the necessary car stickers. 5:30pm drinks, cheeses, and fruits were served. Dinner served at 6:30pm. What a dinner it was. The main course included chicken, fish and excellent choice of succulent beef that was very tender December 14th the day before the surgery. I send Stephen off to work with breakfast, lunch, and coffee in hand. On this day I follow a special diet. This diet includes a slice of tender turkey with a thin clear sauce and eight oz of apple juice. Throughout the day, I can have clear fluids like 7-Up, sprite, apple juice and water; Jell-O without any fruit. 7pm comes and it is time to take 4 Tablespoons of Fleets Phosphor-soda to clear the lower colon.
December 15, 2004 finally hits!! I get up first and take my shower and get dressed with sweats, tea shirt and jacket. Stephen gets ready and we are in front of our apartment by 6am to meet our ride with Al to take us to Grossmont Hospital.
We arrive at Sharp Grossmont Hospital at 6:45am; We give each other hugs, and say our goodbyes to Al. Arriving at the front desk we are directed to the Pre-OP Surgical Center located on the “A” Floor. I was told to take off all my clothes and wear a gown. At this time, my vitals
were taken, and a IV started. It’s 7:15am, and it’s much of a waiting game till 10am. I’m on this gurney with a gown in a cold environment, shivering! I ask for blankets, one after another. Blankets are thin not the type of blankets you would use on a cold night. The blankets were stored in a hot oven with steam.
For some reason, my surgery schedule was later than the original 10am. I remember being wheeled into the pre-op area with Stephen by my side. The anesthesiologist and nurse came to talk to me. I remember the nurse came first to explain on what to expect. The anesthesialogist came in next, His first question was “what are we doing to you today?” I answered “I’m having a radical retropubic prostatectomy with bilateral pelvic lymph node dissection”. He was a bit surprised by my answer. He continued to ask questions about any previous problems with anesthesia. I said “no”. Questions and answers continued until the OK from the O.R. to wheel me in.
At this point, Stephen says “he will see me after the surgery”. This was very difficult for me, because I love Stephen very much. Stephen left to meet his mother at Grossmont Center for lunch, and do some Christmas shopping, and I’m off to the O.R. for that mouthful procedure. I remember being wheeled down a hallway with a big window looking out on Freeway 125 going towards Santee to the North, and Chula Vista to the South. Then, I remember turning left going down a couple of rooms to my O.R. suit, and I am scarred to death. If I had the nerve, I would have left. While on the gurney, I’m assisted by the doctor and nurse to the operating table. The anesthesiologist places a mask from the anesthesia machine with oxygen. I remember, the anesthesiologist said that he needed to wash-out any nitrogen from my lungs.
From this point, I don’t remember a thing. I was out like a light. The next thing I remember was being told “that my heart rate went down to 22 beats per minute (BPM)”. I was very concerned about that, because I have never had a situation like this before. At this time I am in the recovery room and it is about 5pm and I remember the O.R. nurse getting Stephen from the waiting room to keep me company and calm.
At 6:45pm, I’m wheeled to the 5th floor which is a post-op cardiac floor where patients are placed on post-op cardiac monitoring, and I’m moved to a private room. I would of liked to have had a room mate, but having a wonderful man in a relationship took care of all my needs. In the meantime, Stephen filled out all the necessary forms at the nurses station. I am disoriented and confused, but knew everything was alright. I had gotten really excellent care here at Grossmont, and the nurses who took care of me were wonderful. Stephen goes back to work the next day, and comes to visit me after he gets off work. He arrives at the hospital and comes to my room, and presents me with a hamster beanie baby, it’s cute face was a comfort to me in my post-op state. I also receive some flowers from everyone at Stephen’s work. He also works on Friday before taking three(3) weeks off to take care of me.
