My times are in your hands.

I should have left him by himself, my new man. He was fine without me. Infact he did not need me as I needed him. It was my new vice after marriage to lionel. I got overwhelmed with a sudden desire to be a lover and not just a human beign.
Don't get me wrong it was the orientation I got from him. Lionel was a very passionate man. When we quarrelled he could not get over the issue so easily, it was heartwarming.

He once said to me.

Coming home to you every day is a blessing.
I learnt about him everything what he likes to eat and spent weekends working on cooking for him.
I virtually studied my husband to be able to cook for him.

And guess what it worked.
He did not mind that I was always busy with chores going here and there, he liked me that way.


I then had to deal with something the void I feel about our love being purposeless. About a certain emptiness. How we were slowly becoming brother and sister and when he tried father and daughter.
It hurt endlessly.
I had to deal with that.


But that wasn't all, he started cheating. I also noticed he had many secrets. Whilst he scolded me about my friends and their gifts, like the Nike bag.
I wondered why the double standards and love waned so I turned to my job my studies and my dreams.



My new man it is kind of worship. I have to be honest, it is worship, I virtually worship this man, my whole heart, everything in worship of this man. A sign which I say Amen to. My barreness became a thing of the past. Which is a blessing to say the least.
We are birds of a feather in that we are in the same course so it is a glorious union.
I am overjoyed.
Sadly we aren't getting married. You see, we are not going to tie the nuptials. The reason is, I have to stay in the shadows because of his status. I know he loves me. I love him too.
I love him more than words can say, cos he has been my life before I embraced it fully by coming over to visit him.


Staying in the shadows is compulsory, but we visit from time to time, chat, send messages etc. I love him dearly.


Don't get me wrong. Am not embarrassed about my life. About not being exactly one of the richest only just successful. Or famous or glamourous am beautiful so why do I need to bother about all that. I have gotten a death threat before. From my husband and from my step dad so you now understand.
Lol...


I have made up my mind to continue to relate with him, whichever way it is. I love him and can't really do without thinking of him, in a day. A day I don't wake up dreaming of my man. Is not a day. He has lots of women which upset me initially but not now. I am not so bothered by it anymore, I just see it as a cross I have to bear.


I have given up on other projects, some of them like fostering my career, I have given up on all of that and faced my guy.


I continue with my life. I have withdrawn myself from other activities. Like public posting. Etc.
I had like six websites, two blogs. There I spend time. Blogging etc.

One of my sites is a matchmaking site where we give you trivias to meet your match. I have lots of friends all over the world.



Some of my websites and popular websites to find me and my apps.


www.thimbletorn.com
www.marshedmellons.com


Then websites to find my apps.


Harveygrey.com.
Bartsimpson.com/code262.


Its all about me.

You won't find me on these sites.

www.godemon.com.
www.littlethorn.com


Am proud of that.

I told my husband to forgive me but not a sight afterall we were not already married. I said to him, on behalf of the family I just want you to forgive me. You are the most lovable man in the world you are even more lovable than the man I happen to love.

He sent me back where are you? I got scared. I was out of the country at the time. And don't plan to go back home. He did not sound calm too eager to know where I was honestly am scared for my life. I still am. I wrote to my mum and she sent me letter.

So that's it. How was it.

I wrote was great, am sorry mum but am happy.

She wrote back finally happy. Now we have your husband on our hands.

I said mum, forget everything, just think about the fact that now am happy.

Thank God. Don't go back to switzerland.

I said what yes mum I know my husband and I are history.

Yes he is a dangerous man.

That was it.