Kendall(Michelle O'Donnell) •∞• Chapter 1 •∞•


My alarm clock wakes me up with the usual 6am wake up call for school. I slam my hand down on the snooze button then wait in my bed for a couple lazy minutes. I tend to be the first person awake in my house. I walk by my brothers’ room & hear him snoring and speaking some gibberish in his sleep. I eat a quick breakfast and head out in my Dad’s hand–me- down jeep.
Five years ago my dad passed away from a terrible car accident. That was definitely a tough time for my family and I. Our family doesn’t feel the same since his passing. When the funeral came around I wrote a song about him and sung it in front of everyone with my guitar. It was a very emotional day for everyone. My Dad always supported me in everything I did and what I was passionate about. He was undeniably one of my heroes, and still is.
These days my mom is dating a guy named Rick. He’s okay, but I feel like we never connect; same with my older brother, Kevin. Rick seems to ask me about the same thing, like, “How’s school? Doing any sports YET? You like to hike, because I really do?” Does he even listen to what my brother and I tell him? After all they have been dating for a little over a year now.

But let’s move on from the sad stuff and onto the school subject. I don’t live far from my school and my friends and I usually like to meet up outside the front of the school before our classes start. I wouldn’t say at school I’m a real popular guy, but I’ve got a couple really close friends that I trust.

One of my best friends is Ariana; we’ve been friends for about five years now. She’s a tough cookie & can be a tomboy when she wants to. I tease her a lot about it, but then she jokes that I’m more feminine than her at times & we just laugh it off.

My other best friend is Logan; I’ve known him since the 4th grade, and we’ve always been close like brothers. He aims for high grades in school and always stays on his best behavior. It’s mostly because his parents want him to be that way. I sympathize with him trying to live up to their standards all the time. But he can do it, and has been. Whenever we’re together, trouble isn’t far, and we can usually talk about anything with each other.
I finally arrive at my school & see my friends hanging out in the front of the school waiting for me. We greet each other & head inside. We walk to my locker and I grab some text books for my classes…


Logan: *taps my arm* Hey man, did you do the Chem. homework?

Me: Mr. A-plus have an off night?

L: Oh come on, man. My sister needed help with her own homework, and so I got a little carried away and had like nooo time to finish mine!

Me: OKAY, okay, I believe you *I give him a smirk

L: *shakes his head at me*

Me: *I chuckle at her* I think I ignored all my homework last night. Oops

Ariana: *widens her eyes* Wait we HAD Chem. homework?

Me: Somebody’s still sleeping

A: Hey, this is no time for sass

A: Ya think or ya know?

Me: *I slam my locker shut* I knooow

*The bell rings for first period class…*

Me: Damn that bell. I guess I’ll see you guys later

A: Maybe

Me: Love you

A: *shrugs* Love you too

L: Peace bro

Me: Lata!

I speed walk into my English classroom & find my desk. Mr. Hayes—my teacher—gives me a side eye and continues speaking to the class. All this month we’ve been reading the play: “Romeo & Juliet.” Mr. H. likes to give us parts to read out loud to the class. He assigned me the part of Juliet & another boy in our class, Drew—who sits next to me—reads Romeo’s part. We’ve partnered up and read a couple of pages together and I catch myself staring at his lips whenever he reads his lines. They’re so thin and pretty; I can’t help admiring them for some reason. I could barley hear him speaking, because I somehow managed to drown out all the other sounds around me as I shifted my eyes up to his eyes; they’re a nice dark brown color to compliment his brown hair—?

Mr. Hayes: Kendall?

Me: *I look up at my teacher a little frazzled* Uuuh yes?

Mr. Hayes: It’s your turn to read

Me: UUUUH… *I look down at my book in my hand*

Drew: *leans over to me* Page 20, buddy *gives me a little smile*

Me: Right, thanks *I let out a deep sigh & start reading*

After class ends, I start to wonder why I keep thinking about Drew and his lips all the time. I’ve been doing it a lot lately, not just with Drew, but with other guys. Why? Maybe I should talk to someone about it—no cause then they’d know that I’m having all these conflicting feelings and no one would want to talk to ME about THAT. Right?

After last period I walk to my locker, take a deep breath, & brace myself for what comes next. Almost every day around the same time, I get harassed by a bully— Alex—a.k.a. the biggest jerk-off in our grade and possibly the whole school. Before I’m able to grab something out from my locker I get shoved to the right and get my back slammed into a bunch of lockers. This hazing all started last year, after I decided to go out with a girl that he apparently called dibs on first, and since then, he’s held it against me. He likes to bully other kids—but I’ve been his main target lately. Sometimes I feel like he won’t stop harassing me until the day I die; which scares me. I feel Alex’s breath in my ear full of excitement to torment me.

Alex: Hey BITCH *looks at everyone & points at me* He’s my bitch. Where ya headed, bitch?

Me: Well, I was—

Alex: *screams* NOWHERE? That’s what I thought! *looks over at his “friends” and they all laugh along with him. They high-five each other*

While still having my back against the lockers I glare at him with a look of fear and exhaustion; I close my eyes and try to find my happy place. Sometimes I wonder how people can be so cruel, and what made them that way. When Alex stops laughing, his friends also do so. He throws a fake punch in my face. I flinch and he calls me a bitch again. Alex looks into my eyes, intensely.

Alex: I’ll let you off this time, pretty boy

He slaps my cheek playfully and walks away with his posse. I breathe heavily while people walk by in the hall & stare at me with wide eyes. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’m not some tough guy who gets into fights, but I know that’s what he wants. I see Logan and Ariana walk over like they do almost everyday. They’ve sometimes witnessed Alex tormenting me, but have no idea it happens everyday. I rub my cheek where he slapped me & walk back to my locker.

L: Hey man! Whoa…are you alright?

Me: Yeah, I’m just great

A: *raises an eyebrow* Why are you lying?

L: Don’t tell me that asshole bugged you again?

Me: He didn’t

A: *tilts her head* Then what’s up with your face there? *points at my cheek*

Me: Well that’s not a very nice thing to say to someone, Ari

A: *puts her hand on my shoulder* Kendall, I’m serious *points at my cheek with her other hand*

L: *gets a closer look at my cheek* Whoa dude…

A: You gotta tell someone—

Me: You guys, it’s not a big deal, really. I can handle it

L: Are you sure? Cause that doesn’t look so good

A: Listen, one day it might get real dangerous, and if you don’t tell someone—it’s just…I’m worried, okay? And I care about you

Me: *I rolls my eyes annoyed at her*

L: *points at Ariana* She speaks the truth, bud

Me: I can handle it. It’s not like when we were little, and would run to our mommies for every little problem. Don’t worry about me *I slam my locker shut & walk away from them feeling heated*

L: Well that went well

A: *sighs*

At home: It’s nighttime and I sit on my bed playing my guitar trying to write a new song that I’ve been struggling to compose for what feels like forever. My mom peaks her head into my room…

Mom: I’m heading to bed, hon.

Me: Alright, love you

Mom: *smiles* Love you too, sweetie. Don’t stay up too late

Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah *I smile at her*

Mom: *laughs & shakes her head while walking away*

I’ve been playing guitar for a while now. It helps me get through my hard times or to relieve stress. I strum a few chords on the guitar out of frustration…

Kevin: Sounds good lil bro *pops his head into my room*

Me: It’s not exactly finished…

Kev: Psh whatever, man. It sounded good *gives me a thumbs-up & walks back to his room*

•∞• Chapter 2 •∞•

Next morning:

I wake up in my bed thinking that there’s not much longer left for my Senior year. The Valentine’s Carnival is this Friday, I hope that’ll lift my spirits a bit. I’ve been thinking of asking someone—anyone at this point. I haven’t been on a real date in a real long time. Maybe Logan and I should double date. Not each other…you know, with other people. Since my last real date or serious girlfriend was sophomore year, I seem to be the only one dateless. I wouldn’t say that I’m hideous or some kind of ‘Orlando Bloom.’ But anyways, I just always seem to find the wrong girl. Every time my date thinks everything’s going well, I can’t help but to think otherwise. It’s a mystery to me as to why this still happens. But maybe things have changed since sophomore year—the change is just now more noticeable.

Kevin: *pops his head into my room* Hey bro wakey, wakey!

Me: AH! *he startles me & I throw a pillow at him* Since when are you awake at this time? *I sit up & squint at him*

Kev: *excited* I dunno! I kinda just…woke up! *holds his arms out feeling proud*

Me: Ya, I see that *I give him an un-amused look*

Kev: Ooo, you’re sassy in the early mornin’ *gives me a smug look & walks away*

Me: *I roll my eyes then yell at him* You know, I’d throw another pillow at you but I ran out of ammo! *I shake my head at him & get ready for school*

At School…

Logan and I were waiting outside Ariana’s classroom while she talked to a teacher before class started…

Me: *I stuttered for a second before speaking* H-h-hey Loge, you think we could somehow double date Friday for the carnival?

L: Yeah sure man, just tell me what I should wear *nudges my shoulder & laughs*

Me: Aha, that’s hilarious *I give him an annoyed look* I’m serious. I haven’t had a date since—

L: The Stone Age? *gives me a teasing look*

Me: *I point at him* Heeey *I chuckle then get serious* Okay it’s been a long time…but not Stone Age long

A: *walks up to us* What’cha two talkin’ bout?

Me: We need to find dates for the Carnival, Friday

A: Samezies. Maybe we can TRIPLE date, huh? *points at us all excitedly*

Me: That sounds awful

A: Hey, I’m not that bad once you get to know me *nudges my shoulder*

Me: *I try to be angry, but can’t help but to smile at her*

*The bell rings for first period class…*

Me: We can talk about it later *I start to walk away to class*

L: Don’t worry, we’ll find you a date, lover boy!

Me: Very funny! *I yell over my shoulder*

In English: The story of “Romeo & Juliet,” is starting to get on my last damn nerve; ALSO, the fact that I’m still playing Juliet’s part?! All I can do is shake my head at Mr. Hayes, feeling like this is some type of revenge for all the times I haven’t paid attention in his class. And Drew has remained as Romeo; which isn’t helping with my odd attraction to his lips. Not that Mr. H. knows that; or anybody. I don’t even know why I think these things—oh god Drew’s looking at me. This is awkward. I’ll just pretend to be really fascinated with this page and stick my face in the book.

Later during class, when we have silent reading time, I decide to scope the room for one possible “candidate” to be my date Friday. There’s this cute girl, Mandy, with long brunette hair and she likes to smile; a lot I might add. Maybe she could be my date…okay she really won’t stop smiling; onto the next one. Jeeze, nobody looks really appealing at the moment—since we are all practically on the verge of death from sheer boredom. Maybe second period will be a much livelier bunch. I never thought looking for a date could be this challenging.

Throughout the day I observe the halls and classrooms of girls with their arms draped around their boyfriend’s, girl’s holding hands with their girlfriends—I have yet to see boyfriends with their boyfriend’s doing anything at this school. Some girls just look like they’re trying too hard to get our attention. Sometimes I feel like there’s really no one out there for me. It’s a real scary thought. I get tired of looking so I lean against the lockers & look to my left, seeing Drew walking toward my direction. He smiles, maybe not at me, but I couldn’t help feeling a little weak kneed when he came closer. Actually this feeling I get, seems to happen a lot around him—or just any guy; but girls? It’s different. But back to Drew; he’s Captain of our soccer team and has the good looks to top it off. But he isn’t arrogant about it. Plus I’ve heard he isn’t much of a ladies man. Kind of like me…coincidence much? Anyways, he gives me a little nod while passing and I catch myself just staring at him…and his butt. I must seem extremely sketchy. Shit, did anyone else see me do that? My eyes are misbehaving so much recently. Oh god I have to get out of here. Crap I still have last period left…maybe I could skip it. Not alone, that would suck. I’ll ask Ariana— since Logan needs to keep his school records squeaky clean—I’ll ask/text her.

