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Mrs. Doubtfire

By Anthony Colombo

Born 1941, M, from Santa Clara, CA, United States

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SILICON VALLEY TIMES
POLICE BLOTTER: The police reported finding two teenagers today. The police public relations officer stated their department received an anonymous phone call at approximately 2:30am. The caller stated the police would find the robbers of four liquor stores and two quickie marts in an abandoned house on River Drive and Silver Creek Road.
When the police arrived, they found William Adams 19 and Silvia Stevens 18 bound hand and foot. They had both been severely beaten. The police also said that their wounds had been treated and bandaged. In front of each, the police public relations officer said, the responding officers found, handwritten and signed confessions to the crimes as well as twenty thousand dollars in cash, four cases of cigarettes and two cases of liquor. When asked to describe their assailants William said, “they were old. The man had gray hair and a beard. The old lady looked like Mrs. Doubtfire.”
The police spokesperson said they have a dilemma in that they aren’t sure how to proceed. She said the Constitution is clear, any confessions obtained by police under torture or duress is inadmissible as evidence. These confessions, however, were not obtained by the police. So, the whole matter has been turned over to the District Attorney’s Offices for adjudication.
Anton and Bonnetta Calon were in their late sixties and had finally retired. Bonnetta worked as a cafeteria lady for twenty years. She loved her job and the kids. Anton, on the other hand, was a cop for nearly thirty years. He retired because, as he saw it, society was changing. The bad guys were being treated with kid gloves. The politicians were doing what they always did, kissing the asses of anarchist and sell our society into socialism. Now was his time.
Anton and Bonnetta were financially comfortable. They weren’t rich, but they had their social security and state pensions. They also had the income from several investments Anton had made over the years. They would take the money and bye an RV. Together they would see the world.
The camper was equipped to sleep four. It had a sink, stove, microwave oven and booth to seat four. It also had a toilet and shower. There were cupboards and closets for storage, and most import of all, it had satellite hookup for TV and cell phone reception. All the comforts of home.
Through a contact Anton made during his years as a police officer, it had some special addons. The camper was equipped with halogen lights on all four sides. When activated they could turn night into day. Anton’s friend also installed closed circuit TV on all four sides. The camera could see in regular video or infrared at the flick of a switch. The door locks were upgraded to a level 4 security. The access door to the camper area was removed and replaced with a ballistic proof door. There was only one thing left to do. Anton rented an ATV shaped like a pickup truck to save walking when they were parked. It would be towed behind the RV. They were ready for their camping trip.
Many years earlier, when their children were little, they had a converted Dodge van. Right from the factory, it had a popup roof that could be set to sleep a couple of kids. The seats were adjustable to set a table for eating or turned into a double bed. It had a sink and a stove. It was nice and inspired the family feelings that prompted a trip to Yosemite.
The family arrived just after noon and were cleared at the ranger station. They drove to their assigned camp site and began to explore. When night came, they sat around a campfire roasting marshmallows. It was the end to a perfect day. Just then, Anton heard, “he’s got a Knife!” Bonnetta ushered the children back into the van and got them ready for bed. Anton sat up the rest of the night with his duty weapon in his hand. When morning came Bonnetta was so upset that they left early. Now, however, was their time and they would complete that trip.
Anton drove route 120 to the ranger’s station where he pulled to a stop. He handed the civilian attended the copy of the reservation he had received via email. The attendant, a young lady who was working the rest of her summer vacation from USC smiled at him as she handed him a receipt for fees paid and the camp site reservation. She told him the standard instructions so he would be able to find the proper spot. Anton assured her he knew where to go and drove into the park.
They got to their assigned space and parked. Getting out of the camper after such a long drive to stretch their legs felt good. Anton off loaded the ATV for a short drive to the Yosemite Village Country store. The country store had everything a rough outdoorsman needed to survive. A couple of Stouffer’s microwavable dinners what more can you ask. One or two side trips on the way back to the camp site would be helpful to map out tomorrow’s activities, and then home. Two microwave meatloaf with mac-n-cheese dinners yum, what a day, right?
After dinner, Anton set up two folding chairs. The sun was going down and so was the daytime temperature. Anton popped the top on a Bud. Bonnetta, a tea drinker, had a glass of iced tea. they sat looking at millions of stars, stars they never seen in the city. This was the life, Anton reached out a hand and touched Bonnetta’s something he hadn’t done in as long as he could remember. The night air turned chilly. They folded up the chairs and stowed them on the back of the RV for use later and turned in for the night.
At 3am, Anton was awakened by a soft rapid knocking on the camper door. Anton flicked on the infrared camera and saw a young woman standing at the door. She was looking over her shoulder in the direction of his ATV. Near the its front fender he saw a man kneeling on one knee. On the other knee he also saw a hand holding a gun. When the young woman stepped back from the door in anticipation of its being opened, Anton saw a knife.
Anton Said, “wait a minute, I’ll turn on a light.”
“No please, don’t! He will see us,”
“Ok, let me put something on.” Anton turned to his wife. Silently, he put two fingers to his eyes and then pointed to the TV screen. His wife nodded and brought a 12-gauge shotgun to port arms. Anton then opened the door. He was ready to pull it shut as soon as the young lady was in. She stepped up and entered. Anton pulled the door shut and Bonnetta leveled the shotgun at the woman. Anton softly said, “drop the knife.” She stood eyes wide open looking at the shotgun for only a second and let the knife drop to the floor.
While Bonnetta hog tied the girl, Anton slipped out the driver’s side door. There was no light because the bulb had long sense been removed. Anton stealthily moved around the campsite to the ATV. He moved around behind the man and gently placed the barrel of his gun on the back of the man’s head. He said, “if you want to see the sun again, you’ll hand me your gun. Now slowly hold it up. There’s a good boy.” Anton took the gun and stuck it in the waist band of his pants. “Now stand and walk to the camper. You know, if you keep doing this well you may just live long enough to see a judge.” Anton knocked on the camper’s door and said, ”Bonn, it’s me. We’re ok.”

