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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Love stories / Romance
- Subject: Relationships
- Published: 08/06/2017
Mr Pooters Diary - the missing pages
Born 1948, M, from Kent - garden of England, United KingdomThe diary of a Nobody,
or 'Mr Pooters Diary - The missing pages!'
Sept 9th.
Today I had occasion to pass through Soho on my way to the Tottenham Court Road. Mr Perkupp had required me to deliver some important papers to an address in Shaftsbury Avenue and had kindly allowed me to finish early for home, after the delivery. I had intended to look at paint and wall paper, as Carrie says she is looking for improvements in the bedroom.
A recently opened emporium caught my eye, the proprietress of which is apparently a Miss Annie Winter. It appears to be a 'boutique' for the fashionable lady, which, from my quick furtive glance through the half open door, supplies female garments of a personal nature, and various other curious trinkets. A small gift for Carrie might be procured here. I shall give it some thought.
Sept 17th.
Our small gathering at home last evening was a great success, starting with a rubber of cards and then with Mr Gowing singing in fine voice, as he was accompanied by Carrie on our new pianoforte, along with Mr Cumming on the banjo, together performing several works by Mr Gilbert and Mr Sullivan. The lights of our chandelier glistened on Cumming's bald pate as he played his instrument with vigor. Our neighbours next door also enjoyed the performance it seems, showing their appreciation by knocking loudly on the parlour wall at every song. I must find a little something to present to Carrie to show my own appreciation of her splendid performance.
Sept 18th
Today I visited Miss Annie Winters Soho emporium, in order to purchase a small gift for Carrie. Along with undergarments of varied style and bright colour, which I thought might be much too brash for Carrie, an interesting collection of other products was on display, none of which I had ever seen the like of before. The female taste for the obscure 'latest thing' being what it is, I took Miss Winters kind advice, and from her, purchased a new French invention which she assured me will give Carrie much pleasure and satisfaction to own. I have no idea what it is, but I am sure Carrie will be delighted to be 'en vogue', as it were.
Sept 19th
This morning I had risen early, but Carrie was still fast asleep, so I got up from my bed and satisfied myself while thinking of the delight she will get from her new gift when she receives it. I unpacked it carefully and assembled it before breakfast. It is a curious item which I suppose is used in the preparation of food, I can think of no other use, it having a thick vibrating rod about eight inches long and being worked by a small reciprocating steam engine. This cucumber shaped implement is connected to its water boiler by a long flexible tube. The boiler is arranged to be fitted to the gas light mantle which will heat it to provide the steam. It is the latest thing, said Miss Winter, and only takes half an hour or so to become steamed up enough to function fully. I cannot wait to see Carrie's face when she uses it the first time. I hope to be giving it to her first thing on Sunday morning, before Church.
Sept 20th
I showed the new French item to Cumming and Gowing this morning. We experimented with it in the parlour whilst Carrie was out visiting her sister. They both exchanged silly jokes about Carrie getting steamed up and being 'on the boil' when she receives her present. I sometimes think that both Cumming and Gowing are rather course chaps. As I plunged the vibrating rod into Carrie's strawberry compote, in demonstration of its use, I noticed them exchanging knowing winks, smiles and nudges. I believe they think they know more about the gadget than I do!
Cumming, who seems to be somewhat of an enthusiast for steam power, insisted that it will need plenty of lubricant, judging by the fast vibrations of the shaft. I showed him it could be easily adjusted to just a slow deep throb by reducing the pressure. For some reason they both found this most hilarious.
Sept 21st
Showed the gadget to the cook today. She seemed taken by the heavily studded India rubber tip attachment, which we discovered could fully juice lemons in an instance, or produce silky cream very quickly. Most excited by this new appliance, cook intimated that such a device would be more than welcome in the kitchen and would see much use by her and the maid in working up soufle's in their pantry area.
