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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Love stories / Romance
- Subject: Science / Science Fiction
- Published: 06/13/2019
The Moment I Close My Eyes
By Ayush
I sat, coiled, into the armchair with my cheek thrust deep into the cushion. I was staring into nowhere. My hair undone and body shrouded in the furry blanket, which wasn’t thick enough to warm me on that snowy night. As flakes of snow lined on the window glass, the weakening gleam of moon was but a reminder that you were no longer by my side. I missed that warmth which I felt when in your arms…Your absence made the cold night all the more terrible. You were there somewhere… lost amidst the crowd of this populous nation. But to make things worse I didn’t know where…
You could’ve been lying on a couch in a rented apartment surfing lazily through the channels on your T.V. set, or crammed between local vegetable vendors in an auto-rickshaw…Or you could’ve been thinking about me…thinking about me while humming to yourself that song which we used to sing together as we walked home, hand-in-hand, from school.
“Ye dil tum bin kahin lagta nahin hum kya karein… (This heart does not want to devote itself anywhere without you, what shall I do…)”
Ah, this song by Lata Mangeshkar and Mohammed Rafi, the duo that could create magic in every sense of the word. When that song came up to my mind I closed my eyes…I felt it… and it was that moment which reminded me of the little device that you gave me the day you left.
I remember you held my hand in yours and told me that we no longer could be in contact and then you handed me a little cuboid and asked me to always keep it near. You wanted me to have it by my side so that when the device made a humming sound we could talk. You could see me… I could see you and we could find a way to be together again.
Since that day the cuboid stayed on my bookshelf. It remained seated between Murakami and Ghosh; their books forming a tent over the device in turn of it being their support to incline upon. I waited until that month passed. I waited until seasons passed. The device didn’t hum…You didn’t come…
Until, that snowy night…
When something broke the silence around me; something seemed melodious in the midst of the harsh stillness around. It was a hum. The device was finally humming. I turned around to see certain numbers run rapidly on the short display on the front face of the cuboid. It looked as if it was trying to unlock itself. It wasn’t a hum anymore it was almost a tune as audible as the morning alarm. Then a flash…and you were there… as promised. Though late but you did keep your promise like you always had done before.
You were there before me looking like the eighteen year old boy I once fell in love with. I didn’t know if shape-shifting was a gift unique to you or others of your kind shared this ability as well…even to this day, I don’t…But whichever way it was one thing was sure…is sure…You, yourself, were a gift for me…
You appeared and you held me in your arms. You tinged my rose lips with the silver dust of yours. You did that and my heart floated away to the memory of our first kiss. Kiss was how you revealed your true form to me. You told me when your kind expressed true love to someone specks of silver dust sprinkled to the place where you touched them. You touched me with true love that day and you chose to touch my lips…
On that snowy night when you kissed me in the form of the eighteen year old boy I knew you’d show me your true form again. You did know that too. You knew I loved your true form more than any of the forms you had to shape yourself in, to mingle into the crowd of humans. None of us said a word. We looked at each other. We smiled at the tears that rolled down our cheeks. We didn’t reach to wipe them. Our eyes had the right to express joy…what better way than tears?
Then you showed yourself…
Your toned physique covered in dust of stars. Your boyish face enhancing the innocence in your eyes. What mystery were you? What art…
You sat on your knee you took my hands into yours…A faint silver spot formed where you touched. That day I wanted you to touch me…To touch me and color every inch of my body silver…I wanted your love. I needed it. I needed your love like once I needed someone to stand by me…You stood by my side…You were standing then…
You looked at me and in a voice as fragile as a blooming flower you sung-
“Ye dil tum bin kahin lagta nahin hum kya karein…
(This heart does not want to devote itself anywhere without you, what shall I do…)”
My heart had only begun to pound inside my bosom when I looked at the joy floating away from your eyes. I had long known that face of yours. I knew what it meant. But I didn’t say a word. I didn’t want to make it difficult for you.
When in school I was bullied for being different. I thought it was difficult for me…But then you came. You stood for me…You were great at studies…wrote heart touching poetries…every student in the class wanted to be friends with you. But you chose me… Even I didn’t know why…until that day when you kissed me and revealed your true form. Since that day I’ve only wondered how difficult it would have been for you to hide yourself just because you were different, or I’d say beautiful…
And then you spoke…
“Shreya…I’ll have to go…”
I felt the pain but asked, “Where would you go Shaan…without me…”
“I’ll have to… to the place where I belong… I’m sorry…” You said. I could feel the same pain in your voice.
