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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Inspirational
- Subject: Personal Growth / Achievement
- Published: 11/09/2022
My Pet Capuchins
Born 1970, M, from Georgia, United StatesOh, what to write? What to write? So many projects I’m working on.
“Forget about them, they’re no good,” I hear someone whisper.
True, but they’re just drafts. A little spit and polish after I’m done and there are those who will appreciate them.
“No, they’ll never be any good.”
“Ok, who is trying to distract me?” I ask, looking around.
“I am. I’m Imposter Syndrome. I’m why you can’t succeed. You have no originality.”
“Oh, really? First off, ‘success’ is a relative term. Every time someone reads my writing, I am a success.”
“Second, I used to have twenty-six personalities. Granted, one was homicidal and killed two of the others so now I only have twenty-three. And don’t try to argue with me on that, I’ve taken roll and done the math.”
“Third, my mind is like a twelve speed blender where all the buttons are labeled ‘frape.’ Also, the ‘off’ button doesn’t work.”
“Finally, I revel in chaos. Not that random, light-weight stuff. I’m talking the raw, ultra concentrated, high test stuff. The sort of thing that would unravel the fabric of the universe and sew it into a pillow at the same time.”
“But…” he tries to protest. Not nearly as cock sure as he was a moment ago.
I point to the corner. “You see that ninety-pound quivering mass there? That is what is left of Doubt when he tried to stop me. And now I’d like to call your attention to the two, fifty-stone capuchins sitting on the couch. They are Confidence and Patience, the ones who broke Doubt. Would you like to say hello?”
“Wait, Imposter! Since you are leaving, would you be so kind and give Doubt a lift home?”
Damn. Now I have to mop the floor.
My Pet Capuchins(Patrick S. Smith)
Oh, what to write? What to write? So many projects I’m working on.
“Forget about them, they’re no good,” I hear someone whisper.
True, but they’re just drafts. A little spit and polish after I’m done and there are those who will appreciate them.
“No, they’ll never be any good.”
“Ok, who is trying to distract me?” I ask, looking around.
“I am. I’m Imposter Syndrome. I’m why you can’t succeed. You have no originality.”
“Oh, really? First off, ‘success’ is a relative term. Every time someone reads my writing, I am a success.”
“Second, I used to have twenty-six personalities. Granted, one was homicidal and killed two of the others so now I only have twenty-three. And don’t try to argue with me on that, I’ve taken roll and done the math.”
“Third, my mind is like a twelve speed blender where all the buttons are labeled ‘frape.’ Also, the ‘off’ button doesn’t work.”
“Finally, I revel in chaos. Not that random, light-weight stuff. I’m talking the raw, ultra concentrated, high test stuff. The sort of thing that would unravel the fabric of the universe and sew it into a pillow at the same time.”
“But…” he tries to protest. Not nearly as cock sure as he was a moment ago.
I point to the corner. “You see that ninety-pound quivering mass there? That is what is left of Doubt when he tried to stop me. And now I’d like to call your attention to the two, fifty-stone capuchins sitting on the couch. They are Confidence and Patience, the ones who broke Doubt. Would you like to say hello?”
“Wait, Imposter! Since you are leaving, would you be so kind and give Doubt a lift home?”
Damn. Now I have to mop the floor.
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Valerie Allen
11/12/2022You are right on with this! Writing can be a long and lonely path but the personal (and financial) rewards are satisfying. Sometimes difficult to stay on track. Thanks for this story ~
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Kevin Hughes
11/11/2022Patrick,
This was marvelous. Anyone with ADD, ADHD, Autism, and the aforementiond "Imposter syndrome" will relate. I am Autistic so forgive me for asking, but did you mean Capuchin Monkeys...or the Monks? I never thought Capuchin Monkeys were much bigger than ten to twenty pounds. Fifty Stone...well an old style Capuchin Monk would would only weigh in at ten stone or a bit more. Us Autistic folks take things litterally...so maybe that was hyperbole to give the story more ...weight?
Anyways, loved it.
Smiles, Kevin
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Patrick S. Smith
11/11/2022TY for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I meant the monkeys. Originally, they were meant to be gorillas wearing pin strip suits drinking cappuccinos, mafia "made men" types, but I changed them to capuchins to up the humor and creativity factors.
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Shelly Garrod
11/09/2022A fantastic piece Patrick! I absolutely love it! I can relate to your fictional character. I'm working on sixteen drafts. Some as little as two paragraphs, others as much as two pages. My mind jumps all over the place. Some days it settles down enough to do a little writing. LOL
Blessings Shelly
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Patrick S. Smith
11/09/2022TY for reading.
But that is really me at times. I have published one book and written a number of other shorts stories and poems, but sometimes I question if I can keep doing it - That is why I keep the capuchins around.
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