Snakes on the Road(Darrell Case) “Well, that was interesting.” Jeff durr said as he drove away from Crige’s General store. “It only took 5 visits, 23 samples and 2 years and I’ll bet he won’t be happy with the order,”
He stayed later than he intended. Jeff looked at his watch: 8:30. 200 miles to home. He decided. No motel room for him tonight. Tonight, he would sleep in his own bed, wake up with his wife, eat a hearty breakfast and spend the day in the workshop. He spoke to Susie several times a day, but it wasn’t the same as being in the same room with her. 15 years of marriage and he loved her more today than he did on the day of their wedding.
He thought again of quitting his job and just doing woodworking.
“Honey, the table you made for the dining room is beautiful. And every visitor we have raves about the other furniture. I’m sure you could make a living selling just to our friends.” Susie said. Last Christmas she gave him a lath. In the spring he built an extension onto the garage. Now his workshop was complete.
But could he venture out on his own without a backup plan? Maybe after he retired, but that seemed so far away. Would his boss keep him on if he went part time?
The road stretched out before him. He hadn’t met another car in the last half hour. The family would be asleep when he arrived. He smiled, thinking of his wife and the little gold ring he bought in Amarillo. Would he give it to her tonight or wait until the children left for school? Jeff loved giving Susie gifts, He had since he met her in high school.
He remembered the day he met her. Jeff was standing just inside the door waiting for his brother John. The other students streamed by him, some greeting him, some not. He saw her coming, her head down. He knew how she felt. New school didn’t know anyone halfway through the year.
As she came through the door, he stepped forward. “Hi.” He said. “Frist day?”
She lifted her head and smiled. It was as if the sun broke through the clouds. He drew in his breath. She was beautiful. His face reddened. He didn’t speak to girls. He wasn’t a jock. Mostly, he kept to himself.
“Hi, yeah. Hey know where math is?”
“Yea… yeah. I… I can take you there. That is, if you don’t mind. I don’t smell or anything.” The pink on his cheeks deepened. Why did he have to say something so stupid?
She laughed. It sounded like the wind chimes on his parent’s back porch. “I wouldn’t want to make you late for class.”
“I… I’m headed that way. “He stammered. “It’s my first class, too.”
At lunch, they ate together. Well, at least she did. He became lost in the pools of her eyes.

Two weeks later he boasted enough courage to ask her out. He had rehearsed the words for days. He expected her to say no. To say she had to wash her hair or some other lame excuse.
“Our church is having a youth night on Saturday if you would like to come.” He had blown it. “With me, that is?”
“I’d love to.” She said, smiling. “What time?”
“You would? Ah.” He pulled the card from the pocket of his jeans. “Seven, I’ll pick you up at 6:45. That is if it’s alright with you”?
“Great.”
He flew all the way home; his feet never touched the ground. Saturday morning, he washed his parent’s car. He saw them watching from the kitchen window. Their arms around each other, smiling.
They dated through high school and college. The day he graduated; he asked her to marry him. With delight she shouted “yes”. She threw her arms around his neck.
Standing at the altar he watched her come down the aisle on the arm of her father. A vision of loveliness she took his breath away. Frank Taylor, his best man, leaned over and whispered in his ear. “She’s beautiful. If you don’t marry her, I will.”
“No way man. She’s all mine.” And so she was that day and every day for over fifteen years.

AT 10 He punched in the number of her cell phone.
She answered on the third ring. “Hi handsome.”
“Hi sweetheart, how are things?”
“The coast is clear. My husband won’t be home till tomorrow.”
“Tonight.”
“Oh honey, are you sure you should? It’s been a long day for you.”
“Yes dear, but I want to wake up next to you. “
“We miss you too. Just promise me you’ll be careful.”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you too.”

