So Very Alone(Shirley Smothers) My name is Susan and this is my story.

When I was nine years old my parents and I moved to a run down farmhouse. This house was in the middle of nowhere. We were miles from our nearest neighbor. I didn’t know anyone in the town that was about fifteen miles away. This made me feel so very alone.

About a month later my Ghost made his first appearance. It was a windy night. I was lying in bed trying to sleep. I heard floor boards creaking. I looked up to see my closet door slowly open. I was scared, my heart was pounding out of my chest, but I got out of bed and closed the door. I crawled back into bed. But in a few minutes I heard floor boards creaking, and the closet door came open again.

I ran as fast as I could to my parents room. I woke them screaming, "There's a Ghost in my room!" My parents assured me that Ghosts don't exist. I wanted to sleep in their room but my Dad took me back. I cried and begged the whole way not to go back into that room.

He calmly explained, "In an old house like this, all kinds of weird things happen. The wind whips through holes in the wall. The wind is the reason your door won't stay closed."

I never talked to my parents about this again. I knew my Dad would call it, "Your wild imagination." He would also say, "You're getting too old to believe in ghosts." Why couldn’t they understand that I was not making this up? This did not comfort me and it made me feel so very alone.

But my Ghost continued to visit. When I was about eleven I fashioned a crude lock. I installed it on the outside of the closet door. But this did not deter my Ghost. The lock would come undone and the door would open. I even had a friend go into the closet and try to get the lock open. She couldn’t do it but my Ghost did.

I convinced myself that this indeed was, "My wild imagination." I grew up and graduated High School. I went to college where I met my future husband Robert. We were married and had our son Bobby JR.

My husband and I had been married for a little over six years. Bobby was four years old. For the last six months Robert had become moody and depressed. I tried to help but he shunned my efforts. Robert became angry over my nagging. This made me feel so very alone.

I came to the conclusion that Robert and I needed time away from each other. But when I brought up the subject Robert became angry. He accused me of "Running out on him." After calming down and thinking it over Robert agreed that, "We do need some time away from each other."

We went to stay with my Mom. She still lives in the old farmhouse, which is a five hour drive. My Dad had passed away two years ago. On the trip Bobby assured me, "I'm a big boy and need a room by myself" After arriving I made a cozy bedroom for him in the corner of my Mom's sewing room. He was very pleased and felt like a big boy. But staying in my old room made me nervous and I again felt so very alone.

On the third night I couldn't sleep so I sat in bed reading. The closet door opened. My Ghost was back. I got out of bed and shut the door, and fastened the lock. I went back to bed and continued to read.

I heard a rattle. The lock came undone and the door opened. I lost it and yelled, "Damn it leave me alone!" The door closed, this had never happened before. I waited and watched, the door opened again. This time all my hanging clothes were on the floor.

I tried not to panic. But I had to get out of that room! I was dizzy from all the emotions coursing through me, but I walked quickly out and went to my sons room. I could see by his night light that he was peacefully sleeping.

I sat on the floor next to his bed. I asked myself, ‘What am I going to do? I can’t sleep in that room anymore?’ Finally I started to doze but was awakened by a groggy, "Mommy, Mommy wake up." I asked, "Baby what is it?" He said, "You need to say you're sorry." I asked "Sorry to who?" "You have to say you're sorry to your Ghost."

I swear my heart stopped, at least for a second. I kissed Bobby and told him to go back to sleep. I reluctantly returned to my room. I felt a cold chill running throughout my body. My clothes were still on the closet floor. But now my dresser was open and the contents strewn about.

I walked to the middle of the room even though my legs felt like putty. I said aloud, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you mad. But can't you understand how terrified you made me for years?" I felt something touch my shoulder.

I asked myself, ‘Do I turn or run?’ I turned and there he was, my Ghost. He looked to be about twenty and he had the bluest eyes. His mouth was moving but I said, "I can't hear you." He motioned for me to close my eyes. I did, now I could hear him. He said, "I'm sorry I never meant to scare you. I only came to you on days you seemed so very alone."

"Now I understand, I will leave and never bother you again." I felt something brush my cheek, like a kiss. I opened my eyes and he was gone. Not only was he gone but all my belongings had returned to their right places. I said, "Peace be with you, may you never feel so very alone."

I knew I had to go home and face Robert. I was determined not to lose him. So the next morning Bobby and I left Mother's to return home.

When we arrived I unlocked the front door. I saw the light on in Robert's study. I went in and Robert was sitting in his overstuffed chair crying. I asked, "Honey are you O.K.?"
He gave a little smile and said, "Yes." I had the strangest dream last night. I woke up and there was a man standing at the foot of the bed. He had the bluest eyes! He said, "You know you love her. If you don't work to save your marriage you'll end up so very alone."

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