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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Science Fiction
- Subject: Horror / Scary
- Published: 01/31/2015
About time
Born 1992, F, from Zlatar Bistrica, Croatia (Local Name: Hrvatska)About Time
“Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday; I can't be sure.”
-Mersault
This was supposed to be about Time. But time for writing things about Time has passed. Soundlessly, speechlessly, without any witnesses, almost like it was never here. But make no mistake. Time, beyond doubt, exists in all of its tyranny. It is here and there but you can’t quite see it. Maybe you think you can’t feel it, oh but you can! Trust me, mortal, you can. The colossal secret of It is that you can’t really feel it in small doses. Only in big portions when it is already too late. And Time itself is never late, never delayed, always waiting. Like a fiend. So if you thought this will be about Time, move on. Waste yours somewhere else. It has been given to you and you alone to do with it as you please. This was meant to be about Time but it is not. Time for things about Time has long passed and belongs to someone in the past.
I tried to trap it once but it mocked me. I wanted to put it in a bottle where it really belongs. I smiled when I imagined it bottled up, forsaken. And I waited and waited for the perfect timing to do it. I realize now the error of my ways, the pure irony of it all. As I waited to trap It, It trapped me. It trapped me with pure extravagance and absurdity that only Time has. My wife, for you see even I was a married man, was genuinely sick so I thought of a plan. When she where to die, her Time would be up. It had to go somewhere of course, and I would be there to wait. Studies show that when you die you become lighter for 21 grams and that is believed is the weight of a human soul. They couldn’t be more wrong! That was the Time leaving us and taking up Its timeless form. I waited and waited. She would get worse then she would get better. That reminded me of Poe’s Ligeia so I read it again as I had some time to kill while waiting. My wife couldn’t quite apprehend why I was happier when she was worse than usual. I tried to hide it but there was really no point. I had that sinner smile that gives you up in the end, right there in the corners of my lips. She was one of those hippie-natured folk so it wasn’t hard to convince her she was in no need of doctors and other creatures of similar professions. All nature, all the time I believe was her motto. And little by little I started poisoning her because she was just taking too long! The endless wait nonetheless continued. Time had to be tricked into thinking hers was up or it would refuse to take her. That’s why it had to be done slowly. I started to feel It everywhere. It pressed against me, suffocating me. I felt it running out until it finally did.
It was raining outside as the door bell rang. I had no intention of answering it as I never did, but our hellish neighbors decided it was time to stop minding their own business and come to see if my wife was ok, which of course she wasn’t, so they let themselves in. After they saw the state she was in they took her to the hospital with mine and surprisingly hers objections. Anyway, they took my private project away. After they ran some of the blood tests in the hospital I believe it became apparent what I was doing and then she changed her mind about coming home. I can’t say I resent her. She didn’t even bother to take the dog with her. Thank God we have no children! And yes, neighbors think I’m out of my mind but I always considered them simpleminded so there’s that. Despite everything, I know I was close! Close to capturing It, and It doesn’t want that to happen. Like all things, manmade of otherwise, It wants to rule. And so it does. Dusk ‘till down, it rules. Its kingdom amaranthine, It’s rule unyielding.
I realized by now that It wants me gone. The travesty it all is. So I threw out the clocks, the digital ones, the ordinary ones. But it didn’t even slow down. Soon I realized that everything that depends on Time has to go, the TV, the VCR, the computer, the microwave. Basically, all technology and everything with a clear beginning that was spiraling toward an uncertain end. At that point I believe it slowed down so I began to enjoy my books again skimming them in timeless silence. Shortly after I realized that reading is also a time-based art form so I burned them all. Burned them all! I smiled as they were burning because I knew that somewhere out there Time was screaming. That was when I began to laugh.
With books gone, I felt rejuvenated. I started to appreciate paintings again, even more so photographs. They were the perfect presentation of a Time-trapped world. Although I was aware that they began their existence as a Time dependant creatures we are all forced to be, having beginning and an ending to our creation. But once they came to be they existed in a timeless universe. I admired and envied their freedom. They were just there. I imagined what would my life look like when it will finally be freed of shackles of Time; an entropic, vivid smudge on the fabric of existence but timeless nonetheless. But as color annoyed me I decided it would be black and white.
With careful consideration, I made a decision to take a photograph everyday to make sure that if everything else fails, at least parts of me will be infinite. Roaming through wife’s stuff I found and old Polaroid camera and decided it would do just fine. And after a few days it became apparent to me that I began to look younger. The years were melting away. It was like I created a Time-free zone, or Time really grew tired and didn’t care anymore.
