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- Story Listed as: True Life For Adults
- Theme: Love stories / Romance
- Subject: Aging / Maturity
- Published: 03/26/2022
Sometimes trying to decide do I tell this adventure as fiction or non fiction is difficult. See so much is going to be true and some names changed and some conversations won’t be word for word as I have a good memory, yet, not that good.
When I was in high school it was a requirement in our Junior year to take the Air Force equivalency test. Not a easy test and truth be known I didn’t even try that hard. Yet my scores were 98, 96 and 86. I learned later when I was called out of class to the superintends office, where the principal, a guy in military uniform and school guidance councilor waited, I had made scores that put me in the top ten in our state and top 10% in the country.
So they wished to affirm I had never seen the test before. Then I asked, so what’s the big deal? The guy in uniform informed me I could join any branch of service and choose almost any job I wished. This was in 1972 and the war in Vietnam was still a major battle.
I was excited, as a boy from a poor family this offered me open doors I would never had access too before. I was told that I could after basic go straight to modified college class and enter Nam at a minim at Lieutenant grade. Plus the high school would allow me to graduate the next year at mid term, as I had all the required credits needed. I was told to think about it, and I did.
I started to work on my parents that night. I knew it would take a lot of progressive carefully construed negotiations to get them to sign for me to enlist. I would not be 18 until November of 1972, the 1972-1973 school year.
So as it would happen the summer of 1972 was almost upon me, and I got an offer to go stay with my Uncle and his family to work for at that time the largest sawmill operation in America. I had been looking for a job that would pay me well as I knew my senior year would be expensive. Mom had already told me, senior pictures, Senior ring, graduation costs, was all on me.
The catch was I had to leave in a week and we still had over a month of school left. I made a trip again to the Superintendents office and asked to leave early. Young people that may read this story, pay attention to this.
He looked at me and pulled my records. It was required to have 21 credits, I had 26, honor roll every quarter of school. He decided if the teachers would agree to give me all my final tests in the next few days he would approve my request based on my record. They did and a week later I was in Arkansas.
I stayed the next five months, making great money, and many adventures for other stories. I was offered a deal to stay there go my senior year half days and work half days. I was ready to do that and wrote and told my folks.
Dad told me later Mom cried all week and they decided to come down and try to convince me to come home. That allowed me to do some negotiation. Can you guess what a big part of that was. Yep, I knew you could, lol. They agreed to sign my enlistment when the time came.
So back home at Carter County R2, when I went into registration for classes, I put down nothing but study hall. The principal told me that would not fly so I ended up taking two classes and working as secretary in the superintend office. I only went to those two classes on test days, lol.
In, I think, September along with two of my buddies I enlisted in US Air-force. We went to Saint Louis for the physical and other testing. Due to my high scores I had to take additional tests my buddies didn’t, so I spent the whole morning doing tests. Then the negotiations started.
They wanted me to take automotive engineering and I said no. They tried to get me to take electronics engineering and again I said no. We settled on Chaplin, and I would start as an assistant at rank of first Lieutenant. Basic and a short term college program and all kinds of benefits after my service time of four years. Haha I had planned on twenty years.
I started through the line to take the physical, feeling confident. My vision was corrected to 20/25 with glasses. I passed all with flying colors until the last testing stand. The eye doctor looked in my eyes and declared I could never enlist or be drafted into any branch of service.
A army Lieutenant was standing there, I turned to him and said can I ask a question? He said sure, I asked is it true if I give you a good right hook I will be accepted and put in the brig for a few weeks? He informed me, if I hit him the only thing that would happen is I would get my a…. Kicked from one end of the building to the other.
I made a choice to just go get dressed, but a Sargent stopped me. I showed him my paper work, he ordered me to go sit on a group of benches with maybe fifty other guys. A captain came in and had us stand and take the oath. So seems to me like I should be getting my pension, lol.
It was the up til then the worst day of my life, I was devastated, I wanted to cry. I boarded the bus back to Poplar Bluff in the lowest moral spirit I ever had. Even worse than when dad once beat me so bad I thought I was going to be killed.
Dad and mom were waiting at the bus stop to get me, and they told me we were going to Marquand Mo to a revival. I tried all I could to get them to just take me home, they won and I lost. It was a hour drive back the same way I had just passed by on bus. I was not dressed for church wearing kaki pants and a checkered shirt, not at all my usual dress standard.
