The Parker Family --- The Robbery(Martin Green) 2023ParkerRobbery

The Parker Family --- The Robbery (Approx. 700 wds.)


“Tom, wake up.” It was Tom Parker’s wife Trish, who was a light sleeper.

“Huh, what is it?”

“I heard some noises downstairs. I think somebody’s there.”

“It’s probably your imagination,” said Parker. There’d been a series of burglaries in the neighborhood recently and everyone was on edge.

There was a loud thud from downstairs. “Wait, you’re right. I heard that, too.” Parker got up and took a gun out of the drawer in the bedside table. After the robberies he’d purchased the gun, at great cost and after a lengthy ordeal of filling out papers to prove he wasn’t a homicidal maniac.

Parker opened the bedroom door and stood at the head of the staircase, holding the gun. His wife Trish was beside him. Their teenage son Bradley peered out of his bedroom and whispered, “Are we being robbed?”

Parker held his finger to his lips and said, “You two stay here. I’m going to find out.” He went down the stairs as quietly as he could. Yes, the living room light was on and he saw two men. One was middle-aged like himself. The other was a younger man, probably in his twenties.

“All right,” said Parker. “Hold it where you are. I’ve got a gun.”

“Geez,” said the older man. “What did I tell you when you knocked over that chair, you’d wake them up.” He turned to Parker. “That’s my son Bob. You’ll have to excuse him; he’s new at this game. I’m just breaking him in. My name’s Max, by the way.”

“Well, Max, I’m going to call the police and you and Bob are going to jail.”

Max laughed. “Are you kidding?,” he said. “You think the cops, what’s left of them, are coming out for just a house robbery. You mustn’t have read that most of them have been replaced by social workers. And even if they arrested us we’d be out right after we were booked, no bail required. Breaking and entering is just a misdemeanor.”

Parker considered. “Hmmm. You might be right.”

“Sure. That police defunding thing has been great for us career criminals. And by the way, there’s nothing worth stealing here anyway. That TV is at least twenty years old and that computer, it’s a regular dinasaur.”

“Well, I’m a State worker. We haven’t had a raise in five years.”

“That’s too bad. Say, how did you afford to get a gun?”

“It wasn’t easy. Cost an arm and a leg.”

“Too bad. I know how hard it is for you civilians to get a gun legally. I coulda gotten you one easy, good deal, too.”

“Never mind all that. What am I going to do with you two. And I can understand you being a career criminal but what about your son?”

“Yeah, Bob. Well, he couldn’t get into college because he’s a privileged white male and besides the tuition has gotten so high you have to be a millionaire to afford it. Then he couldn’t get a job because you know how bad the unemployment is. All the money is going to the homeless and people like them. That’s probably why you haven’t gotten a raise in five years.”

“I guess so. But the question remains, what am I going to do with you two?”

Max shrugged. “I dunno. We haven’t stolen anything and there’s no point in having us arrested, we’d be back on the streets in no time. So why not just call it even and let us go on our way.”

“Yeah,” said Bradley, who, with Trish, had come down the stairs. “Who knows, I might not be able to get into college or get a job and I’ll have to turn to a life of crime.”

“I’ll tell the guys I know to leave this house alone,” said Max.

“I don’t know” Parker turned to his wife Trish. “What do you think?” he asked.

“Make them promise they’ll leave this neighborhood alone,” she said.

“I promise,” Max quickly said. “Okay, we’re outta here. Sorry to have disturbed you folks.”

Max and Bob departed and the Parker family went back to their bedrooms.

It still doesn’t seem right, thought Parker. But as Max had said at least they’d broken even. Maybe that was all they could expect these days.

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