Congratulations !
You have been awarded points.
Thank you for !
- Story Listed as: True Life For Adults
- Theme: Inspirational
- Subject: Personal Growth / Achievement
- Published: 04/28/2020
REHAB
Born 1953, M, from Salem Oregon, United StatesA near death experience as explained in a previous chapter left me in a humbled state of physical and mental condition that I had never experienced before. I was about to proceed down a path of recovery from demons that had possessed me for years.
After spending Christmas in a hospital bed in Spain I was then flown to Wiesbaden Germany and spent a few days in the Navy Hospital there. From there I boarded a C130 flight back to the states. A Trans-ocean flight on a C130 is not the most pleasant experience one could hope for. No windows, a small canvas seat, C rations. The temperature goes from hot to freezing in just a matter of minutes and then back again. Not exactly first class, and not even coach, but it was interesting.
The flight was hours long but eventually we landed at Edwards and after quite a few stops over the next week I eventually was assigned to the Rehabilitation Center at Jacksonville Naval Air Station.
We were assigned to a barracks room that was more like a cottage. A small living room area, small kitchen and a over size sleeping area with 8 bunks. I had one very interesting roommate. The Full Bird Captain of a Naval Station in Texas. We all wore our dungaree uniforms with the exception of occasionally wearing Dress Blues. The Captain didn’t though, he wore civilian clothes. This was a ‘tell all no hold back’ kind of a place and they didn’t want anyone to be intimidated by the Captain’s Stripes and uniform.
We weren’t allowed to leave the base for the first 3 weeks with the exception of going to local AA meetings in the area. We had PT and gym time daily. But most of the day was spent in therapy. We would set around in a circle and the counselor would sometimes pick a theme for us to discuss. Most of the time it would just be ‘spill it’, just get it out in the open.
My friend the Captain once told his whole story about how drinking occasionally became drinking all the time. He said what really caused him to get to the point of knowing he needed help was a conversation he over heard by mistake. He said he had left his office and then realized that he had left something so returned through the back door. He over heard his Executive officer and some other personnel outside talking. They were laughing and when he stepped closer to the door to see what the joke was, he realized that they were laughing at him. They were swapping stories about him and his drunken escapades. He walked out and surprised them all. He said the look on their faces was one of shock and fear. They began to apologize but he lifted his finger to his lips and told them to be silent. He then shook hands with everyone and thanked them. The next day he requested orders to Rehabilitation. One of the coolest guys I’ve ever met and he actually referred to me once as his ‘best friend’.
During one session the counselor looked right at me and said “what’s you story”? Up to that point I had mostly listened and shared a little but not details. The counselor knew my story but until I came out in the open with the ordeal, I was not going to be down the path to recovery.
I started by telling about drinking over the years and he stopped me. He said “what happened that day in Spain”?.
Everyone was staring at me in anticipation. We were all so close and I was really the only one who had not ‘spilled it’.
So I started from the beginning with the Bacardi Rum Factory and took the journey recalling every milestone of that fateful day. When I finished everyone was silent, some looked down, some stared and a couple of guys reached over and touched my hand. The counselor said something that he had observed and heard me say.
“You mentioned that after you went to the drug store and purchased the sleeping pills and then the Alcohol, you then stopped at a café and had lunch”.
I nodded and he asked me “why”.
I said because I was hungry.
He replied, “but you were getting ready to kill yourself, what difference did hunger make”?
I couldn’t answer him, I just looked at him. He answered the question for me.
“You never wanted to kill yourself, you were crying out for help. What floor were you on”?
I told him the 5th.
“You could have easily just done a head first dive off the balcony”.
That was a very ‘sobering’ moment, no pun intended. It was true. It seemed from that moment on I began to think of this as not punishment but a reward. In all actuality, I was thinking about this as punishment. When I was first told that this was my only option, I was disappointed and thought about boring New Year’s Eves, and birthdays. I remember listening to a guy at one of the AA meetings we attended who was talking about being in a massive car wreck that had almost killed him. He recounted about how he couldn’t wait to get out of the hospital so he could get a drink. I shook my head in disbelief, thinking that this guy was almost killed by alcohol but here he is running right back to it.
After the counselor made that observation, I thought back about that guy in the car wreck and realized that alcohol had almost killed me but yet here I was mourning the boring New Year’s Eve parties? From then on it was screw you beer, screw you Jack Daniels. I got things to do and you are in my way!
The journey through the Rehabilitation was in reality probably the most rewarding 6 weeks of my life. We would have sessions during the day, attend AA meetings in town during the evenings. I never knew there was so many meetings. They’re in every part of the city. We were near Orange Park Florida which is just across the river from Jacksonville. We would load up in a van and take off. These meetings might have a guest speaker but many times they were just open sessions with anyone who wished to speak, telling their stories. They would always end with the invitation to acquire a ‘chip’. These are the ‘one day at a time’ symbols. You are putting this chip in your hand and pledging that you are going to attempt to stay sober until ‘TOMORROW’. That’s it baby,
'One Day At A Time.'
About 4 weeks into the journey I received some very good news. I was not going back to the Ship; in fact, I wasn’t going to any ship for 1 year. I was going to be placed on light duty. I would be assigned to the recreational department of Mayport Naval Station.
Every Friday we would attend a kind of graduation ceremony for the students. My friend the Captain graduated a week before I did and it was some tearful good byes but also joyful. When my turn came the next Friday, I approached the podium, we were given the opportunity to say a few words if we wanted to. I don’t remember exactly what I said but it was something like this:
“For the last 6 weeks I have been allowed to bare my soul and in return have put my soul on a path to be healed. It’s a winding path with a few ladders that have been climbed. This has been done with the help of some very fine people. Most of them are right here in this room, some have already departed on the continuation of their own paths. Tomorrow though, I’m back out there in the world. And everywhere I look will be the memories of what brought me here. The signs, the billboards, the TV commercials. Pop a top, fill a glass, try it with a splash of lime, great taste less filling. If it had not been for this sanctuary and you people, I would have thought about all those posters and signs and commercials as temptations or threats. But now I see them for what they are, reminders. They aren’t real, the people depicted in those scenes are actors. You, Me, Us, We are real! And although I will be out of this shelter and out there, I will not be alone. I will never be alone again!”
And it was done!
Footnote: I talked to my friend the Captain a couple of times after we left but lost touch with him after about a year. The last I heard he had retired after his tour was over and was still sober.
As for me, ten years or so after I retired from the Navy I relapsed and started drinking again. It was controlled at first but soon once again began to take over. Eight years ago, at this writing, I became friends with a young lady who I worked with. She was a fighter too and quite an inspiration to me and still is. I reached out to her one morning and she immediately invited me to one of the local meetings. And the rest is history as the saying goes. I have no desire to ever drink again. It just doesn’t appeal to me at all. I think the big difference this time, than back in 89, was then I pretty much quit because I had to. It was either go that way or possibly throw away 12 years of military service. This time it was because ‘I Wanted To’. Not because I had to but because...
‘I WANTED TO’!
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
.jpeg){kind=avatar}
COMMENTS (2)