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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Mystery
- Subject: Mystery
- Published: 09/29/2023
THOSE WHO CAME FROM THE PAST
Adult, F, from Mianwali, PakistanHenry visited a valley. The weather was enthralling. It was the peak of winter. Though the weather was cold, the air was refreshing. There was a light snowfall. Henry was driving his car when an old couple wearing fancy dresses asked for a ride. Henry picked them up and continued to drive. Henry smiled that the oldies came to enjoy the weather, wearing fancy dresses. Henry was enjoying the breathtaking weather when he noticed that the old couple had mysteriously disappeared.
Henry's breath became shallow, and his palms sweated. He drove his car furiously when a policeman and a policewoman stopped him. They asked him the reason for ignoring the speed limit.
Henry told them the whole incident. They told him that in the past, on this day, many couples visited the valley to enjoy the mesmerising beauty of nature, but they all died due to a blizzard. Every year, on this day, they visit this valley in the same condition as when they died. They advised Henry to return. Henry drove his car when he remembered he had dropped his cell phone. He returned to get it back when he found that the police couple had also disappeared.
THOSE WHO CAME FROM THE PAST(Aleena Nawaz)
Henry visited a valley. The weather was enthralling. It was the peak of winter. Though the weather was cold, the air was refreshing. There was a light snowfall. Henry was driving his car when an old couple wearing fancy dresses asked for a ride. Henry picked them up and continued to drive. Henry smiled that the oldies came to enjoy the weather, wearing fancy dresses. Henry was enjoying the breathtaking weather when he noticed that the old couple had mysteriously disappeared.
Henry's breath became shallow, and his palms sweated. He drove his car furiously when a policeman and a policewoman stopped him. They asked him the reason for ignoring the speed limit.
Henry told them the whole incident. They told him that in the past, on this day, many couples visited the valley to enjoy the mesmerising beauty of nature, but they all died due to a blizzard. Every year, on this day, they visit this valley in the same condition as when they died. They advised Henry to return. Henry drove his car when he remembered he had dropped his cell phone. He returned to get it back when he found that the police couple had also disappeared.
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Lillian Kazmierczak
10/23/2023What a great spooky tale! I love stories about reoccuring ghosts. I find it comforting that they come back to a place they enjoyed but was there last stop. Youmtold yourmstory very well. Congratulations on short story star of the day!
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Aleena Nawaz
10/24/2023Thank you so much for your kind words! I am thrilled to know that you enjoyed my spooky story. It's fascinating how these spirits find solace in returning to a place they once cherished, even if it was their final resting place. I am glad that you found comfort in this concept. Thank you for taking the time to read and appreciate the story.
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Kevin Hughes
10/23/2023Aleena,
There is a movie called: "The Sixth Sense" where a young boy sees dead people...only they do not know they are dead. As I read your story, I wonder if going back to where he dropped his cell phone, wasn't where he died.
You earned StoryStar of the Day...and considering that you are writing in either your second or third language...that is even more impressive. Congratulations.
Smiles, Kevin
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Aleena Nawaz
10/23/2023Thank you for your comment on my story. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. It is appreciated that you compared my story to the movie; however, I would like to clarify that my story has no connection to that particular film.
Although both involve a character who has a unique perception, the similarity ends there.
Regarding your speculation about the location where my protagonist dropped his cell phone, I can confirm it wasn't the place where he died. The incident with the cell phone is simply a plot device to drive the story forward and create tension.
Once again, thank you for your encouragement.
Best regards,
Aleena
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Mike
10/23/2023Well, it was a scary. The incident was very uncanny. Another good story Aleena. Keep going.
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Freddie Thomas
10/23/2023Awesome. Brilliantly nailed it, Aleena. Happy short story star of the day. A well-deserved recognition!
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Shirley Smothers
10/23/2023Creppy good story. Perfect for Halloween. Enjoyed reading this impressive story. Congratulations on SHORT STORY STAR OF THE DAY!
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Charles Walter
10/23/2023Wow! That's so good. Well-written work. Congratulations on being selected as the short story star of the day. A well-deserved recognition.
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Mahnoor Mani
10/23/2023It's incredible. What an impressive story! I loved it. The suspense and mystery combo was awesome.
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