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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Drama / Human Interest
- Subject: Adventure
- Published: 05/17/2019
The Emperors of two of the world’s largest empires, Tsarovia and Atlanticum, are waiting at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter and St. Jerome control entry through the Pearly Gates.
The two applicants not only must explain themselves; their fate determines what will happen to the inhabitants of their empires in the hereafter.
St. Jerome starts the proceedings where both Emperors are seated facing each other across the Table of Judgement.
St. Jerome: “Well Emperors, please introduce yourselves and tell us in one paragraph why you and your empire should be the one that should enter Heaven?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “I am a loyal and hardworking servant of my empire. I am striving to make peace in a world, which has suffered from the empire expansion ambitions and hegemony exploitations by Atlanticum. I have consolidated an ancient Empire that ruled over half the world in Asia and Europe. I have made sure that everything is shared, and that private exploitation is minimal. Many religions and races have home in my Empire. We are a model for the rest of the world!”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “I am a unique person who does everything, and everything perfectly. I am regarded by some of my people to have been sent by God. I am the only one who can make Heaven great again. I have made deals with several nations who are liberal minded like me - and who oppose Tsarovia, Dragonia and a few other corrupt, racist, facist, communist, democratic, destructive, arrogant nations. I sell weapons for good prices in great deals that benefit my family and friends, and which provide income for my banker friends for generations to come. I give the people what they want as long as they vote for me. If anyone does not vote for me or indeed speaks out against me, I am the model of tolerance.”
St. Peter told the emperors that they would be questioned separately, out of hearing of each other. St. Jerome has decided to present the answers to the same question together - so that we can understand the processes of justice and judgement at a much higher level than any earthly Supreme Court.
St. Jerome to Emperor of Tsarovia: “Which freedoms do you allow your people?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Our people are perfectly free. They are released from the burdens of slavery for a tyrannical master. They now work voluntarily for the state. They are so happy that there are never any dissidents in my empire. There is perfect freedom of the press, and disagreers are very few!”
St. Jerome: “That is very interesting because the press of the other countries implies exactly the opposite!”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “That is all invention and fake news, probably from meddling by Atlanticum! They meddle everywhere in the world where they think they are not taken seriously, or wish to extract more tribute!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Atlanticum: “Which freedoms do you allow your people?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “Our people are perfectly free. They are joyous to work hard for a company (especially to work for free for my company). They are so happy that there are never any dissidents in my Empire. There is perfect freedom of the press and disagreers are very few. Disagreers are invited to leave my Empire, they are not entitled to the freedoms of my supporters.”
St. Jerome: “That is very interesting, as the press even of your own country implies exactly the opposite.”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “That is all invention and fake news, probably from meddling by my political opponents, and hackers from the Empire of Tsarovia!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Tsarovia: “Which other nation is your greatest friend?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “The smaller nations that were once part of our empire at its greatest, are still our friends! Several of these countries thought they wanted independence from our great empire - but that was all caused by propagandic meddling by Atlanticum, and bribery by their hacker allies! More recently many leaders of these small countries have said they would like to join our Empire again.”
St. Jerome: “Is that not a result of you offering financial incentives to the leaders so that they can persuade their people to vote in your favor?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “There is no corruption in my empire. A few financial rewards are sometimes made to regional leaders - who show great progress in reunification!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Atlanticum: “Which other nation is your greatest friend?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “We have many friends across the globe who ask us for help. They ask us to place our military in their countries out of friendship. Any country which offers us their natural resources at the lowest prices, and those who help us to transport it back to Atlanticum is our friend!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Tsarovia: “Which nation is your greatest enemy?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Well Atlanticum of course. They force us to spend millions on building warcraft, which we cannot afford. But at least we can sell our used models to developing countries at exorbitant prices that mortgage those countries for centuries ahead – this way we can guarantee peace and prosperity.”