We got to the country church, a white building with steeple. When we walked in the place was full. I found a seat toward the back and just settled in. The pastor came to the podium and asked all the young preacher’s to come sit on the stage. I joined about five others.
I sit down and the song leader came up, had us all stand as we sung the first song. As I was singing I looked out over the crowd and my eyes stopped and locked on the most beautiful girl I ever laid eyes on. I am sure I stopped singing, I stood in awe, as she was looking straight at me too, our eyes were locked on each other.
She was wearing a white blouse with a gold chain and a big blue stone necklace and a blue skirt that reached her knees. I sit down at end of song and still over the next few songs I was hypnotized because she was smiling, at me!
When I was asked to lead a testimonial service it was hard as I kept looking at her. She was the second to stand and give witness and her voice was like a hundred Robins singing in my heart. Afterwards we did a congregational time of shaking hands. My heart stopped, I know it did, she pushed past everyone as I was doing the same to reach each other.
I don’t know if she introduced herself first or if I did, mayhap we did it at the same time. Sandy and I stood talking as others headed back to their seats we found ourself the only ones still standing, holding hands. With red faces we rushed back to our seats. Soon as service ended, we were headed towards each other.
And there we stood locked in conversation forgetting everyone else and everything. Finally the pastors wife said, I need to turn off lights and lock up. We were the only two left in the building.
When we went outside our parents were standing together watching us with wide eyed emotions leaping out. I introduced Sandy to my folks, and she introduced me to hers. I knew I would be back every night of the revival if I had to drive it alone.
The two weeks passed to quickly and when I was back home I was calling her or her me and talking for hours, once the weekend came, her parents invited me over for the weekend and you can bet I was there. Sandy had a big family a sister older by a year and beautiful, just not as much.
We spent time sitting on her bed in her room, looking at photos and telling about our lives. Sandy was only a Junior and me a senior. As we walked the farm hands linked together I imagined this must be what it would feel like in heaven. When I had to go home, I could not bare it as she cried on my shoulder not wanting me to leave.
Over the up coming weeks we grew closer. I knew this was different than any girlfriends from before. Oh my I realized we were in love, we felt as one, we seemed lost without each other. Her photo seemed always in my hand and I am sure I talked about her in every conversation.
Dad was pastoring in Kennet Mo and her church came the very long drive to sing. Her parents let her stay with us a few days. Even when we got to my house we sit in the dark looking at the stars and talked. Oh of course we kissed, but rest assured neither of us ever tried for more.
Then I asked her to plan on marrying me as I slipped my senior ring on her finger. She cried as she said yes, her hug and tears on my cheek of joy will always remain one of my happiest moments. Her eyes were beautiful with wet tears, one pupil had a oblong color instead of round and I thought it gave her the deepest and most wonderful eyes in the world.
That weekend she told me I had to get permission from her folks. We sit in the back seat of their car after church on the way to her house, and asked them to wait a moment when we got to her house.
I have been scared before, but nothing like that moment. I said, I have something we need to ask you. I am asking to marry Sandy, and before you answer. I will start college next year, she will either finish high school here or perhaps we may not want to wait that long and she can finish where I am going to college.
Her dad looked at her mom, we knew this was coming just not when. We have talked about it, we will say yes but no setting dates yet. Your both young but if it happens when you finish college we will give you ten acres. Sandy you know which ones, your favorite place on the farm and help you build a house.
Her mom said you have to promise to do this as Sandy is special and I could not bare her far from us. I agreed, and we got out of car and Sandy led me to the spot by moon light. As we stood holding each other she pointed to where we could build the house.
She was talking on about how our kids could climb the same tree she always had. The moment was something beautiful. It was very late when we got back to house and she went to her room and I went to sleep in her brothers room. He says, so you really going to do it. I said yes we are, he said hmm never thought anybody would catch her.
I wish I could end here and say we lived happy ever after. For give me as I wipe a tear away. For you see that was not the case.
Sandy was a very dedicated young Christian woman. She loved church and the Bible like I did, which is why our hearts United so strong. She also thought her pastors wife was a prophet. That didn’t bother me, though I expressed I doubted that any real prophets existed any longer.
