Fallen To Far

It was a warm summers day I was watching my 4 year old daughter, Autumn playing with her teddy bear. Her brown hair and blue eyes reminded me so much of her mother who had past a few years prior her 1st birthday. I'm staying strong for Autumn. I got up to go in the house to get a drink knowing I'll be back out of the house in 2 minutes or less I came back out and Autumn was gone. I looked everywhere in the yard in the neighbors yards.

"Autumn, darling this isn't funny cone here" I said

No answer by now I started to panic I had called 9-1-1 and siad that my daughter was missing.

"Sir, I need you to calm down and give me a descriptive of your daughter" the 9-1-1 operater told me

I took a deep breath "She has blue eyes brown hair has a teddy bear she weighs about 100 pounds and stands 4'4 she has a dress on" I said

"Ok sir, I'm sending a search party to look for her" she responded

"Thank you..." I said and hung up

I walked over to the couch and sat down "I can't lose Autumn she's my whole world" I thought to myself.

Months went by and I heard a knock on the door. I went over ad opened it seeing my daughter's teddy bear.

"Sir, we found the teddy bear near a tree do you know who could have taken your daughter?" The cop asked

"N-no not that I can think of" I stuttered out taking the bear in my hands

"We will be on the look out for her" the cop said

"I just want her home" I said hugging the bear

The cop nodded and went back to looking for Autumn. I went back to my chair and sat down. I couldn't sleep at night I barley ate I was so worried I was only thinking the worst.

A month later I heard a knock at my door again I walked over and opend the door and saw the cops expressions.

"I'm sorry sir....we couldn't save her..." the cop siad trying hard not to tear up

I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart tears started to sweel in my eyes.

"N-no that can't be she's still alive." I said refusing to belive my baby girl was gone

They showed me a picture of my daughter I dropped to the ground crying holding her teddy bear close to my chest the cops knelt down and rubbed my back

"Is there anything we could do?" The cop asked

"Could you do a funeral for her and check on me every so often?" I ask between sobs

"Of course we can well pay for the funeral for you" the cop siad

I just nodded and held the bear close. A week went by and I stood over my daughters grave tears falling blending into the rain that pourd down I put her favorite things by her grave I sat between my daughter and her mother's grave everything felt like a blur I was hoping to walk my daughter down the aisle one day and hold my grand baby but my baby girl was taken from me slipped right through my fingers and I wasn't there to stop who ever took her I spent an hour or more sitting there wishing I had done something to prevent my daughter from being taken. I can still hear her voice "Daddy im alright im with mommy" the cops helped me up and took me home they helped me on the couch and even stayed to make sure I would be alright.

Every day I go to my daughter's grave talking to her and sing but it hurts even worse. Had I fallen to far to be the best father I could be?