CARSON CITY MINER
Washoe County Sheriff’s Department reported finding two adults connected to two break-in-robberies and the murder of an older couple in Yosemite National Park in California. The sheriff said they received an anonymous phone call telling them they would find the couple in an abandoned house on Gold River Drive between Silver City and Virginia City. When the deputy’s arriver they found Frank Martin age 25, and Martha Raven Age 22, tied hand and foot. The deputies said both had been beaten to within an inch of their lives. In front of each, the deputies, said they found signed handwritten confessions detailing their individual actions in all the crimes as well as the exact location of all the loot, and, sadly, the bodies of the elderly couple. The deputy’s added that both had had their wounds tended to and bandaged. The sheriff told reporters that his department was facing a major problem. Confessions obtained through duress or torture by police were inadmissible as evidence. So, his department was turning the entire matter over to the Attorneys General of California and Nevada for disposition.
When asked for a description of their assailants, Martha said, “they were old. The man had gray hair and a beard. The woman looked like Mrs. Doubtfire.”

Mrs. Doubtfire(Anthony Colombo) SILICON VALLEY TIMES
POLICE BLOTTER: The police reported finding two teenagers today. The police public relations officer stated their department received an anonymous phone call at approximately 2:30am. The caller stated the police would find the robbers of four liquor stores and two quickie marts in an abandoned house on River Drive and Silver Creek Road.
When the police arrived, they found William Adams 19 and Silvia Stevens 18 bound hand and foot. They had both been severely beaten. The police also said that their wounds had been treated and bandaged. In front of each, the police public relations officer said, the responding officers found, handwritten and signed confessions to the crimes as well as twenty thousand dollars in cash, four cases of cigarettes and two cases of liquor. When asked to describe their assailants William said, “they were old. The man had gray hair and a beard. The old lady looked like Mrs. Doubtfire.”
The police spokesperson said they have a dilemma in that they aren’t sure how to proceed. She said the Constitution is clear, any confessions obtained by police under torture or duress is inadmissible as evidence. These confessions, however, were not obtained by the police. So, the whole matter has been turned over to the District Attorney’s Offices for adjudication.
Anton and Bonnetta Calon were in their late sixties and had finally retired. Bonnetta worked as a cafeteria lady for twenty years. She loved her job and the kids. Anton, on the other hand, was a cop for nearly thirty years. He retired because, as he saw it, society was changing. The bad guys were being treated with kid gloves. The politicians were doing what they always did, kissing the asses of anarchist and sell our society into socialism. Now was his time.
Anton and Bonnetta were financially comfortable. They weren’t rich, but they had their social security and state pensions. They also had the income from several investments Anton had made over the years. They would take the money and bye an RV. Together they would see the world.
The camper was equipped to sleep four. It had a sink, stove, microwave oven and booth to seat four. It also had a toilet and shower. There were cupboards and closets for storage, and most import of all, it had satellite hookup for TV and cell phone reception. All the comforts of home.
Through a contact Anton made during his years as a police officer, it had some special addons. The camper was equipped with halogen lights on all four sides. When activated they could turn night into day. Anton’s friend also installed closed circuit TV on all four sides. The camera could see in regular video or infrared at the flick of a switch. The door locks were upgraded to a level 4 security. The access door to the camper area was removed and replaced with a ballistic proof door. There was only one thing left to do. Anton rented an ATV shaped like a pickup truck to save walking when they were parked. It would be towed behind the RV. They were ready for their camping trip.
Many years earlier, when their children were little, they had a converted Dodge van. Right from the factory, it had a popup roof that could be set to sleep a couple of kids. The seats were adjustable to set a table for eating or turned into a double bed. It had a sink and a stove. It was nice and inspired the family feelings that prompted a trip to Yosemite.
The family arrived just after noon and were cleared at the ranger station. They drove to their assigned camp site and began to explore. When night came, they sat around a campfire roasting marshmallows. It was the end to a perfect day. Just then, Anton heard, “he’s got a Knife!” Bonnetta ushered the children back into the van and got them ready for bed. Anton sat up the rest of the night with his duty weapon in his hand. When morning came Bonnetta was so upset that they left early. Now, however, was their time and they would complete that trip.