St. Jerome: “But there are voices in your country that say you spend the earnings on ‘parties for the Party’ instead of feeding the people – as your predecessors had promised.”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “It is sometimes difficult to know which are the greater troublemakers, the propagandists of Atlanticum or the few dissidents within our own country!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Atlanticum: “Which nation is your greatest enemy?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “Well Tsarovia of course. They force us to spend millions on building warcraft. However we are smart and we use weapons to bargain throughout the world. Either by selling to those with the most money, or by reminding those under our umbrella of protection that such services will cost them later much more money.”
St. Jerome: “You focus entirely on war, money, threatening and power. Why should these be qualities that permit your entry to Heaven?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “These are necessary qualities to run an empire. Maybe you losers up in Heaven should learn the myth of the deal! Giving things for free to the humble and poor is bad business. Every body in Atlanticum is here to provide the workforce for my companies and those of my supporters. That is our definition of Capitalism. The workers are here to provide capital for the wealthy!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Tsarovia: “How would you like to see the future of your empire?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Just like it used to be at our greatest time. We will go forwards, until all of the world wants to be like us. The Party will become greater and the people will be happy to serve the Party. The future of the world is the future of the Party”.
St. Jerome: “But how will you integrate those who oppose you, how do you approach those who want something else?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Those who disagree are very few. It would be best if they go somewhere else, although they are not permitted to leave – we need the workers. Happy workers is what we need – all others will become happy workers!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Atlanticum: “How would you like to see the future of your empire?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “In our Empire we are democratic. That means that whole population (demos) is there to serve the few who represent them – those elected by me. So the future means more of everything for me and about me! Those who disagree are brought into alignment by those who support me!”
St. Jerome: “And how do you deal with your opponents?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “In my daily burps, I rant and rave about those who oppose me until one of my supporters puts an opponent out of his misery. The future of my empire is me. It is the single purpose of my people to make me great again!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “How would you like to see the future of the whole earth?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “We are happy that there are other empires and nations. With time we will re-achieve the territories of our previous empire. I will become big buddies with other emperors, even the Emperor of Atlanticum will want to be my friend. We will trade with other nations, and I will tell you now that my citizens will say they are content!”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “The whole earth will be the breadbasket of Atlanticum. Not just bread of course, but any resource that we desire. We will exert our right as the Empire chosen by God, to take what is rightly ours from other nations. We will pay of course for what we take from other nations, but minimal token amounts. Most of what we pay will be used to bribe politicians and businessmen to arrange to give up what we want from their soil. It is just tough that the citizens of other countries will not benefit much from this effect. After all, the trickle-down effect only works if there is anything left to trickle down! We do not need to invade the whole world to extend our empire – we have found that bribery overseas is all we need to enforce our hegemony. It would cost me too much from my private fortune to wage war across the world! The mere threat of invasion is very effective!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Give a list of your greatest achievements.”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “We have homogenized half the cultures of the world. We have ridden our empire of the burden of variety. Everything has been simplified by the Party. We have potatoes and alcohol for everybody. We were first to conquer Antarctica and space, and land our glorious machines on the Moon, Venus and Mars.”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “We have removed more than half the cultures of the world. We have simplified our empire into a two party state. Very soon my party will be the chosen privileged one, and the others will become our servants. We have French fries and beer for everybody. We were first to land our people on the Moon, and we will soon plant our flag on Mars. The greatest achievement of all was my self-election to Emperor for life, plus the extra time I get for immortality!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Give a list of your greatest failures.”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Our Party has had no failures except a few crop harvests. Everything else functioning perfectly.”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “The only failures happened before my time in office. The press continue to make false accusations about things that go wrong. It is made clear by my devotees and my representatives that if something is wrong it is the fault of my predecessors. All the things that go well, even if they were initiated by my predecessors, were only successful because of me!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Which items would you like to change in your country?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “That any dissidents would finally accept the wishes and rules of the Party. Then we could stop persecuting them for their aggression!”