Bless Me Father...(Mary Eileen Callan) Bless Me Father...

The cars whizzed past as she sashayed down the middle of Suitland Boulevard. Gas fumes filled the chilly air. When a driver slowed Ellie smiled, poked her head in the window and said, “I know how to make a man happy.” She was skinny and pasty white. In spite of the cool weather, she wore a slightly soiled tube top, a mini skirt, and spike heels. She may as well have worn a sign “This girl for hire”. She coughed into her sleeve when the wind stirred the trash and blew dust into the air.
A blond young guy in a Honda Accord waved her over to the curb. She ran in between traffic, pulled open the door and scooted in. Tony took a closer look. Ellie was in serious need of a good meal and a trip to the dentist. Her broad smile revealed two molars blackened with decay. Tony didn’t care, he wasn’t interested in her teeth, he could tell she hadn’t eaten in a while by her pinched look; her skimpy clothes hung on her. They ate at a Burger King, the smell of fried hamburgers and French fries filled the air. Once they finished the meal he drove to his favorite motel and checked in. Ellie was so friendly, cheerful and sweet he spent through the night. The next day she asked if he would drive her home. It was a rundown house on Silver Hill Road not far away.
“They rent single rooms for $50.00 a week. I’ve been here a month. It’s okay, no one has bothered me so far. She folded the money Tony gave her and slipped it into the front of her top.
“Where will you be tonight?” He asked.
“Same place after nine.”
They said their Good-byes.

Tony frowned after he drove off. For some strange reason he felt she shouldn’t be doing that, wandering down the center of Suitland Boulevard picking up men. It could be dangerous; it definitely was chancy. Any weirdo might pick her up or she could be hit by a car. She only was a prostitute and yet she had gotten under his skin.
The next three nights Tony looked for Ellie but didn’t see her. “Where is she?” He knew the answer. He wasn’t happy about it though.

Ellie hadn’t gone out the last three nights. A high fever and coughing forced her to find a walk-in clinic. Doctor Lee ordered lab work since she admitted to being a sex worker. The abnormal results caused the doctor to call the Health Department AIDS office and make an appointment that day. She was probably HIV positive. When the test results came back, he would know for sure. Soon after she was in a hospital bed in isolation. The sore throat and cold had turned into pneumonia.
After her hospital stay and a week of rest, she was back out on the street. Bills had to be paid. This time she wore a grey long-sleeved sparkly sweater and bright pink yoga pants.

One misty night Tony drove back to Suitland and thought this is the last time I go looking for her. He spotted a thin woman walking down the middle of Suitland Boulevard. It had to be Ellie. He motioned her over.
“Where have you been?”
“So, I wasn’t feeling that good, I took a couple of weeks off to rest up. But bills come due sick or not, so here I am.”
“Are you ready for a break, Ellie? We could get some food.”
“I’d love that.” She put her arm through his and they walked to Burger King. He asked her if she wanted to go back to his place in Seabrook.

'What do I do now? She wondered. Do I tell him? Then what?'


Chapter Two

“Tony, I have to tell to tell you something before we go.” She sipped her coffee and warmed her hands around the cup.
“I know all I need to know. I like you and not just the sex but you yourself.” He wiped his lips on the paper napkin.
“Once you have heard, you will want to get away from me as fast as you can.”
“I doubt it.”
Tony’s apartment was in the basement of his brother’s house. Ellie had told him of her positive HIV test; he said they would take precautions. She walked around looking at the bedroom and kitchenette. It looked cozy. I don’t think he realizes what’s involved, she thought. What if I get sick again? Still, she was very tempted.

Two weeks later Ellie was spending so much time at Tony’s apartment she began to think of it as home.
“You sure you want me to move in and don’t work anymore?”
“I’m sure.”
“I’m going to do it then.”
There was just so much cleaning Ellie could do. “Tony, I want a job, maybe at the 7-11 around the corner. There isn’t enough to do here; you are gone at your construction job most days.”
“We seem to be getting along this way so far.”
“Don’t get me wrong. This is the first time in my life I feel safe. I sleep all night and don’t have to worry someone is going to bust in. I love it here with you.” She smiled.
‘I’ll go with you to the 7-11. I want to see who your boss is, and I want him to see me just so there won’t be any trouble.”
The interview went well, and Ellie was hired.
“Mr. Sanders when do you want me to start? I’m available today if you want to show me around.” Her boss was glad he had a willing worker.

