Where you should Be(Kerri) You had the audacity to ask me why I didn’t fight back, but I don’t think you understand what our bodies and our minds do to protect us from further harm. You violated me, then threatened death if I told anyone what you did. This to me, means on some level you knew what you did was wrong. Sexual violence is not what you see in the movies, and fighting off ones attacker very rarely occurs. That does not mean we consented. It means our brain recognised we were in danger and shut down all communication between our minds and our bodies to preserve life. You took advantage of me, then tried to convince me you had done nothing wrong because I didn’t fight back. Let me assure you, during and to this day I envision it. But the difference between you and me is I could never inflict that pain on you or anybody else. Pushing off ones attacker is something the media has you believe but this does not happen in real life. I did not consent and my mammalian or reptilian part of my brain which is responsible for the ‘freeze’ reaction kicked in and did its upmost to ensure I lived another day.

What I am coming to terms with is that you will probably never fully understand how your actions affected me, because people like you don’t think of the other person. They think about power, control and self entitlement.

I am fighting back now to change our judicial system so that future victims of sexual violence can see their perpetrators behind bars for their actions. Where you should be.

---