I am in the Hospital from December 15th thru December 19th. I am discharged from the hospital on Monday December 20th, I call Stephen at home, and said “that they are releasing me this afternoon” to come home. Around 2:30pm Stephen and his Mom comes to pick me up, and bring me home. At this time Stephen is now off from work and taking care of everything for me while I am recovering from the surgery, and the healing process is day to day. It is now getting close to Christmas and Stephen’s Mom comes over on Christmas Eve and we celebrate by opening presents, and also ate a wonderful dinner Stephen had prepared. I am still not feeling my best but still had a great time. On Saturday Christmas Day Stephen goes to his Parents house to open gifts then he comes and makes me some lunch and dinner. He then goes back to his Parents house for Christmas dinner. On Sunday the 26th Stephen takes me to my Sisters house to celebrate Christmas with them due to her Husband being out of town the day before. I still have the catheter in me but now I am using the small travel bag so I can hide my urine. After the party I call Stephen on his cell to let him know I am ready to come home. We get home and I am not feeling very well, so I go to bed and sleep very soundly.
The week after Christmas I start to feel a little better but always feeling very tired. On December 28th we go to see Dr. Bibby’s nurse so she can take out the staples and replace them with special tape to keep the incision closed. When the nurse pulled out the staples I was surprised that it did not hurt at all. She was very gentle and it felt very weird. After the appointment we came home and Stephen makes me lunch and then I went to bed because I was very tired.
On December 30th I go see my Primary Doctor and he says “that I look kind of pale and my thyroids were slightly enlarged”. So we come home and I rest while Stephen cleans the house, and does some laundry. It is now New Years Eve and I wanted to get out for a few minutes so I can put my inheritance check into the bank, so Stephen takes me over there, and within 5 min. I started to feel lightheaded and fainted at the bank. The Manager of the bank called 911 right away. Good thing Stephen was there to catch me so I wouldn’t have hurt myself when I fell. I talked to the person on the phone from the emergency and said that I was alright. After leaving the bank Stephen is bringing me home, and I start having trouble breathing again. He nudges me and I look at him like why did you do that. He just wanted to make sure that I was okay. Half way home Stephen said that I started to vomit and wheezing rapidly for air. As soon as we reach the front porch I faint again but this time I am out and not breathing for 3 min. Stephen is able to get me breathing again and takes me into the house and calls 911 again and they sent an ambulance right away. As soon as the paramedics arrive they knew I was having problems breathing so they take me to the ambulance and administer oxygen right away. They take my vitals and calls Mercy Hospital to see if they have room in there E.R. At this time Stephen is outside waiting word of where they are taking me. After calling 911 he calls Dr Bibb’s office to inform them of my problem. The on call Dr, calls back right away. After that he calls our regular Dr. to let him know as well. Then Stephen calls his Mom for some support. After 10 min. the Paramedic goes out and tell Stephen that they are taking me to Mercy our primary Hospital. While they are hooking me up to oxygen and an I.V. and taking tests, Stephen is in the lobby taking care of all the paper work. After 10min. They call him back to see me and we wait for all the results and the Doctors to come and see us.
After I was wheeled into the emergency room, I was placed on oxygen. EKG taken and blood test. Physicians were concerned when looking at my symptoms. A CT Scan was taken because of a possible diagnosis of pulmonary embolus. This test was negative, thank GOD for that. While lying and waiting on the ER gurney, a female physiciancomes to me and says, “I have some good news and some bad news.” The good news, you don’t have a pulmonary embolus, but we found bilateral pneumonia. We are going to admit you for IV antibiotics and therapy. Bilateral. Pneumonia is serious.
This was quite a shock to me. I’ve never had anything like this happen to me. I was then told that it was due to smoking exposure on Christmas Day. So, I was admitted to Mercy Hospital on New Years Eve night around 7:30pm on the 5th floor. Stephen stayed with me till about 8:30pm. He then went home so that he could get something to eat. I can’t believe it, Stephen went to Jack In The Box for a hamburger at closing time. He explained his situation concerning my admission to Mercy Hospital; they served him. I was pleased with the service they gave my Stephen, my sweetheart, my honey. Stephen, you more than deserved it.