This evening the Heath-Robinson family dropped in for an hour. Whilst the two ladies chatted together I took young William and his father into my confidence and let them see the French tool. William, a bit of a child artist it seems, had many interesting ideas for it's possible other uses, which he illustrated in his sketch book. The boy is very inventive and has a good imagination, I am sure he will go far in whatever career he chooses. It is quite unbelievable what he can do with a few cotton reels, some string and common household bits and bobs, a very creative boy, but a little too proper in manner for a child in my opinion. Rather a stiff Willie, if still only small, I thought.
Sept 22nd
Mrs James of Sutton visited today, a lady who is very much 'a la mode' and always brings such joy to Carrie. She dresses well and often has a bag of new fashionable clothes and novelties with her, to amuse them both. I used to feel that she might be a bad influence on my wife, with her extravagant ways, but I can also see that she is sweet and caring in the way that she gives comfort to her. She and Carrie always get on so well, and today spent hours in the bedroom together, 'trying this and that' as Carrie put it. It is nice to feel that Carrie has such strong links and enjoyable bondage with her lady friend. I would hate to feel that she is ever tied down in the house and under the crop, so to speak, without me understanding her needs.
Sept 23 rd
I presented Carrie with her little gift today. It was a pleasure to see her eyes light up as she gently removed it from the box, she blushed and actually kissed me, almost with some affection I thought! Such silly displays need to be controled of course, so I returned a very small peck on her cheek and proceeded to brush my hat and morning coat down before Church. Carrie showed no embarassment at her immodest emotional outburst however, and went to ready herself for the morning service.
The Rev. Lashing will today be giving a sermon on the need for chastisement in society. I suddenly thought of a little joke - Lashing will be whipping up the congregation today! A neat quip, almost worthy of Mr Wilde himself! I decided to tell it to Gowing at Church this morning, Feeling it is a little too 'risque' for Carrie.
Our maid, Sarah, brought a note to me from Carrie asking if we might miss Church just this once, as she had not been feeling herself when she awoke. I decided to go alone as I really wished to try my new 'bon mot' on Gowing. One must strike while the iron is hot in my opinion.
Gowing turned out to be absent, but the Vicar was in good form, although his sermon was a little long at three hours.
Sept 30th
I have had a sleepless night. I returned home from Church early yesterday afternoon to find the house shrouded in the mists of steam, so much so that the stained glass panel of the front door (a fine rendition of the Golden Hind in full sail) was streaming with moisture. Gowing was just leaving, he made quick appologies as he pushed past at the door. 'I am going, Pooter,' he said, but of course I knew that, he is an old friend. He rushed down the path and out into the street.
There was no sign of Carrie or Sarah downstairs so I made my way up to the landing to call coo'ee.
I could hear muffled sounds from the bedroom, seemingly creaks from the bed, and light groans with the occasional womanly giggle. I knocked on the door politely and entered. A strange sight met my eyes. A hot steaming mist wafted across the ceiling, and the corners of damp wallpaper sheets were curling down from below the cornice. Sarah was bouncing about on the bed, beads of sweat running down her silky white skin. Carrie stood astride at the foot of the bed gasping and giving small loud moans which sounded like 'Yes!'. She was also, like Sarah, completely naked, a state in which I have never witnessed her before. There seemed to be a large lump in the bed which was the centre of attention of the two women. Seen from behind, Carrie seemed to be squating on a pink balloon. 'I'm Cumming, I'm Cumming!' squealed the balloon, and suddenly, it all made sense.
My friends had obviously dropped in and found Carrie and Sarah starting to strip the wallpaper from the bedroom walls. They had kindly offered to help. The steam from the French gadget had made the room unbearably hot and so they had disrobed to cope with the heat and moist atmosphere. Sarah was even now bouncing up and down to catch the edge of the wallpaper, getting added height by sitting astride Cumming, and Carrie was supporting her from an awkward but very efficient position and encouraging her with her shouts. I excused myself as I have never enjoyed this type of work, and went down to make a refreshing cup of tea and read the news paper.
I sat down with just one thought - It had been an unusually boring sermon really.
Oct 2nd
All the exertions she made in the bedroom proved quite too much for Carrie. Although she enjoys the stripping off and obviously knows how to get down to it, she now looks exhausted after two full days of hot activity. She tells me the French tool has done sterling work in our 'boudoir', apparently operating much more efficiently than I could ever manage, so I stand corrected on its designed use. Why did I ever think it was for stirring?
