Thoughts To Make You Think(Tom Keltner) ABRAHAM LINCOLN:

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

My great concern is not whether you have failed ….. but whether you are content with your failure.

Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar

WINSTON CHURCHILL

A lie gets half way around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

I may be drunk miss, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly.

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

ALBERT EINSTEIN

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. (over 100 years ago)

Intellectuals solve problems ….. geniuses prevent them.

Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.

MARK TWAIN

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress ….. but I repeat myself.

WILL ROGERS

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and went to California ….. it raised the IQ of both states.

Good judgement comes from experience ….. and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

I don’t make jokes ….. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned on things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.

The only difference between death and taxes ….. is that death does not get worse every time congress meets.

OSCAR WILDE

A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.

Bigamy is having one too many wives. ….. So is monogamy.

We are all in the gutter ….. but some of us are looking at the stars.

STEPHEN SONDHEIM

Better take the moment present ….. as a present for the moment (from “Into the Woods”)

The prettier the flower ….. the farther from the path (from “Into the Woods”)

GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul ….. can always rely on the support of Paul.

CONFUCIUS
The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.

It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them.

ARISTOTLE

Youth is easily deceived since it is quick to hope.

The worst form of inequity is trying to make unequal things equal (350 BC)

DESIDERATA

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt, the universe is unfolding as it should.

If you compare yourself with others you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, they too have their story.

As far as possible ….. without surrender ….. be on good terms with all persons.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

COMEDIANS
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family ….. in another city. (George Burns)

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy (Sam Levinson)

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. (George Carlin)

If I had my life to live again, I would make the same mistakes ….. only sooner (Tallulah Bankhead)

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is ….. we’ll find it. (Sam Levinson)

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. (Stephen Wright)

I liked myself better when I wasn’t me. (Carol Burnett)

Tragedy is when I cut my finger ….. comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die (Mel Brooks)

I always wanted to be somebody ….. but now I realize I should have been more specific (Lily Tomlin)

My belt holds my pants up, but my belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero? (Mitch Hedberg)

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric, more realistic in their view of the world, more humble in moments of success, and less defeated in times of travail. (Bob Newhart)

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening ….. but this wasn’t it. (Groucho Marx)

OTHER GREAT THOUGHTS

We hang the petty thieves ….. and appoint the great ones to public office (Aesop)

Beauty is worse than wine ….. it intoxicates both the holder and the beholder. (Aldous Huxley)

What money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. (Bob Dylan)

Without music ….. life would be a mistake (Frederick Niche)

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep ….. but I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion (Alexander the Great)

Life can only be understood backwards ….. but it must be lived forwards (Soren Kierkegaard)

Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking. (H. Jackson Brown)

Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them. (Rose Kennedy)

The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about (Wayne Dyer)

Trust in Allah ….. but tie your camel anyway. (overheard at a conference)

Life must be lived as play (Plato)

To succeed in life you need 3 things: A wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone (Reba McEntire)

Always remember that you are absolutely unique ….. just like everyone else. (Margaret Mead)

I saw a woman wearing a tee-shirt with “Guess” on it. I said “thyroid problem?” (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

Smile in the mirror. Do that every morning and you’ll start to see a big difference in your life. (Yoko Ono)

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle (Alfred Hitchcock)

All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist when they grow up. (Pablo Picasso)

They always say time changes things, but actually, you need to change them yourself. (Andy Warhol)

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent (Eleanor Roosevelt)

My fault, my failure is not the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them. (Jack Kerouac)

Perhaps it’s good for one to suffer. Can an artist do anything if he is happy? Would he ever want to do anything? (Aldous Huxley)

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. (Shakespeare)

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therin to be content (Helen Keller)

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose. (Bill Gates)

The two big advantages I had at birth were to have been born wise and to have been born in poverty. (Sophia Loren)

Always be a first-rate version of yourself rather than a second-rate version of someone else. (Judy Garland)

If you want to make the word a better place, take a look at yourself and just make the change. (Michael Jackson)

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