Just within three weeks from those happy days my life crashed. I walked in from school and mom met me at door. Mom was crying and said to call Sandy right now. I ran to phone, is she ok, my gosh what has happened? Mom walked away and said she called crying let her tell you, as she walked out.
My fingers shook so bad I could barely dial the phone. She answered on the first ring. She was crying so much it took several minutes before she could speak. I had slunk down to floor scared beyond belief.
Rickey, I put your ring in the mail today we can’t get married. I know a part of me died, to never live again. I got it out, why, she cried, I love you so much but the pastors wife had a vision. God does not want us married.
I exclaimed why? She started crying harder, and replied; she said any children we would have would be blind and freaks. I tried to once again to convince her that the pastors wife was no prophet and it probably was more her talking with her family wanting you not to get married so young.
She said bye, and she would always love me. I hung up the phone and went to my room and went into the deepest state of agony I have ever known. For the next two weeks I would not go to school, I wouldn’t leave my room, I talked to no one except to answer a question. Mom carried up food I wouldn’t eat but a bite or two.
Then after two weeks, I waited till everyone was asleep and slipped out. I owned a 1963 ford falcon, I got in it and drove to the forest tower. I got a piece of rubber hose out of the trunk and a jar I had in there.
I siphoned it full of gasoline and drank as much as I could. I remember reaching a point I was cold, so very cold though it was a warm night. I saw nothing but blackness and heard a sound like, buzz, buzz, buzz over and over. I couldn’t move and no thoughts, no pain, just that buzz, then it stopped.
Cold, left me as well, nothingness was all that remained. How long was I like that I have no idea. At last I saw a light far away in the darkness, I heard what seemed like a voice say, not yet. I came too and crawled out and tossed up what gas was left in my stomach.
I laid down on the car seat and remember nothing more till the sun was coming up. I drove home slipped in, I then went and cleaned up. Went down to have coffee and went to school. I had decided God wanted me to live and why would I allow a broken heart to rob me of all joy.
I felt a part of me was gone, my personality changed, I was making myself go. I got a offer from my oldest brother to go to St Louis and work. I made a trip again to the superintendents office and was approved again for mid term graduation. That weekend I moved to the city and worked till college as a shipping and receiving clerk.
At the end of May I went with my brother to a revival at Clarkton Mo. A girl I went to church with at the church Dad pastored was there as well. My sister in law was sitting behind me and convinced Deb to slip over by me and hold my hand.
I rode with her back to Kennet and we started dating. The feelings were not the same but I did love her. We ended up getting married in December of 1973 and made it until 2000 when she decided kids were grown and she wanted enjoy life on her own. Luckily we have remained friends and we just went down different life roads.
The reason I guess for sharing all this is, because it played a part, even if I didn’t know it, in who I am. Also, what died that day was reborn. I never expected that in my older years. Yet, sure as can be I met a lady in the Philippines, a cousin to my nephews wife.
The magic was there from the first time I saw her and we started to talk. The oneness and understanding, trust that had shattered was restored.
I will confess this as well, I am hardheaded, no doubt about that. Before I started to date Deb, my mom called me and wanted me to come home for the weekend. I did go, when I got there she met me at the door with a huge smile.
Seems Sandy was going to be singing at a church up town and called and begged my mom to get me there. Mom said she was sorry and wanted to start again. I did not go, nor take the phone call later.
Over the years I have asked my self why not. I don’t know except for fear. Fear I would feel what I once had felt only to loose it again. Fear the next time God would not wake me up when I broke. Fear I would not even be able to feel what was killed in me.
Fear can cause us to make many foolish choices, and yet that demon fear can cause us to make many right choices. A wise man once wrote the fear of God is the beginning of knowledge and he also said that fear of God is beginning of wisdom.
Over the many years I have always found ways to check on Sandy. When she did marry and where she lived in general. When I pastored a family moved to town that had gone to her church and knew her family well. When my youngest went to college she called me one night excited. Seems Sandy was working there and had met her.
Life is unpredictable and full of choices. So I admit I forgave Sandy even moments after she broke my heart. Fear however won out in not giving us a second chance. Right or wrong I have never questioned, as it does not matter. What mattered and I realized it the day I went back to school, was what lay ahead.