Carrie has offered to show me it working as intended, on the parlour table she suggested, should I ever feel so inclined.
To give her a complete rest I have now employed Mr Hampton, known locally as Dick the decorator, to help fulfill all Carrie's desires. He implied he may need her to give him a hand now and again, although he say's it will need rather more than a 'lick and a promise'. He apparently has a wide knowledge of what is needed in the Victorian bedroom, and seems to be a popular chap, having his own transport. He looks forward to being able to work behind Carrie to ensure her an excellent and exciting finish. I am told that his experience of pleasing the ladies in our local vicinity is second to none.
Oct 3rd
Carrie has been called away urgently for a few days. She left me a note saying that Hampton had offered to go with her to provide a ride and any other services she might need while away. She says she will not be in need of the French implement, so asked me to pass it on to the cook, just in case she or Sarah felt the need for it. I admire her for being so willing to share her unusual gifts with anyone.
I have settled myself down with the family account book for my own amusement while Carrie is away, otherwise It seems I will just have to satisfy myself with the attentions of Sarah and the cook for a few days, or share a rubber or two with Cumming or going.
Why does the life of a humble clerk have to be so boring?
Copyright - Ken DaSilva-Hill 2017
All intellectual rights retained.
Reproduction in any form only with
full permission of the author.
Mr Pooters Diary - the missing pages(Ken DaSilva-Hill)
The diary of a Nobody,
or 'Mr Pooters Diary - The missing pages!'
Sept 9th.
Today I had occasion to pass through Soho on my way to the Tottenham Court Road. Mr Perkupp had required me to deliver some important papers to an address in Shaftsbury Avenue and had kindly allowed me to finish early for home, after the delivery. I had intended to look at paint and wall paper, as Carrie says she is looking for improvements in the bedroom.
A recently opened emporium caught my eye, the proprietress of which is apparently a Miss Annie Winter. It appears to be a 'boutique' for the fashionable lady, which, from my quick furtive glance through the half open door, supplies female garments of a personal nature, and various other curious trinkets. A small gift for Carrie might be procured here. I shall give it some thought.
Sept 17th.
Our small gathering at home last evening was a great success, starting with a rubber of cards and then with Mr Gowing singing in fine voice, as he was accompanied by Carrie on our new pianoforte, along with Mr Cumming on the banjo, together performing several works by Mr Gilbert and Mr Sullivan. The lights of our chandelier glistened on Cumming's bald pate as he played his instrument with vigor. Our neighbours next door also enjoyed the performance it seems, showing their appreciation by knocking loudly on the parlour wall at every song. I must find a little something to present to Carrie to show my own appreciation of her splendid performance.
Sept 18th
Today I visited Miss Annie Winters Soho emporium, in order to purchase a small gift for Carrie. Along with undergarments of varied style and bright colour, which I thought might be much too brash for Carrie, an interesting collection of other products was on display, none of which I had ever seen the like of before. The female taste for the obscure 'latest thing' being what it is, I took Miss Winters kind advice, and from her, purchased a new French invention which she assured me will give Carrie much pleasure and satisfaction to own. I have no idea what it is, but I am sure Carrie will be delighted to be 'en vogue', as it were.
Sept 19th
This morning I had risen early, but Carrie was still fast asleep, so I got up from my bed and satisfied myself while thinking of the delight she will get from her new gift when she receives it. I unpacked it carefully and assembled it before breakfast. It is a curious item which I suppose is used in the preparation of food, I can think of no other use, it having a thick vibrating rod about eight inches long and being worked by a small reciprocating steam engine. This cucumber shaped implement is connected to its water boiler by a long flexible tube. The boiler is arranged to be fitted to the gas light mantle which will heat it to provide the steam. It is the latest thing, said Miss Winter, and only takes half an hour or so to become steamed up enough to function fully. I cannot wait to see Carrie's face when she uses it the first time. I hope to be giving it to her first thing on Sunday morning, before Church.
