Sometimes a story comes from a simple thought, a memory, or an experience. This one comes from three separate thoughts I had…I jotted them down on a post it note. Here they are : “You never died. Big Bang. Dips and peaks.” That’s all. From that humble beginning came this story.
I was disoriented as all get out. Where was I? Where is this place? Am I dead? Where’s my body? Wait…my body? Holy crap! WHERE IS MY BODY?
“Shh…shh…calm down for a second. Please?”
The voice was so soothing, so sweet, so…so…gentle- I did calm down. A little.
“Okay. But where is my body?”
“Right where you left it.“
Even in my confused state, I caught the smile in that voice, the implied joke too.
“Where did I leave it?”
“On Earth. Right now I believe it is being taken from the Hospital to the Morgue. Do you want to see it?”
Her question (don’t ask me why I thought it was a “she” - but that is what it sounded like to me…a woman) stunned me. I didn’t have any eyes, ears, nose or mouth, so how in the heck was I talking with this…this…whatever. I did want to see my body though, although I had no idea how I was supposed to “look” at it.
“Yes. I would like to see it. Is that possible?”
She (he, it…whatever) laughed again. I could hear the laughter in her voice, with no idea of where that voice was coming from, or how it could be heard. If you find that confusing, imagine for a second you were me- yeah, see? It sucks.
“Dear boy." (again, it had to be female- “Dear Boy” came out like a pet name for a loved one- a rush of teenage crush bubbled up inside of me. She could call me “Dear Boy” all she wanted. It made me warm, dizzy, loved.
“Dear Boy, you are in the Quantum World now, not the physical World of the Big Bang and matter with all those silly laws and restrictions. Anything is possible here…and everything too. Now, look!”
She pointed. I followed her fingers. Okay, there were no fingers, and she had no arm to point with, but the essence of a finger pointing was there- I followed that essence. There it was. My body. Limp, gray, empty, like an old eel left to rot next to a stream. Just a blob of matter with no life force in it. It wasn’t me anymore. Me was now here, not there. I lost it for a few seconds.
“Are you okay? Dear Boy, are you alright?”
I nodded. Quite the trick when you don’t have a body anymore. She saw it. I felt the relief in her voice.
“Good. It is a shock to see matter for the first time. Especially if that pile of goop used to be your body.“
Funnily enough, as insulting as her words were, they rang true. It was just a pile of goop. I saw it for what it really is, a vessel, a container, a jar. Empty now. No longer needed. Compost. I laughed out loud. I heard her voice echo my laughter too.
“Dust unto dust…” I muttered.
“How true.” She replied with one of those whimsical smiles that you feel but can’t see.
She continued on “talking” with me, to me, at me, through me…you make the call.
"The Quantum world you live in now has very little to do with matter. In time, you will think of matter as “quaint”, then it will fade from your mind completely. It happens to us all.”
You could have knocked me over with a quark. (Where the hell did that thought come from? Shouldn’t it be a feather? I mean, I thought it was a feather.) I could feel/hear her laugh yet again.
“Quark is more likely. (I swear her voice formed a moue in my head…er..um…uh…whatever) Or more precisely - probable.“
She laughed again. I joined in. This was starting to be fun.
“Good, the transition is working. Already you are letting go of physical forms, thoughts, your limits to a body in the physical world life. Dear Boy, that is wonderful.”
I thought I would marry that voice if I could. A moment later I felt a shared thrill, like someone threw a bucket full of loving kindness over me, then wrapped a towel of passion, connection, and deep feelings over that to keep it in. I shuddered with pleasure, comfort, and safety.
“Thank you for that, Dear Boy, I love you too.”
“What was that?!” (If I was alive in that pile of goop, I would have fluffed up my pillow, lit a cigarette, and pulled her to my shoulder with one of her legs sprawled over the top of both of mine. It felt that good.)
“Oh, you just married me. It was wonderful. Thank you.”
Okay, now I was bewildered beyond belief. I started to lose it again. Before I could lose it, I felt her hand thingy (you know, the “essence of a hand”) pull me close to her bosom- there was a word I thought I would never use in my lifetime. But since I was dead, I guess it fits.
I relaxed. Two lovers snuggled in a tangle having pillow talk- without, well, bodies, a bed, or pillows. None of which bothered me at all.
“No. Thank YOU!”
A jolt of joy shot through me- her pleasure at giving apparent in every ounce of the rebound of emotions my short “Thank you” had given her. You have to be dead to feel that much life.
She spent the next eternity, hour, or lifetime, more accurately, all three - explaining death to me. Turns out we never die. We have always existed- at least from the Big Bang on. It is going to be difficult for you sacks of goop stuck in the physical world to grasp what she told me. You will know shortly for yourselves. And I do mean shortly. You goop bags, like I was when I was “alive”- live in the physical world for a very short time. Hope you appreciate every moment of it, because you will later.
It goes like this: Everything that ever existed in this Universe was contained in the singularity that produced the Big Bang. Logically, that means every living thing already existed, only Time had to spill out enough for it to take shape. That shape was and is, matter. The essence of everything was also contained in the Big Bang - and that included Life, Intelligence, Emotion, Feelings, and all the rest of the “stuff” that emerges from matter as it interacts with the Quantum World.
Energy seeks the lowest state of existence. The lowest level it can settle down to. Guess what? That means you. And me. (Well, when I was a living goop bag). The lowest level energy can be self aware as is…animal life. Yes, Dorothy, you are not in Kansas anymore. Plants, by the way, do have “souls”, just not self awareness. That should end that debate. Human life, in the physical world of Earth, planets, gravity, stars, and water, clouds, rainbows and children’s chalk drawing on cement sidewalks, is such a tiny slice of who you really are, what the Universe really is, and what is out there, that it is almost negligible.
You live in a tiny five percent or so of what is in just this Universe. And you “live” that way because of dips in the Valleys of Quantum Mechanics. You never died. You always lived. Sometimes you sink to the lowest shell, and you live as a Human, or Dolphin, or chimp. There is the even more basic but more lovable world of Dogs…and a few cats- where you have feelings you don’t think about, you just experience them as they happen, and you are always in the Now.
When you “die”, you let go of that tiny part of reality. You climb the peaks of those ripples to raise your energy state to the Quantum world. This is where you lived before you got entangled in a dip in a valley- now you are “born again”, this time with your full set of possibilities accessible to you. No longer will you love that special someone, because everyone is a special someone. They will all love you, because you are all of them too.
Goop sacks have trouble with that concept. Limiting yourself to one person, or idea, or Faith, is a goop sack trait, not here in the Quantum World. You were always alive, partially aware, and now…you are Woke.
I have to go now. She just told me:
"Dear Boy, come here. Let them discover Life again when they die. Death is just a phase change, not anything to be afraid of. They won’t believe you. So just come here Dear Boy…now.”