I lived in a stated of bliss for a while. I existed merely for myself and I never went out. Time didn’t pass; it seemed to stand still within these walls, at least for me. But then, the most bizarre of things happened. The only remaining sign of my wife, who left seemed centuries ago, started to annoy the hell out of me. It was her damned dog. As I lived in a perpetual state of darkness and had no need for consuming food for nearly a millennium now, dog began to squeal and moan. Hunger I suppose. I could never really understand these critters, so God knows what it really wanted. I decided to free him of his needs hence I had an epiphany regarding his state. I killed the dog of course. Left alive, he would surely be consumed by Time; and we wouldn’t want that, would we? And as he was a lower being of narrowed state of awareness, I couldn’t use him as I hoped to use my wife. He would be depleted, not taken. Time would not come for him. Life would just drip out of him until there was no more. Purely sad I would add. So I did the only thing that a man in his right mind could, and cut his throat. He offered no resistance for I have explained to him his situation given the possibility that he could understand me, unlike me him. In his final moments I think he did just that and gave in.
There was really only one thing that I could have done with the body when you think about it. Honor it! Give it meaning and make it boundless. So I ate it, made an entire ritual out of it. Made him a part of something bigger then he could ever be on his own.
After all this dog related delays, I brought back my attention to the photographs. They gave me more and more proof that I was right! I was a young man once again! Did all my efforts pay off? Maybe the Tyrant left me alone. I kept floating in this state becoming an ageless stranger even to myself.
And in this contemplating floatation I carefully thought about my next move. I came a long way and I must not slip up or back down. And the longer I thought about the world and its affairs the sadder I gotten. They will never achieve the proper discipline to get where I am now and without the rest of them, Time can’t be entirely stopped. It stopped for me, even started to run backwards but I’m just a small speck of dust. It requires more. It demands all. It has to be done on a larger scale! And every time I thought about the other humans I just remembered my idiotic neighbors. If most of people out there were like them I stood no chance. Oh humanity! The truly evil thing Time did (among other wretched things Time does for it does them a lot) was that it made His opponents stupid, gullible, vulnerable. Scared to look beyond. Yes, I was just a speck of dust. A speck of dust indeed. But I was not going to let that stop me! I’m a pioneer for God’s sake! It’s a step back I’ll give you that, but I’ve dealt with a fair amount of those before. And like all step backs, it has a solution! All I’m ready to give away at this point is that it’s time for me to go out. Go out and spread the words of wisdom. I’ll start with my neighbors for not only they are my closest but I also believe them to be deeply mentally insufficient people. Wish me luck dear observer!
Few minutes later the killings started.
They lasted for two weeks. Thirteen was the total number of victims. They were murdered with an axe. The murderer or murderers, as we believe at this point, supposedly chose them by coincidence. They were ruthless. They were of a deranged mind as stated in the police file. Hell I wrote it down myself. Even the family pets were killed so the total body count amounted to 27. Murders appeared to be of the sacrificial nature although later on there was no record of the killers being a part of any cult. Curious things about the crimes scenes were the following: all the clocks were smashed, books were burned, cut or defiled in any form, all the technological gadgets were destroyed but the deed itself was clean and simple so the deaths appeared to have been quick. Except for one couple who, at this moment, is believed to be the lunatics’ first victim. They were butchered beyond recognition. They also appear to be the mad man’s neighbors. One of the Night crawlers, that is what the papers have named them, ended his reign of terror with a single shot to the chest. Picked the wrong house. Guess you never really know which way will the coin toss end up. No last words, nothing dramatic. The police, including myself, were baffled with the fact that the Night Crawler was an old man. He sure looked like one (and I’ve seen the body, man he looked old!). Anyway, his ID stated he wasn’t THAT old. We found his wife after we published his identity. She confirmed the “not-so-old-age” but wasn’t able to identify the body. Claimed we must have the wrong man. I get her, who would want themselves know as a wife of a serial killer. She also denied the claim she had a son with a mad man. Which I get too ‘cause we’re still looking for him. We believe he was helping his old man. Hell, we even have proof! We found a bunch of Polaroid pictures in their house. Ones of earlier date contained the “not-so-old-man”. Maybe his wife was right. Maybe he did some serious aging since she was gone. Maybe that’s what killing does to you. But the Polaroids of earlier date showed a young man with a clear resemblance to his old psycho daddy. There were even a few in which he was covered in blood. Thank God it was only dogs’ blood. My stomach couldn’t handle anymore of the hard core shit. Anyhow, who knew, maybe madness really is contagious.
