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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Drama / Human Interest
- Subject: Life Changing Decisions/Events
- Published: 06/30/2010
Another late night, maybe a sleepless one. Too many things on my mind, no time for anything else. I need some answers. I knowingly waste my days and nights away trying to discover answers to questions that may have no answers.
Do I have the freedom of choice, or is my path predetermined? Do I make a difference in my surroundings? What can answer these questions for me? Not science. So, what other path is there? I wonder........ I’ve watched others float through life, never asking. They seem happier than I am. The religious people are given answers with no proof, and they believe through faith, and I pity them; or maybe I am jealous. I have so many theories, but which should I believe in?
The only thing that I can live with is that I will get all my answers when I die. The reason that I can live with that is because it is the only way that I can get an answer with proof. Because if there is life after death, then it will be a divine experience. I have waited for a divine experience in this life, but it hasn’t happened; I don’t even know if I believe in God. I have written these words on a paper “I can’t wait any longer for the answers.” I will attach it to my chest.
I sit here in my room, where I do my best thinking, and wait for Him to intervene, but I know he won’t. I grow tired of waiting, I am anxious. I know my family and friends will be upset, but I hope they will understand.
Forget waiting, I will take the pills now. I will have my answers, or there is nothing after this life. Either way, my sleepless nights are over. I am happy.
Answers(Jason Sonnichsen)
Another late night, maybe a sleepless one. Too many things on my mind, no time for anything else. I need some answers. I knowingly waste my days and nights away trying to discover answers to questions that may have no answers.
Do I have the freedom of choice, or is my path predetermined? Do I make a difference in my surroundings? What can answer these questions for me? Not science. So, what other path is there? I wonder........ I’ve watched others float through life, never asking. They seem happier than I am. The religious people are given answers with no proof, and they believe through faith, and I pity them; or maybe I am jealous. I have so many theories, but which should I believe in?
The only thing that I can live with is that I will get all my answers when I die. The reason that I can live with that is because it is the only way that I can get an answer with proof. Because if there is life after death, then it will be a divine experience. I have waited for a divine experience in this life, but it hasn’t happened; I don’t even know if I believe in God. I have written these words on a paper “I can’t wait any longer for the answers.” I will attach it to my chest.
I sit here in my room, where I do my best thinking, and wait for Him to intervene, but I know he won’t. I grow tired of waiting, I am anxious. I know my family and friends will be upset, but I hope they will understand.
Forget waiting, I will take the pills now. I will have my answers, or there is nothing after this life. Either way, my sleepless nights are over. I am happy.
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Shelly Garrod
10/13/2022Well that is definitely something to ponder over. Great piece Jason.
Shelly
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Jason James Parker
12/02/2019A shock ending there, Jason. Concisely written and certainly some very poignant subject matter.
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