The Relapse(Regan) The Relapse - Written by Regan Upton
A short story

I remember it all like it was yesterday. The memories we shared, the times we laughed together, cried together. The times we loved each other. It was more as if I loved who I thought you were. I loved the mask you had on, the mask that fooled me. Fooled me into thinking you were right for me. I never noticed all the signs until you snapped. To this day I still tremble at the moment I just hear your name. Seeing your face has me in tears. I’m begging, crying, wishing for the pain to end. For you to finally get out of my head. There are times when I think, “How could I have been so stupid?” There are moments where I just want to message you, call you and tell you “I wish we never even met.” But that is far from the truth. You may have had me fooled in the past but I am not the same person I was when you had me around your little finger. I know I am not as pathetic as you think. I know I am not as weak as you think I am. Of course I would be upset over you when you are the one who hurt me, crushed me, stabbed me in the back. I told you my secrets, I told you my feelings, and all you ever did was lie and tell me it will be okay before you use it to your advantage. I thought I could trust you. Yet you come back to me with worthless apologies and I fall for them and think you’re actually sorry. I know you aren’t. You just wanted a person to play with. Someone to do your biddings, to cause pain as if they aren’t a human being. I have a heart, but tell me, where is yours? All I want to know is, why. Why? Why do you feel a need to cause pain? Are you feeling pain yourself? Did someone wrong you? What did I ever do to deserve this? I do know of this one certain thing though. I now know what it feels like to have been betrayed. I now have the experience so I can try harder to not let it happen again. You can come back, saying sorry, telling me you miss me. But I won’t let you come back to me again. I won’t let you get in my head. There is one thing I will let you have. I will let you have the truth. Because, to be honest, I forgive you. I thank you. I am ready to let go of you, and be who I am without you ruining everything. I hope you are well, as I am doing just fine without you. You used to be my friend but as we all know…

All good things must come to an end…

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