“You belong here Shaan…with me,” I said though I knew what you meant.
A mild smile flashed on your silver face as you said, “I know Shreya…there’s no other place warmer than the shelter of your arms, but I’ve a home…beyond those stars... and I have responsibilities to fulfill… So…”
I put my hand on your lips. I didn’t let you speak further. I kissed you and said-
“So…we have this one night…one last night all for us…”
Your face lighted as you said- “yes we do my love…yes we do…”
I didn’t ask you where you were all these days. You didn’t ask me how I’ll live without you for the rest of my life. But we talked all night entwined in each other’s arms under the fur blanket.
And then there was a faint hum…The cuboid was humming again…It was time.
“No don’t go…” I couldn’t resist but to cry.
Outside the morning had broken. The first rays of sun reflected upon the frost covered leaves making them sparkle in a crystal hue. The cold morning breeze touched my cheeks gently as if it wanted to wipe my tears off. Voice of a cuckoo coming from a distance seemed to jingle the wind chimes hung by the window.
“Don’t go…” I repeated as I pressed my lips against yours.
“Whenever you need me…look for me among the stars…” You said as slowly and slowly your body began turning into the same star dust that formed your skin…and before I knew it you were carried away with the morning breeze. Subsumed into that blue sky…
Today when I am writing about you, I don’t feel the sadness anymore. I don’t know but there was something in that last kiss of ours that has made me feel fulfilled ever since…I don’t know if this will ever reach you, but I wanted you to know…I have a family now…
My husband is a loving man and I’ve a daughter, her name’s Soumya. You’d have been so happy to meet her. I hope you have a family too. To this day I look at the stars and let my heart whisper, “Ye dil tum bin kahin lagta nahin hum kya karein… (This heart does not want to devote itself anywhere without you, what shall I do…)”, in the hope that it might reach you and tell you that I’m still here…I may not be the same Shreya you parted with on that day, but as a friend whenever you need me I’ll be there…always…
The moment I close my eyes and think about you I still feel that you belonged to me more than you did to anyone or anywhere else…
********
The moment I close my eyes(Ayush Kumar)
The Moment I Close My Eyes
By Ayush
I sat, coiled, into the armchair with my cheek thrust deep into the cushion. I was staring into nowhere. My hair undone and body shrouded in the furry blanket, which wasn’t thick enough to warm me on that snowy night. As flakes of snow lined on the window glass, the weakening gleam of moon was but a reminder that you were no longer by my side. I missed that warmth which I felt when in your arms…Your absence made the cold night all the more terrible. You were there somewhere… lost amidst the crowd of this populous nation. But to make things worse I didn’t know where…
You could’ve been lying on a couch in a rented apartment surfing lazily through the channels on your T.V. set, or crammed between local vegetable vendors in an auto-rickshaw…Or you could’ve been thinking about me…thinking about me while humming to yourself that song which we used to sing together as we walked home, hand-in-hand, from school.
“Ye dil tum bin kahin lagta nahin hum kya karein… (This heart does not want to devote itself anywhere without you, what shall I do…)”
Ah, this song by Lata Mangeshkar and Mohammed Rafi, the duo that could create magic in every sense of the word. When that song came up to my mind I closed my eyes…I felt it… and it was that moment which reminded me of the little device that you gave me the day you left.
I remember you held my hand in yours and told me that we no longer could be in contact and then you handed me a little cuboid and asked me to always keep it near. You wanted me to have it by my side so that when the device made a humming sound we could talk. You could see me… I could see you and we could find a way to be together again.
Since that day the cuboid stayed on my bookshelf. It remained seated between Murakami and Ghosh; their books forming a tent over the device in turn of it being their support to incline upon. I waited until that month passed. I waited until seasons passed. The device didn’t hum…You didn’t come…
Until, that snowy night…
When something broke the silence around me; something seemed melodious in the midst of the harsh stillness around. It was a hum. The device was finally humming. I turned around to see certain numbers run rapidly on the short display on the front face of the cuboid. It looked as if it was trying to unlock itself. It wasn’t a hum anymore it was almost a tune as audible as the morning alarm. Then a flash…and you were there… as promised. Though late but you did keep your promise like you always had done before.
