The Blue Gray Shorts(Martha Hume) Friday, I embarrassed myself beyond words, some gently used clothes were donated to whomever, at the Senior Center, wanted and needed them. I knew the clothing was there. Two friends had texted my phone telling me the clothes had been donated.

I responded to their text with a simple thank you. I wasn't going to the Center the day the donation was made.And after I received their text there wasn't time for me to switch gears and do an about face. In short there wasn't time for !me to go to the Senior Center.

When I returned to the Senior Center the following day I looked and did not see any donated clothes. Instantly my nose was figuratively bent out of joint. If the clothes were handed down from Janice and Korie who sent me the text. I appreciated the thought but, there was no way I'd ever fit anything either of them had once worn. I was several sizes too large. I brooded over my decision, would I ask Christina about the donation? Or would I continue brooding and imagining that Christina, the director, had squirreled the garments away for herself? I could continue looking at the other seniors with suspicion that their greed had taken everything. No, I'd not mention the clothes or my suspicion.

After lunch the table in the rear of the center had clothes on it.As I suspected the other seniors had rummaged through.the donated items. This was fine because I would take my turn rummaging through the clothes. I claimed every garment that was 3x or 4x.

These clothes had not belonged to either Janice or Korie. The 3x and 4x sizes were extremely large for me. The blue gray walking shorts I wore Friday had to be held up Ellie May Clampet style, with a piece of string. Even with the string tied as tight as I possibly could tie it the shorts kept sliding down and showing my Depends to everyone.

After lunch I rode my mobility scooter to Safeway, this town's only grocery store. And to the Family Dollar Store. Only when I was back home did I realize my shorts had no crotch. They were ripped from the start to the end. I was mortified thinking about how long my private business had been exposed.

The Blue Gray Shorts met their reward in the trash.

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