For about fifteen minutes Ariana and I are walking down the sidewalk that leads to downtown. For some reason I didn’t talk as much as I usually do when I’m with her. Ariana starts to notice how quiet I am.

A: *nudges my shoulder* Everything okay?

Me: *I nudge her back & sigh* I dunno…I feel…I feel so different, lately. Been struggling trying to figure out…what I want

A: *shrugs* What are you so conflicted about my friend?

Me: *I look around then lower my voice & lean towards her* Sexuality conflicted

A: Whoaa *stops walking & moves in front of me & holds her hand out to stop me from walking* Hold up. What’cha sayin, boy?

Me: *I raise my hands at her* Shhh, keep walking

A: *continues to walk next to me* WELL. What ARE you saying? *widens her eyes*

Me: I’m not sure. I haven’t been sure for a while *I look down at my feet as we walk* Does it mean something if I look at another guy’s butt?

A: Um, please tell me whose butt you’re eyeballing?

Me: *I lower my voice & mutter to myself*

A: I’m sorry but I don’t speak MUMBLE

Me: *I roll my eyes* Alright! Captain of our soccer team

A: *raises her eyebrows & whispers* Drew? Pfft, well I don’t blame ya. After all, he is a babe *smirks* And ya wanna tell me why you were lookin’ down there specifically?

Me: You see, that’s the problem, I have NO IDEA—and it’s freaking me out!

A: Okay, just calm down. BREATHE *her eyes widen* You know…Drew would actually be a good date for Friday…

Me: Not- helping- heeere

A: Aaah sorry! Uh, well maybe you’re Bi?
Me: Why would I be that?

A: I don’t think you chose to be it…but it looks like you like the girls…and the fellas—butts *winks at me*
Me: *I whine* Ari!

A: Sweetie calm down. Let’s discuss this, shall we?

Me: *I let out a big breath* Alright. I’m calm now

A: Yes find your “zen”. Okay, so first let’s remember when you last had a girlfriend or even dated a girl in general

Me: *I put my hands together* Mmm, well…the last time I did anything with a girl was probably…sophomore year

A: Interesting…

Me: *I raise my eyebrow at her* Also, it seems like I’m never satisfied with any of the girls I went out with. It HAS been a while since I’ve been on a date…

A: So then why not try going out with a girl to “test” these new feelings you have?

Me: I’ve been TRYING to find a date all day but it’s harder than I thought

A: WELL, if you still can’t find her before the Carnival I’ll help you, okay?

Me: *I groan* Fiiiine *I cover my face with my hands then look at her* We can’t tell Logan about this. At least not yet. Until I’m sure

A: I won’t. Pinkie promise

Me: *I sigh & smile at her & give her my pinkie finger* I know you won’t

A: But YOU better

Me: *I laugh nervously & point at her* HA, good one

A: Kendall

Me: I WILL. Jeeeeze, lady

A: *laughs then puts her arm around my neck* If you need to talk more, I’m here, kay?

Me: *I smile* I know, I know

When I got home later that afternoon, my mom walks over to me while I’m watching T.V. with a not so pleased facial expression…

Me: Heeey momma…

Mom: Your Principal called me today *folds her arms*

Me: Really? Aaand how’s he doin’?

Mom: Kendall. Why weren’t you in your last period class today?

Me: I…I didn’t feel well…so I stayed in the bathroom…for a REEEALLY long time

Mom: Were you doing drugs or something?

Me: No, mom! Of course not

Mom: Alright…is that all?

Me: Yup!

Mom: *stares at me for a second* Well, do you feel better?

Me: Yeah, I’m fine now—I mean, like, I’m a little better. But I’ll be okay

Mom: *eyeballs me* Well alright

Me: Um, so yeah, I guess I better get goin’ on that homework that I have…every night…see ya!
I rush out of the T.V. room & up to my bedroom. I close my door & lay on my back on my bed & let out a big breath. The last thing my Mom needs to hear is that I skipped class with Ari to have an anxiety attack about my sexuality. I dunno what she would even say—I don’t think I wanna know. But I DO know that she wouldn’t be overjoyed about the whole situation. I probably won’t get much sleep tonight with so many thoughts running through my head. So what if I might actually…be…a little gay? But I’m not sure yet. I will have to test the waters with a girl. Then if that doesn’t satisfy me…I’ll get my answer. I’ll worry more about this tomorrow.

•∞• Chapter 3 •∞•

The Next Day at school…

In English class today, Mr. Hayes decided to put us in our partnerships & read aloud to make the “Romeo & Juliet” play seem more ‘fascinating’ for us—since we all keep falling asleep in his class. Since Drew and I, are Romeo and…eh hem…Juliet, we rearrange our desks so we’re sitting in front of each other. I read my part aloud, then when it’s Drew’s turn he’d stumble over his words which I thought was really cute—which I feel brave enough to admit…

Drew: *peeks up at me & cracks a smile* Man is this bogus or what?

Me: Like you read my mind

Mr. Hayes: *walks by us & claps* We should be reading boys!

Me: *I jump up in my seat startled by his claps*

Drew: *covers his mouth to hide his smile* You okay?

Me: *I grin at Drew* Uh yeah, just a little jumpy I guess
Drew: Chillax man. You don’t need to be nervous around me *gives me a playful look*
Me: *I return the playful look* Hey, you wanna make this more fun and less awkward than it already is?

Drew: Please

Me: Okay. Let’s read our parts with different accents

Drew: HUH?

Me: It’ll be fun. Trust me *I move his book closer to his face* I’ll start *I use my best Russian accent & read my part* “Saints do not move, though grant for prayers sake!”

Drew: *cracks a smile* Duuude

Me: *I laugh at him & tap his book* You try

Drew: Alright *raises his eyebrows & reads one of his parts from the play with a Jersey accent* “Then move not white my prayer’s effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.” FIST PUMP!

Me: *I shake my head & laugh at him*

Drew: Yo, but trying to talk Shakespearian with a Jersey accent isn’t as easy as it looks

Me: Oh I believe it!

We bust into laughter. When Mr. Hayes walks by eye-balling us Drew reads his part normally to save us from getting into trouble…

Drew: *raises his fists in the air* “Sin from thy lips! Oh trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.”

Me: *I mildly flirt* You kiss by the book?

Drew: *laughs & slaps the side of my arm* Dude, you’re too funny

Me: *I smile nervously* I try *I touch my arm where he slapped it*

At one point during class I leave to go to the “bathroom” to meet Ariana in the corridor by the snack machine…

Me: And when he touched my arm…I felt something

A: *gives me a weird look* What did you feel?

Me: *I hit her arm a little* Sparks. I felt sparks. God Ar. Way to make it dirty

A: Pfft, hey, you’re the one who said it! *laughs then moves closer to me & whispers* So…you really think you’re gay?

Me: I…I don’t want to put a label on me quite just yet. But I just know I’m trying to get more comfortable with these ‘feelings’ I’ve been having

A: *hugs me* Good for you Ken *pulls away from our hug & smiles* Well, gotta get back to class!

Me: Same!! See you at lunch! *I wave at her then speed walk back to class*

•∞• Chapter 4 •∞•

A couple days pass…

It’s finally Friday, which also means; DATE NIGHT. At school in the hallway, Ariana & I are standing by my locker watching Logan talk to Smiley Mandy from my first period class. Logan sees us staring, and he waves at us, then walks over with her...

Ariana: Looks like someone has a date for tonight

Log: You’d be correct, my friend

Mandy: *giggles & turns to me* Hi Kendall!

Me: Sup Smiley—Mandy, hi *I wave at her*

L: You two know each other?

Me: Yeah we—

Mandy: We’re in first period English together, its suuuuper great, right, Ken?

Me: *I cringe at her overly peppiness* Oh yeah, IT’S SUPER

A: *covers her mouth & hides her laugh*

L: So did youuu guys find dates?

A: I have an idea of who I want

L: Cool. And you, man?

Me: UH, yeah, same here *I slap his chest playfully with the back of my hand* No worries AT ALL

L: *raises his eyebrows & gives me a smile* Sweet. Hey um, I was going to escort Mandy to her first period

Mandy: Wanna come, Ken?

Me: Uh, I’ll be there in a sec

L: Kay seeee ya

Me: Okay bye-bye *I say quickly*

A: *gives them a big smile* Bye guuuys. They’re kinda cute
Me: Yeah kinda
A: Don’t worry Ken. If we can’t find you a date you’ll still have some fun

Me: Yeah we’ll see
A: So negative, jeeze

Me: *I stick my tongue out at her*

Ari: *sticks her tongue out at me*


*The bell rings for class…*


Me: I’ll see ya later girlie

A: Byyyye *turns around & jogs to her class*

*I turn around to walk to my class, but instead, I run into Alex…*

Alex: Watch it ya pansy!
Me: Oh wow, we’re a little early today with the hazing today aren’t we?
Alex: What’d you say!?

I shake my head at him & see his girlfriend, Angela next to him—the one I went out with, which totally pissed him off—she waves at me while giving me a sad look. I wave back with a confused look & then run off to my first period…

Today in English class, Mr. Hayes caught me and Drew¬ doing our different accents game during our Shakespeare reading. He told us both to knock it off and to write a page on why Shakespeare’s so “great.” Mr. Hayes takes everything way too seriously, and obviously likes to make my classroom time with him personal torture. But as long as Drew’s here, next to me, and our elbows are touching every few minutes, the torture lessens. As Drew and I write our “amazing” pages on Shakespeare, we keep looking at each other holding in our laughter over the whole situation. After class, Drew & I walk out together, talking about how bad the pages we wrote are…

Drew: Dude, I swear he’s out to get us. And that “punishment” he gave us was so dumb

Me: Maybe he needs to get laid

Drew: My thoughts exactly! *laughs & gently punches my arm* Hey everyone needs a good lay
Me: *I nervously laugh* That’s true *I slow my laughter down & stare at him* Hey, um, so…are you going to the Carnival, tonight?

Drew: Totes man

Me: *I try not to look the least awkward while speaking* Got a hot date?

Drew: Ohhh yes; you?

Me: *I try to hide my disappointment* No luck yet

Drew: So you’re still on the hunt?

Me: Yep. All this week *I shake my head sadly*

Drew: Bro, I could hook you up…if you’d like…?

Me: *I give him a slow look* Sooounds good to me

Drew: *grins* Cool man. I think I know who… *looks around & makes eye-contact with a girl. He calls her over to us* Hey Alison!

Alison: *she stops talking to her friends & walks over to us* Hey Drew *gives him a flirty smile then looks over at me*

Me: *I wave while clenching my jaw*

Ali: Who’s your cute friend?

Drew: Ah already off to a good start. Wanna be his date for the Carnival?

Ali: *flips her hair* Sure *brushes her bangs away from her face*

Me: Sure?

Ali: Mmm hm *nods her head*

Drew: Well that settles that! I’ll see YOU two at the Carnival

Ali: *caresses my arm*

Me: *I raise an eyebrow at her then look at Drew* Yooou betcha

Drew: *smiles* Well, catch ya lata’!