You were there before me looking like the eighteen year old boy I once fell in love with. I didn’t know if shape-shifting was a gift unique to you or others of your kind shared this ability as well…even to this day, I don’t…But whichever way it was one thing was sure…is sure…You, yourself, were a gift for me…
You appeared and you held me in your arms. You tinged my rose lips with the silver dust of yours. You did that and my heart floated away to the memory of our first kiss. Kiss was how you revealed your true form to me. You told me when your kind expressed true love to someone specks of silver dust sprinkled to the place where you touched them. You touched me with true love that day and you chose to touch my lips…
On that snowy night when you kissed me in the form of the eighteen year old boy I knew you’d show me your true form again. You did know that too. You knew I loved your true form more than any of the forms you had to shape yourself in, to mingle into the crowd of humans. None of us said a word. We looked at each other. We smiled at the tears that rolled down our cheeks. We didn’t reach to wipe them. Our eyes had the right to express joy…what better way than tears?
Then you showed yourself…
Your toned physique covered in dust of stars. Your boyish face enhancing the innocence in your eyes. What mystery were you? What art…
You sat on your knee you took my hands into yours…A faint silver spot formed where you touched. That day I wanted you to touch me…To touch me and color every inch of my body silver…I wanted your love. I needed it. I needed your love like once I needed someone to stand by me…You stood by my side…You were standing then…
You looked at me and in a voice as fragile as a blooming flower you sung-
“Ye dil tum bin kahin lagta nahin hum kya karein…
(This heart does not want to devote itself anywhere without you, what shall I do…)”
My heart had only begun to pound inside my bosom when I looked at the joy floating away from your eyes. I had long known that face of yours. I knew what it meant. But I didn’t say a word. I didn’t want to make it difficult for you.
When in school I was bullied for being different. I thought it was difficult for me…But then you came. You stood for me…You were great at studies…wrote heart touching poetries…every student in the class wanted to be friends with you. But you chose me… Even I didn’t know why…until that day when you kissed me and revealed your true form. Since that day I’ve only wondered how difficult it would have been for you to hide yourself just because you were different, or I’d say beautiful…
And then you spoke…
“Shreya…I’ll have to go…”
I felt the pain but asked, “Where would you go Shaan…without me…”
“I’ll have to… to the place where I belong… I’m sorry…” You said. I could feel the same pain in your voice.
“You belong here Shaan…with me,” I said though I knew what you meant.
A mild smile flashed on your silver face as you said, “I know Shreya…there’s no other place warmer than the shelter of your arms, but I’ve a home…beyond those stars... and I have responsibilities to fulfill… So…”
I put my hand on your lips. I didn’t let you speak further. I kissed you and said-
“So…we have this one night…one last night all for us…”
Your face lighted as you said- “yes we do my love…yes we do…”
I didn’t ask you where you were all these days. You didn’t ask me how I’ll live without you for the rest of my life. But we talked all night entwined in each other’s arms under the fur blanket.
And then there was a faint hum…The cuboid was humming again…It was time.
“No don’t go…” I couldn’t resist but to cry.
Outside the morning had broken. The first rays of sun reflected upon the frost covered leaves making them sparkle in a crystal hue. The cold morning breeze touched my cheeks gently as if it wanted to wipe my tears off. Voice of a cuckoo coming from a distance seemed to jingle the wind chimes hung by the window.
“Don’t go…” I repeated as I pressed my lips against yours.
“Whenever you need me…look for me among the stars…” You said as slowly and slowly your body began turning into the same star dust that formed your skin…and before I knew it you were carried away with the morning breeze. Subsumed into that blue sky…
Today when I am writing about you, I don’t feel the sadness anymore. I don’t know but there was something in that last kiss of ours that has made me feel fulfilled ever since…I don’t know if this will ever reach you, but I wanted you to know…I have a family now…
My husband is a loving man and I’ve a daughter, her name’s Soumya. You’d have been so happy to meet her. I hope you have a family too. To this day I look at the stars and let my heart whisper, “Ye dil tum bin kahin lagta nahin hum kya karein… (This heart does not want to devote itself anywhere without you, what shall I do…)”, in the hope that it might reach you and tell you that I’m still here…I may not be the same Shreya you parted with on that day, but as a friend whenever you need me I’ll be there…always…
The moment I close my eyes and think about you I still feel that you belonged to me more than you did to anyone or anywhere else…
********
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- 2
JD
06/16/2019Beautiful other-worldly love story, Ayush! Thank you for sharing it with us! :-)
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
Ayush Kumar
06/16/2019And Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. It's always a pleasure to hear from you :-D
Regards,
Ayush
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Ayush Kumar
06/14/2019Thank you Aziz sir for reading and taking the time to comment.
Regards,
Ayush
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