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “The notion that we should waste lots of money on losers and useless people. That we should tax the rich to pay for the poor. The rich should be rewarded for being so wealthy. The poor should be driven to work harder to pay for all of the perks and payments that the homeless and unemployed have incurred. That we could export any dissidents to war zones.”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Which items would you like to keep in your country?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “The idea of an over organized society where the wishes of the many are prescribed by the privileged. Compulsory service of the youth to our military. Lifelong membership of the party where uniformity is encouraged.”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “The false notion of equality and democracy. I think it would be too disruptive to acknowledge the truth of an over organized society where the wishes of the many are prescribed by the privileged. Re-introduction of compulsory military service for the vulgar youth - exemptions of course for children of the privileged families. Lifelong membership of my political party where uniformity is encouraged.”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Why do you want to come to Heaven?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “I only represent my nation. I once told them that when we were about to start another nuclear war with Atlanticum and their hegemonic dependencies, that God was on our side. I only want to keep my promise to my people!”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “With all of the selected dead up here they must be worth a fortune! I would offer them real estate deals that are unbeatable, with infinite space, everlasting mortgages, and tremendous tax deductions for the eternally wealthy. I would reorganize heaven so that it does good business. I would of course insist on having my picture in all places of worship instead of the usual ones that clutter up the space – all of those old-fashioned biblical personalities, relicts, and you saint guys!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Why do you think you should not go to an alternative place?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Heaven has always been the destination of choice for the warriors in my empire. Hell is too tropical for most of our citizens; and the other places like Purgatory, are just too nondescript for my culture rich peoples.”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “Where I am is always Heaven. I often consider sending my opponents to Hell. Boring places like those in between are just waiting rooms for those who cannot decide!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Do you think your empire should be made smaller?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “We have defined the size of Tsarovia. For a while it became smaller, as a few small fish were persuaded by Atlanticum that they should try on their own. But slowly the ways of Tsarovia showed them the way back. Old size is right size!”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “God decided that the whole universe is territory of Atlanticum. So the size of my Empire can always grow – as long as I can make more money. I have no intention of letting the migrants displaced by war into my empire. Non-Atlanticums can apply to join us as slaves, or perhaps a few specialists. Quite soon my Empire might replace Heaven, and you Jerome might consider where you might want to go then!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Are there parts of your empire that do not agree with your policies, what are you doing about them?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “A few ethic minorities want independence without ever calculating the cost. These small groups could never pay for themselves when trying to operate alone. One possibility would be to grant them their independence without financing, and let them find out for themselves!”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “The south of my empire is the land of the free and God’s selected country. Several of the northern cities have not yet seen the wisdom of my ways, but the southern spirit is creeping their way. Hopefully violent acts in some of these places will encourage them to accept my values and my ways. For I have just written an executive order that I will reign for eternity. I am not really interested in your Heaven with your rituals, but I would make a deal about staying out of your hair forever - in exchange for immortality!”
St. Peter and St. Jerome took the matter to be decided to the Heavenly Council, while the Heavenly Choir entertained the two emperors. After an instant of Heavenly Time, or an eternity of Earth Time, the two Councillors returned.
St. Peter addressed the two: “The Heavenly Council finds that neither of you are worthy of Heaven. The Council is of the opinion that both of you misled and mistreated your peoples. Moreover the Council thinks that you have both consistently lied to your subjects, and blamed the other empire for your own misdoings and shortcomings. Your propaganda images at home are both very similar and heavily manipulated, despite you pleading enormous differences. They totally misrepresent your actions and role in the world!“
“Neither of you are worthy as individuals to enter heaven, and have put your empires in unworthy positions. The Council has decided to send you both to Purgatory until you improve your ratings. Until your next personal Judgement Day, your Empires will be managed by a Council of Mixed Representation. Do you have anything to say?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Are you not concerned that I will not try to convert those in Purgatory to the philosophy of my Party?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “Go to Hell!”
Emperors At The Pearly Gates(Alan Bruce)
The Emperors of two of the world’s largest empires, Tsarovia and Atlanticum, are waiting at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter and St. Jerome control entry through the Pearly Gates.
The two applicants not only must explain themselves; their fate determines what will happen to the inhabitants of their empires in the hereafter.
St. Jerome starts the proceedings where both Emperors are seated facing each other across the Table of Judgement.