Ali: Bye Drew
Me: *I frown watching him leave*

Ali: *grabs my chin & pulls me to face her* YOU are too cute *growls playfully* Don’t let this face fool ya. I’m not- that- innocent *blows me a kiss then walks away*

Me: *I put my hand over my face & groan* Why meee?

•∞• Chapter 5 •∞•

At the Valentine’s Day Carnival:


It’s beyond nuts here! People of all ages are making out everywhere—even in the bathroom! Also, it’s getting darker outside so now all the carnival lights are on for the rides. Speaking of rides, my damn head won’t stop spinning from my date. This girl doesn’t shut up or stop being so grabby with me. And we’ve been on the Ferris wheel for god only knows how many times. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve perfectly practiced tuning her out. I keep telling her I need to use the bathroom—hoping to maybe ditch her. After our ride ends, I try to walk towards the bathrooms, but she grabs my collar and pulls me close forcefully for a kiss with some tongue action, but that’s where I draw the line...

Me: *I pull away from her and raise my voice* OKAY THEN. Thanks for the send off *I speed walk away feeling relieved*

Alison: I’ll be at the cotton candy stand, ya cutie!

I give her an awkward wave & shuffle off. I shiver just thinking about our kiss. It felt wrong on so many levels. It didn’t help that I tried to imagine I was kissing Drew. How bout next time I try it with a guy? I’ll make that deal with myself and try not to be stuck in a situation like this ever again to the best of my ability. I look behind me to get one last glimpse of her, & then duck to my right & purposely get lost in the crowd of people. God, what a crappy Valentine’s Day. I mean, it’s not Drew’s fault for this date; it’s mine for going along with it in the first place. Ugh, I really hope he doesn’t find me…or worse…ALISON!

Ugh, I need to sit down. All this thinking is exhausting me to the fullest. I find a Balloon Darts booth nearby and decide to sit on one of the stools they have. I see no one running the booth & let out a deep sigh & I run my hands over my face & my hair. “You alright there, mate?” I hear someone say. I lift my head up out of my hands startled and see a really cute short dark haired guy with hazel eyes. I feel dazed for a sec while looking at him. I can tell by his outfit that he’s in charge of the booth. He’s wearing a pink hat with a pink shirt & black jacket & black skinny jeans. I check him out then straighten myself up & fix my hair. He’s still giving me a concerned look while I stare at him…

Me: *I stutter* W-why’re you looking at me like that?
Guy: Ya lookin’ a bit crook
Me: What’s that!?
Guy: You look sick
Me: No I’m not sick. Well. I’m fine—Do I really look that bad?
Guy: *shrugs his shoulders* Ya don’t look too bad to me *gives me a friendly smile*
Me: Well I…could be better. You startled me. I didn’t see you there

Guy: I needed a loo break. Sorry to give ya a scare *drinks from his water bottle*
Me: It’s alright *I smile weakly at his Australian accent & look down at my feet*

Guy: Ya seem a bit dim. Whadya say, we play a round of Balloon Darts to lighten things *he looks at me closely with his pretty eyes*

Me: *I look back up at him, still smiling weakly*

Guy: *grins* Ya up for the challenge, mate?

Me: *I give him a clever grin* Challenge accepted, mate

Guy: *laughs & grabs some darts for us to throw*

After I played a few games with him, we ended up just talking until it was closing time for the Carnival. So far I’ve found out his name is Tommy, and that he’s from Australia, and he’s definitely on the attractive side—like Drew may have some competition. After I help Tommy clean up a bit, he leans his elbows on the table & pulls out a deck of cards & holds them out in front of me…

Tom: Pick a card

Me: Aw man, not this trick

Tom: Come on mate, ya know ya want to *he gives me a crooked smile*

Me: *I give him a teasing look* First of all, I have a name, and it’s not mate. How would you like it if I called you mate?
Tom: Ya just did *gives me a clever smile*

I stare at him for a second then reach forward & I grab some of cards from his hands I laugh & he comes out from behind his booth & tries to grab them back from me. He puts his hands over mine & we stare at each other; he gives me a shy smile while I try not to blush…

Tom: I’d like to have my cards back Mr. Kendall

Me: As you wish, mate *I hold them out & he grabs them quickly & gives me a second look*

Tom: You’re such a dag *puts his cards into his pants pocket*

Me: A dag?

Tom: *sits on top of the booth table* An amusing type of person. You’re quite daggy

Me: Oh. Well then I’m slightly less offended *I sit down next to him*

Tom: *chuckles & playfully nudges my arm* I saw ya earlier with that try hard pashing on ya; she ya girlfriend?

Me: My what—and she’s a what?

Tom: *shakes his head & laughs*

Me: And she’s sure as hell not my girlfriend. If that’s what you’re wondering

Tom: I saw ya running away from her—I thought you two were playing a game

Me: Oh wow. That’s embarrassing. Anyways we were set up by a friend of mine

Tom: Oh those set ups are pretty spiffy too, aren’t they?

Me: Don’t remind me *I roll my eyes* Man this V-Day totally blows

Tom: *gives me a sad look & taps my wrist* I’m real sorry bout that, mate

Me: Thanks, mate

Tom: *cracks up at my casual response*

Me: *I give him a second look* Actually, hanging out with you kinda made up for what I thought was going to be a really bad night

Tom: *nods his head slowly* I’m glad I could help *smiles & looks me from my toes to my eyes* So you’re not dating anyone?

Me: *I feel a little nervous* Uh no. Not now

Tom: *nods his head at me*

Me: *I turn to him slowly* Can you…keep a secret?

Tom: *tilts his head at me & gives me a loyal look* I can

Me: Okay. Well…so…the reason it didn’t work out with that girl tonight…is because…she’s…well…I—

Tom: Ya fancy blokes?

Me: *I give him a confusing look*

Tom: You’re attracted to men?

Me: *I give him a shy look* Well…you’re not wrong *I panic for a sec* Wait, am I that obvious?

Tom: *chuckles* Kendall. Ya stand out like a shag on a rock

Me: *I blush at his comment & try not to have a panic attack*

Tom: Aaand I might also fancy the blokes myself. So that may have helped my guessing

Me: *I raise my eyebrows at him* Well that’s just cheating

Tom: Mmm, no I don’t think so *pokes my arm*

Me: *I shake my head & laugh at him*

Tom: Ya know, this whole night I’ve been trying to figure ya out

Me: Looks like you did *we stare at each other for a second*

Tom: And don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me

Me: *I give him a weak/worried look then stare down at my feet*

Tom: Ya know…in Aussie slang, guys like us are called Poofs *nods his head*

Me: *I give him a weird look then laugh a little* Poofs? Well, if it wasn’t obvious, I’m new to the poof world

Tom: No worries. I’ll guide you
Me: *I grin at him*
Tom: At first when I saw ya, my poof-dar did go off a little. Buuut that may have just been wishful thinking *shrugs & gives me a flirty look*

Me: Oh…? *I grin at him then look at my watch* OH WOW, it’s getting late. My Mom will freak if I’m not home soon— *I freeze* Aaand I just remembered that my date that I ditched drove me here *I shake my head*

Tom: *jingles his car keys*

Me: *I smile* You’ll give me a ride?

Tom: Say please

We arrive at my house in his car & I ask him to park at the end of my drive way so my family won’t be as nosy…

Tom: This is your house, right?

Me: Nope. It’s all lies

Tom: *hits the steering wheel* Bloody hell boy! *laughs*

Me: *I crack up at him* Hey, thanks for the ride

Tom: No problem *gives me a toothy smile*

Me: *I snort out a little laugh then give him a sideways look* Hey uh…would you wanna try…going out…sometime? I mean, you don’t—we don’t have to—but…oh god am I doing this wrong? *The car suddenly feels like its closing in around me & I look around nervously* But please by all means say something to stop me from babbling

Tom: *shakes his head & laughs* You are a bit of a Yabber…

Me: Oh, I know what that means. And it’s not an insult *I point my finger at him*

Tom: *grins & pretends to bite my finger* So what’s your favorite food?

Me: Hmm…pizza is pretty delish

Tom: Alright. I could pick ya up tomorrow

Me: That sounds…nice

Tom: I mean, it’s the least I could do…after ya politely asked me out

Me: *I nod & look up* Thaaat is what I did. Well, attempted, anyways

Tom: *crinkles his nose & smiles* I’m looking forward to it

Me: *I smile nervously at him* Me too *we’re so close I start to feel lightheaded, but in a good way* Well uh, I should get going

Tom: *nods his head & caress my arm* See ya tomorrow

Me: See ya *I get out of his car & wave at him*

•∞• Chapter 6 •∞•

Next day: It’s Saturday afternoon & I keep thinking about my date tonight with Tommy. I feel this date will show me what I’m really looking for in a relationship. And what kind of person. And that I fancy the blokes like Tommy said. I just know how I feel and I want to stay true to who I am. I sit down on the couch & I switch on the T.V. My older brother, Kevin, sits down on the couch next to me…

Kevin: *slaps my leg* What’s up lil bro?

Me: Juuust chillin

Kev: SAAAAME

I nod my head at him then look down at my cell phone. Logan & Ariana have been texting me over 20 times since last night & they keep saying that they thought I died or something. I texted them both, “Sorry, change of plans, suddenly,” Logan stopped worrying, but Ariana wouldn’t let me off the hook just yet. Just then, my door bell rings a couple times…

Kev: Hey Ken, you wanna get that *stares intently at the T.V. screen*

Me: *I glare at him, annoyed* Sure *I shake my head & open the front door to see Ariana standing there* R?

Ari: Don’t R me, I wanna know what really happened to you last night *walks past me & into my house*

Me: Gee nice to see you too *I close my front door & face her*

Kev: *walks over to us & folds his arms* Well look-y whose here

Ari: NOT NOW, KEVIN *she grabs me & pulls me into the kitchen away from Kevin*
Where’d you go last night?

Me: *I whisper* Can we talk about this somewhere else?

Ari: Fine. Let’s do this in your room *grabs my wrist & pulls me towards the stairs*

Kev: Ooo Kendall gettin’ sooooome *fist pumps*

Ari: *gives Kevin a sassy look* Shut up?

We go into my bedroom & I shut my door tightly. We sit on my bed cross-legged, face to face, & I tell her what happened last night…

Ari: *slaps my leg playfully* Why didn’t you just tell me?

Me: Ah, ow! *I rub my leg from her painful slapping* I’m just still confused with this whole “liking guys” thing

Ari: Aw, I’m here for you *pats my leg*

Me: Thanks

Ari: And sooo…you got a date! *whispers* With a guy! An Aussie guy *slaps my leg again excitedly*

Me: *I smile at her in pain* Ow, okay, I’m probably gonna need this leg to properly function for my date


Ari: Ah, sorry! My bad. I’m done slapping now. And how long til your date? *raises her eyebrows all flirty*

Me: A few hours…

Ari: And we’re just SITTING here? *gets off my bed* Well, there’s no more time to waste, let’s get you lookin pretty for tonight!

Me: *I laugh then look at her* You’re serious?