I was admitted to room, 528 with an older man, probably in his 70’s or 80’s. He was in severe respiratory distress. I could hear each inspiration and expiration. I was unable to sleep for two nights. I was in the same situation. I could hear my self breathing in and out.
After admission, I was put on IV, and oral medications. Also, respiratory therapy was started using a bronchodilator and saline solution. Therapy lasted for ten to fifteen minutes. With time my breathing improved and I was able to cough and deep breathe without any difficulty.
I was at Mercy Hospital for six days. I had to be discharged from Mercy in order to make my appointment with Dr. Bibb to have my catheter removed. The physician from Mercy contacted Dr. Bibb concerning this situation, But Dr. Bibb wanted to be the one to remove the catheter. So I was discharged from Mercy on the evening of January 5, 2005.
Stephen took me to see Dr. Bibb at 9:45am on Thursday, January 6. 2005. Dr. Friedel came in to see me, and he removed the catheter. It was a relief since the insertion of this thing. I had a problem with leaking of urine onto the bed and on my clothes. It was explained to me as follows: your bladder is having spasms, and this is due to the fact of a foreign object being inserted into the bladder. The bladder is saying: “what is this thing doing here”? Dr. Friedel leaves the room, saying everything looks good. Dr. Bidair comes in and reviews my case and says “nothing to worry about;. and that all the cancer was removed with the prostate. ” come back and see me in a month and I will give you some exercises to help your bladder and the urine problem that you are experiencing.
After my appointment, Stephen takes me home to continue with my healing phase. As I have said, Stephen is the quintessential man. I never dreamed that I could have met a man like Stephen. In other words, he is an Angel sent from Heaven in every since of the way.
Through the month of January, Stephen continues to take care of my every need. He is there 100% every time. Even after returning to work on January 10, Stephen still continues to take care of me. He does everything from washing clothes, sheets, and cooking my meals. I can’t pay him enough gratitude.
While Stephen is taking care of me, I’m also under the care of my two physicians, my primary doctor and the urologist. The primary doctor is taking care of all the general medical care, and a blood sample was taken to manage my general health care. The urologist is taking care of the catheter and all post-op problems since the surgery. The catheter has been removed, and I have been experiencing bladder leaking onto the bed and clothing. This problem is a bit embarrassing.
As time goes on, this problem abates, and I changing my Depends at least twice per day rather than changing five times per day and even during the night.
My next appointment with Dr. Bibb is on February 3, 2005. He is going to give me some exercises to control the urine flow from the bladder. Remember, I’m functioning with only one sphincter, rather than two sphincters before the surgery.
It is Saturday night, January 29, 2005 typing this story; Stephen has gone to bed. I’m feeling good about how I have healed since the surgery and my Pneumonia experience. I’m going to see Dr. Howell my primary doctor, on December 31; then I’m going to see Dr. Bibb my urologist on February 3, 2005. I’m feeling good about everything; feeling very positive, Stephen will be happy about that. I’m feeling 94% better. My urinary flow is much better; breathing is excellent. I can take deep breaths without coughing. My only problem is, that I feeling weak when walking. I’m still minus on the energy. I have been drinking orange juice, and taking multi vitamins, and they are making me feel a lot better. The multi vitamins are now bringing back my energy, and making me feel better along with a lot of rest.
Without Stephen by my side through this whole ordeal 100%, and his positive attitude I wouldn’t have made it alone. Thanks to him I can write this story. Now I am happy to inform everyone that I’m CANCER FREE!
I am a CANCER SURVIVOR!
All you men out there! Please do your selves a favor, and get a yearly PSA exam, and have a digital rectal exam done yearly when you are 50 years old. But, if you have a first degree relative, father or brother, then you should have these tests starting at age 40.
You will be glad you did.
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