Note: The photo is awful but the only one of me and Sandy.
Was It Fear or Stupidity(Rich Puckett)
Sometimes trying to decide do I tell this adventure as fiction or non fiction is difficult. See so much is going to be true and some names changed and some conversations won’t be word for word as I have a good memory, yet, not that good.
When I was in high school it was a requirement in our Junior year to take the Air Force equivalency test. Not a easy test and truth be known I didn’t even try that hard. Yet my scores were 98, 96 and 86. I learned later when I was called out of class to the superintends office, where the principal, a guy in military uniform and school guidance councilor waited, I had made scores that put me in the top ten in our state and top 10% in the country.
So they wished to affirm I had never seen the test before. Then I asked, so what’s the big deal? The guy in uniform informed me I could join any branch of service and choose almost any job I wished. This was in 1972 and the war in Vietnam was still a major battle.
I was excited, as a boy from a poor family this offered me open doors I would never had access too before. I was told that I could after basic go straight to modified college class and enter Nam at a minim at Lieutenant grade. Plus the high school would allow me to graduate the next year at mid term, as I had all the required credits needed. I was told to think about it, and I did.
I started to work on my parents that night. I knew it would take a lot of progressive carefully construed negotiations to get them to sign for me to enlist. I would not be 18 until November of 1972, the 1972-1973 school year.
So as it would happen the summer of 1972 was almost upon me, and I got an offer to go stay with my Uncle and his family to work for at that time the largest sawmill operation in America. I had been looking for a job that would pay me well as I knew my senior year would be expensive. Mom had already told me, senior pictures, Senior ring, graduation costs, was all on me.
The catch was I had to leave in a week and we still had over a month of school left. I made a trip again to the Superintendents office and asked to leave early. Young people that may read this story, pay attention to this.
He looked at me and pulled my records. It was required to have 21 credits, I had 26, honor roll every quarter of school. He decided if the teachers would agree to give me all my final tests in the next few days he would approve my request based on my record. They did and a week later I was in Arkansas.
I stayed the next five months, making great money, and many adventures for other stories. I was offered a deal to stay there go my senior year half days and work half days. I was ready to do that and wrote and told my folks.
Dad told me later Mom cried all week and they decided to come down and try to convince me to come home. That allowed me to do some negotiation. Can you guess what a big part of that was. Yep, I knew you could, lol. They agreed to sign my enlistment when the time came.
So back home at Carter County R2, when I went into registration for classes, I put down nothing but study hall. The principal told me that would not fly so I ended up taking two classes and working as secretary in the superintend office. I only went to those two classes on test days, lol.
In, I think, September along with two of my buddies I enlisted in US Air-force. We went to Saint Louis for the physical and other testing. Due to my high scores I had to take additional tests my buddies didn’t, so I spent the whole morning doing tests. Then the negotiations started.
They wanted me to take automotive engineering and I said no. They tried to get me to take electronics engineering and again I said no. We settled on Chaplin, and I would start as an assistant at rank of first Lieutenant. Basic and a short term college program and all kinds of benefits after my service time of four years. Haha I had planned on twenty years.
I started through the line to take the physical, feeling confident. My vision was corrected to 20/25 with glasses. I passed all with flying colors until the last testing stand. The eye doctor looked in my eyes and declared I could never enlist or be drafted into any branch of service.
A army Lieutenant was standing there, I turned to him and said can I ask a question? He said sure, I asked is it true if I give you a good right hook I will be accepted and put in the brig for a few weeks? He informed me, if I hit him the only thing that would happen is I would get my a…. Kicked from one end of the building to the other.
I made a choice to just go get dressed, but a Sargent stopped me. I showed him my paper work, he ordered me to go sit on a group of benches with maybe fifty other guys. A captain came in and had us stand and take the oath. So seems to me like I should be getting my pension, lol.
It was the up til then the worst day of my life, I was devastated, I wanted to cry. I boarded the bus back to Poplar Bluff in the lowest moral spirit I ever had. Even worse than when dad once beat me so bad I thought I was going to be killed.
Dad and mom were waiting at the bus stop to get me, and they told me we were going to Marquand Mo to a revival. I tried all I could to get them to just take me home, they won and I lost. It was a hour drive back the same way I had just passed by on bus. I was not dressed for church wearing kaki pants and a checkered shirt, not at all my usual dress standard.
