Congratulations !
You have been awarded points.
Thank you for !
- Story Listed as: Fiction For Teens
- Theme: Mystery
- Subject: Revenge / Poetic Justice / Karma
- Published: 09/13/2019
Succession
Born 2000, M, from Jamshedpur, IndiaThe boy stood in silence behind the lamppost glaring at some distant object. It was a dark lonely lane surrounded by screeching of bats flying over the little boy. He picked up his bag lying on the street and started walking towards it. Something was withholding him from going further on. But nonetheless he continued walking.
"What is it...I need to find out,'' he whispered. He wasn't sure if he should go further. But curiosity had held the boy's imagination in its tight clutches.
As he kept walking he came closer and closer to the unknown object. It started to become clearer.
Although he had a preconceived notion regarding the object that it may bring harm to him if he goes closer to it but he kept walking. Slowly and steadily his endeavour came to an end. He stood next to the object, rubbed his eyes as he couldn't believe what it was. "Is it??...Oh no I can't believe...No it cannot be?!..."
Suddenly he felt something on his shoulder. He didn't want to turn his head. He was terrified. Asahi Hamasaki, came a whisper from behind. The unknown person had a husky but fragile voice.
"Who is it", he thought and how does he know my name... Though Asahi thought at first of just running away but he wanted to know how the person standing behind him knew his name. Still keeping his back towards the man, he asked, "Sir please may I know your name?," to which the man replied, "I am your Godfather son."
The boy turned around to face the man. He had never seen him before. The man had winter-white hair and wrinkles all over his face. His blood-speckled brown eyes were fixed on Asahi as if he was trying to read his mind. "And what proof do you have sir...to be honest I think you're some random old man trying to trick me into something which as far as I think isn't good for me at all". The old man smiled a diabolic smile and said, "My name is Kaito Shinkai and once upon a time, many years ago I had saved your mother Akari Hamamoto.
"How does he know my mother's name...is he speaking the truth ??", thought Asahi turning his face away from Kaito. "What did you do to save her and what was the need??", asked Asahi sternly turning back to Kaito.
Kaito smiled and offered the boy to walk with him down the lane. Asahi, at first was a little hesitant but he wanted to hear what the old man had to say. And so, he reluctantly concurred with him somehow concealing his dissent. They started walking slowly. The boy looked behind at the incredible object for which he had come so far. "I'll tell you everything about it son, don't worry...when the right time arrives, you'll be the one using it for a greater good." whispered Kaito close to Asahi's ears.
Succession(Arya)
The boy stood in silence behind the lamppost glaring at some distant object. It was a dark lonely lane surrounded by screeching of bats flying over the little boy. He picked up his bag lying on the street and started walking towards it. Something was withholding him from going further on. But nonetheless he continued walking.
"What is it...I need to find out,'' he whispered. He wasn't sure if he should go further. But curiosity had held the boy's imagination in its tight clutches.
As he kept walking he came closer and closer to the unknown object. It started to become clearer.
Although he had a preconceived notion regarding the object that it may bring harm to him if he goes closer to it but he kept walking. Slowly and steadily his endeavour came to an end. He stood next to the object, rubbed his eyes as he couldn't believe what it was. "Is it??...Oh no I can't believe...No it cannot be?!..."
Suddenly he felt something on his shoulder. He didn't want to turn his head. He was terrified. Asahi Hamasaki, came a whisper from behind. The unknown person had a husky but fragile voice.
"Who is it", he thought and how does he know my name... Though Asahi thought at first of just running away but he wanted to know how the person standing behind him knew his name. Still keeping his back towards the man, he asked, "Sir please may I know your name?," to which the man replied, "I am your Godfather son."
The boy turned around to face the man. He had never seen him before. The man had winter-white hair and wrinkles all over his face. His blood-speckled brown eyes were fixed on Asahi as if he was trying to read his mind. "And what proof do you have sir...to be honest I think you're some random old man trying to trick me into something which as far as I think isn't good for me at all". The old man smiled a diabolic smile and said, "My name is Kaito Shinkai and once upon a time, many years ago I had saved your mother Akari Hamamoto.
"How does he know my mother's name...is he speaking the truth ??", thought Asahi turning his face away from Kaito. "What did you do to save her and what was the need??", asked Asahi sternly turning back to Kaito.
Kaito smiled and offered the boy to walk with him down the lane. Asahi, at first was a little hesitant but he wanted to hear what the old man had to say. And so, he reluctantly concurred with him somehow concealing his dissent. They started walking slowly. The boy looked behind at the incredible object for which he had come so far. "I'll tell you everything about it son, don't worry...when the right time arrives, you'll be the one using it for a greater good." whispered Kaito close to Asahi's ears.
- Share this story on
- 10
JD
09/14/2019Your story does not seem finished, but just the beginning of something longer that is cut off at the end. And you left the reader out of the loop by not revealing the object that was so priceless in your story. So... as a reader, it was a disappointment since it left me hanging without any resolution or conclusion. Seems like it has potential to be a really good story, though., if it is 'finished'.
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
Arya
09/17/2019Thank you so much Jd for taking time to read my story. I'm working on the second part of the story which will be its conclusion.
COMMENTS (1)