Ari: *walks over to my closet* Oh you bet your butt I am. Come on, get off that booty of yours

Me: Ugh, okay *I roll my eyes & walk over to her*

A couple hours later Ariana finishes giving me my “makeover,” and I’m surprised at how good she made me look. I look in the mirror & flatten out the front of my red & black checkered button- up plaid shirt…

Ari: *holds up a tie*

Me: *I hold up my hands* I think I’m good

Ari: Oh come on

Me: Ari, we’re just going to a pizza place, nothing fancy

Ari: Gaaah, fine

Me: *I look at the clock* Oh god he’ll be here soon. I feel sweaty just thinking about him

Ari: Don’t worry! Okay I’ll get going

Me: Hey…thanks for…listening…and helping me

Ari: *hugs me* You’re welcome, ya cutie. Oh, and I so want to meet him

Me: You will, I promise

Ari: Yay! Can’t wait! Okay I’ll go now, but tell me everything at school, Monday, okay?

Me: Will do

Ari: Alright, see ya! *leaves my room*

Me: Later *I wave at her*

I fix my hair in the mirror, & then my Mom knocks on my door, so I walk over to open it...

Mom: Hi sweetie, I just got back from work and—well don’t you look nice…

Me: Er thanks, Ari helped me clean up

Mom: And I see that *she fixes my collar* You look very handsome. You never did make it clear where you were going tonight…?

Me: I didn’t? *I laugh nervously* Oh, uh, well…I have a date

Mom: *raises her eyebrows* OH? Well it’s about time!

Me: Mooom. It hasn’t been that long

Mom: Whatever you say sweetie. And I hope you two have a nice time

Me: Me too *I smile at her, then I look for some cologne in my room*

Mom: *stands by my doorway* Will I get to meet her?

Me: *I almost knock over my lamp on my dresser & turn to her* What? I mean, no. She’s uh, I don’t want you to meet her just yet—cause it may not work out or something…and what would be the point of introducing you…to him—HER, right? *I finally find the cologne & nervously spray it on myself*

Mom: Huh, I guess you have a point…

Me: *I hear a horn honk* THEY’RE here! Gotta go! Love ya, Mom! *I kiss her on the cheek & dash out my room & down the stairs*

Mom: Have a good night hon! And don’t forget your wallet!

Me: GOT IT! Thanks!

Later: After we eat our dinner Tommy drives me home. It’s pouring outside so he parks a little closer to my driveway but enough to still be hidden in private from my family. Tom lowers the music on the radio & starts chatting…

Tom: Besides the casual raining cats ‘n’ dogs, I’d say this night was on the spiffy side *pats my leg*

Me: *I chuckle then look down at where he touched my leg*

Tom: *smiles at me* Would ya like a chokkie?

Me: A whatty?

Tom: *lets out a short laugh* Chocolate!

Me: OH, yeah, sure *he reaches over my legs to get into the glove compartment*

Tom: I hope ya like Hersey kisses; they’re all I’ve got. Leftovers from the Carnival *pulls out a couple chocolates & drops them in the palm of my hand*

Me: *I look down at my hand* Thanks. Oh they’re so cute and pink

Tom: Right you are *unwraps a chocolate & pops one in his mouth*
Me: *I pop mine in my mouth too*


Tom: Did ya know, a kiss in my country is called pash?
Me: Oh really?
Tom: So I really just gave you a couple pashes

After he says that he gives me a little side smirk, that shows his charming dimples. He stares at me, and I start to feel a little anxious, but in a good way. I really check out his outfit, black scoop neck with black jeans and his short brown wavy hair falling so slightly in his face…

Me: *I smirk then look at my house* I guess I should go now?

Tom: Fair enough. Want me to walk ya?

Me: You didn’t have to ask *I smile at him & open the car door*

Tom: *his eyes twinkle at me when he grins*

We make a mad dash to my front door, trying not to get rained on. We laugh it off & I shake my soaked hair while Tom gives me a second look & steps closer. He fixes my collar then rests his hands on my shoulders then moves them to rest on my chest. We look at each other & I touch his hands on my chest with my own hands shaking. Tommy looks around to see if any of my family are watching then positions me so my back is against the front door so we’re hidden from my house’s windows. I move my hands down to his hips & Tommy grabs the back of my head pulling me in for a long kiss. At first my eyes are open in shock then then I start to feel more comfortable & close my eyes & enjoy the kiss. After a few moments we calm down and Tommy rests his hands on my chest. I blink a couple times & we laugh at each other, filled with excitement. Our faces are still so close that we can smell each others sweet chocolate breath. We should just be thankful neither of us had anchovies on our pizza tonight…

Me: *I let out a breath of laughter* We’re lucky neither of us had anchovies on our pizza tonight—that was supposed to remain a thought

Tom: *chuckles* You really are a little dag *gently tugs on my collar before letting go*

Me: *I look down & blush*

Tom: Hey Ken?

Me: Yeah?

Tom: *takes a deep breath* You’re the first guy I’ve ever actually kissed. No other guys…wanted to

Me: *I give him a sad look then smile weakly* You’re my first too

Tom: *smiles at me & shakes off his wet hair*

Me: *I jokingly put my hands up to block the water from hitting my face*

Tom: *laughs & gives me a little shove* I’ll ring you later?

Me: I know what that means…and yes

Tom: *kisses my cheek & runs out in the rain to his car*

I watch him drive away & I sigh feeling lightheaded—in a good way. I open my front door almost hitting my brother…whose mouth is hanging wide open…

Kev: Holy shit—dude, are you—is HE—?

Me: *I put my hand over his mouth & use the other hand to close the door* NOT A WORD. To mom or anybody

Kev: *he nods his head still in shock*

Me: *I take my hand off his mouth & walk towards the stairs*

Kev: *laughs* I’ve never been so glad to not be in college right now man—

Me: If you say anything I will put -you -back into college. GOT IT? *I start to walk up the stairs*

Kev: *follows not far behind me* Wow, you’re serious about this, aren’t you?

Me: *I groan & walk faster up the stairs* Why is this happening to me?

Kev: *whispers behind me* Is he your secret lover?

Me: Goodnight Kevin *I walk into my room & close the door quickly*

Kev: *says through my door* Come on bro. Talk to me!

Me: Not right now
Kev: Fine. But you can’t hide. I know where you live
Me: *I shake my head & laugh*

•∞• Chapter 7 •∞•

The weekend breezes by & its Monday already; at school it seems as though Logan and Smiley Mandy really hit it off since the Carnival—cause they can’t restrain themselves from making kissy faces at each other all morning…

Me: *I turn to Ariana* By the way, you never told me who you went to the Carnival with?

Ariana: *looks at me & blinks innocently*

Logan: Did ya forget already?

Ari: Uhhh, no. And it doesn’t really matter *waves her hand carelessly*

Mandy: It was Drew, silly!

L: *grins at her & they begin to make out again*

Me: *I look at her surprised & pull her over to the side, away from Logan and Mandy* And when were you going to tell me this?

Ari: *bites her lip nervously* You never asked?

Me: Well now I’m asking?!

Ari: Just don’t be mad please

Me: *I let out a big breath* I’m not. I’m just…surprised. How did you two…?

Ari: Well, okay, here’s the story, my date I brought was awful and then I ran into Drew—literally—I knocked over his nachos! I apologized like 50 gazillion times and then he said I was cute and then we ended up hanging out for the rest of the night…and yeah. It just…kinda happened

Me: So our nights kinda ended the same way?

Ari: *shrugs* You could say that. Sorry I didn’t tell you

Me: No really, its fine, Ar *I lower my voice* I have Tom now, remember?

Ari: Oh you HAVE him? *winks at me*
Me: And I liked it…A LOT
Ari: Ooo!

The bell rings for first period…

Ari: Tell me more about your date later, okay?

Me: I will!

Ari: *she gives me a thumbs-up then scoots off to her class*

Me: *I take a couple of steps & Logan speaks to me*

L: Hey man, wait up! I’ll walk you and Mandy both to class

Me: Oh nooo, that’s fine, I was just—going to the bathroom. You two can go

L: Okay?? See you later, bro??

Me: BYE! *as soon as I enter the bathroom I sit in the smelly stall & take my phone out to give Tommy a good morning text*

After my last period Drew & I meet up by his locker…

Drew: Hey, so how’d your date with Alison go?

Me: Uh, greeeat *I try my best not to sound sarcastic, but it’s almost impossible*

Drew: Dude, she’s hot

Me: Literally all she wanted to do was make out…

Drew: *gives me a wide eyed look & says sarcastically* Well that sounds awful *chuckles & rummages through his locker*

Me: *I smirk & fold my arms*

Just then, my bully, Alex, slams me sideways—hard— into the lockers next to Drew’s; Angela watches us in fear. This isn’t his usual time to come & harass me, which I find strange, but disturbing at the same time. I grab my arm that got slammed into the lockers & wince in pain. Drew turns around baffled by the whole scene…

Alex: FAG

Drew: Whoa, whoa there bro *slams his locker shut & faces Alex* Lay off him

Alex: *cracks his jaw* You’re not serious right now, are you?

Drew: *drops his books onto the floor & pokes Alex’s chest* You got a problem with me being all serious; tough guy?

Alex: *scoffs & lets out a little chuckle* No, not at all. But you have fun with your little faggot *pats Drew’s shoulder & starts to walk away but Drew grabs his shoulder to turn him back around & punches him right in the face*

Me: *I try to pull Drew away but it’s no use* DREW. Please DON’T—

They draw a crowd of students. Ariana & Logan happen to be in the crowd too & spot me & push through everyone to get to me…

Ariana: *yells* What the hell’s going on!?

Me: *I take a deep breath & say quietly into her ear* Apparently, I’m a fag

Logan: *tilts his head sideways & gives Alex an irritated look* Is that Drew fighting him?

Me: *I cover my face with my hands* Yes

Ari: Oh my god *covers her mouth with her hands*

A teacher finally approaches the fight & pulls them apart, while warning them with a suspension if they continue. Alex stomps off with Angela wrapped around his arm. Drew walks over to us with his now bloody nose…

Me: Drew. Oh god you’re bleeding *I reach towards his face*

Drew: *raises his hand* I’m alright. Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, I’m fine. I’m worried ‘bout you though…

Drew: Eh, I’ll live *looks to my right & sees Ariana* Oh hey *holds onto his bloody nose*

Ari: *blushes* Hey

L: Dude, you sorta just kicked Alex’s ass

Drew: No, actually I just sorta got my ass kicked by the big jerk

L: Oh. Sorry bro *pats Drew’s arm sympathetically*

Drew: *shrugs* You win some you lose some. I hate fighting though

Ari: *holds out her scarf* Here, use this for the bleeding

Drew: Thanks, but that’s too pretty for me to ruin *gives her a weak smile*

Ari: Oh, okay *grins at him*

Drew: *turns to me* Hey, I gotta get goin; I got soccer practice. See you later though bro, kay? *pats my arm then jogs down the hall & disappears around the corner*

Me: *I feel I’m in some sort of dream state*

Ari: I can’t believe he stood up for you like that *smiles*

L: Yeah man, crazy

Me: I can’t believe that I haven’t stood up to that asshole yet. Am I a wimp for letting Drew defend me?

Ari: No sweetie, not at all

L: He was just protecting you. You’re friends, right?

Me: Well now I think we really are. Ow *I grab my arm & Ari rubs it for me*

Later at home, Kevin decides to cook dinner. I walk into the kitchen sniffing the air. And it doesn’t smell terrible…

Me: What’s all this? *I point at the absurd scene of him cooking*

Kev: *stirs whatever’s in the pot of boiling water* Oh just tryin something a little new *raises his eyebrow at me & gives me a little wink*

I nod my head slowly; knowing that comment was personally directed at me. Ever since he caught Tommy and I ‘in the act,’ he’s been giving me smirks & snarky remarks for the past couple of days…

Me: Anyways. Serious question here; have you ever wanted to kick a guys ass so hard, but you don’t have the guts to?

