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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Fairy Tales & Fantasy
- Subject: Comedy / Humor
- Published: 10/17/2017
John opened his eyes and looked up at the white fan hanging from the multi-level, decorative ceiling of his bedroom. He reached over and felt his wife laying next to him. He took a deep breath, and then stretched his arms above him while he yawned. The alarm went off and he could feel his wife stirring. He feigned sleep as she got into a sitting position and did some stretching of her own. Rose was the ideal wife and mother, and he valued her above many things, but couldn't help wincing a little bit as she got up and put her robe over her naked body, and fastened it tightly. She was a raven-haired beauty in her younger days, but now sported a build that could be described as fairly "thick". She was a good, sturdy woman, and he managed a smile as she walked out of the room.
When he caught the faint smell of breakfast cooking, a few minutes later, he got up and put his feet on the floor. After he went over the things he had to do today in his head, not once, but twice, he got up and walked into the bathroom. As he stood there, doing what men do, as soon as they get out of bed, he admired the remodeling job his wife oversaw in the last few weeks. The huge walk-in shower took up most of the space provided when the contractors knocked out a wall, and then added on a bit to this side of the house. He wasn't sure about the wife, but he was never going to use the bidet that was added.
As the toilet seat slowly lowered (automatically) he walked back into the bedroom to see what his butler had snuck in and laid out for him to wear today. It was annoying having to get dressed without his valet, but everyone needs a vacation sometimes. At least that's what his long-time employee said when asking for the time. 'When will I get a little time off', he thought, as he finished buttoning up his freshly laundered shirt. After carefully combing his hair to perfection, he walked out of the living quarters and into the long, balcony-like, upstairs hallway. He grabbed the rail and admired what he could see of his thirty thousand square foot abode. Two maids were busy dusting the expensive baubles that were on display in the mansion's entryway. As he walked down the marble staircase, he caught a better whiff of Rose's famous pancakes.
His wife had come from humble beginnings and enjoyed cooking for the family, unless she was busy with some charity or other cause that kept her away. She was truly on a quest to raise her children herself, and save the world, all the while, making more and more connections in their level of society and higher. She "hobnobbed" with some pretty famous and influential people, as she raised "mad" amounts of money and further "pickled" her liver. After a peck on her lips, he sat down with the family long enough to get the run down on what the children were up to.
His good-looking offspring were sitting up straight, and they spoke to him like he was more of a business associate than as a father. He taught them that, and was proud they had developed a professional relationship with him; overriding any mushy "family" stuff. As his son applied imported, organic fruit spread onto a fresh croissant, he explained that his class was having a guest speaker today to teach them some of the intricacies of the current tax code, and why tax write-offs for the wealthy were important to a strong economy. John didn't remember the other children having guest speakers when they were in third grade, but thought, 'it's never too early to get a good grasp on such things'.
John didn't understand why his manservant, and the driver, had to be off at the same time, but after a kiss from his wife, he begrudgingly walked into the garage and got into his Mercedes. It had been a while since he drove himself anywhere, but he managed to get out of the garage and down the long driveway to the front of the estate. The security man at the gate helped his employer put the car's top down, since it was such a nice day. He regretted it, though, as soon as he hit the freeway on his trek into work, because it blew his hair around, and would expose him to the stench of the city once he got off his exit. After a thirty-minute drive, he pulled into the parking garage of a skyscraper. He went round and round until he reached the fifth floor executive parking area. A man in a suit met him there and escorted the CEO to the elevator. With the turn of a key, the private lift carried them to the thirty second floor.