Six months passed and living arrangements were working out well. Tony seemed happy and Ellie was looking better and feeling better. The job gave her self-confidence. She saw the Doctor at the health department for medications and follow up visits. Lorraine, a health department nurse, home visited every month. She knocked at the basement door.
“How are you doing? I haven’t run into you at the clinic, everything okay?”
Ellie slumped in her chair and put her head in her hands. “I’ve got a lot on my mind these days. I just found out I’m pregnant. I want the baby, but I don’t know what Tony will think. We never talked about having kids. That makes everything more permanent. I’m very scared.”
“Today might be the day to tell him then, get it over with. You are a very strong woman you can do this; if he says he wants you to go we’ll deal with that.”
“I dread a confrontation.”
“The longer you put it off the harder it will be.”
“He gets home around four o’clock. I’ll have to tell him then. You have been awfully nice to me, you’re like an angel.”
“I’m just doing my job, but you’re sweet to say that. Whatever you both decide we need to follow you closely, so does the Maternity Clinic up the hill. When you deliver the baby, you will take special medications to help prevent transmitting the virus.”
“Oh no, I never knew that could happen.”
“New drugs are given at all HIV deliveries now-a-days. You have a lot on your plate right now. a lot to handle. Remember you are not alone. Call me tomorrow after you tell him.”


Chapter Three

“I have some news for you,” Ellie said when Tony walked in the door at four.
“No hello, no kiss?”
“I’m pregnant Tony.”
“Did you say what I think you said?”
Ellie swallowed and said it again.
He sat at the kitchen table and pulled off his work boots and then walked over and took her in his arms. His odor of sweat mixed with grease and dirt was like perfume to her. Relief poured through and she broke into tears.
“Why are you crying?”
“I wasn’t sure you what you would say.”
“I’m going to be a father!” His smile said it all.
She realized a small nerve had begun to beat in her neck and her hand was shaking as she walked to the refrigerator to get Tony a beer. While he showered, she brushed off the wet leaves that had attached themselves to his boots.
Thinking about the big day Ellie realized if their baby came on the due date it would be the same day as her father’s birthday. Memories of him still hurt, fear of him still filled her with dread. Thank God he was far away.

She loved living in the apartment. She straightened up every morning. One day while hanging up Tony’s jacket, she checked his pockets, her hand touched a thin piece of paper, a receipt from Motel 6, Silver Hill Road, dated the night he had a work meeting. The realization of what this meant weighed heavily on her mind. Things were going so well and now this. Should I confront him or let it go? She knew the answer immediately.

The baby was born two days late, uneventful other than the special medications given during birth and Tony’s panic that something would go wrong. The delivery room nurses pegged him as hyper new dad.
The next visit from Lorraine found Ellie wearing a yellow souvenir tee shirt printed with a photograph of daddy, momma and the new baby, Billy. “We went to Ocean City and had the best time. I’ve never seen the ocean before; it made that noise so soothing. We ate a huge tub of French fries and then a soft ice cream cone. The best weekend of my life.”
It was so nice to see her happy after going through such a hard time, Lorraine thought. “That’s wonderful, I’m glad you got to see the ocean. The shore is always pretty even if it’s not sunny.” She smiled at the new mother; life was good for her.

Because of her progress Lorraine spaced visits every six months now. Before the next visit was due, she took a call from the hospital. Ellie was a patient in serious condition. She had asked to have her notified. The sign on the door read ‘NO Visitors, check at the Nurse’s Station.’ She was shocked when she saw the isolation gowns and masks outside the door. The wasted figure under the sheet looked nothing like her patient.
“I look pretty bad, don’t I?” She whispered.
“You sure have had a bad time of it, haven’t you?” Lorraine walked to the bed.
“Tony’s mother is caring for Billy since I’ve been sick. She loves him and wants to raise him. I can’t live at the apartment anymore; I need medical care. I’m going to a nursing home and start on Hospice. I wanted to say good-bye to my Angel.” The speech made her breathless.
“You’ll be missed; you’ve made a lot of people happy. Tony and you made a good life together for Billy.” Lorraine swallowed her tears and took Ellie’s hand and held it for a while. When she drifted off to sleep, the health department nurse stumbled toward the door.

Lorraine took a call from the nursing home. “Ellie asked me to contact you. It’s almost the end. You come when you can.”
As Lorraine drove through the spitting snow, she thought this time tomorrow it will be over.

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