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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Mystery
- Subject: Pain / Problems / Adversity
- Published: 09/03/2021
Caught Up
"Hello! Hello! Can anybody hear me? I didn't see anything; I promise." The car suddenly stopped; I thought this was the end and that they were about to kill me. A man in a ski mask opened the trunk and took me out and told me to walk. He told me to sit down, so I did. He took off my blindfold before going back to his car and tossing my brother out of the backseat.
"Tony! Tony!" I yelled, as the man in the black ski mask drove off. My brother seemed to be unharmed, although like me a little beaten up. I looked around trying to see where we were, and I realized by the sand that it was a desert. I told Tony I would find a way to get us out of these ropes, although I truly had no idea how to get out of them. I suddenly caught an idea: the knife, the knife, I remembered. I'd always kept a small knife in my back pocket. They'd beaten me up so badly that I'd forgotten all about it. "Tony, grab the knife out my back pocket." I moved closer and Tony grabbed the knife and cut me loose. Then I cut him loose. After we were freed, I hugged Tony tighter than ever before for almost thirty minutes, but I knew our problems were only just beginning.
"It's so dark out here," I told Tony, "Where do you think we are?" He didn't answer. I knew this was all my fault, and I didn't know if he would ever forgive me. As we walked, I could hear the coyotes howling. It scared my brother, but I'd heard them plenty times before.
"Tony, why do you think they didn't kill us?"
He finally spoke to me and said, "I guess they wanted us to have a slow death. You just had to steal from the cartel Jack, the CARTEL! Are you stupid or just dumb? Don't even answer that Jack."
I had nothing to say; he was right. I had stolen 4.1 million dollars in drug money from the Cartel. We were lucky to still be alive.
We walked for hours. It's so cold in the desert at night. I was so tired and so was my brother. We came upon an old car with no tires and holes in the windows. It was somewhere warm enough to sleep, so I slept in the front and my brother slept in the back.
The next morning, I woke up, and it was blazing hot; it had to be at least 90 degrees. I was so hungry; I hadn't eaten anything since the morning they kidnapped us. I woke up Tony, who still wasn't speaking to me and told him we had to keep moving. We walked and walked. I eventually realized we were deep in the Mojave Desert. There are no towns or roads or anything out here.
"Tony, we've got to find some type of food or water." Tony started running. "Tony, where are you going?!" I chased after him and he led me to a cactus.
"Cacti have water in them, you fool. Give me your knife Jack."
I gave it to him and he cut the cactus open. There it was—WATER! We drank and drank as much as we could before we continued walking. Food was the one thing we could not find, although we found many cacti with water to drink. The sight of cacti also started to grow scarce. Eventually we were hungry and thirsty. I looked back and saw Tony had collapsed, and then I saw in the distance a sand storm coming.
"Get up, Tony! Get up!" I yelled as loudly as I could.
Although Tony wouldn't wake up, he had a pulse, so I dragged him behind a nearby small pit and covered it with my jacket to protect us.
"I got you, Tony. We're going to make it out of this. I know this is all my fault, man. I'm sorry."
Oh GOD, is this how it's going to end? I promise if you let me make it out of this desert, I'll never steal again. I was tired and fell asleep. I dreamed of how things were before I got into the drug life.
Tony and I had played football for Mexico State. I played quarterback, and he played receiver; we were the best duo in college. The fourth game of the season I injured my arm. When I went to the doctor, he told me I'd never be able to play football again. I lost my scholarship, but Tony kept his. We hadn't really talked since. I needed a way to pay for college so I got a job; however, I wasn't making enough money.
One day this man approached me and asked if I wanted to make some extra money. I was stupid and accepted his offer. I sold drugs for more than three months; however, I never knew exactly who I was selling for. The money was always good, so I didn't complain, until one day as I walked to class. I was grabbed and thrown into a moving van with a bag on my head. They spoke Spanish, so I couldn't understand them. I was told to get out and walk when we stopped. When they took off the bag in front of me, there stood a fat man.
"Hello, Chris. My name is Julián Cartel, and I would like to welcome you to the family," the fat man said.
"Did you say Cartel?" I asked.
The fat man said, "Yes, Chris, the cartel."
I woke up and it was still dark. Tony was still asleep. I tried to wake Tony, but he would not wake up, so I checked his pulse. His heart was still beating. I picked Tony up and ran as far as I could until I found a cactus. I knew Tony was probably dehydrated. I gave him some water, and he began to cough.
"Oh man, I thought I lost you," I told Tony.
We sat in the sand and drank the water from the cactus for a little. Then we began to start walking again. As we were walking, I thought about the fat man and how I should've never stolen from him. I got too cocky and thought I could get away with it.
The day I met the fat man he told me that I was to transport drugs for him from state to state. If I were to refuse, he said he would kill me and my entire family, even though Tony and I didn't have much family left. I moved drugs for the fat man for at least a year; however, I wanted a better life. I thought up a plan to rob the fat man and leave the country. I robbed one of the fat man's money trucks with a few people I hired to help me. We got away with it at first and split the money, but I guess you could say the fat man caught up with me. As we walked through the desert, I thought about my sins and if this would be the end. God have mercy on my soul...
Caught up(James)
Caught Up
"Hello! Hello! Can anybody hear me? I didn't see anything; I promise." The car suddenly stopped; I thought this was the end and that they were about to kill me. A man in a ski mask opened the trunk and took me out and told me to walk. He told me to sit down, so I did. He took off my blindfold before going back to his car and tossing my brother out of the backseat.