"Good morning sir!", the matronly-looking secretary said as he walked by and flopped his briefcase and jacket onto her desk. "Good morning Jacquelyn", he replied as he walked straight into the board room without even looking at her. She waited patiently while the gentlemen, who had been waiting, each reported the "day to day" goings on in their divisions, behind closed doors. When the doors flung open, the smell of cigar smoke and cologne about knocked Jackie (her real name...not Jacquelyn) over. She walked beside the big guy while he puffed his expensive stogie. She briefed him on his light schedule while trying to keep pace. Like most days, when they got to the doorway at the end of the hall, Jackie handed him a copy of the schedule she had been trying to get him up to speed on, and he handed her the wasted last three quarters of the hundred dollar cigar he had been working on.
Ten minutes later, he and one of his vice presidents were smacking a racquet ball against the wall of one of the courts he had built on the same floor as his office. His opponent was outscoring him at first, then suddenly seemed to develop a terrible swing, until the game was John's. 'Smart man', he thought as he and the nervous fellow walked to the door that lead to the steam room. After a one-hundred-and-five-degree "pep" talk with his "lesser" associate, and a long shower, John informed Jacquelyn...I mean Jackie, that he was going to lunch, and then home for the day.
Five powerful men sat at a table discussing business before their lunch was served. John had two martinis down and was working on his third. When the first course finally got there, all of them were a little drunk, and ready to eat. After a couple of hours, and another two martinis, John looked at the table full of half-eaten, expensive dishes. He felt a little queasy and wanted lunch, which had stretched out nearly into the dinner hour, to be over. He said his goodbyes and set about finding his ride. While the man he normally counted on to drive him was off gallivanting around "vacationing", he was stuck dealing with a valet, who couldn't help sticking his nose into a man's business. "I'm fine to drive", John yelled as he grabbed the keys out of the poor guy's hand and jumped into his car. No tip, no thanks; the valet was used to it with these 'well-to-do asses!'.
It was all he could do to get to the freeway before John found himself on the side of the road with a cop's lights flashing behind him. The officer almost keeled over as he got close enough to smell the alcohol seeping out of the oblivious CEO's pores. He stood beside the driver's side window and gave John a disgusted look. His face changed when John handed the cop a satin black card with no markings on either side of it. The officer reached into the Mercedes and pulled the keys from the ignition, before going back to his squad car and dialing a number on his personal cell phone. The cop put his less conspicuous, red and blue lights on so as not to attract so much attention.
Twenty minutes after the call, a limousine pulled in front of John's luxury ride. Two men got out and helped the drunk guy into the big, black car. One of them drove away with him, and the other approached the squad car. "Thanks a lot", the officer said to the guy as he handed the car's keys to him. The cop knew that tomorrow's lunch time would entail a trip to city hall where he would drop the black card, and his name and precinct number, off to the mayor's chief of staff. This was his second black card in six months and it made his promotion prospects go from good to excellent!
John looked like "what the cat dragged home", when the butler let him in the front door of his mansion. Rose shook her head as she took his hand and led him into the dining room. The business tycoon sat in, as the wife and kids finished their dinner. He just wanted to lay down and forget about the unsavory episode with the policeman, but he performed for his "Stepford" children as well as could be expected.
An hour later, in bed, he felt the wife get in beside him. She tickled at his side until he turned her way. "You promised", she said as she tugged at his clothes. A few minutes later, he was laying on top of her. "OK Rosie...let's get this over with", he said as she tried to kiss him. She knew he didn't have a romantic bone in his body, but she still kind of liked the fellow. As he began making love to his wife, he thought about one of the young secretaries he had been eyeing to take over for Jacquelyn. With that he passed out, while still on top of his unfulfilled mate.
The next thing he knew he was jarred awake, and began to yell. He sat up, and then put his hand onto his wife's rock-hard stomach, and then ran it up her torso to check out the rest of her. Several men, in suits, ran into his room and turned the lights on as he continued yelling. "I had the dream again!" "What dream", his wife asked as she tried to calm him down. "The dream!!!...you know...the dream!!!". As the Presidential Seal on the bed came into focus, he said, "Melania, it was awful!!...I was pooooooorrrrrrrrr!" As the lead Secret Service agent was closing the bedroom doors, he could hear, "and we only had one mansion, and I was married to...."