St. Jerome: “Well Emperors, please introduce yourselves and tell us in one paragraph why you and your empire should be the one that should enter Heaven?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “I am a loyal and hardworking servant of my empire. I am striving to make peace in a world, which has suffered from the empire expansion ambitions and hegemony exploitations by Atlanticum. I have consolidated an ancient Empire that ruled over half the world in Asia and Europe. I have made sure that everything is shared, and that private exploitation is minimal. Many religions and races have home in my Empire. We are a model for the rest of the world!”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “I am a unique person who does everything, and everything perfectly. I am regarded by some of my people to have been sent by God. I am the only one who can make Heaven great again. I have made deals with several nations who are liberal minded like me - and who oppose Tsarovia, Dragonia and a few other corrupt, racist, facist, communist, democratic, destructive, arrogant nations. I sell weapons for good prices in great deals that benefit my family and friends, and which provide income for my banker friends for generations to come. I give the people what they want as long as they vote for me. If anyone does not vote for me or indeed speaks out against me, I am the model of tolerance.”
St. Peter told the emperors that they would be questioned separately, out of hearing of each other. St. Jerome has decided to present the answers to the same question together - so that we can understand the processes of justice and judgement at a much higher level than any earthly Supreme Court.
St. Jerome to Emperor of Tsarovia: “Which freedoms do you allow your people?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Our people are perfectly free. They are released from the burdens of slavery for a tyrannical master. They now work voluntarily for the state. They are so happy that there are never any dissidents in my empire. There is perfect freedom of the press, and disagreers are very few!”
St. Jerome: “That is very interesting because the press of the other countries implies exactly the opposite!”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “That is all invention and fake news, probably from meddling by Atlanticum! They meddle everywhere in the world where they think they are not taken seriously, or wish to extract more tribute!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Atlanticum: “Which freedoms do you allow your people?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “Our people are perfectly free. They are joyous to work hard for a company (especially to work for free for my company). They are so happy that there are never any dissidents in my Empire. There is perfect freedom of the press and disagreers are very few. Disagreers are invited to leave my Empire, they are not entitled to the freedoms of my supporters.”
St. Jerome: “That is very interesting, as the press even of your own country implies exactly the opposite.”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “That is all invention and fake news, probably from meddling by my political opponents, and hackers from the Empire of Tsarovia!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Tsarovia: “Which other nation is your greatest friend?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “The smaller nations that were once part of our empire at its greatest, are still our friends! Several of these countries thought they wanted independence from our great empire - but that was all caused by propagandic meddling by Atlanticum, and bribery by their hacker allies! More recently many leaders of these small countries have said they would like to join our Empire again.”
St. Jerome: “Is that not a result of you offering financial incentives to the leaders so that they can persuade their people to vote in your favor?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “There is no corruption in my empire. A few financial rewards are sometimes made to regional leaders - who show great progress in reunification!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Atlanticum: “Which other nation is your greatest friend?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “We have many friends across the globe who ask us for help. They ask us to place our military in their countries out of friendship. Any country which offers us their natural resources at the lowest prices, and those who help us to transport it back to Atlanticum is our friend!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Tsarovia: “Which nation is your greatest enemy?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Well Atlanticum of course. They force us to spend millions on building warcraft, which we cannot afford. But at least we can sell our used models to developing countries at exorbitant prices that mortgage those countries for centuries ahead – this way we can guarantee peace and prosperity.”
St. Jerome: “But there are voices in your country that say you spend the earnings on ‘parties for the Party’ instead of feeding the people – as your predecessors had promised.”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “It is sometimes difficult to know which are the greater troublemakers, the propagandists of Atlanticum or the few dissidents within our own country!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Atlanticum: “Which nation is your greatest enemy?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “Well Tsarovia of course. They force us to spend millions on building warcraft. However we are smart and we use weapons to bargain throughout the world. Either by selling to those with the most money, or by reminding those under our umbrella of protection that such services will cost them later much more money.”