Sept 20th
I showed the new French item to Cumming and Gowing this morning. We experimented with it in the parlour whilst Carrie was out visiting her sister. They both exchanged silly jokes about Carrie getting steamed up and being 'on the boil' when she receives her present. I sometimes think that both Cumming and Gowing are rather course chaps. As I plunged the vibrating rod into Carrie's strawberry compote, in demonstration of its use, I noticed them exchanging knowing winks, smiles and nudges. I believe they think they know more about the gadget than I do!
Cumming, who seems to be somewhat of an enthusiast for steam power, insisted that it will need plenty of lubricant, judging by the fast vibrations of the shaft. I showed him it could be easily adjusted to just a slow deep throb by reducing the pressure. For some reason they both found this most hilarious.
Sept 21st
Showed the gadget to the cook today. She seemed taken by the heavily studded India rubber tip attachment, which we discovered could fully juice lemons in an instance, or produce silky cream very quickly. Most excited by this new appliance, cook intimated that such a device would be more than welcome in the kitchen and would see much use by her and the maid in working up soufle's in their pantry area.
This evening the Heath-Robinson family dropped in for an hour. Whilst the two ladies chatted together I took young William and his father into my confidence and let them see the French tool. William, a bit of a child artist it seems, had many interesting ideas for it's possible other uses, which he illustrated in his sketch book. The boy is very inventive and has a good imagination, I am sure he will go far in whatever career he chooses. It is quite unbelievable what he can do with a few cotton reels, some string and common household bits and bobs, a very creative boy, but a little too proper in manner for a child in my opinion. Rather a stiff Willie, if still only small, I thought.
Sept 22nd
Mrs James of Sutton visited today, a lady who is very much 'a la mode' and always brings such joy to Carrie. She dresses well and often has a bag of new fashionable clothes and novelties with her, to amuse them both. I used to feel that she might be a bad influence on my wife, with her extravagant ways, but I can also see that she is sweet and caring in the way that she gives comfort to her. She and Carrie always get on so well, and today spent hours in the bedroom together, 'trying this and that' as Carrie put it. It is nice to feel that Carrie has such strong links and enjoyable bondage with her lady friend. I would hate to feel that she is ever tied down in the house and under the crop, so to speak, without me understanding her needs.
Sept 23 rd
I presented Carrie with her little gift today. It was a pleasure to see her eyes light up as she gently removed it from the box, she blushed and actually kissed me, almost with some affection I thought! Such silly displays need to be controled of course, so I returned a very small peck on her cheek and proceeded to brush my hat and morning coat down before Church. Carrie showed no embarassment at her immodest emotional outburst however, and went to ready herself for the morning service.
The Rev. Lashing will today be giving a sermon on the need for chastisement in society. I suddenly thought of a little joke - Lashing will be whipping up the congregation today! A neat quip, almost worthy of Mr Wilde himself! I decided to tell it to Gowing at Church this morning, Feeling it is a little too 'risque' for Carrie.
Our maid, Sarah, brought a note to me from Carrie asking if we might miss Church just this once, as she had not been feeling herself when she awoke. I decided to go alone as I really wished to try my new 'bon mot' on Gowing. One must strike while the iron is hot in my opinion.
Gowing turned out to be absent, but the Vicar was in good form, although his sermon was a little long at three hours.
Sept 30th
I have had a sleepless night. I returned home from Church early yesterday afternoon to find the house shrouded in the mists of steam, so much so that the stained glass panel of the front door (a fine rendition of the Golden Hind in full sail) was streaming with moisture. Gowing was just leaving, he made quick appologies as he pushed past at the door. 'I am going, Pooter,' he said, but of course I knew that, he is an old friend. He rushed down the path and out into the street.
There was no sign of Carrie or Sarah downstairs so I made my way up to the landing to call coo'ee.