The Dream(John Filkins)
John opened his eyes and looked up at the white fan hanging from the multi-level, decorative ceiling of his bedroom. He reached over and felt his wife laying next to him. He took a deep breath, and then stretched his arms above him while he yawned. The alarm went off and he could feel his wife stirring. He feigned sleep as she got into a sitting position and did some stretching of her own. Rose was the ideal wife and mother, and he valued her above many things, but couldn't help wincing a little bit as she got up and put her robe over her naked body, and fastened it tightly. She was a raven-haired beauty in her younger days, but now sported a build that could be described as fairly "thick". She was a good, sturdy woman, and he managed a smile as she walked out of the room.
When he caught the faint smell of breakfast cooking, a few minutes later, he got up and put his feet on the floor. After he went over the things he had to do today in his head, not once, but twice, he got up and walked into the bathroom. As he stood there, doing what men do, as soon as they get out of bed, he admired the remodeling job his wife oversaw in the last few weeks. The huge walk-in shower took up most of the space provided when the contractors knocked out a wall, and then added on a bit to this side of the house. He wasn't sure about the wife, but he was never going to use the bidet that was added.
As the toilet seat slowly lowered (automatically) he walked back into the bedroom to see what his butler had snuck in and laid out for him to wear today. It was annoying having to get dressed without his valet, but everyone needs a vacation sometimes. At least that's what his long-time employee said when asking for the time. 'When will I get a little time off', he thought, as he finished buttoning up his freshly laundered shirt. After carefully combing his hair to perfection, he walked out of the living quarters and into the long, balcony-like, upstairs hallway. He grabbed the rail and admired what he could see of his thirty thousand square foot abode. Two maids were busy dusting the expensive baubles that were on display in the mansion's entryway. As he walked down the marble staircase, he caught a better whiff of Rose's famous pancakes.
His wife had come from humble beginnings and enjoyed cooking for the family, unless she was busy with some charity or other cause that kept her away. She was truly on a quest to raise her children herself, and save the world, all the while, making more and more connections in their level of society and higher. She "hobnobbed" with some pretty famous and influential people, as she raised "mad" amounts of money and further "pickled" her liver. After a peck on her lips, he sat down with the family long enough to get the run down on what the children were up to.
His good-looking offspring were sitting up straight, and they spoke to him like he was more of a business associate than as a father. He taught them that, and was proud they had developed a professional relationship with him; overriding any mushy "family" stuff. As his son applied imported, organic fruit spread onto a fresh croissant, he explained that his class was having a guest speaker today to teach them some of the intricacies of the current tax code, and why tax write-offs for the wealthy were important to a strong economy. John didn't remember the other children having guest speakers when they were in third grade, but thought, 'it's never too early to get a good grasp on such things'.
John didn't understand why his manservant, and the driver, had to be off at the same time, but after a kiss from his wife, he begrudgingly walked into the garage and got into his Mercedes. It had been a while since he drove himself anywhere, but he managed to get out of the garage and down the long driveway to the front of the estate. The security man at the gate helped his employer put the car's top down, since it was such a nice day. He regretted it, though, as soon as he hit the freeway on his trek into work, because it blew his hair around, and would expose him to the stench of the city once he got off his exit. After a thirty-minute drive, he pulled into the parking garage of a skyscraper. He went round and round until he reached the fifth floor executive parking area. A man in a suit met him there and escorted the CEO to the elevator. With the turn of a key, the private lift carried them to the thirty second floor.
"Good morning sir!", the matronly-looking secretary said as he walked by and flopped his briefcase and jacket onto her desk. "Good morning Jacquelyn", he replied as he walked straight into the board room without even looking at her. She waited patiently while the gentlemen, who had been waiting, each reported the "day to day" goings on in their divisions, behind closed doors. When the doors flung open, the smell of cigar smoke and cologne about knocked Jackie (her real name...not Jacquelyn) over. She walked beside the big guy while he puffed his expensive stogie. She briefed him on his light schedule while trying to keep pace. Like most days, when they got to the doorway at the end of the hall, Jackie handed him a copy of the schedule she had been trying to get him up to speed on, and he handed her the wasted last three quarters of the hundred dollar cigar he had been working on.
