North Star(Kanishka Roy) Author's Note- This is a recent event that took place in my life. Probably the first of many to come. The following is an impersonal letter I wish I did not have to write, but one that I need to share.


Hey Rhea,
There is this phrase used very widely in our industry- Find your true north! In ancient times sailors used to navigate their ships with the north star as the reference point. It did not matter how many times a ship would lose its way, the north star would always steer it in its right path.
I cannot think of a better way to describe you. You have been my north star all this while, as wise and as beautiful. Being a mere mortal, observing you from a fragile ship, I never realized that even the celestials can feel alone. That is what our relationship was. I, the fascinated admirer, and you, the glowing star. Amidst all your radiance, there was a darkness at your crux, a feeling that you are not loved, a feeling that you cannot love.
I do not agree. I believe with all my soul that you are loved and now you will be someone else’s star- as bright and warm as ever. I found my way because of you. I have learned to love myself. I do not need to believe in myself because I know you do. And that is enough.
My only regret is that I could not be for you, what you were for me. And for that I am sorry. I was too afraid to do what was necessary for our happy ending. Having said that I am also sure that you guys are going to fall in love hard and be the happiest with each other.
Frankly I do not understand the universe’s ways. I did not realize I needed you before you came along. And now the universe has spoken- I cannot have you. Whatever happened, and whichever reason it happened for I wouldn’t change a thing about our time together, even the lame dad jokes.
So even though our hearts broke and I cried like a baby, I was grateful for the pain. Because I did not know what love is supposed to feel like. But when my eyes flooded with tears with your voice ringing in my ears, I knew that I loved you with my heart. And maybe Sayed and you did not have what we had, but god does he love you. And that is the purer kind.
As Vision rightly said in age of Ultron, “A thing isn’t beautiful because it lasts forever”. I am just happy that it happened. You asked me to never settle for less, and trust me I won’t. But I am also sure that my north star was the rarest to find. Thanks for everything love. You’re amazing. I am certain you will be the best at everything, and you will end the cycle of pain that your mother caused.
AND don’t YOU dare think for a second that this is the end. You are my guide and whenever you feel that this funny looking man-child has forgotten about you, just remember I am always looking up at the sky, admiring my north star.
I want to end this how I ended our last conversation.
I love you. And I will never stop loving the days I loved you.

Yours lovingly,
The guy with the raging hormones


P.S. Keep smiling!

---