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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Horror
- Subject: Creatures & Monsters
- Published: 09/15/2021
Invited
Born 1976, M, from Whitechapel, Australia
Unlif looked upward, certain of late that he could hear the stirring of something above him; something telling him that today was not one for the usual routine. Today was different. Were the old gods awakening perhaps? Each day for the last month or more, he’d ignored the tree and the gods and whatever else it was that wanted him to do the things he had little inclination to do.
Venturing outside could mean illness. Hospitalization. Even a death sentence. But something whispered in words inside of his skull—he would be safe. He just had to open the door.
He put on the one pair of jeans that passed for clean and buttoned up his plaid shirt as he made for the door. The tree with its shimmering leaves might just be the start. Maybe he would cross the road, take a left then another, then run across the oval and disappear into the lane that wound down to a long strip of national park, ultimately leading to the river. He would reconnect with the outside; with forgotten things. Ancient things. He would be cleansed. He would be safe.
Something suddenly felt wrong. Unlif patted his pockets and ran a hand across his unshaven chin: his mask—where was his mask? Pathogenic perils aside, the cops were always around and only too happy to hand out plague-related citations. Where was his bloody mask? The ceiling seemed to thrum with the god’s growing impatience, and Unlif shrugged up at them, though he felt a little nuts doing it.
He checked the usual places: in the washer, the dryer, the laundry hamper, as well as the pile of stuff at the foot of his bed. Nothing. Maybe today was one for staying in—yet again. Spontaneity probably wasn’t his thing after all. Was the manhole cover in the hallway always ajar like that?
A face appeared in the darkness above, and Unlif just stared. There were hands too, like the spiders that haunted the high corners on sultry nights, and something lowered itself down onto the floor with a thud. The figure moved quickly; it came at Unlif, piercing his flesh with painfully dull claws, and in the eternity of that horrific moment, through the servery in the living room wall, he caught sight of the oak still swaying outside; it seemed to fall still as soon as he did.
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Madhu Mangal Sinha
08/25/2022Excellent narration, unshaven chin the words are so beautiful. Thank you, sir.
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Shirley Smothers
03/13/2022Congratulations on Story star of the week! I just had to reread this. Scary and great story.
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Lillian Kazmierczak
03/07/2022Congratulations on the short story star of the week. This story was really good!
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Kevin Hughes
09/22/2021OK Jason,
As you can tell by the thread everybody loves your story. Including me. However I seem to of missed the point. I guess because I'm autistic! I have a devil of a time with both sarcasm and satire.
Although because there are so much of both in our world are usually I'm able to get a glimpse. So I wasn't sure on your story if the point was if we stay inside we are all going to parish or if we go outside we don't need a mask but we will be safe as long as we're not around people.
Radrook and you both seem to be on the same pageAnd I don't seem to be on the same book. LOL and now I'm scared of manhole covers in houses. Smiles, Kevin
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Kevin Hughes
09/23/2021Aloha Jason,
Sadly no complete volumes of memories. I am not sure how many memories are real: time, age, and changing attitudes have tinted many of them. As my children told me once: "Dad, it is a good thing you played sports when you were younger because it improved your memory. So much so that now you can remember things that never happened. " I laughed. Because in my memories, I was a much better Athlete than I actually was. LOL
Smiles, Kevin
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Jason James Parker
09/22/2021Kevin,
I've always loved your stories. It stands to reason that the story you've included in your comments is absolutely captivating, as well as being true! Thank you for sharing it. What a genuinely terrifying excursion, and I'm very relieved that it turned out for the best. Please tell me that you're working on a complete volume of memoires. : )
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Kevin Hughes
09/22/2021Hey Jason,
Thank you for the explanation and I understand it. And I to, and creeped out by manholes and attic ladders. I actually have a true manhole story.
When I was a kid in the inner-city me and three of my buddies all of us 10 years old found an open manhole. It had metal rungs down the side of a curved wall. It led down about 30 feet. We’re connected with a larger tunnel that we could stand up in. Rats live down there. Until you’ve seen a sewer rat in person you have no idea how big they can get – and they are fearless. luckily they did scamper away from our flashlight beams and us. We were in water about a foot deep.
We must’ve walked for a quarter of a mile or more where we saw a light at the end of the tunnel. When we got there it turned out to be a drain pipe about 25 feet above the surface of the lake below. We had no idea how we were going to get out. We backtracked and climb vac out of that manhole.
The next day we went back and the manhole cover was back in place. We often wondered when we got older what would’ve happened to us had somebody put that manhole cover back while we were down there.
And that would make a very scary story. Smiles, Kevin
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Carol MC.
09/22/2021What a great story. I loved how you describe in such detail what is going on, is like I was actually there in the scene too. I also liked how you engaged us with the mask issue, something we all have had to endure. It was really good! Looking forward to read more of your stories.
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Lillian Kazmierczak
09/21/2021What a great story. I love how you took something we are all so familiar with then added a twist and made the story so much more sobering. I really liked the hook at the end about him and the tree falling still in the same moment. I'm looking forward to reading some more of your stories!
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Jason James Parker
09/21/2021Thank you, Lillian. I initially avoided writing anything to do with covid, but it's such an ingrained part of our reality now. I appreciate your comments very much. : )
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Sidra
09/21/2021WOW!! Kept me hooked till the very end!! And the detailed description in the first paragraph transported me right into the setting of the story. Such an interesting read!
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Hazel Dow
09/21/2021Oh wow! Congratulations on Story Star of the Day, well deserved. Sure as heck gave me the creeps :-o
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Jason James Parker
09/21/2021Thank you so much, Hazel. That's a huge compliment coming from you. : )
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Bernardo Mendes
09/21/2021That was something else... an amazing story, extremely well written and creepy, overall my kind of story.
Thank you for this short story, Jason!
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Jane Lockyer Willis
09/21/2021As usual Jason, your artistry, your superb gift for language shone through. Your writing is wrought with creative tensions and at times is quite brilliant. I read it willing for a happy ending. Alas - no!
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Jason James Parker
09/21/2021Thank you, Jane, for your very encouraging comments. I really appreciate it. : )
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Radrook
09/16/2021At the very start, I was enthralled by the imagery and your masterful command of language. There is much to learn from that first paragraph. I like the way that things are kept vague, and how significant things, such as the identity of the gods, and the exact nature of the circumstances, are merely hinted at, leaving the reader's imagination to fill in the gaps. A very interesting story indeed. Thanks for sharing.
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Jason James Parker
09/16/2021Thank you so much, Radrook. Those are such excellent compliments--especially coming from a writer as skilful as yourself. You certainly picked up on what I was trying to do with this piece. : )
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Martha Huett
09/16/2021True horror. My God Jason. Everything was manageable until that damned manhole cover left ajar showed up in the story and I got delightfully creeped out. Stuff of nightmares, as Gail says. PS. I would like my mask to smell like hops and sweet sativa.
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Jason James Parker
09/16/2021Thank you for reading, Martha, and for your very encouraging words. Also, I'm on board for the very same scented mask! Where do I sign up? : )
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Gail Moore
09/15/2021Creepy, the stuff nightmares are made of. Fantastic :-)
Yes, those bloody masks. I'm so over them :-)
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Jason James Parker
09/16/2021Lol. I think if you, Martha, and I went into business with our scented masks, we'd make a fortune! : )
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Jason James Parker
09/15/2021Thank you, Gail. I wish someone would come up with a mask made of beef jerky and scented with single malt... : )
COMMENTS (19)