Sapne - Dream big(Avni Agarwal) Sapne
Dream Big
What a rushed morning I was having. With a toast in my mouth, I picked up my six year old daughter in one hand, grabbed my bag and car keys in the other and rushed out of the door. I had to drop off my daughter at her school before rushing to the office. I had a big presentation with my New York clients today and if I got it right, I might even get a promotion. I dropped my daughter at school and headed to work.
As I sat in my car nervous and irritated at the same time, cursing the Mumbai traffic, my mind wandered to the early days, when life was not so rushed . I thought back of the times when I lived a slow-paced life with not much to do. My name is Sapna which means dreams in Hindi but ironically when I was younger, I was never actually allowed to dream.
I was born and brought up in Lucknow. I grew up in a large family with four siblings. I had two brothers and we were three sisters. My father was a businessman and was a wholesaler who supplied grains to small shops in Lucknow. Only a kilometer away from our house, there was a local school where all the children of the area studied. I would go everyday with my siblings to school. I had a lot of friends at school and I loved to learn and study. But when my sisters and I reached the 8th standard, my father decided that as long as we had learnt to read and write, that was enough education for the girls. He did not allow us to go to school any further. Of course my mother had no say in the matter. Like all other women, all her life she too had just lived in the shadow of my father with no real opinion of her own. I wanted to pursue finance and learn about the startings of a business, but my parents had other plans for my sisters and me. “Running a business is a man’s job”, my father would often say. Our parents forced us to learn all the different household chores because according to them, girls needed to learn how to run a house, not a business. “If you study too much, it would be difficult to get you married”, they would say.
Their plans for us included getting us married into good wealthy families instead of pursuing our dreams. So, my sisters and I learned all the different household chores while our brothers continued their studies to be successful in life. We learned the different household chores from doing the dishes, laundry , cooking and making perfect round “rotis”. But my mind was never there, I never just wanted this with my life, I wanted to study to live in Delhi, to explore the world, not just spend my entire life in this small little town.
At the age of 18, my brothers started learning how to drive. “ You should know how to drive, it will help you move around the city”, my father would tell them. I asked my father if he could teach me how to drive as well. His reaction has me alarmed to this day. Instead of being supportive or teaching me to drive, all he said was “Girls don’t drive, your future husband will take you wherever you want to go. You don’t need to learn how to drive. Go help your mother with the household chores” he said laughing alongside my brothers. I couldn’t believe how many things us girls were not allowed to do that boys could without any hesitation.
I had only just turned 18, when my parents decided to get me married so I could start a family. All my crying and protesting made no difference at all. “We have three daughters to marry, the sooner you get married, we can start looking for grooms for the others” my father said. My parents got me married to a boy from Lucknow itself. His name was Raj and he worked at the local packaging factory. The preparations for the wedding did not include much. We simply called a pandit at home, there were a few sweets and fruits. It was a small celebration in the house with not a lot of people. It was more like a formality than a wedding. Only in a few days I had to pack everything and move to start living with my husband while my brothers went to Delhi to start college.
Even at my husband’s house, my opinion never mattered. I was never consulted for big discussions. I was like a puppet who danced to fulfill her husband’s orders. The next two years were very monotonous for me, all I did was cook, clean and repeat. Everyday was like the day before. Then, my in-laws started talking about me having a baby. At the young age of 20 I was already a mother. All my time would go looking after the baby from then on. I never got any free time, every ounce of my energy was spent with the baby whom we named Gudiya. Two years passed in a flash.
Then, one evening, Raj came home from work, he was exhausted but I could see a big smile on his face. As he sat down to tell me about his day, he told me the best news ever. Raj’s factory was expanding and setting up a new factory in Mumbai, and he was asked to go to Mumbai to overlook the operations there. This meant we would be shifting from Lucknow to Mumbai - the city of dreams (sapne) . I could feel my face pulling into a grin.
The next day, Raj had a day away from the factory, so we started packing our clothes to move. Raj’s parents liked it here so, Raj, Gudiya and I would move to Mumbai for this new job. I thought I would take this as an opportunity to do something with my life, maybe fulfill my own dreams and get a job in Mumbai.
When we reached Mumbai, for the first few months, the situation of our house remained the same. I was not given a say in any of the family matters. I was still not treated properly. By this time Gudiya had turned 3 and was ready for school. I knew that I would give her everything that I did not have in my childhood. I would not let the same things happen for her. She would finish her education in a good school and decide what she wanted in her life, and my daughter would fulfill her dreams. The world was changing. Women were required to give more meaning to their lives. I was going to let my daughter have a voice of her own. I found a good school and got her admission. When I would take Gudiya to the park to play, I would see other women, dressed confidently with laptops, while I sat there in my salwar kameez and a sorry face. What was I being apologetic about? Was it my fault? I wanted a life like these women had. I decided I had had enough, I needed to take charge of my life. Sitting at home, I did an English speaking course to improve my communication. Only after a few weeks my English became better and I was able to communicate properly. Having done this course, I pleaded with Raj to let me join a call center to work instead. Seeing how I had nothing to do, he agreed that it would be good to have some additional income, Mumbai being an expensive city. The good thing about shifting to a bigger city was that at least Raj’s mindset had started to change and he agreed to me working. Raj bought a new car and I realized that now was the time to fulfill my other dream- my dream of driving, just like my brothers. I also did driving courses to learn how to drive and finally got my drivers license as well. I could finally prove my father wrong, and show him that even women could drive.
I would drive Gudiya to school in the mornings and then go to the call station. I got much better at my communication skills. I was a fast learner. Now that I had got the opportunities, I was going to do everything in my capacity to make it big, I was going to work hard. Then, I decided to apply for another job. Being good with communication, I started working in a marketing firm. Working for a few years helped me understand the perspective of the audience and I was one of the best at my job. One thing led to another. Now I could see respect in the eyes of my co-workers. My opinion mattered. I was taking big decisions for my company. Even Raj realized my potential. My life had changed. I was confident and ready, and my journey only empowered me and made me stronger. Never in my life had I felt so good.
As I sit here today in this raging traffic around me. I wait eagerly to start this new phase in my life. I wonder why women are expected to sacrifice so much for the well being of the family. I proved my father wrong. I proved the society wrong. Every drop makes an ocean, every girl can dream and change society just as I did. Here I am today being true to my name “Sapna”, I dreamt it and now I have achieved it.

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