The Big Beyond.(Kevin Hughes) I hadn’t been dead that long…maybe a week or so had gone by in Life. Or should I say: “Among the living.” It turns out that Time is not a thing for those of us who are dead. Okay, maybe it is, but it isn’t the Time that living people experience…or know. So I guess I can be forgiven for not knowing about the small bench next to the River of Time.

Earth is tiny. Almost insignificant really. That “pale Blue Dot” picture (taken almost on a whim by a suggestion from the Famous Carl Sagan…whom I have met and thanked by the way) really does show that we are really a “mote in God’s eye.” That tiny blue pebble in space holds the dreams, goals, heartbreak, love, success and lives of every Human that has ever lived. And it is tiny. Just a speck. From here it looks even smaller. Only Life gives it a glow you can’t find anywhere in the Big Beyond.

Life leaves almost a phosphorescent glitter on the surface of the River of Time as it flows across living things. Whole lifetimes in a single sparkle. It is much more delightful to look at then those beautiful scenes that a Nature Documentary portray out at sea, or from a submersible. We can focus in on a single glow, or merely sit back and watch them all flow right by. We sit unnoticed by life. For we are Dead. No longer alive. Bereft of both wind and heartbeats. We …well never mind, if you have seen the sketch by Monty Python, you get the drift. We have joined the Heavenly Choir…which, by the way, does not exist.

We don’t sing.

Okay, I digress. So one day (and what the heck is a day, when Eternity is now your calendar?) my Best Friend wandered over to me. He died well before I did. We had worked out three signals to send back to the one left alive, if one of us died first. I never got any signals. Ed wasn’t there when I first died either. Neither were any of my relatives. No bill collectors either. (That last one was a joke) It was just me and few million other poor sods who had died in that particular moment. We were swept out of the River of Time of the living onto the shoals, shores, and shorelines, of Timelessness. We had gone to the Big Beyond.

It turns out that if you had all the Time in the World, it would’t be much compared to Eternity. Our Time in the Big Beyond, is not your Time on the pale blue dot. So forgive me for making it sound so bleak. It isn’t. It is wonderful in a way that the living have no analog for. Like bumping into Ed. Even tho he left his body behind, the little smirk he had when he was right (and knew it), left an imprint I could spot a million miles away on the form he had now. He made me laugh when his first words were:

“Now you know why I didn’t send a signal. No time.”

Yep. No Time is hard to get used to. But getting close to my best friend took no time either. All we had shared was still there, except uncovered by the limits of just five senses. It turns out, I liked all of Ed…and he felt the same way. Remarkable to know everything about someone…and accepting them just as they are. Everyone does it when they are dead. It is one of the perks.

You can’t hide behind words, intentions, or deeds…here in the Big Beyond. All is exposed. All is forgiven. Not all is forgotten. But just like among the living, what was in your lunch box at school when you were seven years old, on the second Tuesday of the second week of First Grade, in Mrs. Parson’s Class at the old Grade School, doesn’t stick. You know you ate that day, but you don’t remember when that day of the week was, or care. That’s what looking back at Life when you are Dead kinda feels like. Again, remember please, there is no analog for Living when you are Dead.

Damn. I digressed again. Sorry.

Ed asked if I had seen the bench.

“What bench?”

I pointed out the very salient fact that neither of us had bodies. Nor knees. So how in the world could we sit on a bench.

His eyes fluttered. Metaphorically. As literally, he had no eyes. I told you…no analogs. But…I felt it anyway because it was part of Ed.

“Come on, I’ll show you.”

With that, he was off and running. Laughing his head off the whole time. Ed had chicken legs. I had thick calves and strong thighs. But Ed was faster…at least in a straight line. We were both quick…hence surprising the heck out of many bigger boys (and men) when we played two on two basketball back in our Living days. He never wore shorts because of his chicken legs. Not until the very end of his life. I on the other hand, wore almost exclusively shorts. I liked showing off my legs.

