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  • Story Listed as: Fiction For Kids
  • Theme: Horror
  • Subject: Creatures & Monsters
  • Published: 09/02/2023

Danger whole

By Ahmedjan
Born 2013, M, from Sindh,Karachi, Pakistan


Danger whole
Once a man returned to a factory where every one was getting disapeared. He came there to investigate,he went to a seacurity room there was a lever there and a camra fallen on ground it seemed like it had been left since 1900. He pushed a lever and a door opened which leaded to a hallway he pushed his feet and walked. When he was half way on hallway the back door shut . HE scremed and ran back and to the door he cried and said let me go.he went unconsious there,When his eyes opened he was in a pirate ship he was locked in a prison . When he arrived a t the location there was whole army of pirates they were all diging up mountains for a particular stone called dackstone . He obeyed but afterwhile he decided to escape the island.
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COMMENTS (1)

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JD

09/02/2023

Ahmedjan, I think it is great that you are writing short stories at such a young age. Hopefully in time and with practice you will get much better at it. So keep working on it. Right now, your writing lacks attention to detail, like proper spelling and punctuation. When you put your writing on a website where others can read it and rate it you should make sure it is your best work and that you hav...
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Ahmedjan, I think it is great that you are writing short stories at such a young age. Hopefully in time and with practice you will get much better at it. So keep working on it. Right now, your writing lacks attention to detail, like proper spelling and punctuation. When you put your writing on a website where others can read it and rate it you should make sure it is your best work and that you have corrected all your writing errors the best you can before you allow it to be judged. Perhaps your next story will be better....

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