Maybe if I never had cancer, I would not be in this position. Maybe if I was never born I wouldn’t have been in this place. This girl that I met in my biology class better arrive here soon, before I change my mind. My parents were so loving and caring who would have wanted to kill my precious parents? Apparently, some selfish people did. I was only 10 when the man that would hate for the rest of my life, appeared at our doorstep and demanded his money. My parents replied, “Mark, we don’t have the money now”. I guess my parents owed him some money. Since he did not like that answer he took his gun out and shot my mom and dad at the doorstep as if they were just animals he came to hunt. I don’t think he knew I was watching him from the stairs, because I’m pretty sure if he had seen me, he would have shot me too.
I was depressed my whole life until I reached high school, I wanted to take my anger out. I was tired of being the. “ The smart, gorgeous, shy Sarah” everybody in my class adored me because of how pretty and smart I was. The sad part was that nobody knows what really happens behind closed doors. Every school break, I would travel the world taking all my pieces of equipment with me. I kill any family I find. As time went on I became more and more professional at this job. I make sure I don’t leave any witnesses or any evidence behind. I enjoy seeing people suffer just as how I suffered when my parents died in front of my own eyes. Nobody was there to understand how I felt. Everyone moved on as if everything was okay.
I’m waiting for the girl from my class, in this dark alley of Baltimore, Maryland, because I wanted to kill her. She was just being annoying in class and I made a plan to ask her if she wanted to study at my place today, thankfully she agreed and here we are now waiting for her annoying self to show up so I can get rid of her and her body while she is one her way to my house. I told her to meet me at 6:30 pm and it’s now 7:17 pm and she still hasn’t arrived. I have killed about more than 22 people, and if she hurries and shows up she will be the 23rd. Oh, how that sounds nice knowing that I will be taking somebody’s life away. Killing people yea that’s my drug it's a satisfaction for me. It is 8:00 pm right now. I don’t think she will be showing up after this. Upset and angry I made my way to my house knowing that I couldn’t take somebody’s life away. It is like not being able to eat the whole day and knowing you won’t get what you need just makes it 10 times harder. This is the first time something like this happened to me. Every time I wanted to kill somebody I can go anywhere and kill anybody I wanted and go back to living my life. Today though, oh today was different. I was not able to take that girl’s life away as I had planned. It sucks. My head hurts, I feel like vomiting everything around me is starting to smell weird. The last thing I remember is laying on my bed and everything going black.
I wake up and I am in my parent’s arm, they’re holding me telling me that everything was going to be alright. I ask my dad why the guy had killed him he said “when you were a cancer patient as a baby we didn’t have money to afford for the treatments and we had borrowed some money from him, and when we couldn’t repay him back he killed us.” everything goes pitch black again. I woke up feeling guilty for all the lives I’ve ruined, why would I do something like that. This was not the person my parents raised me to be. How could I not have known that people will go through the same depression as I did, because of me? YES!! ME. I killed people for fun how crazy I must be. I can’t live anymore. I either turn myself in or just commit suicide right now. That’s it. I am done with life. I already caused so many people’s heartbreak and misery. I just need to get my gun and end my life.
I went to the basement to get my favorite green gun. If imma die I might as well just do it with something I love. I lifted the gun to my head with tears in my eyes. My head is shaking. My head is spinning. This is what I deserve. Just as I was about to pull the trigger I heard a faint voice.
“Please don’t do this.” whispered a small figure by the basement door. I squinted my eyes trying to figure out who the person was.
“Why are you here?” I asked, remembering that I left my door open. I didn’t even try hiding my gun. Knowing there is no point after this.
“I know you,” she states the obvious,
“Of course you know who I am, I am in your class, again why are you here?” I asked who I was just about hours ago.
“I know who you are, I know my dad killed your parents, I know you kill people, I know you were trying to take my life away tonight,” she spoke matter of factly. I am so confused about how she knows all of this and…
“B-but, wait, H-how?” I asked, stuttering.
“How about we go and talk upstairs? And please put the gun down,” she suggested looking at my hand. I was numb so I just did everything she said. She led the way upstairs to the living room as if she was here millionth times.
We both sat on the couch opposite from each other. I looked at her seeing that she had the same ginger hair like her dad. She just stared at me while I looked back at her with the same intensity.
“So..” I started.
“Oh, yea, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 9 years old, and at that time we didn’t have any money. I remember the night when my dad came home with tears in his eyes and sad eyes. I asked him what was wrong with him, he did not tell me anything but only that my mom was going to die, I cried in my dad’s arms the whole night. He didn’t come home the next day. I was really worried because he always came home before 10 since my mom used to stay at the hospital. He would make sure he would always be home for me. The funny thing about that night is that he even promised me that he was going to take me to visit my mom, he came around 2 am in the morning. I was so scared being by myself that night. He came in and didn't even acknowledge me, he ignored me for months after that. Sadly, my mom died…” she couldn’t even finish her sentence. She just sat there and started crying. I went to her and held her in my arms, we both fought our own bottles. If you had told me that I was going to give someone a hug and cry with them. I would have laughed in your face. After this night though, I realize what life really is about. Life is about trying to take it out of this maze that's named “LIfe”, and you gotta help others throughout his process.