So, yeah, we weren’t really “running”, and we didn’t have clothes on either (I mean, without a body, where would you hang the clothes?) But the feelings were there. Ed could beat me in any sprint shorter than a mile…but after that, I could finally catch up. Even in the Big Beyond it felt like I was just drawing even with him when he stopped.

“No fair. You didn’t say “Go!”

And we laughed at the memory playing out inside of us.

Sure enough, there was the bench. He led me over to it and we “sat down”.

I could feel his smile beside me when I gasped.

He put his arm around my back, patted my shoulder, and said:

“Yeah, I know. Cool, eh?”

I didn’t have words.

I watched as people I knew when I was alive, went about their day.

I saw my kids and grandkids, my widow, my brothers and sister. Heck, I even saw my old neighbors. Every once in a while…I would see a very bright flash, and get a tingle.

“What the heck is that?”

I showed Ed one of the bright flashes and the tingle.

“Oh, that happens when ever anyone you knew…who is still on Earth…thinks about you. Kinda feels good, doesn’t it?”

If I had eyes, I would have cried.

My Widow was explaining to my newest grandson how “Pop-Pop” used to love swimming with his Mommy. She stopped mid sentence and had a flashback to the two of us wading just off shore floating in the ocean holding hands. It made her smile more intense. I shivered. I swear she looked up.

Ed put his hand back on my shoulder.

“Yeah, she felt that. We can’t always break through, but sometimes, when we watch them…they know.”

“But Ed, I love her …why don’t I miss her?”

He pointed…there was his Widow. She was just getting back in her car…a small item she had picked up at garage sale was nestled in one arm. I could see the sparkle from here. I caught the reflection of the sparkle in Ed demeanor. I saw her look around, as if she knew Ed was near. She winked at the air:

“I knew you would like it Ed.”

And he did.

“I don’t get it…what’s going on?”

Ed smiled again.

“You are watching the River of Time flow. You aren’t in that flow. You can’t be, you are dead. There is no time here. That is why you don’t miss your girl. She will be here when she is supposed to be…and you can come to the bench and watch your grandkids together.”

“Yeah, but what happens when nobody is left alive that knew me?”

He got that snicker on his face again.

“Then the bench goes away. Everyone you love will be here.”

It is hard to imagine that you will never have to leave anyone you ever loved ever again. They will all be here. Since there is no Time here…you have Time for them all. Finally I understood Heaven. The Joy is because all that you loved, and all the love you gave, stay forever. I bumped into my Mom and Dad…they told me that they had seen me from the bench.

“You did just fine.”

Said my Dad.

“You’re grandkids are cute. I am so glad you told them about us.”

That made me smile.

Ed and I sat on the bench a few more times. I pointed out some flashes in the River of Time. He pointed out some others. No pain. No worries. No sense of purpose. We loved the ones still caught in the flows of time…just as they were. Suffering does not make it out of the River of Time. Only the joy of knowing you exist makes it over to the Big Beyond.

Pain comes from loss…and in the Big Beyond…there is no loss.

Everyone gets here eventually. Some need the bench. Others do not.

I bump into Ed, and he points back in the River of Time to him leaping out a bedroom window - his girlfriend quickly buttoning up her blouse. We both giggle at the flash he feels.

I sit on the bench later, by myself. I watch my Widow go to our bed. She reaches out with one hand and caresses the part of the bed I used to sleep on.

“I’m sorry Honey. I don’t mean to hog the whole bed.”

I send a flash back to her.

“It’s okay, Babe. Sleep well.”

I see her hand brush her cheek…a small smile on her face…she touches where my lips would have met her flesh.

“Okay, let’s get this over with.”

I feel the chuckle form in her mind just before she falls asleep. She used to say that when I bent over to tuck her in at night.

She knows I am watching. And I love her.

And that is the only signal that ever gets through.

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