Talk to the Cat(Marla) Logan was looking forward to date number four with Hannah. Last week, they’d found that they both liked the movie The Princess Bride, so she’d suggested dinner and that movie at her apartment.

He knocked on her door, the Chinese take-out in his other hand. She was dressed casually and simply in jeans and a sweater, but she still looked lovely. “Come in,” she said.

He stepped inside, closed the door, and handed her bag, “For you.”
She laughed as he removed his shoes and placed them neatly by the door. “Well, I hope there’s enough for both of us. It’d be awkward to eat while you just sit,” she said.

He gave her a grin. “That would be odd,” he agreed.

A cat leaped lightly from the couch and walked toward him. Logan wasn’t particularly fond of cats, but he was prepared for this. Hannah had mentioned her and had asked if he was allergic.

“Hey, Kitty,” said Logan, feeling foolish for speaking to a cat. The cat just stared in that eerie way that cats do.

“She’ll warm up to you,” said Hannah. “I have the table ready. Want to eat?”
“Definitely.”

She led him to the small but cozy table. It was set beautifully with white plates and tall candles. She lighted the candles and dimmed the kitchen light.

A few minutes into the dinner, the cat placed herself onto one of the empty chairs at the table. She didn’t get on the table. She just stared, first at Logan, then at Hannah.

“Meow,” said Hannah.

“Meow,” said the cat.

Logan didn’t say anything. This was a new thing to him. Was he supposed to laugh? Was he supposed to look surprised? Was he supposed to join in? He had no clue. He only knew that the seemingly perfect evening already felt a little less perfect.

“So, tell me about your day,” he said to Hannah. That helped a little, as the conversation between him and Hannah started and then flowed naturally. Still, every few minutes, Hannah and the cat meowed at each other. Logan, still unsure, tried to keep his expression neutral.

The clean up after dinner was quick and easy, and it wasn’t long before Logan and Hannah were side by side on the couch, ready to watch the movie. Logan started to relax. The Princess Bride was a favorite of his, and they were going to have fun watching it together. Only ten minutes into it, however, the cat appeared again. She meowed at Hannah and Hannah meowed back, and Logan felt himself getting annoyed. Then the cat got onto Hannah’s lap, and Hannah said to the cat, “Oh, poor, jealous baby. Meow.”

“Great,” thought Logan.

The evening didn’t improve. Hannah paid more attention to the cat than she did to the movie or to Logan. He didn’t linger long when the movie was over. He turned down Hannah’s offer of a second movie. Never had he felt so relieved to get away from a date. Hannah had seemed so sweet and so normal on the first three dates, but she was clearly a nutcase. Who talks to their cats like that? He knew people with dogs who didn’t bark at their dogs. His dad had a horse, and his dad didn’t attempt horse noises as far he knew, anyway. He was certain that he’d never seen people at the park quack at the ducks. So, what in the world was this about? Well, lesson learned. Apparently, “Do you meow at your cat?” would be a question he’d have to ask women before he dated them. Logan shook his head as he stepped into the car. He turned on his favorite radio station.
……………………………

Dana, Hannah's friend, called. "So, how was your night in?" she asked.

“I don’t think he’s right for me,” Hannah replied.

“Oh! I thought you really liked this one. What happened?”

“He didn’t pass the cat test,” said Hannah.

Dana laughed. “You’re serious?”

“Look, I talk to my cat. You talk to yours, too. Plenty of people talk to their cats. The guy for me will be comfortable with that, and I could tell that Logan wasn’t.”
……………………………….

Two years later, Hannah’s new neighbor knocked on her door.

“Hi, neighbor. So sorry to bug you, but do you happen to have a can opener? It’s not that I don’t have one. It’s just that I have no idea what box it’s in,” he said.

“Sure,” said Hannah. “Hold on a sec.”

She went to the kitchen, leaving the handsome stranger standing by the door.
As she returned, she saw her cat walking toward him.

“Meow,” said the cat.
Without a moment’s hesitation, and with full confidence, and with a friendly, soft voice he looked right at the cat and said, “Meow.”

Hannah almost dropped the can opener. The new neighbor suddenly looked even more handsome. She drew a deep breath and then said, “Here you go,” as she handed him the can opener.

He grinned. “Thanks so much. I’ll bring it back in just a few minutes.”

After he returned the can opener, Hannah sat down on the couch and picked up the phone.

“Dana!" Hannah exclaimed. "I have to tell you about my new neighbor!"

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