Sam stared into her beautiful grey-green eyes, admiring her sharply defined cheekbones and perfect skin. Her pixie cut set off an almost triangular head that ended in a daintily pointed chin.
He lowered the magazine and looked at Gregory. “And you reckon you can get me a date with her? She’s like a model, right?”
Gregory smirked and sat back, satisfied at his mate’s reaction. “Yep. She’s my ...” he thought for a second, brow furrowed, lips moving. “She’s my girlfriend’s mother’s friend’s niece!” he declared triumphantly.
“Wow.” Sam looked at the beautiful face of Kimi again. “Do you really think she’d go out with someone like me?”
“I don’t see why not, mate. Like, you know. You’re not that ugly.” Gregory flushed red and glared into his coffee.
Equally uncomfortable, Sam stared at Kimi’s picture, assuring himself he was still a man. Even if his best mate did find him not that ugly.
“Okay. What the hell. Set me up, dude!”
Gregory fist-pumped the air. “Yes! Leave it with me, she’ll lo ... Um, yeah, I think she’ll like you okay. Probably.” He rubbed his nose and cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’ve gotta go ... do stuff. I’ll text you. K?”
Sam nodded in relief. This conversation was just way too deep and feely for his taste. “Yeah, I’ve got stuff to do, too. Talk to you later, man.”
The following Friday saw the two friends at the pub for their regular get-together.
They talked about the weather, about what mutual friends were up to, the footy scores, until Sam couldn’t wait any longer.
“So, how did you go with the, you know, hook-up thing.”
Gregory grinned guilelessly. “Oh yeah, that thing.” He sat back and sighed heavily, twirling his stubbie around and picking at the label.
Sam’s heart sank. He knew it was too good to be true.
The silence hung heavily between them.
Then Gregory snorted a laugh. “Ha! Did it, man. She’s going to a wedding next weekend and was looking for a plus one. She reckons she’ll give you a go.”
Sam gaped at his friend. “No way, sweet! Weddings always make the chicks go all gushy and leg-openy. I’m in! What day, what time, do I pick her up?”
“Saturday afternoon, she’ll meet you there.” Gregory slid a piece of paper across the table with the details neatly hand-written.
“Oh man, do I owe you one.” They fist bumped and clinked stubbies to celebrate Sam’s date with a model. Sam couldn’t stop grinning, picturing Kimi in his mind. That perfect face, kissable lips, huge eyes. He couldn’t wait, but was sure his imagination could fill in until the real thing.
The rest of the night was spent cheering to Sam’s big score, until they finally staggered into taxis and went home to sleep it off. Sam’s drunken dreams were filled with erotic bed-romping with the beautiful Kimi, and he awoke wondering how he was going to be able to wait for another week to see her in the flesh.
Oh, he had it bad.
Finally, finally. Saturday.
Sam showered, cologned, then showered again to wash the eye-stinging stink off his body. He decided to forgo the cologne, and just stuck with his heavy-duty antiperspirant.
By four o’clock, he was a nervous wreck, and had a couple of shots of vodka to calm himself before catching a taxi to the wedding venue.
He was almost half an hour early, and ordered a beer to boost the vodka confidence.
Guests trickled in, but no sign of Kimi. Halfway through another beer, the room went quiet, an almost electric buzz filling the room. Sam looked up to see the model poised at the entrance, letting everyone notice her.
She wore a floor length shimmery purple-blue number and looked way too stunning for the likes of Sam Cuthbert.
Sam got to his feet and made his way toward her, unable to take his eyes off her until he was standing before her. She wasn’t quite so pretty close up. Her pixie hair cut emphasised the triangularity of her head, her eyes were way too big for the delicate features. Her nose and mouth seemed an afterthought, out of balance with those big eyes. She watched him as he approached, almost predatory in her stare.
But what the hell. She was a goddammed model, wasn’t she?
Sam took her bony hand in his and smiled warmly. “Hi, I’m Sam. I believe I’m your date for the evening?” Damn. That wasn’t supposed to sound like a question.
But Kimi just smiled at him, her small mouth turning up at the corners. “Well, hi there. It’s lovely to meet you. Sam.” She cocked her head and looked at him out of the corner of her eye, simultaneously causing an erection and an uneasy chill down his spine.
“Shall we have a drink?”
Sam readily agreed and led her to the bar, where he ordered a martini for the lady, and another beer for himself.
The evening went surprisingly well. Boy, could that woman put away the martinis! Sam switched to light beer, just in case he got to perform later on.
The ceremony was quite lovely. Sam’s eyes burned with tears, but when he turned to Kimi, her eyes were dry and she looked quite bored. Hmm, maybe this wasn’t going to be such a sure thing after all.
But after the ceremony and the obligatory socialising, Kimi surprised him by leaning in, her modest breasts pushing against Sam’s arm, and whispered “How about we skip the rest of this and go back to my place.”
Sam gaped at her, pleased that he was still sober enough to do his duty.
“Um, yeah. Sure. Okay. Are we going to ... I mean, I don’t want to presume, but ...”
Kimi laughed, and gave him that peculiar cock-headed look again. Her bony hand grasped his sleeve. “Yes, I want sex.”
Sam’s knees turned to water, and he sat down on the nearest bar stool. He found himself strangely reluctant to end the evening like this. Like, where was the romance?
But still. Sam Cuthbert was about to get laid!
They left the venue unobtrusively. Sam was surprised when Kimi led him to her car instead of hailing a taxi. The sober part of him questioned the wisdom of getting into a car with this strange woman who had quaffed her body weight in martinis, but he wouldn’t let a little caution get in the way of sex.
She drove superbly, negotiating the light evening traffic with a steady hand, her eyes only occasionally leaving the road to grin at him. Strangely, this only served to make him more nervous.
They didn’t go far, just to the nearest motel.
Kimi left him in the car while she went to pay for the room. Sam was starting to feel like a gigolo and wasn’t sure he liked it. He preferred to be in control of these sorts of things. Maybe, if they kept seeing each other, he could try and take control. But right now, he felt he was on a roller-coaster ride that he had to endure until the bitter end. He could not recall ever feeling the same way about the occasional sexual encounter.
He suddenly realised that he had no desire to see this woman ever again. He would have sex with her tonight, and then they would go their own way.
As soon as they were in the room, Kimi pushed him against the wall, her tongue tasting his stale beer breath.
Despite his reservations, Sam felt himself grow hard. Kimi stood back and let her dress drop to the floor.
Her bony chest had no discernible boobs, her stomach and waistline had a caved in look, her bony hips prominent. Her legs were long and almost stick-like.
She swiftly and aggressively pulled his pants down then pushed him onto the bed, covering his body with hers. It was like being held down by a sack of twigs.
She opened herself and took him in. He didn’t last as long as he had hoped, pumping his seed into her within seconds.
He looked at her, feebly shrugging his shoulders in apology, but she didn’t seem to care.
Sam looked up in horror as her mouth stretched to an impossible size, engulfing his head and neatly decapitating him with her sharp mandibles.