"Tony! Tony!" I yelled, as the man in the black ski mask drove off. My brother seemed to be unharmed, although like me a little beaten up. I looked around trying to see where we were, and I realized by the sand that it was a desert. I told Tony I would find a way to get us out of these ropes, although I truly had no idea how to get out of them. I suddenly caught an idea: the knife, the knife, I remembered. I'd always kept a small knife in my back pocket. They'd beaten me up so badly that I'd forgotten all about it. "Tony, grab the knife out my back pocket." I moved closer and Tony grabbed the knife and cut me loose. Then I cut him loose. After we were freed, I hugged Tony tighter than ever before for almost thirty minutes, but I knew our problems were only just beginning.
"It's so dark out here," I told Tony, "Where do you think we are?" He didn't answer. I knew this was all my fault, and I didn't know if he would ever forgive me. As we walked, I could hear the coyotes howling. It scared my brother, but I'd heard them plenty times before.
"Tony, why do you think they didn't kill us?"
He finally spoke to me and said, "I guess they wanted us to have a slow death. You just had to steal from the cartel Jack, the CARTEL! Are you stupid or just dumb? Don't even answer that Jack."
I had nothing to say; he was right. I had stolen 4.1 million dollars in drug money from the Cartel. We were lucky to still be alive.
We walked for hours. It's so cold in the desert at night. I was so tired and so was my brother. We came upon an old car with no tires and holes in the windows. It was somewhere warm enough to sleep, so I slept in the front and my brother slept in the back.
The next morning, I woke up, and it was blazing hot; it had to be at least 90 degrees. I was so hungry; I hadn't eaten anything since the morning they kidnapped us. I woke up Tony, who still wasn't speaking to me and told him we had to keep moving. We walked and walked. I eventually realized we were deep in the Mojave Desert. There are no towns or roads or anything out here.
"Tony, we've got to find some type of food or water." Tony started running. "Tony, where are you going?!" I chased after him and he led me to a cactus.
"Cacti have water in them, you fool. Give me your knife Jack."
I gave it to him and he cut the cactus open. There it was—WATER! We drank and drank as much as we could before we continued walking. Food was the one thing we could not find, although we found many cacti with water to drink. The sight of cacti also started to grow scarce. Eventually we were hungry and thirsty. I looked back and saw Tony had collapsed, and then I saw in the distance a sand storm coming.
"Get up, Tony! Get up!" I yelled as loudly as I could.
Although Tony wouldn't wake up, he had a pulse, so I dragged him behind a nearby small pit and covered it with my jacket to protect us.
"I got you, Tony. We're going to make it out of this. I know this is all my fault, man. I'm sorry."
Oh GOD, is this how it's going to end? I promise if you let me make it out of this desert, I'll never steal again. I was tired and fell asleep. I dreamed of how things were before I got into the drug life.
Tony and I had played football for Mexico State. I played quarterback, and he played receiver; we were the best duo in college. The fourth game of the season I injured my arm. When I went to the doctor, he told me I'd never be able to play football again. I lost my scholarship, but Tony kept his. We hadn't really talked since. I needed a way to pay for college so I got a job; however, I wasn't making enough money.
One day this man approached me and asked if I wanted to make some extra money. I was stupid and accepted his offer. I sold drugs for more than three months; however, I never knew exactly who I was selling for. The money was always good, so I didn't complain, until one day as I walked to class. I was grabbed and thrown into a moving van with a bag on my head. They spoke Spanish, so I couldn't understand them. I was told to get out and walk when we stopped. When they took off the bag in front of me, there stood a fat man.
"Hello, Chris. My name is Julián Cartel, and I would like to welcome you to the family," the fat man said.
"Did you say Cartel?" I asked.
The fat man said, "Yes, Chris, the cartel."
I woke up and it was still dark. Tony was still asleep. I tried to wake Tony, but he would not wake up, so I checked his pulse. His heart was still beating. I picked Tony up and ran as far as I could until I found a cactus. I knew Tony was probably dehydrated. I gave him some water, and he began to cough.
"Oh man, I thought I lost you," I told Tony.
We sat in the sand and drank the water from the cactus for a little. Then we began to start walking again. As we were walking, I thought about the fat man and how I should've never stolen from him. I got too cocky and thought I could get away with it.
The day I met the fat man he told me that I was to transport drugs for him from state to state. If I were to refuse, he said he would kill me and my entire family, even though Tony and I didn't have much family left. I moved drugs for the fat man for at least a year; however, I wanted a better life. I thought up a plan to rob the fat man and leave the country. I robbed one of the fat man's money trucks with a few people I hired to help me. We got away with it at first and split the money, but I guess you could say the fat man caught up with me. As we walked through the desert, I thought about my sins and if this would be the end. God have mercy on my soul...
Radrook
09/03/2021Very interesting story that caught and held my attention until the very end. I especialy like how you used flashback to provide background info. True, it ended a bit abruptly, but that is characteristic of the genre called flash fiction, and at approx 1,200 words, this is definitely flash fiction. Of course, many short stories that end this way can be used as the intro to a longer story or even a novel. Thanks for sharing.
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JD
09/03/2021Seems like the beginning of a longer story that was simply cut off at the end with the rest of the story missing. But as it is, I think it provides a good cautionary tale about why not to become a criminal nor mess with those who are. Thanks for sharing your short story on Storystar, James.
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