Kev: Well duh. Who hasn’t?

Me: Sooo…have you done it?

Kev: PSHHHYA! *leans closer to me & talks in a whisper tone* Junior year, after school…at a location

Me: Where?

Kev: *whispers* Can’t say

Me: *I give him an annoyed look* Okay. Continue

Kev: *whisper tone again* Long story short, I kicked the guy’s ass and NEVER got caught *raises his eyebrows*

Me: *I nod my head at him* Interesting story. Not sure if its real or made up but at least I have something now to hold against you when the time comes

Kev: Duuuude, you better not tell anybody

Me: Then you better not tell anyone…about me and you know who

Kev: *grins all excitedly* About your little boyfriend?

Me: SHHHHHHHHUSH. And his name is Tommy
Kev: Oh?
Me: ANYWAYS, back to the ass kicking. Can you teach me how to at least defend myself?

Kev: You’re serious about this?

Me: Do I ever ask you for advice?

Kev: *says quickly* True. And why suddenly do you need help kicking some ass?

Me: There’s this asshole at my school who’s been harassing me for what seems like an eternity—and I wanna just defend myself for once when the time comes

Kev: Hmm…I’ll think about it lil bro

Me: *I sniff the pasta that’s boiling in the pot* Sooo…is that a YES?

Kev: A maybe

Me: A MAYBE? Come on Kev, you dropped out of college, what else is there for you to do—besides looking for a job—and this new cooking ‘hobby’ of yours?

Kev: ALRIGHT, fine. JEEEEEZE. I’ll do it. God you’re annoying

Me: THAAAANK YOUUU! *I hug him*

Kev: WHOAAA, hey, hey, easy! Watch the stove!

Me: *I give him a long dramatic stare* It’s like I don’t know who you are anymore

Kev: I could say the same for you lover-boy

Me: *I pinch his arm* SHUT IT

Kev: *laughs* Go tell Mom dinners ready. Or I’ll kick your ass

Me: You’re not funny *I sneer at him*

Kev: Come on Ken, I’m a little funny *stirs his pasta happily*

Me: *I roll my eyes at him, then walk out of the room to get our Mom*

•∞• Chapter 8 •∞•

It’s Friday finally: After last period, Logan asks me if we could hang out, but I tell him a certain “friend” of mine was visiting…

L: Would I know this friend?

Me: Uh no. They’re from a different school…

L: So I can’t meet them?

Me: *I crack my neck annoyed* I mean, yeah sure you can…

L: *gives me a funny look*

Ari: *skips over to us* So what’s up for today?

L: Kendall’s having a little get together tonight, wanna join?

Ari: Yeah, I’m there *smiles*

Me: Well I wasn’t planning on—*I grit my teeth* Okay I guess I’ll have to warn—ha-ha I mean, tell my friend that you guys will be joining us

L: Yeah, cool man *pats my arm*

Ari: Friend?

L: His new friend

Ari: Would I know this new friend?

Me: You know, that friend I told you about—that friend *I widen my eyes at her*

Ari: *stares at me for a second* OOOOH…right! Of course

L: You know about this “friend” ?

Ari: Yeeeah maybe

Me: *I clap my hands once* OKAY! I guess I’ll see you both at my house around 5pm?

L: Sounds good to me

A: Yup!

Me: See you then! *I wave to them, then dash out of the school to text Tommy about our new plans*

At my house: Tommy came over a little earlier so we could have some time alone before my friends came. We’re sitting on the couch watching “Extreme Makeover” on the T.V. He’s got his arm around me. It’s quite relaxing, despite hearing my brother tip-toeing around room to room. Luckily my mom went out with Rick, and Kevin already knows our whole situation, so we’re in the clear for now. But that still doesn’t calm my nervous for tonight…

Me: Okay, I’m officially freaking out

Tom: YOU? I have to pretend to be a straight guy whose by the way not your boyfriend in front of your OWN cobber! Bloody hell *shakes his head*

Me: And here I thought I was the only one with that problem *I sigh then give him a little look* Wait, did you call me your boyfriend? And a cobber?

Tom: That’s what…we are, right?

Me: I hope so *I smile at him*

Tom: *tickles my ear with his finger, playfully* And cobber means a good friend
Me: It all makes sense now!
Tom: *chuckles*

Me: *I smile* I’m sorry we have to do this tonight…I really don’t know how much longer I can keep this secret anymore, it’s so frustrating I just—

Tom: *leans over & kisses me* We’re in this together, okay?
Me: It’s just…I didn’t want you all to meet under these circumstances
Tom: No worries
Me: And I already told you Ari knows about us…but Logan doesn’t yet
Tom: Yes I remember. Take a deep breath. Everything will be quite alright, mate

I smile & lean in for another kiss at the same time the doorbell rings. I jump away from Tommy & stand up quickly…*

Tom: Now try your best not to get a stiffy around me, eh?
Me: See when you say things like that—
Tom: It makes you want to have a naughty?
Me: TOM. Oh my god. I’m not answering you but I’ll answer the door *I give him a “behave yourself” look & walk over to open my front door*

A couple hours later we finish a game of Gold-Fish. We’re all sitting on the couch together & cracking jokes while the TV’s on in the background. They really do like Tommy; which is the least of my worries. Also, Tommy’s been on & off secretly locking his pinkie with mine…

Tom: *sits up from the couch* I’ll get some more chips from the kitchen, be back in a tick *winks at me & takes the chips bowl with him*

Logan: TICK! *nudges my arm* Ha, I love this guy! He’s too cool

Me: I’m glad you think so, man *I smile & pat his shoulder*

Ariana: *rolls her eyes at me, then stands up & follows Tom to the kitchen* Hey

Tom: *looks up* Howdy

Ari: *grabs a couple chips from the bag & takes a bite* You and Kendall are super cute

Tom: I think we’re cute too

Ari: *helps Tom put more chips into the bowl*

Kevin: Cuter than ME, mate? *he says in an Australian accent & laughs at his own joke*

Ari: KEVIN

Kev: *puts his hand on his chest with a shocked expression* This is brand new information!

Ari: You know nothing

Kev: Au contraire, my dear, but I do

Ari: *shakes her head & turns to Tom* What’s he talkin’ bout?

Tom: *sighs* He knows about me and Ken

Ari: And how did this idiot find out about you two? *glares at Kevin*

Kev: Hey, words hurt, Ar. Oh, and to answer your question *whispers* I caught them macking by the front door like… *pretends to make out with himself*

Ari: *shoves Kevin so he stops* Quit it

Tom: Why don’t you rack off, mate

Kev: Hey, I’m just sayin’ *waves his hands mockingly then walks away*

Ari: *rubs her temples* I guess he has nothing better to do with his life than tease you two

Tom: *smiles weakly at her* Come on; let’s get back to Ken and Logan *grabs his bowl of chips & locks his arm into hers while they walk back into the TV room*

Less than a couple hours pass by and everything starts to wind down…

Logan: *high-fives Tom* Man that was fun. Hey we gotta do a guys night out or something

Tom: Oh well that just sounds like a blast and a half

L: *laughs & looks at me* He kills me, man

Ari: I need more girl-friends

L: Hey, be nice, I’m your ride home

Ari: *says sarcastically* Lucky me! *hugs me, then Tommy* Bye guys; nice to finally meet you Tommy *gives him a sweet smile*

Tom: Nice meeting you *grins back at her*

L: Later bro’s!

We wave at them until they drive off, & then Tommy closes my front door slowly & turns to me with a sly grin…

Tom: Come here ya dag

He steps forward to press his lips onto mine & grabs my waist. For a moment it gets intimate, & we take our business over to the couch. Car headlights flash through the window, interrupting us…

Me: *I sit up & whisper* Mom’s home

Tom: I guess that’s my cue

Me: Don’t leave yet! Maybe you could stay over…

Tom: I guess an innocent little sleepover wouldn’t hurt *winks at me & tickles my side*

Me: Stop that! *I laugh & playfully swat his hands away*

My mom opens the front door then walks past the T.V. room where we are on the couch. She retraces her steps & smiles at us…

Mom: Hi boys

Me: OH, hello mother

Mom: Hi hon. Who’s your new friend?

Tom: *gives her a little wave* I’m Tom

Mom: Hello

Tom: Hi *smiles shyly*

Me: Hey, uh, mom, could Tom stay over?

Mom: Sure sweetie. It’s Friday isn’t it? I need to wash up, but you two have fun *grins then walks away to put her coat away & goes upstairs*

Tom: *slaps my leg* Come on now; show me what your room looks like!

Me: If you say so! Follow meee

Tom: Right behind ya

•∞• Chapter 9 •∞•

After a few minutes, Tommy calls his parents to tell them that he’s staying over.
My mom walks into my room, holding a sleeping bag…

Mom: Tom, Tommy, which one do you prefer?

Tom: Either is fine, miss

Mom: Great *smiles* Here’s your sleeping bag

Tom: *puts his hand on his chest* You shouldn’t have

Mom: Oh but I did. Here you go my dear *hands him the sleeping bag* You two have a good night

Me: Thanks, night mom

Mom: Night boys *closes my door*

Tom: *gives me a sideways glance* Since when was I sleeping on the bloody floor?

Me: Uhhh, since I made it to the bed first *I give him a big smile*

Tom: Well, since you’re cute, I’ll let it go

Me: No I’m thinking you’re the cute one

Tom: Don’t get me started on you
Me: Okay but the real question is; who’s showering first?
Tom: You’ll have to pillow fight me for it!
Me: *I laugh & throw my pillow at him*

I shower first then Tom showers after me. I get tucked into bed & leave on my Himalayan salt rock lamp on it’s lowest light setting for Tom to find his way back after he finishes his showering.
I hear the toilet flush then I hear my bedroom door close. I hear his footsteps coming closer in my direction & the mattress impressions on my right. I should have figured he wouldn’t sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag. But I still feel nervous. I turn to my right & see him lying next to me on his stomach. I can see in the dim light; his face is serious for a moment then softens. He puts his hand on my cheek then on my chest & caresses it. He moves his hand lower towards my crotch area…
Tom: Now I know for sure you got a big ole stiffy
Me: *I let out a short laugh* Shut up
Tom: No you *starts to kiss my neck*

We get really into our foreplay and I’ve never felt so much bliss. Nothing’s ever felt so…right. He was about to remove my tank top & I let out a breath…

Me: What if someone hears?

Tom: No one will hear anything because we’re just good mates, remember?

Me: *I give him a mischievous grin* Don’t let that stop you

Saturday morning I wake up feeling groggy from a long night of…activities, eh hem. I stretch & look at the time; 11am. Then I look to my right & see Tom sleeping soundly. He looks so cute…and peaceful…and shirtless…and I’M shirtless…we’re in our boxers…and he’s IN my bed. Oh god, what if my mom peaked her head into the room to check on us? Uh yeah mom we’re doing JUST FINE in here. Holy crap; I shake Tommy to wake him up; he opens his eyes & moans.

Tom: *yawns* Bloody hell. What’s going on?