Growing tired, he pulled over. Idling the engine, he set back and rubbed his eyes. Maybe the fresh air would wake him up. For the last few miles, he did more dozing than driving. One time he woke up on the wrong side of the road headed for the ditch. Stuffing the flashlight in his jacket pocket he walked up the road about a hundred yards. He looked for headlights in both directions and saw none.
“Guess everybody’s in bed.” He said out loud. He glanced at the luminous dial on his watch. Midnight. actually three after. “Halfway there buddy boy.”
Feeling more awake, he started for the car. Blinded by the headlights, he didn’t see them until he was twenty feet away. His hand trembling, he switched on the flashlight.
Rattlesnakes in the road, the front rear and sides of the car. There seemed to be a hundred of them crawling over each other. Under the engine block, two raised up. They touched the hot oil pan and skittered away. That quickened the others, striking at the two burnt snakes as they raced past.
Jeff backed up, looking behind him lest he step on one late for the party. He kept a pistol in the glove compartment for rattlesnakes, but he was sure he couldn’t kill them all.
For the next 15 minutes, he rounded the car. 12:30. They didn’t seem to go anywhere. No traffic. He hadn’t seen another vehicle in hours. An automobile engine used a gallon of gas an hour when it was running. He filled up at Crige’s General store. But at this rate, the car would run out of gas by daylight. Jeff set down to think. There must be some way to draw the snakes from the car.
Another one raised up, hit the tailpipe and shot off into the sand at the side of the highway.
As the rattler charged through, the others struck at it.
“Good luck on that buddy. Hope you burnt your noggin off.” Jeff called after the departing snake. “If I could get to my pistol I…”
He had a sudden thought. How had he made his last sale? How had he made any sale? By finding something around to start a conversation. Look for something the customer is proud of and ask about it. Forget about the sale for the minute. Then, after a few minutes, glide the conversation around to your product. Make the customer want what you’re selling.
Ok, what did the snakes want? For that matter, what did they need? They were there for the heat being generated by Jeff’s car. They had found the one place in this deserted area to congregate. The second principle of salesmanship was make the customer uncomfortable. This is the product that will change your life.
Looking around, Jeff saw rocks, all kinds of rocks. Big ones, little ones, middle-sized ones. He picked up a little one, an inch wide. When he was in high school, he was the star pitcher for the baseball team. Now the only pitching he did was with his son. He aimed at a rattler inspecting his headlight. Instead of its broad head, he hit its neck. That is, if a snake had a neck. Confused, the snake struck the one next to it.
Jeff picked up a bigger rock. He drew back his arm. “There’s the windup and the pitch. “He said out loud. He hit one full on the head by the rear door. “Strike one.”
As fast as he could pick up rocks, he aimed and let go. It seemed as if every snake was fighting its neighbor. Working around to the driver side, Jeff kept throwing big rocks, little ones anything he could get his hands on. After about 10 minutes, he had a path clear to the side of the car. He clobbered the fighting ball of snakes until he felt it was safe. Starting at the trunk he cautiously slid up the left side. With an eye on the fighting rattlers, he didn’t notice the one under the car. In the quiet night air, he heard the deadly rattle. Unthinkably, he jumped back. The rattlesnake struck missing his thigh by an eighth of an inch. Stretched out, the snake was defenseless. As hard as he could, Jeff kicked the diamondback. There was a sharp crack. It landed five feet away, withering in the middle of the highway.
“Serves you right for trying to bite me.” Jeff said. He jumped in the car and jammed it into gear. Stomping on the accelerator, the car shot forward. A half mile away a thought stuck him. What about others? What if someone came along unexpecting and stopped or even slowed down? Turning around, he went back the way he came. As he came up on them, he saw some of the rattlers had moved back on the asphalt. 5 feet away, he stopped. The snake’s eyes shined in the headlights. They watched him. Opening the glove compartment, he was surprised. He had forgotten several months ago he bought more ammo for his pistol. He shoved the magazine in to the pistol. Lowering the window, he aimed at a rattler with its nose on the asphalt. The snake’s head disappeared in a puff of red smoke. For the next few minutes, he fired at the snakes, hitting some missing others. The cabin of the car filled with gun smoke. He tried to drive over the ones he missed, but they ran away.
Down to his last few shells, he ran up the window and backed the car up. He waited a few minutes until the last ones crawled into his path. Gleefully, he put the car in drive. As his wheels passed over the last of them, he heard a satisfying crunch. Hot to the touch, he lay the pistol on the passenger seat. He had stilled the threat to other motorist.

For the next two hours, he thought about his life. What if he hadn’t heard the rattle? What if he hadn’t jumped back? What if he had died out here on the deserted road? What would he leave his family? The company insurance? Two hundred thousand. How long would that last? How long before his wife would have to go back to work?
Fifty miles from home, he made a decision. He had almost died back there. Tomorrow he would speak to the boss. He would ask him to put him on part time. Tomorrow he would begin to live his dream.

5 years later
Jeff looked up and smiled. Susie lay another three orders on his desk.
“That’s ten this morning.” She said. The new diamond ring on her right hand caught the light. “And you’ve got the new guy waiting for his interview.”
“Thank you sweetheart. Give me a second, then send him in please.”
“Will do boss.” She shut the door to close out the noise from the factory floor. Glancing at the new orders, Jeff laughed. One was 10 new rockers from Crige’s General store. He lay them on the credenza beside the framed photo of a striking rattlesnake.

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