St. Jerome: “You focus entirely on war, money, threatening and power. Why should these be qualities that permit your entry to Heaven?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “These are necessary qualities to run an empire. Maybe you losers up in Heaven should learn the myth of the deal! Giving things for free to the humble and poor is bad business. Every body in Atlanticum is here to provide the workforce for my companies and those of my supporters. That is our definition of Capitalism. The workers are here to provide capital for the wealthy!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Tsarovia: “How would you like to see the future of your empire?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Just like it used to be at our greatest time. We will go forwards, until all of the world wants to be like us. The Party will become greater and the people will be happy to serve the Party. The future of the world is the future of the Party”.
St. Jerome: “But how will you integrate those who oppose you, how do you approach those who want something else?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Those who disagree are very few. It would be best if they go somewhere else, although they are not permitted to leave – we need the workers. Happy workers is what we need – all others will become happy workers!”
St. Jerome to Emperor of Atlanticum: “How would you like to see the future of your empire?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “In our Empire we are democratic. That means that whole population (demos) is there to serve the few who represent them – those elected by me. So the future means more of everything for me and about me! Those who disagree are brought into alignment by those who support me!”
St. Jerome: “And how do you deal with your opponents?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “In my daily burps, I rant and rave about those who oppose me until one of my supporters puts an opponent out of his misery. The future of my empire is me. It is the single purpose of my people to make me great again!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “How would you like to see the future of the whole earth?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “We are happy that there are other empires and nations. With time we will re-achieve the territories of our previous empire. I will become big buddies with other emperors, even the Emperor of Atlanticum will want to be my friend. We will trade with other nations, and I will tell you now that my citizens will say they are content!”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “The whole earth will be the breadbasket of Atlanticum. Not just bread of course, but any resource that we desire. We will exert our right as the Empire chosen by God, to take what is rightly ours from other nations. We will pay of course for what we take from other nations, but minimal token amounts. Most of what we pay will be used to bribe politicians and businessmen to arrange to give up what we want from their soil. It is just tough that the citizens of other countries will not benefit much from this effect. After all, the trickle-down effect only works if there is anything left to trickle down! We do not need to invade the whole world to extend our empire – we have found that bribery overseas is all we need to enforce our hegemony. It would cost me too much from my private fortune to wage war across the world! The mere threat of invasion is very effective!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Give a list of your greatest achievements.”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “We have homogenized half the cultures of the world. We have ridden our empire of the burden of variety. Everything has been simplified by the Party. We have potatoes and alcohol for everybody. We were first to conquer Antarctica and space, and land our glorious machines on the Moon, Venus and Mars.”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “We have removed more than half the cultures of the world. We have simplified our empire into a two party state. Very soon my party will be the chosen privileged one, and the others will become our servants. We have French fries and beer for everybody. We were first to land our people on the Moon, and we will soon plant our flag on Mars. The greatest achievement of all was my self-election to Emperor for life, plus the extra time I get for immortality!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Give a list of your greatest failures.”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Our Party has had no failures except a few crop harvests. Everything else functioning perfectly.”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “The only failures happened before my time in office. The press continue to make false accusations about things that go wrong. It is made clear by my devotees and my representatives that if something is wrong it is the fault of my predecessors. All the things that go well, even if they were initiated by my predecessors, were only successful because of me!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Which items would you like to change in your country?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “That any dissidents would finally accept the wishes and rules of the Party. Then we could stop persecuting them for their aggression!”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “The notion that we should waste lots of money on losers and useless people. That we should tax the rich to pay for the poor. The rich should be rewarded for being so wealthy. The poor should be driven to work harder to pay for all of the perks and payments that the homeless and unemployed have incurred. That we could export any dissidents to war zones.”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Which items would you like to keep in your country?