The honest mirror(Hawsat Khedir Rasul) It was 15th October, the dark clouds surrounded the silvery stars and the golden half-moon. A light breeze was smacking the red and yellow fallen leaves as they fell gracefully from the trees, I stepped into the garden behind my home, my mind went back to the past three years ago. When I have heard my mother’s voice last time; I was alone at home such as the certain moment that I speak k. My phone call was ringing when I was in the bathroom, I have a white -towel wrapped me, I went to the cellphone on the table but I had not got it, the ringing began again I pressed the answer button it was my mom’’ hey honey how are you, why do not pick up your phone? ‘’
I took a deep breath that nothing wrong with them’’ sorry mom I was in the bathroom. How is your journey have you enjoyed at all?’’
I just have heard the hooter sound bib…bib, my mother exclaimed.
‘’ mom are you okay? Can you hear me? mom!’’ the phone ended. My both hands started shuddering when I heard my mom for the last time the phone failed from my hand then I got her call from my best friend Dency I pressed the call and said nothing’’ hey Marina how are you, I am sorry Marina I won’t leave here anymore I have found a job in New York and I have to move there,

I did not have to tell you the matter, I missed so much. She started sobbing ‘’Marina…are you okay Marina!’’ I locked the phone ‘’ I still don’t let a single word let out from my mouth why did they leave me at the same time? Why? Why?’’ I bowed down to my knee and did not move for a while the phone was ringing again, it was from the police station:’’ are you Mariana? Here’s a car accident that happened between a van and a vehicle, we are not certain whether if the two hh are your parents or not o, so we need you in the police office to insure about the reason. thanks for your help The phone failed down from my hand again, it had broken into small parts. I pressed me both against my two ears, I was shouting and screaming’’ everyone left me in the same time, in ate darkest hour ?’’ and I do not know why I have the same feeling tonight, I think somebody comes to me, someone will call me tonight and inform me by saying’’ I am here for you are I want to embrace you tightly; I will comb your hair with my fingers and curl it just like the bunches of daffodils. So what if it comes to true?’’ I looked at the phone every minute, every second but no one call me.

I Have been waiting for someone who would enter my life again for three years, but maybe is one would appear right now? What if someone… I look at my house, it looks like e a perfect ghost house, it was dark and silently empty such as my isolated heart. I walked into the garden behind my home, the wind made me feel trembling and my hair blew In my face. I tried to stay warm with a thick white wool shawl. I opened the airplane mode, and put headsets into my ears, and play a la classic melody music then closed my eyes and threw my arms into the air I looked like a fantastic fairy in the sky, then the clouds got closer, and it turned to rain. It was just drizzling at first. I stood out and rested my both hands ought to catch the raindrops, but then the music paused and the phone screen showed lowering battery attention.

then suddenly I heard footsteps behind me, ‘’ is there anybody here?’’ I asked and turned around, but I could not see anyone, my mobile turned off, the light breeze shakes off the tree leaves in the garden’’ someone going kidnap me tonight!’’ I thought if I was surrounded by a group of unknown creators, but I had not seen any of them.’’ help! Help ghosts attacked me outside please help ’’ I exclaimed and ran toward home, but I forgot that I am alone and there was not anybody else at home except me. The leaves cluttered under my feet, the dark shadow behind the willow trees in the garden, and thee shaken thick leaves were like some blackbirds rosed up and start flying, I opened the door locks hopelessly, I was still alone in the house, the unknown person had not arrived yet, who I waited for. Again I crouched down to my knees, and tears were not failed from my eyes anymore.

then I went to a small chair toward the sizable half-broken mirror, stared at my two black eyeballs they were dark and large, my dark eyes and paled color with my black shining hair cast down on my shoulders, shining my white tooth ‘’ she is the real ghost!’’ I said with exclaiming as if I stared at someone else in the mirror. ‘’ but it is me, how idiot am I there is no one but me, again I forgot that I stayed home alone I remembered once upon a time my mother preached to me to not look in a mirror if I stay alone especially at night’’ she was right I noticed late because I can not even recognize my face in the mirror’’ I stood up heavily and turned off the lamps, I assured my self that there is no one home except me only me.

Then I stretched in my bed I felt my heartbeat quickly and the sound of the tic tacking of the clock’’ I need silence let me listen to my heart sound’’ the clock hand still swirl around tick-tack …tick-tack can be heard more and more, and the sound tick tacking in my ear such as someone hitting my top head with hummer’’ shut up!’’ I screamed and threw my cellphone toward, it failed down from the wall to the floor and the broken piece of glasses scattered around’’ I told you to be quiet, and it is the result of your naughtiness ‘’ I said to the clock which hung on the wall as I fight with someone else, then I went back to my bed again I closed my both eyes and I made a wish if I could sleep and glimpse sweet dreams, and wake up if only twilight ended up, then I will not stay home alone, and I won’t see ghosts anymore.
I closed my eyes I found myself in a dark forest I saw a gesture subject come toward me step by step got cl to feel my heart flattering went faster, then I realized that it was a woman she covered her eyes and her half nose, I could only saw her red lips and her sharp chin, she wore a black jerk jacket with a detachable wood which covered her half-face, a chain rope neckless carried ahead medial lion on her breast. She got closer, and I still stared at her as I had seen her somewhere else, she embraced me tightly

