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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Teens
- Theme: Mystery
- Subject: Mystery
- Published: 06/16/2020
Phone Call
Born 2004, M, from Jalgaon, Maharashtra, India.jpeg)
It's winter. Everything is covered in snow. A gentle breeze is blowing and children are skiing on the frozen lake.
I am in my bedroom scrolling through the contacts when I notice a number of my best friend Akhay who died last year.
"Why do I need that number?" I think. I am about to delete it, but then I take a pause. For some reason.
It's cold. I turn on the heater.
It has been a month since he died. I never gave a call on his number after that. Won't it look rude to delete the number in such a way? I decide to make a call. Maybe his parents will receive it. I will speak to them about our friendship. I'll tell them about the cheerful moments I had spent with my best friend.
I call on his number.
'Trrriiiiiing... Trrriiiiiing...' the caller tune rings.
I notice that I am shivering. "Because it's cold today" I say to myself. I look at the clock.
'11:32 a.m.'
The caller tune is still going on. I am about to press the red button when I hear-
"Hellllooo... Akshay speaking."
A chill runs down my spine. My body hair stand out. It's the same cheerful voice of my best friend. I slowly lift the phone to my ears.
"A... A.. Akshay?" I stammer.
He begins speaking and I too get lost in the conversation. He is the same. The same funny friend. He makes me laugh by cracking jokes. I feel completely comfortable speaking to him. The conversation continues for an hour. Finally, he asks-
"It's been a lot of days since we spoke with each other. Why didn't you call?"
Another chill goes down my spine. I whisper-
"Because..... you died."
I look at the clock.
'12:45 a.m.'
The snow outside has began to melt. The Sun has turned brighter. Small ponds of clean water form on the road. The breeze turns warmer.
I am still waiting for his reply. Still shivering. Of course, because of cold.
Phone Call(Pratik)
It's winter. Everything is covered in snow. A gentle breeze is blowing and children are skiing on the frozen lake.
I am in my bedroom scrolling through the contacts when I notice a number of my best friend Akhay who died last year.
"Why do I need that number?" I think. I am about to delete it, but then I take a pause. For some reason.
It's cold. I turn on the heater.
It has been a month since he died. I never gave a call on his number after that. Won't it look rude to delete the number in such a way? I decide to make a call. Maybe his parents will receive it. I will speak to them about our friendship. I'll tell them about the cheerful moments I had spent with my best friend.
I call on his number.
'Trrriiiiiing... Trrriiiiiing...' the caller tune rings.
I notice that I am shivering. "Because it's cold today" I say to myself. I look at the clock.
'11:32 a.m.'
The caller tune is still going on. I am about to press the red button when I hear-
"Hellllooo... Akshay speaking."
A chill runs down my spine. My body hair stand out. It's the same cheerful voice of my best friend. I slowly lift the phone to my ears.
"A... A.. Akshay?" I stammer.
He begins speaking and I too get lost in the conversation. He is the same. The same funny friend. He makes me laugh by cracking jokes. I feel completely comfortable speaking to him. The conversation continues for an hour. Finally, he asks-
"It's been a lot of days since we spoke with each other. Why didn't you call?"
Another chill goes down my spine. I whisper-
"Because..... you died."
I look at the clock.
'12:45 a.m.'
The snow outside has began to melt. The Sun has turned brighter. Small ponds of clean water form on the road. The breeze turns warmer.
I am still waiting for his reply. Still shivering. Of course, because of cold.
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Kevin Hughes
09/14/2020Aloha Pratik,
As you can tell from the thread below, you wrote a wonderful story that folks love. I gave you Five Stars...and I think you found out a little subtle fact from one of the comments. You told one of your fans that your thought this story might get four stars. And Pratik, there is a lesson in there.
The Reader determines what your story means. Not you. You can only write it. Once it is out in the Public's eye...the Reader decides how good, bad, indifferent their responses will be. You can only write...and put it out there. And sometimes, not always, but sometimes, the Reader will surprise you with their response.
Great job! Smiles, Kevin
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Kevin Hughes
09/14/2020Pratik, I have to cordially disagree...you have many fans. Gail, James, Jd, Doug, Cam, Aziz, and a whole host of us who are not your friends, although we are friendly. Friends is a very deep word, and you are lucky to have them. Technically, those of us who admire your writing, and your talents, aren't even labeled "acquaintances" because we have literally never even met each other.
Sure your group of other talented folks on your contact list, read your writings...but so do , and the people I listed, and I don't get contacts when you publish a story...I just notice you posted one. So I read it.
So, as one of your "fans" , I humbly submit that your readership is wider and deeper than your contact list!
Smiles, Kevin
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Pratik
09/14/2020Thanks Kevin. I'll remember that.
I don't have any 'fans'. They are my friends. They read my stories because I read there's. Whenever anyone of us publishes a story, we all read it as soon as we receive the notification.
:-)
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COMMENTS (8)