Ten minutes later, he and one of his vice presidents were smacking a racquet ball against the wall of one of the courts he had built on the same floor as his office. His opponent was outscoring him at first, then suddenly seemed to develop a terrible swing, until the game was John's. 'Smart man', he thought as he and the nervous fellow walked to the door that lead to the steam room. After a one-hundred-and-five-degree "pep" talk with his "lesser" associate, and a long shower, John informed Jacquelyn...I mean Jackie, that he was going to lunch, and then home for the day.
Five powerful men sat at a table discussing business before their lunch was served. John had two martinis down and was working on his third. When the first course finally got there, all of them were a little drunk, and ready to eat. After a couple of hours, and another two martinis, John looked at the table full of half-eaten, expensive dishes. He felt a little queasy and wanted lunch, which had stretched out nearly into the dinner hour, to be over. He said his goodbyes and set about finding his ride. While the man he normally counted on to drive him was off gallivanting around "vacationing", he was stuck dealing with a valet, who couldn't help sticking his nose into a man's business. "I'm fine to drive", John yelled as he grabbed the keys out of the poor guy's hand and jumped into his car. No tip, no thanks; the valet was used to it with these 'well-to-do asses!'.
It was all he could do to get to the freeway before John found himself on the side of the road with a cop's lights flashing behind him. The officer almost keeled over as he got close enough to smell the alcohol seeping out of the oblivious CEO's pores. He stood beside the driver's side window and gave John a disgusted look. His face changed when John handed the cop a satin black card with no markings on either side of it. The officer reached into the Mercedes and pulled the keys from the ignition, before going back to his squad car and dialing a number on his personal cell phone. The cop put his less conspicuous, red and blue lights on so as not to attract so much attention.
Twenty minutes after the call, a limousine pulled in front of John's luxury ride. Two men got out and helped the drunk guy into the big, black car. One of them drove away with him, and the other approached the squad car. "Thanks a lot", the officer said to the guy as he handed the car's keys to him. The cop knew that tomorrow's lunch time would entail a trip to city hall where he would drop the black card, and his name and precinct number, off to the mayor's chief of staff. This was his second black card in six months and it made his promotion prospects go from good to excellent!
John looked like "what the cat dragged home", when the butler let him in the front door of his mansion. Rose shook her head as she took his hand and led him into the dining room. The business tycoon sat in, as the wife and kids finished their dinner. He just wanted to lay down and forget about the unsavory episode with the policeman, but he performed for his "Stepford" children as well as could be expected.
An hour later, in bed, he felt the wife get in beside him. She tickled at his side until he turned her way. "You promised", she said as she tugged at his clothes. A few minutes later, he was laying on top of her. "OK Rosie...let's get this over with", he said as she tried to kiss him. She knew he didn't have a romantic bone in his body, but she still kind of liked the fellow. As he began making love to his wife, he thought about one of the young secretaries he had been eyeing to take over for Jacquelyn. With that he passed out, while still on top of his unfulfilled mate.
The next thing he knew he was jarred awake, and began to yell. He sat up, and then put his hand onto his wife's rock-hard stomach, and then ran it up her torso to check out the rest of her. Several men, in suits, ran into his room and turned the lights on as he continued yelling. "I had the dream again!" "What dream", his wife asked as she tried to calm him down. "The dream!!!...you know...the dream!!!". As the Presidential Seal on the bed came into focus, he said, "Melania, it was awful!!...I was pooooooorrrrrrrrr!" As the lead Secret Service agent was closing the bedroom doors, he could hear, "and we only had one mansion, and I was married to...."
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