And now I am dead.(Kevin Hughes) And now I am dead.

I know. I know. I know. It happens to everyone, but you have to admit it has more meaning when it is you who has done the dying. At least that is how I felt. Well actually, the first thing you feel is …light. Not light like Angels and the Glory of God or any other story of light and tunnel you were taught. Nope.

You fell light, as in weightlessness, or freedom from any kind of baggage you might have carried for some imagined sin, slight, or slip up in your life. All of that is gone in an instant. You don’t judge yourself any more, in any way, nor do you have any attachment to regret, shame, guilt, or remorse. You are light. All your burdens both emotional and physical are gone. Especially pleasing is not carrying around that heavy needy sack of flesh you used to be so proud of.

Oh you know you are you- and a little speck of Space-Time folds itself into some shape that resembles a human form the way a tesseract resembles a square…something in common but what?

So that is your first set of feelings. Being light, being transformed, being forgiven of all things. It is truly enlightening. (Sorry for the pun, but old Human Body habits do take a while to shrug off…or so I am told by the Tesseracts floating nearby.) Then the second thing hits you…and you are gobsmacked by it.

You can see every human all at one time. Yep. All seven billion four hundred sixty three million two hundred eighty six thousand four hundred and ten of them…oops eleven..oops twelve…well you get the picture. They look like little crystal cocoons holding all their dreams, feelings, desires, hopes, and loves. You can see each and every one of them. It is mind boggling, hence the gobsmacked look on your now tesseracted face.

Nearby shapes inform you that you see both Humanity and Humans- at the same time. It is disorienting to say the least, because the best (and worst) of both are on display. You can even see the shifting of huge amounts of thoughts as they sway between becoming Authoritarian in Nature, or more mellow. It is like watching surging waves wash over the crystal cocoons, some untouched by being engulfed by a wave of Nationalism, Patriotism, or Populism, others the wave seeps in and darkness the Crystal.

Same with Kindness, tolerance, understanding, and the desire for diversity, it too, washes over the Crystal Cocoons of Humanity, leaving some humans untouched, unmoving and unmoved. But others are filled with that wave as it washes over them, leaving them open to new ideas, different schools of thought, and inclusion of all. It takes a while to turn your attention away from the rippling show of lapping moods licking over humanity. And humans. And that is when the third thing hits you.

You can’t do a thing about it, but watch. Marley the Ghost had it right. You have to be alive to take part in those surging flows of the best and worst of Humanity and humans war with each other in towering waves of time. But you don’t watch with pain, just mere curiosity. Will Humans succeed? Will Humanity Progress? Will love win out over hate? You don’t know. Apparently, neither do they.

Just when you settle into your new existence you get the fourth and final thing to hit you.

You aren’t alone. Nor will you ever be again. For all thoughts are open to you, and yours to everyone else. Because all the baggage stays behind - on Earth- you are free from any burden to have meant something, been someone, or done something of note. You have (for many of us, for the first time) accepted yourself and your life, as it was. As you lived it. And you admire its beauty. Now that you don’t have to care for it, you find yourself at peace.

When I was alive, I thought that “Heaven” was where you went to worship God and adore him. Nope. Heaven is knowing you did your best with that body during that time on Earth. Knowing that all is forgiven now. Knowing that what you called “Evil” only exists on Earth. Up here, among the light almost formless tesseracts, all that matters is that you belong. You are welcomed. You have no needs, you have no wants, you have no power to interact with the Life you left behind.

You are free. There are no more misunderstandings, no more self righteous proclamations, no more seeking validation, glory, success, power, or stuff…all those trappings of having made it, are gone. You made it. Oh you still grow and learn, I mean, after the shock of those four things banging up against your reality - all in a row, you reach a strange place. A calm place. A place where all the stories of the forms around you seep into your form- as you become one among many, but separate. Something a Human, or Humanity could never experience. Yet.

And so you watch the ebb and flow of Life on Earth. Content to know you were there, and are now here. Your first thought becomes your last thought about it all:

“And now I am dead.”

And you can finally live.

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