Anton drove route 120 to the ranger’s station where he pulled to a stop. He handed the civilian attended the copy of the reservation he had received via email. The attendant, a young lady who was working the rest of her summer vacation from USC smiled at him as she handed him a receipt for fees paid and the camp site reservation. She told him the standard instructions so he would be able to find the proper spot. Anton assured her he knew where to go and drove into the park.
They got to their assigned space and parked. Getting out of the camper after such a long drive to stretch their legs felt good. Anton off loaded the ATV for a short drive to the Yosemite Village Country store. The country store had everything a rough outdoorsman needed to survive. A couple of Stouffer’s microwavable dinners what more can you ask. One or two side trips on the way back to the camp site would be helpful to map out tomorrow’s activities, and then home. Two microwave meatloaf with mac-n-cheese dinners yum, what a day, right?
After dinner, Anton set up two folding chairs. The sun was going down and so was the daytime temperature. Anton popped the top on a Bud. Bonnetta, a tea drinker, had a glass of iced tea. they sat looking at millions of stars, stars they never seen in the city. This was the life, Anton reached out a hand and touched Bonnetta’s something he hadn’t done in as long as he could remember. The night air turned chilly. They folded up the chairs and stowed them on the back of the RV for use later and turned in for the night.
At 3am, Anton was awakened by a soft rapid knocking on the camper door. Anton flicked on the infrared camera and saw a young woman standing at the door. She was looking over her shoulder in the direction of his ATV. Near the its front fender he saw a man kneeling on one knee. On the other knee he also saw a hand holding a gun. When the young woman stepped back from the door in anticipation of its being opened, Anton saw a knife.
Anton Said, “wait a minute, I’ll turn on a light.”
“No please, don’t! He will see us,”
“Ok, let me put something on.” Anton turned to his wife. Silently, he put two fingers to his eyes and then pointed to the TV screen. His wife nodded and brought a 12-gauge shotgun to port arms. Anton then opened the door. He was ready to pull it shut as soon as the young lady was in. She stepped up and entered. Anton pulled the door shut and Bonnetta leveled the shotgun at the woman. Anton softly said, “drop the knife.” She stood eyes wide open looking at the shotgun for only a second and let the knife drop to the floor.
While Bonnetta hog tied the girl, Anton slipped out the driver’s side door. There was no light because the bulb had long sense been removed. Anton stealthily moved around the campsite to the ATV. He moved around behind the man and gently placed the barrel of his gun on the back of the man’s head. He said, “if you want to see the sun again, you’ll hand me your gun. Now slowly hold it up. There’s a good boy.” Anton took the gun and stuck it in the waist band of his pants. “Now stand and walk to the camper. You know, if you keep doing this well you may just live long enough to see a judge.” Anton knocked on the camper’s door and said, ”Bonn, it’s me. We’re ok.”

CARSON CITY MINER
Washoe County Sheriff’s Department reported finding two adults connected to two break-in-robberies and the murder of an older couple in Yosemite National Park in California. The sheriff said they received an anonymous phone call telling them they would find the couple in an abandoned house on Gold River Drive between Silver City and Virginia City. When the deputy’s arriver they found Frank Martin age 25, and Martha Raven Age 22, tied hand and foot. The deputies said both had been beaten to within an inch of their lives. In front of each, the deputies, said they found signed handwritten confessions detailing their individual actions in all the crimes as well as the exact location of all the loot, and, sadly, the bodies of the elderly couple. The deputy’s added that both had had their wounds tended to and bandaged. The sheriff told reporters that his department was facing a major problem. Confessions obtained through duress or torture by police were inadmissible as evidence. So, his department was turning the entire matter over to the Attorneys General of California and Nevada for disposition.
When asked for a description of their assailants, Martha said, “they were old. The man had gray hair and a beard. The woman looked like Mrs. Doubtfire.”

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COMMENTS (1)

Dave Vincent

07/11/2020

As always, Mr Colombo gets right to the point. Crisp, clear imagery and character development put forth something we all have a feeling about—our youth run amok and acting out with extreme violence. Time to send them back to their parents.

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Congratulations !

Mrs. Doubtfire

COMMENTS (1)

Dave Vincent