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- Story Listed as: True Life For Teens
- Theme: Family & Friends
- Subject: Pain / Problems / Adversity
- Published: 10/04/2020
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when we met, i thought you were my destiny.
the moment you saved me from falling back,
i decided to make a step towards you. and from then,
I alone was looking at you
the way you see,
the way you smile,
the way you move your hands,
even the way you yawn,
I've seen it all.
and I alone was loving you
the way you care for your friends,
the way you cherish your family,
the way you talk with your cat,
the way you fight for them,
I've loved them all.
so I alone was hurting by you
for your gaze at her,
for your cries & pain because of her
for your breakdown because of her
and now for your success because of her
I've bore with all.
Thus, I alone was going to break up with you
For choosing the Wrong person,
for believing people easily,
for showing all your mistakes,
for not showing your struggles.
but then you came and waved
saying "do you remember me?"
what should i do with you?
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I alone(Surekha Padmam)
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when we met, i thought you were my destiny.
the moment you saved me from falling back,
i decided to make a step towards you. and from then,
I alone was looking at you
the way you see,
the way you smile,
the way you move your hands,
even the way you yawn,
I've seen it all.
and I alone was loving you
the way you care for your friends,
the way you cherish your family,
the way you talk with your cat,
the way you fight for them,
I've loved them all.
so I alone was hurting by you
for your gaze at her,
for your cries & pain because of her
for your breakdown because of her
and now for your success because of her
I've bore with all.
Thus, I alone was going to break up with you
For choosing the Wrong person,
for believing people easily,
for showing all your mistakes,
for not showing your struggles.
but then you came and waved
saying "do you remember me?"
what should i do with you?
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Clara
10/13/2020I think it's ok but it doesn't really show anything cuz it's too short but its ok.
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
JD
10/18/2020Clara, it would be nice if you would write a story for kids that you think they would enjoy reading.
Hopefully, if they don't enjoy it, they will give you constructive criticism that will help you to improve.
That is better than just saying, 'it is ok', which doesn't really help the writer understand what they might have done better. But thanks for your comment.
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Kevin Hughes
10/06/2020I agree with Gordon on your Poem, it is a Universal conundrum....when to love, when to stop, when to try harder, when to walk away. We always have a choice, and often we can't choose. Wonderful, just wonderful.
Smiles, Kevin
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Gordon England
10/05/2020A forever problem. So many women to choose from. Following the heart does not work when blinded by lust or initial attraction that soon dulls when you look through the thin laquer
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COMMENTS (6)