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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Horror
- Subject: Revenge / Poetic Justice / Karma
- Published: 11/09/2020
Room 799
Born 1951, M, from Wilmington NC, United StatesAuthor’s Note: This is my seven hundredth ninety ninth story for StoryStar.com. I chose Flash Fiction for this one. One more…and I hit a goal I never even imagined. 800.
*****
He looked at his key once again. 799 in raised gold numbers. He looked at the door. 799 in raised gold numbers. He wondered if the Clerk at the desk even knew that saying: “You can’t miss the room, Sir. The numbers are quite clear in large raised gold letters.”
“Numbers are not letters.” He mumbled quietly to himself.
He put the old fashioned Skeleton Key, made of very heavy anachronistic brass, in the keyhole. He turned it once to the left. Once to the right. Just like the Clerk said to do. The door opened. He couldn’t believe what he saw.
There was a soft glow like muted glow sticks. Then a soft soothing sound, more like a hum. He felt his body being pulled inside the room. Soft gentle hands caressed his skin, but they were holding him in a grip he couldn’t break if he tried. Or wanted to.
A woman, or maybe a very pretty man, glided towards him. A smile showed two very pointy teeth. For some reason, the man thought of an old saying: “Watch out for those pearly whites.” The room filled with laughter.
He felt two little pin pricks on his neck. A wave of euphoria. The Brass Key hit the carpeted floor once. The door closed.
In the Hallway, a small mist had formed. The Hallway seemed to shrink. The large gold numbers : 799, faded from view. As did the door.
Downstairs the Clerk smiled.
He liked renting out room 799. He smiled at the Detective in front of him.
“No Sir. No one of that description has checked in here. See for yourself.”
He spun the Register around for the Detective to look at.
The Detective shrugged. Another dead end. A lead that didn’t pan out. He hated to think that a man that dangerous, that evil, that corrupt... was still out there. He thanked the Clerk and went back out to his car.
The Clerk Smiled.
He liked renting out room 799.
No one ever checked out.
Room 799(Kevin Hughes)
Author’s Note: This is my seven hundredth ninety ninth story for StoryStar.com. I chose Flash Fiction for this one. One more…and I hit a goal I never even imagined. 800.
*****
He looked at his key once again. 799 in raised gold numbers. He looked at the door. 799 in raised gold numbers. He wondered if the Clerk at the desk even knew that saying: “You can’t miss the room, Sir. The numbers are quite clear in large raised gold letters.”
“Numbers are not letters.” He mumbled quietly to himself.
He put the old fashioned Skeleton Key, made of very heavy anachronistic brass, in the keyhole. He turned it once to the left. Once to the right. Just like the Clerk said to do. The door opened. He couldn’t believe what he saw.
There was a soft glow like muted glow sticks. Then a soft soothing sound, more like a hum. He felt his body being pulled inside the room. Soft gentle hands caressed his skin, but they were holding him in a grip he couldn’t break if he tried. Or wanted to.
A woman, or maybe a very pretty man, glided towards him. A smile showed two very pointy teeth. For some reason, the man thought of an old saying: “Watch out for those pearly whites.” The room filled with laughter.
He felt two little pin pricks on his neck. A wave of euphoria. The Brass Key hit the carpeted floor once. The door closed.
In the Hallway, a small mist had formed. The Hallway seemed to shrink. The large gold numbers : 799, faded from view. As did the door.
Downstairs the Clerk smiled.
He liked renting out room 799. He smiled at the Detective in front of him.
“No Sir. No one of that description has checked in here. See for yourself.”
He spun the Register around for the Detective to look at.
The Detective shrugged. Another dead end. A lead that didn’t pan out. He hated to think that a man that dangerous, that evil, that corrupt... was still out there. He thanked the Clerk and went back out to his car.
The Clerk Smiled.
He liked renting out room 799.
No one ever checked out.
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BEN BROWN
06/07/2021Ben Brown
I really enjoyed your story. Whenever I read such stories I wonder whether things like zombies are involved. Well done.
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JD
11/11/2020Well... they can't all be winners, Kevin! This wasn't your best, but I'm sure you'll make up for it with No. 800... whenever that comes....! But personally, I'm looking forward to 801, 802, 803, and many other numbers in the future....! :-)
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Kevin Hughes
11/12/2020Thanks Jd,
I know what you mean, but...I knew it was "bad" before I put it up. LOL I will have to learn to not hit send. LOL. Smiles, Kevin
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JD
11/12/2020It isn't 'crap'... just not your best. Like I said, they can't ALL be winners! And it's okay to have a non-winner once in a while. It shows you're human, which I sometimes forget since you usually do knock it out of the park! :-)
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Kevin Hughes
11/12/2020I agree. This is crap. I called my friend in AZ right after I wrote it and said: "I just published the worst piece of writing I ever submitted since third grade." He laughed. He wanted to know what I submitted in Third Grade. LOL It won't happen again.
I have about a gazillion excuses for posting it, none of them hold a thimble of water. LOL 800 will be better, you know, since it is an area code for free things. LOL.
Smiles, Kevin who tried for the fence and struck out.
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