Me: You’re in my bed, mate

Tom: Oh well look at that, I am *smirks & lies on his side to face me*

Me: *I look away to laugh. I poke his chest with my finger* You should lie in your sleeping bag—where my mom thinks you are

Tom: Oye, do I have to? It’s so comfy up here *reaches across to touch my hand, & then slides it more ‘south of the border’*

Me: *I jump up & laugh*

Tom: *covers his mouth playfully & laughs*

Mom: *knocks on my door* Boys, are you awake?

Tom & I give each other panicked looks…

Mom: When you two are ready, I made some pancakes for your breakfast

Me: Awesome mom thanks! We’ll be down in a sec!
Tom: I could use a good brekky after last night

We joke around then throw on our clothes & head downstairs. During “brekky” we steal little glances at each other while trying not to crack up…

Kev: *watching us & rolls his eyes* Ooookee, well I think I’m done with this *puts his plate in the sink & walks out of the room*

Mom: What’s the matter with him? *stabs her pancake with a fork & takes a bite*

Me: Not a clue *I bite my pancake off my fork & grin up at Tommy*

After breakfast, Tommy & I watch a few cartoons on the T.V. Tommy’s Mom asks him to come home…

Me: I wish you didn’t have to leave *I walk him to the front door*

Tom: Too right. But I’ll pop around soon again *smiles*

Me: *I open my front door for him*

Tom: *nods his head & kisses me softly* See ya

Me: *I wave goodbye, then close my front door & turn to see my Mom staring at me from the kitchen. I stare at her for a moment* Heeey Mom…whatcha doin’?
Mom: *blinks a couple times at me* I could ask you the same thing, Kendall *pauses for a second* Is there something you want to tell me about your new friend, Tommy? *walks over closer but cautiously*

Me: *I laugh nervously* Uuuh…

Mom: Kendall, are you two…more than friends?

Me: Mom, can we not talk about this…now *I say the last part quietly*

Mom: *laughs in shock* Sweetie, I just saw you kiss a boy

Me: He’s not just a boy

Mom: And what do you mean?

Me: He’s my boy—I mean—he’s my…boyfriend

Mom: *her eyes go wide* He’s gay—wait are YOU gay?

Me: Oh yeah, it’s this new thing everyone’s trying out *I give her a sarcastic look*

Mom: You didn’t answer me…?


Me: If that’s what you want to call it then YES mom, I’m gay! I like guys! *I sigh* And I’m sick of hiding it

Mom: *shakes her head* And I let him sleep in your ROOM last night—were you two taking advantage of me?

Me: No, never. We just enjoy each other’s company, like you and Rick—

Mom: Do not compare me and Rick…to you and—that friend of yours

Me: He has a name ya know? You two seemed to get along too? I don’t know why now he’s any different to you just because he’s gay—like me?

Mom: And how are you gay now; since when? Did he do this to you?

Me: *I just stare at her blankly*

Mom: *puts her hand to her forehead* I never thought in a million years you could ever be…that way

Me: Well “that,” isn’t so bad, mom. I actually feel more like myself lately. And happy

Mom: And that’s gay? *stares at me*

Me: SURE. But gay doesn’t define me. I’m still the same Kendall. Nothing else has changed

Mom: Honey, I just saw you kiss a guy

Me: Aaand?

Mom: AND, if you were in your right mind you’d know you don’t like boys. You like GIRLS. It’s always been that way

Me: Mom. Sorry…but no; just no. Maybe in YOUR world it’s that way, but for me I know what I like…and I feel good about it. Why do you have to make me feel bad about this?

Mom: *inhales deeply* I need a minute or—a day or two *walks away into the T.V. room*

Does she hate me? Did I do something wrong? Why is she acting this way?
Kevin walks down the stairs cautiously towards me…

Me: She hates me *I shake my head*

Kev: She doesn’t hate you. It’s just going to take her some time to get used to this… ‘new’ you *puts his hand on my shoulder*

Me: Psh, like hell that’ll happen *I push past him & walk upstairs to my room*


Later that night, I play my guitar to relieve some stress. But it still doesn’t help my frustration towards my Mom. I sigh & continue to find the chords on my guitar to make a good song, but still nothing comes to mind. Maybe just a nice long sleep will help…


•∞• Chapter 10 •∞•

Monday morning: After all the drama from the long weekend; I’ve become mentally exhausted from the whole ordeal. My mom still doesn’t know what to say or do around me—and I’m second-guessing everything; like, maybe how I shouldn’t have “chosen” to like guys— did I have a choice? Or was it my “fault?” Why am I blaming myself? I shouldn’t have to apologize for being who I am and liking who I want…?

At School: I meet up with Logan & Ariana outside & we walk inside together…


Ari: Where’s your new girlfriend, Loge?

L: Eh, it’s over

Me: But she was so…smiley

L: So it wasn’t just ME who noticed that? Cause it really started to freak me out

Ari: Honey, everybody’s noticed it—since like the 5th grade

L: For real?

A: Yes! *laughs*

L: Where have I been? *shakes his head & nudges my arm* Hey man, why so glum?

Me: Huh? Oh no, I’m fine, just a little tired

L: Long weekend?

Me: You have no idea *I give Ari a little look*

Ari: *widens her eyes* KENDALL, can you walk me to class?

L: Leaving already?

Ari: Yeah sorry, I just gotta do this thing…but I need Ken—see ya BYE *pulls on my arm & we go around the hall corner* Okay, tell me what happened *folds her arms & gives me a second look when I don’t speak* Did something happen with you and Tommy?

Me: No—well, yeah, actually *I smile a little*

Ari: *raises her eyebrows* Spill

Me: Well first, the real problem is…my Mom

Ari: Whaaat about her? Is she okay?

Me: She’s fine, but it’s just—she caught Tommy and I kissing

Ari: Ooo… *covers her mouth quickly* When?
Me: After you and Loge left, Tommy slept over
Ari: Oooh?
Me: We…got freaky in the sheets
Ari: Ooo—wait did your mom catch you guys in bed?
Me: Ew. No. The next morning we kissed goodbye and she saw us
Ari: OOOH…

Me: MMM HM. And I’ll tell ya, she wasn’t thrilled one bit *I run my hand through my hair*

Ari: Well that’s awkward

Me: Yeah for real. And she’s hasn’t been able to look me in the eye since it happened *I take a deep breath*

Ari: I’m so sorry sweetie *fixes my collar on my shirt*

Me: Eh, it’ll all work out eventually. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking though

The bell rings for first period class…

Ari: *hugs me*

Me: Thanks *I smile weakly at her* Better get to class, chica

Ari: Will do, chico *giggles*

In first period I feel more distracted than ever. I look up at Drew & see that the swelling in his nose has settled down since we last interacted. He gave me a quick nod & I smile back at him. Luckily my crush on Drew has faded—most likely because I have a BOYFRIEND now, but there’s no rule that says I still can’t admire his attractiveness…

Later around last period, I feel really antsy so I ask for a hall pass from my teacher & pretend to need the bathroom while instead wander around for a bit. I get a text from Tommy & he asks where I am now. I tell him the obvious, “I’m in school.” I shake my head confused but find it funny he asked. He texts me back telling me to come towards the front lobby. I walk in that direction, and then see him standing there.

Me: Tommy?! *I playfully push his chest & I look around self-consciously & lower my tone of voice* What’re you doing here?!

Tom: *laughs* Thought I’d surprise ya *gives me one of his charming grins*

Me: *I give him a tight hug** Aren’t you supposed to be in school?

Tom: Aren’t you supposed to be in class?

Me: I asked you first *I poke his chest with my index finger*

Tom: My class got out early, so I thought I’d surprise ya *puts his hands around my waist*

Me: *I smile & lean into him, then frown & pull his hands off of my waist, slowly* Um…

Tom: What’s the matter?

Me: *I whisper* Nobody knows about me…and us…

Tom: *gives me a small smile* Well then, they don’t have to. Your secret’s safe with me

Me: It’s already safe with you. But thanks. You’re so patient with me *I smile dreamy at him then snap out of it* I gotta get back to class!

Tom: Fiiiine. But first *looks around then pulls me by the front of my trousers for a close kiss*

Me: *I grin through our kiss* Okay, okay! I gotta go! Meet me by my locker after the bell!

Tom: Alright! *waves*

Me: Locker #23!

Tom: *laughs* Alright, mate!

After last period ends I walk out to my locker, & see Tommy already waiting for me. But at the same moment I realize I’ve made a big mistake telling him to meet me here— because, before I knew it I heard someone yelling at me from down the hall…

Alex: OH KENDAAAALL


Me: Shit *I rush over to Tommy so he’s not alone*

Tom: What? *he smiles, not aware of the situation at all whatsoever* You know that bloke?

Me: *I mumble to Tommy* Tommy you should actually go, I don’t want—

Alex: *standing behind Tommy & me* Ooo and you’re not alone. Who’s your little friend?

Tom: *holds out his hand to shake Alex’s* Name’s Tom—

Me: Nooo *I slowly pull his hand down*

Alex: AW, are you two holding hands, and being two fags in a pod?

Tom: *raises his eyebrows, surprised* And who’s this whacka? *looks Alex up & down*

Me: Just ignore him, Tom *I close my locker & grab Tommy’s wrist to pull him away* C’mon

Tom: *glaring at Alex*

Alex: Better go with your other half of the “fag” pod

Tom: With pleasure

Alex: I’m sure you do

Tom: ALRIGHT now

Tommy shakes me off & tries to punch Alex in the face but misses & then Alex punches him hard in the cheek; drawing a crowd from everyone in the hall…

Me: LEAVE HIM ALONE! *I grab his shoulders from behind*

Alex: Oh you wanna be next? *shrugs me off & pushes me against the lockers*

Me: *I close my eyes from the pain from the lockers*

Tom: Quit it, ya dill!

Alex: What’d you call me? *turns to Tommy, who’s on the floor*

Logan & Ariana come over to the scene…

Log: *yells at me*DUDE? You said you could handle this

Me: *I have no words & wince in pain while looking over at Tommy helplessly*

Log: *looks over where I’m looking* TOMMY?

Ari: *shoves Alex* You stay away from them! *walks over to Tommy & crouches down by him on the floor* What’re you doing here?

Tom: *rubs his cheek with his hand* I’m guessing I came at a bad time?

Ari: *shakes her head* Let me help you up
Me: *I walk over to Tommy & Ari*

L: *turns towards Alex* Dude what the hell’s your problem?!

Alex: WHAT?

L: *shoves Alex’s chest* That’s what

Alex: *shoves him back* I find it cute how you’re defending your faggy friends, Loge-y

L: Hey, careful what you’re saying, asshole!

Alex: Ooo, I’m so scared!

Me: *I bend down to touch Tommy’s cheek then I close my eyes & wince. I turn towards Alex & face him* I’d rather…I’d rather be a fag than have the whole school hate me, you jerk-off!

Alex: *widens his eyes & tries to come at me*

L: *holds Alex back* Stop this already!