“Time will heal everything but what if time was the illness.”
Der Himmel über Berlin
About time(Zrinka Jurec)
About Time
“Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday; I can't be sure.”
-Mersault
This was supposed to be about Time. But time for writing things about Time has passed. Soundlessly, speechlessly, without any witnesses, almost like it was never here. But make no mistake. Time, beyond doubt, exists in all of its tyranny. It is here and there but you can’t quite see it. Maybe you think you can’t feel it, oh but you can! Trust me, mortal, you can. The colossal secret of It is that you can’t really feel it in small doses. Only in big portions when it is already too late. And Time itself is never late, never delayed, always waiting. Like a fiend. So if you thought this will be about Time, move on. Waste yours somewhere else. It has been given to you and you alone to do with it as you please. This was meant to be about Time but it is not. Time for things about Time has long passed and belongs to someone in the past.
I tried to trap it once but it mocked me. I wanted to put it in a bottle where it really belongs. I smiled when I imagined it bottled up, forsaken. And I waited and waited for the perfect timing to do it. I realize now the error of my ways, the pure irony of it all. As I waited to trap It, It trapped me. It trapped me with pure extravagance and absurdity that only Time has. My wife, for you see even I was a married man, was genuinely sick so I thought of a plan. When she where to die, her Time would be up. It had to go somewhere of course, and I would be there to wait. Studies show that when you die you become lighter for 21 grams and that is believed is the weight of a human soul. They couldn’t be more wrong! That was the Time leaving us and taking up Its timeless form. I waited and waited. She would get worse then she would get better. That reminded me of Poe’s Ligeia so I read it again as I had some time to kill while waiting. My wife couldn’t quite apprehend why I was happier when she was worse than usual. I tried to hide it but there was really no point. I had that sinner smile that gives you up in the end, right there in the corners of my lips. She was one of those hippie-natured folk so it wasn’t hard to convince her she was in no need of doctors and other creatures of similar professions. All nature, all the time I believe was her motto. And little by little I started poisoning her because she was just taking too long! The endless wait nonetheless continued. Time had to be tricked into thinking hers was up or it would refuse to take her. That’s why it had to be done slowly. I started to feel It everywhere. It pressed against me, suffocating me. I felt it running out until it finally did.
It was raining outside as the door bell rang. I had no intention of answering it as I never did, but our hellish neighbors decided it was time to stop minding their own business and come to see if my wife was ok, which of course she wasn’t, so they let themselves in. After they saw the state she was in they took her to the hospital with mine and surprisingly hers objections. Anyway, they took my private project away. After they ran some of the blood tests in the hospital I believe it became apparent what I was doing and then she changed her mind about coming home. I can’t say I resent her. She didn’t even bother to take the dog with her. Thank God we have no children! And yes, neighbors think I’m out of my mind but I always considered them simpleminded so there’s that. Despite everything, I know I was close! Close to capturing It, and It doesn’t want that to happen. Like all things, manmade of otherwise, It wants to rule. And so it does. Dusk ‘till down, it rules. Its kingdom amaranthine, It’s rule unyielding.
I realized by now that It wants me gone. The travesty it all is. So I threw out the clocks, the digital ones, the ordinary ones. But it didn’t even slow down. Soon I realized that everything that depends on Time has to go, the TV, the VCR, the computer, the microwave. Basically, all technology and everything with a clear beginning that was spiraling toward an uncertain end. At that point I believe it slowed down so I began to enjoy my books again skimming them in timeless silence. Shortly after I realized that reading is also a time-based art form so I burned them all. Burned them all! I smiled as they were burning because I knew that somewhere out there Time was screaming. That was when I began to laugh.
With books gone, I felt rejuvenated. I started to appreciate paintings again, even more so photographs. They were the perfect presentation of a Time-trapped world. Although I was aware that they began their existence as a Time dependant creatures we are all forced to be, having beginning and an ending to our creation. But once they came to be they existed in a timeless universe. I admired and envied their freedom. They were just there. I imagined what would my life look like when it will finally be freed of shackles of Time; an entropic, vivid smudge on the fabric of existence but timeless nonetheless. But as color annoyed me I decided it would be black and white.
With careful consideration, I made a decision to take a photograph everyday to make sure that if everything else fails, at least parts of me will be infinite. Roaming through wife’s stuff I found and old Polaroid camera and decided it would do just fine. And after a few days it became apparent to me that I began to look younger. The years were melting away. It was like I created a Time-free zone, or Time really grew tired and didn’t care anymore.