We got to the country church, a white building with steeple. When we walked in the place was full. I found a seat toward the back and just settled in. The pastor came to the podium and asked all the young preacher’s to come sit on the stage. I joined about five others.
I sit down and the song leader came up, had us all stand as we sung the first song. As I was singing I looked out over the crowd and my eyes stopped and locked on the most beautiful girl I ever laid eyes on. I am sure I stopped singing, I stood in awe, as she was looking straight at me too, our eyes were locked on each other.
She was wearing a white blouse with a gold chain and a big blue stone necklace and a blue skirt that reached her knees. I sit down at end of song and still over the next few songs I was hypnotized because she was smiling, at me!
When I was asked to lead a testimonial service it was hard as I kept looking at her. She was the second to stand and give witness and her voice was like a hundred Robins singing in my heart. Afterwards we did a congregational time of shaking hands. My heart stopped, I know it did, she pushed past everyone as I was doing the same to reach each other.
I don’t know if she introduced herself first or if I did, mayhap we did it at the same time. Sandy and I stood talking as others headed back to their seats we found ourself the only ones still standing, holding hands. With red faces we rushed back to our seats. Soon as service ended, we were headed towards each other.
And there we stood locked in conversation forgetting everyone else and everything. Finally the pastors wife said, I need to turn off lights and lock up. We were the only two left in the building.
When we went outside our parents were standing together watching us with wide eyed emotions leaping out. I introduced Sandy to my folks, and she introduced me to hers. I knew I would be back every night of the revival if I had to drive it alone.
The two weeks passed to quickly and when I was back home I was calling her or her me and talking for hours, once the weekend came, her parents invited me over for the weekend and you can bet I was there. Sandy had a big family a sister older by a year and beautiful, just not as much.
We spent time sitting on her bed in her room, looking at photos and telling about our lives. Sandy was only a Junior and me a senior. As we walked the farm hands linked together I imagined this must be what it would feel like in heaven. When I had to go home, I could not bare it as she cried on my shoulder not wanting me to leave.
Over the up coming weeks we grew closer. I knew this was different than any girlfriends from before. Oh my I realized we were in love, we felt as one, we seemed lost without each other. Her photo seemed always in my hand and I am sure I talked about her in every conversation.
Dad was pastoring in Kennet Mo and her church came the very long drive to sing. Her parents let her stay with us a few days. Even when we got to my house we sit in the dark looking at the stars and talked. Oh of course we kissed, but rest assured neither of us ever tried for more.
Then I asked her to plan on marrying me as I slipped my senior ring on her finger. She cried as she said yes, her hug and tears on my cheek of joy will always remain one of my happiest moments. Her eyes were beautiful with wet tears, one pupil had a oblong color instead of round and I thought it gave her the deepest and most wonderful eyes in the world.
That weekend she told me I had to get permission from her folks. We sit in the back seat of their car after church on the way to her house, and asked them to wait a moment when we got to her house.
I have been scared before, but nothing like that moment. I said, I have something we need to ask you. I am asking to marry Sandy, and before you answer. I will start college next year, she will either finish high school here or perhaps we may not want to wait that long and she can finish where I am going to college.
Her dad looked at her mom, we knew this was coming just not when. We have talked about it, we will say yes but no setting dates yet. Your both young but if it happens when you finish college we will give you ten acres. Sandy you know which ones, your favorite place on the farm and help you build a house.
Her mom said you have to promise to do this as Sandy is special and I could not bare her far from us. I agreed, and we got out of car and Sandy led me to the spot by moon light. As we stood holding each other she pointed to where we could build the house.
She was talking on about how our kids could climb the same tree she always had. The moment was something beautiful. It was very late when we got back to house and she went to her room and I went to sleep in her brothers room. He says, so you really going to do it. I said yes we are, he said hmm never thought anybody would catch her.
I wish I could end here and say we lived happy ever after. For give me as I wipe a tear away. For you see that was not the case.
Sandy was a very dedicated young Christian woman. She loved church and the Bible like I did, which is why our hearts United so strong. She also thought her pastors wife was a prophet. That didn’t bother me, though I expressed I doubted that any real prophets existed any longer.