A teacher in the hall finally sees the fight & decides to break it up. Logan shoves Alex towards the teacher & they grab Alex’s arm & walk off with him, while lecturing him again about fighting. Our “audience” in the hall walks away. I give Tommy a long hug then gently touches his cheek where Alex hit him. I caress it without even thinking & then Ari nudges me…

Ari: *lowers her voice* Ken *nods in the direction of Logan*

I look over at Logan who’s standing behind us & he has this bewildered look on his face. Everything happened so fast I forgot Logan was still here too…

Me: *I take a step closer to him* Loge…

L: Sooo how long has this been going on? *points at Tom & I*

Me: Loge, I wanted to tell you…

L: *raises his hands* I need…some time *walks away*
Ari: Let him go

Me: *I sigh & watch him disappear around the hall corner*

•∞• Chapter 11 •∞•

At my house, Kevin and I let Tommy rest on the couch & to the best of our ability “nurse him” back to health, so his parents wouldn’t see how badly he got hurt today. My mom is upstairs in her room, while Tommy and I are sitting alone now on the couch…

Me: God Tommy. I’m so sorry about all this

Tom: I told you no worries *holds his bag of frozen veggies close to his cheek to lessen the swelling*

Me: It’s my fault though. I just wasn’t thinking when I asked you to meet me—

Tom: Ken…It’s not your fault

Me: *I say sheepishly* Okay. Oh but your poor cheek *I put my hand on his face*

Tom: *smiles* I’ll survive. That Alex guy is really up himself, eh?
Me: If you’re talking about his ego…then yes
Tom: *chuckles* Correct
Me: *I wipe my brow* Phew
Tom: You know, you were really brave today

Me: Thanks *I sigh*

Tom: *puts his hand on my knee*

We kiss a little then decide it’s time for him to get back home. We softly kiss goodbye…

Tom: *points at me* You behave
Me: *I chuckle and give him my flirty eyebrows*
I open the front door for him to leave then we see Logan getting out of his car in my drive way. He walks over to us slowly. Tom walks past him with a worried look then Logan gives him a warm smile & pats his shoulder gently. Tom gives me a “you’ll be alright” look & walks to his car. Logan walks past me into my house with his hands in his pockets & a cautious look on his face. I walk back inside & close my front door. We walk into my T.V. room together & sit down on the couch together, & stay silent for a minute…

Log: *sighs loudly* Sooo…how long have you been…dealing with this?

Me: *I shrug* For a little while now. I was going to tell you…I just didn’t know how to start that type of conversation…

L: *gives me a light smile* Well you’re doing fine so far

Me: *I let out a little laugh* You know…there’s nothing different about me? I’m still…me

L: Cept the fact you dig dudes?

Me: Well…yeah

L: I don’t mean that in a bad way, by the way *elbows me*

Me: Oh I know *I say with a smile*

My mom walks down the stairs & into the kitchen to prepare dinner…

L: *looks down at his feet then looks up & cracks a side smile* Listen, you know you’re my best friend; we’re brothers for life. And I’ll still like you no matter who you like *pats my arm*

Me: *I take a deep breath* You don’t know how much of a relief it is to hear you say that

L: Then why’d you hold this secret in for so long!? Come here, man *stands up & holds his arms out for a hug*

Me: *I stand up to hug him & try to hold in my tears*
L: You don’t need to hide from me
Me: No. I really don’t
L: How long has Ari known?
Me: A while. Sorry
L: Hey, it’s your decision. It’s about you. Not me. I’m just glad you had someone to support you still
Me: Me too

L: *ends the hug* So uh, we all need to hang out for real now

Me: We do
L: Because the last time we hung out I was totally out of the loop!

Me: *I cover my face with my hand* Sorry about all this craziness

L: *smirks* It’s alright, man. We’re good *nods his head towards the front door*
I should get home for dinner. I just…wanted to come by and make sure you were okay. And that we’re…cool

Me: We’re always cool

L: Right *lets out a laugh of relief & stands up* Well uh, I guess I should get going home for dinner

Me: Same here. But…right over there in the kitchen *I stand up with him & walk over to my front door with him*
L: Later bro *punches my shoulder gently*
Me: *I laugh & open my door for him*

I watch him walk away then close my front door after he leaves. I catch my Mom watching us from the kitchen; I give her a small smile & go back into the T.V. room.
Later after dinner, I’m sitting on my bed playing guitar & I see Kevin walk by…

Me: Hey Kev!

Kev: *walks back to my door* Whaaat up?

Me: *I place my guitar down* Thanks for helping me with Tommy today

Kev: Oh, yeah sure bro. So this Alex guy…you never got to punch him back?

Me: *I walk towards him* Well I was sort of in shock over the whole situation…and ALSO, you were supposed to teach me how to do that, remember?

Kev: Crap! I knew I forgot something! *shakes his head* Let’s practice now

Me: *I pull him over to my bed & wrestle him*

Kev: Hey, whoa, not cool bro; I wasn’t even ready!

Me: *I laugh* Expect the unexpected!

Kev: *gets me into a headlock* NICE TRY

Me: Ow, ow, okay not fair! *I try to push him away*

We wrestle for a few minutes, & then we hear someone laughing at us…

Mom: *has her hands on her hips* Ah, just like the old days

Kev: Yeah, cause even then I could kick his butt! *wrestles me some more*

Mom: *shakes her head & laughs* Kevin honey, I’d like to speak to Kendall alone for a minute or two

Kev: Yeah sure *releases his grip on me* We’ll finish this later *points his finger & gives me a dramatic glare *

Me: Oh, it is so on

Mom: *closes my door & sits down on my bed & pats the space next to her*

Me: *I give her a wary look then sit down next to her*

Mom: *pats my leg* Sweetie, we can’t be like this forever

Me: Be like what?

Mom: This whole avoiding and having continuous resentment towards each other. You’re my son, and I should love you, gay, straight, poke -a –dots, whoever you want to be

Me: Mom, it’s who I am

Mom: *nods her head* Right *she hugs me* I’m still figuring it out too, Ken

Me: What made you wanna fix things?

Mom: *shrugs* Change of heart. Oh and I may have overheard you and Logan earlier

Me: *I let out a weak laugh*

Mom: I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. It was just a real…surprise

Me: You don’t have to apologize. I knew you’d come around eventually. Thanks for still loving me the same way

Mom: Oh sweetie, I’ll always love you no matter what *puts her arm around me & gives me a little side hug* Can you do me one thing?

Me: *I nod my head* Sure

Mom: Don’t change one bit

Me: That won’t be problem *I smile at her*

•∞• Chapter 12 •∞•

As the months pass by, Prom is JUST around the corner & then graduation isn’t too far along after that. It’s a Friday evening—also Tommy’s birthday—and I invite my friends over along with the birthday boy himself. We’re all sitting on the couch together watching T.V. I feel like talking to Tommy about Prom so I pull him into the kitchen, by his hand…

Tom: Ya alright?

Me: Uh, yeah. It’s just…Prom’s coming around the corner and…

Tom: *intertwines his fingers with mine* …You’re still not sure if we should go?

Me: *I look at our hands* I have no idea what we should do

Tom: Maybe we should go? Ya know? To prove a point

Me: What point?

Tom: Oh I dunno, maybe the fact that we’re lovers and if it’s anyone’s problem then they can go piss off *smiles & gives me a charming look*

Me: *I give him an excited look* We should go, right?

Tom: I think we should

Me: Well let’s do it!

Tom: Well alright! *he hugs me & we get all giddy with laughter*

Ariana & Logan hear our excitement & they walk into the kitchen…

Ari: *grins* What’s goin on in here?

L: *follows in after Ariana* Did someone propose in here?

Tom: *chuckles*

Me: *I laugh* We’re going to Prom!

L: Dude that’s awesome!

Tom: Yeah we’ll show them all *bumps my hip with his own*

Me: *I laugh & turn to Ari* Were you and Drew still going?

Ari: Nah, he kind of… moved on

Me: Oh no…I’m sorry bout that *I pat her arm*

Ari: *shrugs* It’s okay, really

Kevin: *walks into the kitchen to eat some more cake*

Me: *I give Kevin an un-amused look*

Tom: *taps Ari’s wrist* Hey, I bet ya I could find ya a date

Ari: *reaches out dramatically & grabs his shoulders* COULD YOU REALLY?

Tom: YES

Ari: *lets go of his shoulders* Not that I’m desperate

L: Oh not at all *chuckles*

Kev: *walks by her & acts all snarky* Obviously

Ari: *slaps his arm a couple times*

Kev: Ow girl, watch it *walks out of the room*

L: *shakes his head* When is he not an idiot?

Tom: *laughs*

Ari: Is that a trick question?

Me: *I crack up at them*

L: Yo, I’m thinking of bringing Mandy

Me: Smiley Mandy?

L: Yeah

Me: Uuuh? *I tilt my head to the side*

L: What? She was cool. And time is running out

Me: *I put my hand on his shoulder* Go for it

Tom: We’ll support your decision, mate

L: Thanks matey *messes up Tom’s hair with his hand*

Tom: *whines at Logan & fixes his hair* That’s pirate talk

Later, after Ariana & Logan leave, I bring Tommy upstairs. I hold his hand & tell him to close his eyes as I guide him upstairs to my room.

Tom: Can I open my eyes yet?

Me: Yup

Tom: Okay. It’s…your room?

Me: And we have it all to ourselves

Tom: *laughs & hits my arm* This is my surprise?

Me: Well, part of it. But I also wrote you a song

Tom: *blinks a couple times* Really?

Me: Really *I grin* Come on, sit

Tom: Alright, alright *sits down on my bed*

Me: *I grab my guitar*

Tom: Is there a certain way I should sit?

Me: *I chuckle at him* Something comfy

Tom: *excitedly crosses his legs into a pretzel on my bed*

Me: *I find my guitar & walk over to Tommy & stand in front of him* This song is for you, Tommy. Cause you mean the world to me, and I wouldn’t wanna be with anyone else. This song is called ‘You, that I love.” *I laugh nervously*

Tommy catches his breath & rests his elbows on his knees while resting his chin on his hands folded together as I start to play the guitar and sing the First Verse: “When I saw you, I knew it. When I kissed you, I felt it. I never thought anything would feel so right…but that moment with you. I can’t believe, can’t hide it, I like you, I mean it. All these words I sing are true.” I smile at him then sing the Chorus: “I can’t believe I found my one. When he smiles my whole body goes numb. And there’s no one else in this world that I’d rather be with now. It’s you…that I love…oooh.” I play a couple more verses then end the song and smile at him, seeing tears in his eyes.

Me: I…love you

Tom: *stands up & hugs me close & whispers into my ear* Love you too, dear

Me: *I start to tear up myself*

Tom: *leaves one hand on my waist & fixes my hair* I can’t believe you *smirks & pats my chest still all giddy from my song*

Me: So…do you think our families can meet yet?

Tom: *gives me a nervous look*

Me: You keep putting it off…what’s wrong?

Tom: Nothing’s wrong…it’s just…my parents. They aren’t exactly comfortable with my…poof lifestyle

Me: You mean being yourself?

Tom: *tilts his head at me annoyed* It’s complicated *sits on the edge of my bed*

Me: *I sit down next to him* Don’t you want to try and make it un-complicated? I mean, my Mom finally came around. I’m sure your parents will *I put my arm around him & caress his arm gently*

Tom: *looks at my hand on his arm* Mate, if I keep pushing it, they may kick me out of my own house

Me: Well we can’t have that happen. Why would they do that? And to their own son? I don’t get it


Tom: Lately, they’ve been ignoring me and just plain not wanting to have anything to do with me. It’s been more than 2 years since I came out and they still won’t accept me *sighs after speaking so quickly*

Me: I accept you. Don’t worry; they’ll come around some day. I mean they just HAVE to. You’re amazing

Tommy turns to me & gently grabs the back of my head—knowing it makes me weak in the knees. I look at him with caring eyes to let him know everything will be okay…

Tom: Come here *leans in and kisses me*

I smile at him & we sit in silence for a few peaceful minutes—then decide to kiss some more & enjoy the rest of the evening together…

•∞• Chapter 13 •∞•

It’s now Monday, a.k.a. the last week of school. Prom is this Saturday, and Graduation is next Monday. Also, ever since that day I stood up to Alex, all he does now is glare at me from afar.
After first period ends, Drew greets me from behind, by grabbing my shoulders & shaking me a little…

Drew: Hey buddy!

