I remember it like it was yesterday, after a long, 6 month process of running back and forth to the Circuit Court building, sending off this paper and that paper, redoing what I did not do right , waiting for this stamp and that stamp, I had finally submitted everything correctly, and the system generated me a court date for June 3rd, 2019 at 9:30am. I was so damn happy !!
Finally, a 10 year relationship of many ups and downs, and ins and outs, that I had held on to since my Junior year of high school, a marriage that crumbled with unforeseen events and a separation of 2 years, will come to an official end! I couldn’t have been more excited to get this monkey off my back, lol as my grandma would say, may she RIP. But there’s a blessing in every lesson!
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” – Ann Lander
The weekend before my court date, I traveled to Atlanta and returned that Sunday of June 2nd. Atlanta was a blast and had really heightened my excitement to be returning home to the finalization of my divorce the next morning. Monday morning, I woke up and proceeded with my usual morning routine: I dropped my son off at school to before care, I went to workout, stopped to get coffee and then came back home to get dressed. Instead of heading to work, I was headed to hear that my divorce would be finalized !
Due to the fact that he never signed or agreed to anything, I had to have a divorce by default and prove that I had taken the necessary steps to serve him all the paperwork and etc. As I swore in my little heart was beating so fast, LOL, hoping this was it and I had everything in order. I did! On this day June 3rd… I ….. grant….. ….we are now off the record ! Whew I am free !
Walking out that building I was just relieved. Not a lot of emotion , just relieved. I reached out to a few of my close friends who had been on the journey with me to break the news and went back home for a nap. LOL. I was still pretty exhausted from traveling and being too excited for court, which lead me to not get much sleep the night before. I woke up to lots of jokes from my friends about how fun our summer was about to be, and it’s pretty much been that way ! Cheers to that !
ALL MY SINGLE LADIES, ALL MY SINGLE LADIES
Days following my divorce it was funny that suddenly men had started approaching me left and right. I had not been too interested in dating. Even though I was separated , and not officially divorced, I should have not been thinking about dating anyway, right , haha, but I knew I was done, just had to complete the process. I had my favorite line of “I don’t have time” when guys would try to get to know me. I pretty much had my nose turned with men , which would make sense after the things I had been through in my relationship . I was hurt and needed to heal.
So here I am, officially a single lady now, hanging with my girls, ready for a Bae, LOL. I’d finally started giving my number out to guys that would approach me if I was feeling their demeanor and etc. Three guys had impressed me enough in that time to have my number and all three of them were using it. LMAO. I’d went from 0 to 3 real quick !
I QUICKLY FOUND OUT I CAN NEVER BE A CITY GIRL…WHERE DO YALL FIND THE ENERGY TO ENTERTAIN ALL THESE PEOPLE
One started planning things for us to do daily; breakfast ,lunch ,and dinner , concerts and etc. if I was free ,he wanted to get out . I was like ok ,ok he really want to get to know me. The other guy was pretty consistent but not as consistent as the first 1. He would want to go for a walk, get coffee, hit up a museum or catch a movie. Those guys consistency did not leave a lot of room for the 3rd guy which he never took initiative and was more of a good morning beautiful , how’s work texting type (I’m surely not interested in that).
A couple weeks in, I had been out a lot and texting my girls about the guys I’d met. They were nice looking men, mature, had things going for themselves and etc. (I should be pretty intrigued!!) It was in that third week that I was over it!! LOL! I was on about my fourth date with one guy and he had remembered my birthday and asked me if I had anything special in mind this year. I remember he told me his (we went over that on the first date), but I could not remember when it was. So unfortunately, here I am asking him when is his birthday again. The minute he told me , I started ranting about how me, him and my BFF shared the same birthday month. I was all in my head like OMG , I should have been asking him what he had planned for his day instead or NOT! I guess I really didn’t care SMH. I made it home and texted my friends like ok I’m done wasting these men's time, lol!
It’s all about ME,ME,ME,ME,ME!!!!!!
I was like I do not feel like remembering anyone’s birthday, what they like, fake hugging , and not knowing what to say when they say they really like me, LMAO seriously! As happy as I am to be single, I have enjoyed being with ME! I spent so many years caring about something and someone other than myself that the more I detached myself from that I begin to be back in touch with myself, my best self at that !! This is the best me I have ever seen! This is the best I have ever felt! I am enjoying being a mom to my little guy, hanging with my girls, trying new things, traveling and doing more of what makes my soul happy !
Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself