What time is it? How many times has this been?How many tears have you let go wasted just like that? That too ,only to remain unnoticed as ever? You see, you've always been a big idiot ass from the very start. She has always been destroying you from the very start. And you knew it all along. Yet you just watched yourself going into the pitfalls. You knew she was playing with you, yet you just chose to be her puppet? Why? Is it love? Is she even worth it? You saved your heart throughout your life and never chose to share it with anyone ,only to have stepped on by this one girl? Does anything even mean to her at all? You never failed to treat her in the best way ,never kept from giving her the best of yours , are you still sure it meant anything at all? For the worst, she even let you touch her but it was nothing more than a physical contact for her. While you invested every single bit of your goddamned emotions into it. Not just it, everything was real for you. Every tiny and meaningless thing was real! What were you even expecting? Spring Flowers sprouting from walnut? Look at you now! You are ugly, embarrassed, guilty and betrayed at its finest. But why do you even feel betrayed? Didn't she always say she doesn't care about you? Doesn't give a damn about you? Just because she let you get close to her, talked to you in a sweet way, did you take all her sayings to be joke? She wasnt joking after all. She really didn't care about you ever. It was always you in your own la la land you created , wanting to believe there could be something between you and her. Back then, when you both used to live together, she stayed an entire year with you only out of pity. She watched movies with you coz you nagged her. She did everything just out of pity. And because she didn't know another person in that city besides you. So she had to laugh with you , eat with you , sleep with you. Coz you were her only choice. Things are different now. You are staying at her home now. This is her place. She has got everyone she knows and loves ,she doesn't need You. You are just a guest here who couldn't find another place to stay during these days of lockdown. All stuck here. But spoiler- she has more reasons to pity you now. You are away from your family , missing them so much. So she isn't gonna leave a chance of expressing her sympathy. But don't you dare mistake her sympathy for love. Remember ,she only wants you to leave as soon as possible. Why don't you get your shit together? You were never like this! You never cared less for anyone else besides yourself. How many people have you seen hurt but never bothered to lay an eye at? Why do you suddenly become soft for this one girl? What makes you so weak? Trust me, you can do much better. You only need to turn back into that thick blubber again. I know I was the one who asked you to be a bit a softer coz you were miserable at times when emotions were needed. You couldn't cry when your grandpa passed away, couldn't cry when your mom had operation and was moaning in pain, Couldn't show a single tear when your dad met with that road accident and couldn't express happiness when he survived it. So I told you to change. But I don't think its any better now. Your tears don't have any value now. Coz the person you chose to cry for doesn't seem to see your tears. And it's all getting on your nerves now. You never cried because you never wanted anyone to see your weak side. But you wanted this one girl to see through it. To know all of your sides. Yet here you are, all by yourself In a corner that belongs to you. Dont you feel like just marrying off this corner and stay happy? I mean it has witnessed your despair, frustration, and disappointment more than anyone else without mocking at you. Anyways you do realize those chains around you now don't you? They are hard but you can break them easily . Only if you want. Let go of yourself. Set yourself free of that hoe. She doesn't deserve you. Move ahead. Do better in life. You can do it. I trust you.