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “The idea of an over organized society where the wishes of the many are prescribed by the privileged. Compulsory service of the youth to our military. Lifelong membership of the party where uniformity is encouraged.”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “The false notion of equality and democracy. I think it would be too disruptive to acknowledge the truth of an over organized society where the wishes of the many are prescribed by the privileged. Re-introduction of compulsory military service for the vulgar youth - exemptions of course for children of the privileged families. Lifelong membership of my political party where uniformity is encouraged.”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Why do you want to come to Heaven?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “I only represent my nation. I once told them that when we were about to start another nuclear war with Atlanticum and their hegemonic dependencies, that God was on our side. I only want to keep my promise to my people!”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “With all of the selected dead up here they must be worth a fortune! I would offer them real estate deals that are unbeatable, with infinite space, everlasting mortgages, and tremendous tax deductions for the eternally wealthy. I would reorganize heaven so that it does good business. I would of course insist on having my picture in all places of worship instead of the usual ones that clutter up the space – all of those old-fashioned biblical personalities, relicts, and you saint guys!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Why do you think you should not go to an alternative place?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Heaven has always been the destination of choice for the warriors in my empire. Hell is too tropical for most of our citizens; and the other places like Purgatory, are just too nondescript for my culture rich peoples.”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “Where I am is always Heaven. I often consider sending my opponents to Hell. Boring places like those in between are just waiting rooms for those who cannot decide!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Do you think your empire should be made smaller?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “We have defined the size of Tsarovia. For a while it became smaller, as a few small fish were persuaded by Atlanticum that they should try on their own. But slowly the ways of Tsarovia showed them the way back. Old size is right size!”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “God decided that the whole universe is territory of Atlanticum. So the size of my Empire can always grow – as long as I can make more money. I have no intention of letting the migrants displaced by war into my empire. Non-Atlanticums can apply to join us as slaves, or perhaps a few specialists. Quite soon my Empire might replace Heaven, and you Jerome might consider where you might want to go then!”
St. Jerome to the Emperors of Tsarovia and Atlanticum: “Are there parts of your empire that do not agree with your policies, what are you doing about them?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “A few ethic minorities want independence without ever calculating the cost. These small groups could never pay for themselves when trying to operate alone. One possibility would be to grant them their independence without financing, and let them find out for themselves!”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “The south of my empire is the land of the free and God’s selected country. Several of the northern cities have not yet seen the wisdom of my ways, but the southern spirit is creeping their way. Hopefully violent acts in some of these places will encourage them to accept my values and my ways. For I have just written an executive order that I will reign for eternity. I am not really interested in your Heaven with your rituals, but I would make a deal about staying out of your hair forever - in exchange for immortality!”
St. Peter and St. Jerome took the matter to be decided to the Heavenly Council, while the Heavenly Choir entertained the two emperors. After an instant of Heavenly Time, or an eternity of Earth Time, the two Councillors returned.
St. Peter addressed the two: “The Heavenly Council finds that neither of you are worthy of Heaven. The Council is of the opinion that both of you misled and mistreated your peoples. Moreover the Council thinks that you have both consistently lied to your subjects, and blamed the other empire for your own misdoings and shortcomings. Your propaganda images at home are both very similar and heavily manipulated, despite you pleading enormous differences. They totally misrepresent your actions and role in the world!“
“Neither of you are worthy as individuals to enter heaven, and have put your empires in unworthy positions. The Council has decided to send you both to Purgatory until you improve your ratings. Until your next personal Judgement Day, your Empires will be managed by a Council of Mixed Representation. Do you have anything to say?”
Emperor of Tsarovia: “Are you not concerned that I will not try to convert those in Purgatory to the philosophy of my Party?”
Emperor of Atlanticum: “Go to Hell!”
JD
05/19/2019Thought provoking, sobering, biting, and hilarious. Very tempting to switch this one to the 'true life' category! : )
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
JD
06/18/2019Congratulations on being selected as one of the Short Story STARS of the Week, Alan! Thank you for sharing your stories on Storystar! :-)
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Kevin Hughes
05/17/2019Alan ,
Oh my dear boy, you have channeled the scathing wit of Wilde, Swift, or Voltaire in this one. My oh my, you are going to stomp on a lot of toes with this one- as it resonates with some very similarities on the World Stage right now. Just wonderful.
Smiles, Kevin
COMMENTS (4)