Me: Aye, long time no talk

Drew: Dude right? But hey, I heard about the fight you had with Alex. Sorry I wasn’t there to help you out. Had an early soccer practice

Me: No its fine, really. I handled it

Drew: Yeah I heard. OH and I think it’s chill that you’re into guys. I mean, you still seem like the same person. I dunno why people always freak out about things like this

Me: Thanks? *I laugh a little* I guess news travels fast round here

Drew: So true my friend

Me: Yeeeah *I shake my head*

Drew: *rubs his hands together* So uh, it’s like cool if I go out with Alison then, right?

Me: *I let out a snort-laugh* Go for it, man

Drew: Sweet dude! Okay imma go see her now, but I’ll talk to ya later! *rushes away*

Me: See ya!

I laugh at him then turn to start walking towards my second period class, but in the process bump into Alex…

Me: Oh…sorry *I walk right around him*

Alex: *gives me a long stare while I walk past him* Kendall?

Me: *I keep walking*

Alex: KENDALL? *follows me*

Me: What do you want? *I avoid eye contact and continue walking*

Alex: Listen, hear me out *steps in front of me*
-
Me: *I stop walking & hold onto my backpack strap feeling annoyed* Yes?

Alex: *clears his throat* I’m sorry, alright? For everything; I didn’t mean it all

Me: Uh, I’m pretty sure ya did

Alex: Okay, in all those moments maybe I did. But if I could…I’d take it all back. And all the crap I put you through this past year

Me: *I give him a slow look* Oh you’re serious now?

Alex: *whisper tone* Being in therapy and an anger management support group can make you say things like this—and mean it

Me: *I stare at him*

Alex: Also, it’s not fun anymore when the person you’re trying to bully suddenly grows a backbone—an some balls *smirks*

Me: *I smile a little then frown* It’s not “fun” to do that to people in the first place. It’s not like a hobby or something…

Alex: Yeah, I understand that more now

Me: Well good

Alex: *takes a deep breath* I just…wanted to leave off on a good note

Me: Of course. And what about all those other people you’ve tormented?

Alex: I’ve talked to some of them. But most of them kind of—ran away before I even got the chance to talk

Me: *I nod my head* Well, I’m glad you at least tried

Alex: *shrugs* Yeah, whatever

Me: And about the whole “Angela drama” thing we’ve had—I didn’t know you liked her when I went out with her last year. I don’t do crappy things like that on purpose, so…

Alex: Dude, you don’t have to worry about that now. You’re interested in guys, remember?

Me: *I look down at the ground & laugh* Right

The bell rings for second period class…

Alex: See ya *walks off to class*

Me: See ya *I stand in the hall befuddled*
•∞• Chapter 14 •∞•


The week breezes by and it’s already Saturday, which also means Prom Day! Tommy and I decided to be color coordinated in our tuxes; black/pink, pink/black.
Saturday evening, Tommy & I are getting ready in the downstairs bathroom near the kitchen. My mom peeks in on us…

Mom: OH you two look so adorable! *clicks a picture on her phone*

Me: Mooom

Tom: *chuckles & fixes my hair*

Rick: *yells to us from the kitchen table while chewing on some chips* So where’s your dates?!

Tom: *clears his throat awkwardly* About that…

Mom: *bites her bottom lip guiltily* You want to tell him?

Me: *I give her a “yeah right,” look*

Tom: I’LL tell him *walks over to Rick*
Me: Are you sure—?
Tom: *already walking to the kitchen* Sir, I’m Kendall’s date—and boyfriend

Me: *I gain some confidence & walk in & lock my arm around Tommy’s arm* Yeah. He’s ma date. And uh, I’m his

Rick: *blinks a couple times, then looks at my Mom* Aaand you weren’t going to tell me this?

Mom: No, I mean I was. Eventually

Rick: That sounds like a bunch of bull

Mom: *puts her hand on Rick’s shoulder* Rick, sweetie, you don’t need to get so angry—

Rick: How long have you known about this?

Mom: I wasn’t keeping it from you; the subject just never came around. I didn’t think it’d be a big deal

Rick: Not a big deal? *stands up* You must be high. You two, too *points at me & Tommy*

Mom: Excuse me?

Rick: Your son’s a fruit! And so is his man-friend here!

Mom: RICK. You’re being so— *stops talking & puts her hand up at Rick* You know what. I think you should leave

Tommy and I just stand next to each other silently while watching them…

Rick: Leave?

Mom: *crosses her arms*

Rick: Fine. I’ll leave. And maybe I just won’t come back *walks towards the front door*
Mom: Do us all a favor Rick and don’t come back
Rick: *glares at us* Freaks

Mom: OUT *walks over to him & pushes him towards the door*
Me: *I swing the door open*

Rick: *scowls at me & curses*

Tom: *slams the door shut*

Me: *I walk over to her* Mom…I’m so sorry

Mom: *shakes her head* Any guy who won’t accept my son or his partner has no purpose in my life *holds in her tears* I think I need to be alone now for a bit—but you two have a nice time tonight, okay? *fixes her hair & smiles at us, then slowly walks up the stairs to her room*

Me: *I sadly watch her* I always thought Rick was a jerk but I didn’t expect it on this level. Wow
Tom: One less whacka to worry about
Me: *I give him a weak smile*
Tom: *wraps his hand behind my waist & says into my ear* Come on, mate. The Prom’s waiting, and so are our friends

Me: Right. Let’s go!

Tom: That’s the spirit! And I’ll drive *pulls out his keys from his pocket*

Me: Oh you gentlemen

Tom: *laughs then opens my front door* After you

Me: *I walk past him* I’m blushing, Tom

Tom: *laughs & slaps me on the butt* SO cheeky *laughs & closes the door behind him*

•∞• Chapter 15 •∞•

We arrive at The Plaza where the Prom is being held, and the place looks so beautiful! The Prom Committee really went all out; there’s fairy lights dangling from every inch outside and inside—which gave the Prom a dream-like atmosphere. Tom & I look at each other with excitement. We eventually find Ariana & Logan, along with their dates. I bump fists with Logan…

Ari: You guys look great!

Me: So do you! *I look at her date & smile* You must be Julian?

Julian: You’d be correct

Me: I’m Kendall *I shake his hand*

Julian: Nice to finally meet you

Me: You too

Julian goes to school with Tom. He has a nice English accent. How charming. And he’s a looker for sure…

Tom: *grins & pats his friend on the arm* Fancy seeing you here, mate *laughs*

Julian: Seems like a pretty chill place

Tom: SO chill *grins at his friend*

Me: *I chuckle at them*

Mandy: Hi Kendall!

Me: *she startles me a little* Oh look it’s Mandy, everyone

Logan: *wraps an arm around her waist to pull her close*

Mandy: Doesn’t this place look AMAZE-ING?

Me: *I try to sound as enthusiastic as she is* It does! And so do you

Mandy: AWWW THANKS. So do you and your cute friend

Me: BOY-friend, actually *I smile at Tom*

Mandy: Really? O-M-G, that’s so fab!

Logan: I think its fab too! *says enthusiastically*

Me: *I give him a funny look & laugh*
Loge: Too much?
Me: Just a little bit

Later Drew and I see/acknowledge each other’s existence every once in a while during the night. I notice his date is Alison—my date I had for the V-day Carnival. Little awkward, but I’m happy for them. Finally, a slow song comes on & more people get onto the dance floor with their dates. Julian & Ariana seem to be hitting it off quickly. They look like they could already be a legit couple. And then there’s Logan and Mandy…he really does seem to like her a lot. Tommy distracts me out of thoughts, by caressing my arm all the way down to my hand & gently grabbing it. I take a deep breath getting caught up in the moment. I never guessed that this is where I would be in my life during my Senior year of high school. After our slow dance the music changes to a fun upbeat song…


Julian: *twirls Ari around by her hand & pulls her close* So you’re still a fan of me?

Ari: *giggles & pokes his chest* I was a fan even before you spoke with that cute accent of yours

Julian: *laughs* Funny, I felt the same about you

Ari: *shakes her head & blushes*

Logan: You know, you look really beautiful tonight, babe

Mandy: Aw, well so do you hon. *fixes his bow tie*

Later, we all take a break & sit together at a table & goof off. Logan & Mandy go back to dancing, while the rest of us still sit & talk.

Finally, the night ends & we all say our goodbyes, ready to see each other at Graduation. Tom & I hold hands while walking out of the Plaza. It seems like most people have gone home. We walk under a big walnut tree with the fairy lights shiny through the leaves…


Me: You’re still able to come to my Graduation, right?

Tom: Of course!

Me: *I smile* And I promise I won’t miss yours! Which is…when again?

Tom: *snorts* Wednesday, ya dag *tickles my side*

Me: Ah, hey! *I try to dodge his tickles* Is that all I am to you; a dag? *I give him a flirty look*

Tom: *he gives me a flirty look & pulls me by my tie for a long kiss*
Me: *I let out a deep sigh & say in a teasing yet longing way* Marry me
Tom: You have to behave yourself first
Me: You know I can’t
Tom: *chuckles* Defo
Me: *I stare longingly at his daring yet innocent eyes*
Tom: Ya ready to go home?

Me: Yep. I just need to find my ride *I look over Tommy’s shoulders’*

Tom: *hits my arm* You cheeky minx

Me: *I laugh & we decide to race to his car*

•∞• Chapter 16 •∞•


It’s now Monday: Graduation day! I finally get to move on & really live my life, and find out what I want to do with it. All of us “almost” Graduates’ are sitting outside in our chairs together, waiting for our names to be called to the stage. Drew’s sitting in front of me & I tap his shoulder.

Drew: *turns around & sees me* Hey dude! We’re finally graduating! WOOO! *gives me a high-five*

Me: TOOK us long enough!

Drew: Bro right? I can’t wait to get outta this crazy place

Me: I second that

Drew: *pauses before speaking* Hey, you and Tom are still together right?
Me: Yep. He’s here today, actually. Somewhere *I look around in the crowded audience behind us*

Drew: That’s nice. You two stay strong, alright?

Me: *I give him a warm smile* Thanks. And we will. By the way how are you and Alison?

Drew: Uh yeah—I broke it off. All she really wants to do is make out—like you said

Me: Can’t say I didn’t warn ya!

Drew: Dude I need oxygen and the girl won’t give me at least 5 minutes of it!

Me: I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM *I laugh & cover my face with my hand* I’m gonna miss you, Drew

Drew: Aw, don’t get all mushy on my account. We’ll still talk, for sure

We bump fists & continue listening for our names to be called to the stage. I get a text from Ariana, telling me that she & Julian have been chatting alot since the Prom. How awesome is that? And then I get another from Logan telling me how excited he is to graduate finally. He’s sitting further up from me near Ariana. I really am gonna miss seeing my friends’ every day. It’s my turn to go up for my diploma. I walk to the stage & smile at our audience who are clapping. Tommy comes to the front of the stage and throws a few flowers to me. He’s too sweet. Once everyone got their diplomas, Principal Crowie congratulates us, & then we all throw our graduation hats into the air all excitedly. Good bye high school & hello to the future!


•∞• THE • END •∞•

---