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- Story Listed as: True Life For Teens
- Theme: Drama / Human Interest
- Subject: Biography / Autobiography
- Published: 04/05/2018
***WARNING: this contains some light mentions of self-harm. I have not included graphic details, but if you are easily triggered, please do not read any further. The most triggering content is in the 4th paragraph, so you could also skip 4th paragraph, if you desire.
According to an ADAA survey, 7.8% of the United States population is affected by a social anxiety disorder. This survey suggests that men and women are equally affected by this disorder, abbreviated SAD. The results of this survey showed that 36% of people with SAD report having symptoms for 10 or more years before seeking help, although most symptoms appear around the age of thirteen.
I had no idea of any of those statistics a year ago. I did not even know that social anxiety existed. Thinking that I was shy, I thought that I was normal. My earliest memories of any social-related anxiety are of when I was three or four years old. Every week, I attended a youth group with my older sister. Among the many chaotic activities was one which I despised. When you entered the church building, the youth leaders would write a number on your hand. During worship, if the number on your hand was drawn from the basket, you were given a streamer and expected to dance to the music onstage. For some reason, I despised being onstage, and the thought of asking not to go onstage never crossed my mind. I remember standing onstage, letting my streamer drag on the ground while I stood still. I remember watching the girl next to me jumping up and down, flinging her streamer all around her, and asking why I wasn't dancing.
Today, I know that I have social anxiety, although I don't know what caused it--if anything caused it. I have benefited from therapy, although my greatest breakthrough happened when I spent a couple days doing online research, and later joined an online support group.
Along with most anxiety disorders often comes depression. I was lucky enough not to experience severe depression for long periods of time. One of those times, I self-harmed for the first time. At the time, I had no idea that self-harm existed. Finding relief in that form was great at first because I could give myself a mental break. I could submerge myself in the moment, since that moment was so powerful. The self-harm allowed me to control something, and that feeling was intoxicating. The first time I self-harmed, I did it on my right wrist. After I finished, I realized that my parents might notice, and I would be in trouble. My parents believed that any form of self-harm was done to get attention. I put a band-aid on my wrist and prayed that my parents would not ask about it. Of course, first my mom asked, and then my dad asked. I made up a story that I had scratched my wrist on barbed wire, and everyone believed me. I was able to continue the self-harm until I googled "symptoms of depression." After that, and some counseling, I finally stopped all self-harm.
After a couple months of counseling and learning about my condition, I began to feel a lot better. One thing I was adamant about was that I was not going to touch medicine. I wanted to stay away from all unnatural treatments, and to this day, I do not regret that decision. The best thing I did was to do my own research. I learned so much and have become so much more confident that I can now actually go to the grocery store and not have a panic attack.
The most important thing I learned is that I am not alone, and there is always somebody who is happy to help you; all you have to do is ask. If you have had similar experiences to mine, I would like you to know that you are brave. The world needs you. There is no other person on this earth who can do what you are meant to do. Thank you.
Learning How to Be Rose(Rose Smith)
***WARNING: this contains some light mentions of self-harm. I have not included graphic details, but if you are easily triggered, please do not read any further. The most triggering content is in the 4th paragraph, so you could also skip 4th paragraph, if you desire.
According to an ADAA survey, 7.8% of the United States population is affected by a social anxiety disorder. This survey suggests that men and women are equally affected by this disorder, abbreviated SAD. The results of this survey showed that 36% of people with SAD report having symptoms for 10 or more years before seeking help, although most symptoms appear around the age of thirteen.
I had no idea of any of those statistics a year ago. I did not even know that social anxiety existed. Thinking that I was shy, I thought that I was normal. My earliest memories of any social-related anxiety are of when I was three or four years old. Every week, I attended a youth group with my older sister. Among the many chaotic activities was one which I despised. When you entered the church building, the youth leaders would write a number on your hand. During worship, if the number on your hand was drawn from the basket, you were given a streamer and expected to dance to the music onstage. For some reason, I despised being onstage, and the thought of asking not to go onstage never crossed my mind. I remember standing onstage, letting my streamer drag on the ground while I stood still. I remember watching the girl next to me jumping up and down, flinging her streamer all around her, and asking why I wasn't dancing.
Today, I know that I have social anxiety, although I don't know what caused it--if anything caused it. I have benefited from therapy, although my greatest breakthrough happened when I spent a couple days doing online research, and later joined an online support group.
Along with most anxiety disorders often comes depression. I was lucky enough not to experience severe depression for long periods of time. One of those times, I self-harmed for the first time. At the time, I had no idea that self-harm existed. Finding relief in that form was great at first because I could give myself a mental break. I could submerge myself in the moment, since that moment was so powerful. The self-harm allowed me to control something, and that feeling was intoxicating. The first time I self-harmed, I did it on my right wrist. After I finished, I realized that my parents might notice, and I would be in trouble. My parents believed that any form of self-harm was done to get attention. I put a band-aid on my wrist and prayed that my parents would not ask about it. Of course, first my mom asked, and then my dad asked. I made up a story that I had scratched my wrist on barbed wire, and everyone believed me. I was able to continue the self-harm until I googled "symptoms of depression." After that, and some counseling, I finally stopped all self-harm.
After a couple months of counseling and learning about my condition, I began to feel a lot better. One thing I was adamant about was that I was not going to touch medicine. I wanted to stay away from all unnatural treatments, and to this day, I do not regret that decision. The best thing I did was to do my own research. I learned so much and have become so much more confident that I can now actually go to the grocery store and not have a panic attack.
The most important thing I learned is that I am not alone, and there is always somebody who is happy to help you; all you have to do is ask. If you have had similar experiences to mine, I would like you to know that you are brave. The world needs you. There is no other person on this earth who can do what you are meant to do. Thank you.
Kevin Hughes
06/11/2018Aloha Rose,
A great story, a tough, but wonderful journey, and all the earmarks of a strong confident person growing from the leftover angst of life. Smiles, Kevin
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