‘’please stop…stop I exclaimed. You are going to break my ribs’ But she was persisted as if she had not heard my voice ‘’ your life going to be better, just wait and see, if you can find me, you will rid of being alone in a dark empty home. I know that you have suffered a lot let it turn out ’’ my mouth opened widely ‘’really! So when do you come ? From where I can find you just tell me’’ this time I threw my arm around her, but she did not answer still I embrace her tighter ‘’ from where answer me please’’ I asked again ‘’ from everywhere and any time I always with you, I love you more than anyone else more than the number of snowflakes winter or autumn dead leaves more that the ocean waves, I have the fortunate seed to your cultivated heart, you have the treasure and I have the key lets enrich together ’’ she whispered in my ear and her voice did not get in my ear regularly, she was shivering as if it was her last moments and take a deep breath.


I woke up sweating’’ it was just a dream, a silly dream. But why her voice still resonating in my ear?’’
‘’ may I have look for her?’’
‘’no! it is such as any other dreams which you had seen before’’
‘’but I hear a shout from my inside and it exclaimed that , she is real!’’
‘’ it is not about your damn heart’’
‘’ You can’t see the reality’’
‘’shut up both of you, my mind going to explode inside’’ I muttered if there is two men quarreling and I was a judge between two of them. But they were my mind fight with heart.
I have to find her, no matter how much I ought to struggle it is my last decision ’’ I found the oyster in the desert !, how can I let her go?’’ She inspired me in a dream, so what…what if she is real ?’’ I laid my head on the pillow again, it was 4:00 am still too dark to go outside home alone and search for her, I tried to sleep again, but I could not, I have just closed my eyes and imagined her if I can find her in somewhere, nothing and no one has able to stop me to ask about her, I have to wait for sunrise lighten and the ghosts ill go away from my home, then I will go out and search for her’’ lied my head on my pillow again.
Still, the willow branches shake with the wind and the leaves can not stop falling, sunshine would come into my room through the window glass if it was not blocked by the heavy clouds., I stood up, and pulled out my nightdresses, and wore a dark blue wool blouse flannel with my black jerk jeans take my black jerk knee coat and I put on my long black boots and takes to knee black hooded coat, and went out. The abandoned raindrops on the blooms and leaves gave fragrance smell and a fresh. I passed through the wet streets people held their umbrellas some others went by taxi or their cars to protect themselves from raindrops, but they did not know the taste of running under the storm and getting wet with the fresh crystal drops raining drops came down from the sky, then rain became shower I use my breath to warm my hands.

Then a mist shut off my vision and I start running to uncertain direction I crossed the road and turned left , then I found me in a dark willow forest, I swiveled around and glanced at the place it was the same which I have seen in my dream last night ‘’ show up in somewhere I can not wait any more ‘’ I shouted and pressed my two bruising hands around my mouth’’ do not break your promise please you said that you love me so much more than I love my self or anyone else, you have backed off have not you?’’ I called so much, but I can hear nothing except my voice echoing behind the mountains, I kneeled down and tears could not stop falling down from my eyes I threw my arms surround my knees ‘’ I am only a foolish empty head girl I have to know she is just delusion and no one can stay forever with me just like anyone else she will never stay with me and I believed in her foolishly’’ the shower raining drops dampened me from my top head to my feet, I pulled the hood from my back coat to my head, I walked slowly and put my hands in to my jeans pockets, hit the small stones and pebbles with my tiptoe. The street was empty more than before a few hours earl’’ you are useless, you are fake, and you are liar. I must rid from you the fake useless mirror’’. Then I arrived home and I wish if the road could be longer, but it was not, I opened the door lock and entered my room despite my wet clothes and boots, I went to the mirror and bloomed my right hand I want to break it with it, but I opened my eyes but wait! What can I see in the mirror? A girl's half covered face with a black hood, only her chain and rosy lips are visible’ ’it is the girl whom I saw in my dream last night’’ I opened my hand and remove the hood from my face ‘’who is she?’’ I asked with surprise.
‘’she is you’’ the inner voice answered me back.
‘’ no! it can’t be true, she is a ghost I must remove her image’’
visible’ ’it is the girl whom I saw in my dream last night’’ I opened my hand and remove the hood from my face ‘’who is she?’’ I asked with surprise.
‘’she is you’’ the inner voice answered me back.
‘’ no! it can’t be true, she is a ghost I must remove her image’’
’image is easy for removing, but what can you do with someone who is your heart’s settler?’’ the voice said with ironic sound.
‘’ what do you want from me?’’ I asked with crying.
‘’just accept me as your inner thought’’ it answered seriously.

’what if I don’t’’
’ I am with you and I am your second side, I am always with you. Whether if you want or not’
‘’Why don’t have you come before, while you knew how much I felt loneliness?’’ everyone takes care of you more than anyone can do it, I of everyone more than anyone, I am the closest one to you, I was already there but you have searched for me outside so do not go far away. I am here for you forever you can leave everyone and run away from them but not me you take care of everyone but not me you think that you are alone, but you forget me, but every e left you except me, no one stays with you but me, so dear me do not think about your empty house I am here in your side your heart and your soul, ’’




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