I lived in a stated of bliss for a while. I existed merely for myself and I never went out. Time didn’t pass; it seemed to stand still within these walls, at least for me. But then, the most bizarre of things happened. The only remaining sign of my wife, who left seemed centuries ago, started to annoy the hell out of me. It was her damned dog. As I lived in a perpetual state of darkness and had no need for consuming food for nearly a millennium now, dog began to squeal and moan. Hunger I suppose. I could never really understand these critters, so God knows what it really wanted. I decided to free him of his needs hence I had an epiphany regarding his state. I killed the dog of course. Left alive, he would surely be consumed by Time; and we wouldn’t want that, would we? And as he was a lower being of narrowed state of awareness, I couldn’t use him as I hoped to use my wife. He would be depleted, not taken. Time would not come for him. Life would just drip out of him until there was no more. Purely sad I would add. So I did the only thing that a man in his right mind could, and cut his throat. He offered no resistance for I have explained to him his situation given the possibility that he could understand me, unlike me him. In his final moments I think he did just that and gave in.
There was really only one thing that I could have done with the body when you think about it. Honor it! Give it meaning and make it boundless. So I ate it, made an entire ritual out of it. Made him a part of something bigger then he could ever be on his own.
After all this dog related delays, I brought back my attention to the photographs. They gave me more and more proof that I was right! I was a young man once again! Did all my efforts pay off? Maybe the Tyrant left me alone. I kept floating in this state becoming an ageless stranger even to myself.
And in this contemplating floatation I carefully thought about my next move. I came a long way and I must not slip up or back down. And the longer I thought about the world and its affairs the sadder I gotten. They will never achieve the proper discipline to get where I am now and without the rest of them, Time can’t be entirely stopped. It stopped for me, even started to run backwards but I’m just a small speck of dust. It requires more. It demands all. It has to be done on a larger scale! And every time I thought about the other humans I just remembered my idiotic neighbors. If most of people out there were like them I stood no chance. Oh humanity! The truly evil thing Time did (among other wretched things Time does for it does them a lot) was that it made His opponents stupid, gullible, vulnerable. Scared to look beyond. Yes, I was just a speck of dust. A speck of dust indeed. But I was not going to let that stop me! I’m a pioneer for God’s sake! It’s a step back I’ll give you that, but I’ve dealt with a fair amount of those before. And like all step backs, it has a solution! All I’m ready to give away at this point is that it’s time for me to go out. Go out and spread the words of wisdom. I’ll start with my neighbors for not only they are my closest but I also believe them to be deeply mentally insufficient people. Wish me luck dear observer!
Few minutes later the killings started.
They lasted for two weeks. Thirteen was the total number of victims. They were murdered with an axe. The murderer or murderers, as we believe at this point, supposedly chose them by coincidence. They were ruthless. They were of a deranged mind as stated in the police file. Hell I wrote it down myself. Even the family pets were killed so the total body count amounted to 27. Murders appeared to be of the sacrificial nature although later on there was no record of the killers being a part of any cult. Curious things about the crimes scenes were the following: all the clocks were smashed, books were burned, cut or defiled in any form, all the technological gadgets were destroyed but the deed itself was clean and simple so the deaths appeared to have been quick. Except for one couple who, at this moment, is believed to be the lunatics’ first victim. They were butchered beyond recognition. They also appear to be the mad man’s neighbors. One of the Night crawlers, that is what the papers have named them, ended his reign of terror with a single shot to the chest. Picked the wrong house. Guess you never really know which way will the coin toss end up. No last words, nothing dramatic. The police, including myself, were baffled with the fact that the Night Crawler was an old man. He sure looked like one (and I’ve seen the body, man he looked old!). Anyway, his ID stated he wasn’t THAT old. We found his wife after we published his identity. She confirmed the “not-so-old-age” but wasn’t able to identify the body. Claimed we must have the wrong man. I get her, who would want themselves know as a wife of a serial killer. She also denied the claim she had a son with a mad man. Which I get too ‘cause we’re still looking for him. We believe he was helping his old man. Hell, we even have proof! We found a bunch of Polaroid pictures in their house. Ones of earlier date contained the “not-so-old-man”. Maybe his wife was right. Maybe he did some serious aging since she was gone. Maybe that’s what killing does to you. But the Polaroids of earlier date showed a young man with a clear resemblance to his old psycho daddy. There were even a few in which he was covered in blood. Thank God it was only dogs’ blood. My stomach couldn’t handle anymore of the hard core shit. Anyhow, who knew, maybe madness really is contagious.
“Time will heal everything but what if time was the illness.”
Der Himmel über Berlin
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