Feelings

Feelings

Feelings… feelings are what drove us apart. Our friendship was strong, our friendship was kind, our friendship was comforting. I blame myself. You were perfect. You were always there, always made me feel like you were at least. You probably didn't care but you saved me. When I was at my lowest and nobody knew you always did. It made me feel important when you switched from smirking at me to only talking to me in a big crowd. It made me joyful when you finally knew my name. It was my fault, yet I blame you. I miss you. I miss having someone I can call my best friend. I want you not acknowledging me to not bother me but it does. I want to hate you but I can’t. We were so close and I know the old you is inside somewhere. It was this summer the day my friends told me to tell you that I liked you. I did, I gave in. It was awkward because you were obsessed with someone else. It started as a little crush that I didn’t care about, a crush I wasn’t going to announce. As soon as I did you cut me out. You lied to protect my feelings like you always do, but this time I could see right through you. I acted like nothing happened. I texted you, I called you, I snapped you, nothing… It was like I didn’t mean anything to you. Now in the hallways it’s like I'm a ghost. Every time I walk past you my heart breaks more and more. I don’t want you to like me, I want you to say something. Tell me you don’t want to be my friend, tell me to stop trying, yet you never do. I'm alone. I see you talking to my old friends that we always talked about, but not me. Not only this but you never did like me. You felt sorry for me. You knew I had no friends and tried to be nice. You were. This time I won’t open up like I did for you. You told people you should never trust things but not me. If I didn’t tell you I had feelings for you, things would be different. I have cut myself off from showing feelings. I’m the girl in the corner.