I could hear muffled sounds from the bedroom, seemingly creaks from the bed, and light groans with the occasional womanly giggle. I knocked on the door politely and entered. A strange sight met my eyes. A hot steaming mist wafted across the ceiling, and the corners of damp wallpaper sheets were curling down from below the cornice. Sarah was bouncing about on the bed, beads of sweat running down her silky white skin. Carrie stood astride at the foot of the bed gasping and giving small loud moans which sounded like 'Yes!'. She was also, like Sarah, completely naked, a state in which I have never witnessed her before. There seemed to be a large lump in the bed which was the centre of attention of the two women. Seen from behind, Carrie seemed to be squating on a pink balloon. 'I'm Cumming, I'm Cumming!' squealed the balloon, and suddenly, it all made sense.
My friends had obviously dropped in and found Carrie and Sarah starting to strip the wallpaper from the bedroom walls. They had kindly offered to help. The steam from the French gadget had made the room unbearably hot and so they had disrobed to cope with the heat and moist atmosphere. Sarah was even now bouncing up and down to catch the edge of the wallpaper, getting added height by sitting astride Cumming, and Carrie was supporting her from an awkward but very efficient position and encouraging her with her shouts. I excused myself as I have never enjoyed this type of work, and went down to make a refreshing cup of tea and read the news paper.
I sat down with just one thought - It had been an unusually boring sermon really.
Oct 2nd
All the exertions she made in the bedroom proved quite too much for Carrie. Although she enjoys the stripping off and obviously knows how to get down to it, she now looks exhausted after two full days of hot activity. She tells me the French tool has done sterling work in our 'boudoir', apparently operating much more efficiently than I could ever manage, so I stand corrected on its designed use. Why did I ever think it was for stirring?
Carrie has offered to show me it working as intended, on the parlour table she suggested, should I ever feel so inclined.
To give her a complete rest I have now employed Mr Hampton, known locally as Dick the decorator, to help fulfill all Carrie's desires. He implied he may need her to give him a hand now and again, although he say's it will need rather more than a 'lick and a promise'. He apparently has a wide knowledge of what is needed in the Victorian bedroom, and seems to be a popular chap, having his own transport. He looks forward to being able to work behind Carrie to ensure her an excellent and exciting finish. I am told that his experience of pleasing the ladies in our local vicinity is second to none.
Oct 3rd
Carrie has been called away urgently for a few days. She left me a note saying that Hampton had offered to go with her to provide a ride and any other services she might need while away. She says she will not be in need of the French implement, so asked me to pass it on to the cook, just in case she or Sarah felt the need for it. I admire her for being so willing to share her unusual gifts with anyone.
I have settled myself down with the family account book for my own amusement while Carrie is away, otherwise It seems I will just have to satisfy myself with the attentions of Sarah and the cook for a few days, or share a rubber or two with Cumming or going.
Why does the life of a humble clerk have to be so boring?
Copyright - Ken DaSilva-Hill 2017
All intellectual rights retained.
Reproduction in any form only with
full permission of the author.
Lillian Kazmierczak
12/30/2021That was hysterical to say the least! I laughed the whole way through. Much different then what I have read so far. It was very well written and very enjoyable! Thank you for sharing your humor.
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
Ken DaSilva-Hill
12/31/2021Hi, Lillian, thank you for your kind comments on my stories, I appreciate it and am glad that they are bringing a little joy during these difficult times,
I have written a story just for you ‘The Charing Miller’ set in our lovely and ancient village. There has been a settlement here for well over two thousand years, and nothing has materially changed for the last two hundred, walking through the village one is seeing exactly what would have been seen in the eighteenth century. Our church is over nine hundred years old, and the Archbishops Palace was the favourite home of Thomas Becket, who was late murdered in Canterbury cathedral, by followers of the King.
My stories are often set in and around the local Kentish villages, and have much factual content, so I claim to write ‘Faction’ rather than fiction. Some of my work can be heard on the net by the way, narrated by Darren Mylar on ‘weird Darkness’. Anyway, The Charing Miller is for you, so I hope that you will enjoy it over a coffee, which sadly, because I imagine that you are USA based, we cannot share together. Enjoy!
Ken x
Ps. If you ever find yourself in Charing, I will be happy to show you around and introduce you to our more unusual stuff, which most folk miss.
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