Just within three weeks from those happy days my life crashed. I walked in from school and mom met me at door. Mom was crying and said to call Sandy right now. I ran to phone, is she ok, my gosh what has happened? Mom walked away and said she called crying let her tell you, as she walked out.
My fingers shook so bad I could barely dial the phone. She answered on the first ring. She was crying so much it took several minutes before she could speak. I had slunk down to floor scared beyond belief.
Rickey, I put your ring in the mail today we can’t get married. I know a part of me died, to never live again. I got it out, why, she cried, I love you so much but the pastors wife had a vision. God does not want us married.
I exclaimed why? She started crying harder, and replied; she said any children we would have would be blind and freaks. I tried to once again to convince her that the pastors wife was no prophet and it probably was more her talking with her family wanting you not to get married so young.
She said bye, and she would always love me. I hung up the phone and went to my room and went into the deepest state of agony I have ever known. For the next two weeks I would not go to school, I wouldn’t leave my room, I talked to no one except to answer a question. Mom carried up food I wouldn’t eat but a bite or two.
Then after two weeks, I waited till everyone was asleep and slipped out. I owned a 1963 ford falcon, I got in it and drove to the forest tower. I got a piece of rubber hose out of the trunk and a jar I had in there.
I siphoned it full of gasoline and drank as much as I could. I remember reaching a point I was cold, so very cold though it was a warm night. I saw nothing but blackness and heard a sound like, buzz, buzz, buzz over and over. I couldn’t move and no thoughts, no pain, just that buzz, then it stopped.
Cold, left me as well, nothingness was all that remained. How long was I like that I have no idea. At last I saw a light far away in the darkness, I heard what seemed like a voice say, not yet. I came too and crawled out and tossed up what gas was left in my stomach.
I laid down on the car seat and remember nothing more till the sun was coming up. I drove home slipped in, I then went and cleaned up. Went down to have coffee and went to school. I had decided God wanted me to live and why would I allow a broken heart to rob me of all joy.
I felt a part of me was gone, my personality changed, I was making myself go. I got a offer from my oldest brother to go to St Louis and work. I made a trip again to the superintendents office and was approved again for mid term graduation. That weekend I moved to the city and worked till college as a shipping and receiving clerk.
At the end of May I went with my brother to a revival at Clarkton Mo. A girl I went to church with at the church Dad pastored was there as well. My sister in law was sitting behind me and convinced Deb to slip over by me and hold my hand.
I rode with her back to Kennet and we started dating. The feelings were not the same but I did love her. We ended up getting married in December of 1973 and made it until 2000 when she decided kids were grown and she wanted enjoy life on her own. Luckily we have remained friends and we just went down different life roads.
The reason I guess for sharing all this is, because it played a part, even if I didn’t know it, in who I am. Also, what died that day was reborn. I never expected that in my older years. Yet, sure as can be I met a lady in the Philippines, a cousin to my nephews wife.
The magic was there from the first time I saw her and we started to talk. The oneness and understanding, trust that had shattered was restored.
I will confess this as well, I am hardheaded, no doubt about that. Before I started to date Deb, my mom called me and wanted me to come home for the weekend. I did go, when I got there she met me at the door with a huge smile.
Seems Sandy was going to be singing at a church up town and called and begged my mom to get me there. Mom said she was sorry and wanted to start again. I did not go, nor take the phone call later.
Over the years I have asked my self why not. I don’t know except for fear. Fear I would feel what I once had felt only to loose it again. Fear the next time God would not wake me up when I broke. Fear I would not even be able to feel what was killed in me.
Fear can cause us to make many foolish choices, and yet that demon fear can cause us to make many right choices. A wise man once wrote the fear of God is the beginning of knowledge and he also said that fear of God is beginning of wisdom.
Over the many years I have always found ways to check on Sandy. When she did marry and where she lived in general. When I pastored a family moved to town that had gone to her church and knew her family well. When my youngest went to college she called me one night excited. Seems Sandy was working there and had met her.
Life is unpredictable and full of choices. So I admit I forgave Sandy even moments after she broke my heart. Fear however won out in not giving us a second chance. Right or wrong I have never questioned, as it does not matter. What mattered and I realized it the day I went back to school, was what lay ahead.
Note: The photo is awful but the only one of me and Sandy.
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