Blissful Insomnia.(indi) Blissful Insomnia.

Sleep… sounds mundane doesn’t it? A normal period of unconsciousness which repeats with monotonous regularity. Day in and of course day out. Sleep is probably something that you take for granted; assume that every 11 hours you will feel that blissfully overwhelming need for sleep and then wake up the next morning without a second thought for even that bizarre trippy dream that you had woken up to moments ago right?

Well, I have long been unaware of what that is like.
Long since the accident have I been without the need for sleep. I'll be that sounds awesome, I'll bet you’re feeling a little envy, a little bit jealous?
Understandable, but you need not. For seventeen years now I have not needed sleep, or so my body tells me, my brain on the other hand, is another story.

264 hours or 11 days average, that’s how long a person has been found to be able to survive beyond sleep. I have gone without for 148923, 26 and 12 seconds. Right about now you are probably in awe. So would I be. But it’s not fun. It is not a superpower. at night I don’t develop any superpowers, I’m not super smart and I don’t have lightening reflexes.

As a matter of fact, I am slowly going insane. Any normal person would start to lose their faculties after about one and a half nights of no sleep. I started to lose it about a week ago so by that logic the death of my sanity is 6191 days overdue.
That said, things are pretty trippy, I mean I have hardly left the house in 10 years, my cocoon of solitude is the only place I feel any kind of piece, sanity. I haven’t seen my friends or family in about 11 years, and I’m not even sure they know I’m alive. I can’t leave my house. I have no power, looks like I was cut off. It used to bother me but now I just see better in the dark…
I have periods where I come two in my bathroom, no memory of what I was doing, how I got into my bathroom, or indeed how I got covered in blood or how I got the cuts all up my arms, legs and belly.

This sounds a little disturbing doesn’t it.
Can’t blame you reader, you are probably sane, In control. You even probably have periods of sleep. where the difference between dreams and reality is clearly defined. In my world, there is no difference. I don’t know if I am dreaming or if I just took a massive batch of speed one day and it is yet to wear off. I mean count yourself lucky that when you go outside even at night, the world is there, around you, where it is meant to be. Functional, ever-changing and seemingly eternal. In my world, when I stepped outside my front door last, I saw nothing, I was standing on nothing and I heard nothing. It’s just nothing, numb, like my heart, my brain. Numb and void.

I have seen no one in about 10 years. I’d like to see how you fair when insanity comes knocking on your door. Because for all I know it could be you next.
When reality starts to sink into obscurity, when you start to see less and less of the outside world, the people in it, the people you love, when you fade into insanity, come a’knockin'. I’ll be here, waiting for you.

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