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- Story Listed as: True Life For Adults
- Theme: Survival / Success
- Subject: Personal Growth / Achievement
- Published: 10/24/2023
My Journey of Shyness and truimph
Adult, M, from Nushki, Pakistan.jpeg)
I've often wondered how my name, Zain, somehow morphed into the nickname "Chaino." I've pondered this extensively but couldn't pinpoint who coined this nickname. After much contemplation, I made a connection in our local language, where we refer to a seat fitted at the back of a bicycle as a "zan." This led me to think that if "zan" relates to bicycles, "chain" might be associated with them too. Consequently, my close ones began calling me "Chain," and it eventually evolved into "Chaino."
I admit I'm the kind of person who doesn't express himself much among others. I spend a significant amount of time in introspection, rarely socializing or interacting with people. I lack the confidence and ease to engage in conversations with others. This sense of insecurity has been with me since childhood. Sometimes, I even question whether it's God's doing, why I feel so weak and introverted in front of people. I've even considered whether my genes play a role, as I notice some similar traits in my mother's family, particularly in one of her brothers, who shares some of my qualities but is not as shy and is able to visit relatives, something I struggle with. My shyness, especially around women, hinders me from visiting them.
Among my twelve siblings, I undoubtedly rank as the most shy. I often envy their apparent lack of these weaknesses I carry. As for my daily life, I go to school, where I'm just an average student and still contend with my shyness. My parents have high expectations, hoping I'll secure the first position in my class. However, achieving this requires additional support. Given the large class size and short teacher-student interaction time, it's challenging to stand out. I inquired with the student who consistently ranks first, and he revealed that his two aunts have been helping him from day one. They review his classwork and provide tutoring support.
Asking for help was never easy for me; I was the type of person who rarely sought assistance, considering it somewhat egoistic. I believed that if I didn't ask for help, it was my sole responsibility to learn and educate myself. This mindset ignited a race within me to claim the top position in my class. However, I realized that my weaknesses in grammar, spelling, and pronunciation were obstacles on my path to success. I understood that achieving the first position would take a couple of years of hard work.
I embarked on this journey when I was in the fourth grade, gradually improving in a few subjects. I even managed to achieve perfect scores in some of them, but it wasn't enough to secure the first position. By the fifth grade, my performance in certain subjects still needed improvement. The journey continued into the sixth grade, with the classroom feeling like a competitive arena, akin to a boxing ring, as we prepared for our academic battle.
With just a few days left before the exams, I was formulating strategies to win the "match" and claim the top spot. One night, while walking alone to a distant shop to buy milk for my family, I found myself under the clear, starry sky. In that moment of solitude and silence, a surge of confidence washed over me, and I resolved not to let anyone take the first position from me.
The day of the exams arrived, and I gave it my all. As I awaited the results, the principal began announcing the top performers in each grade. The tension grew as each name was called. Finally, the moment arrived when he declared the first position in the sixth grade, which happened to be our class. To my astonishment, he called my name, Zain. The feeling was indescribable, and I was in a state of shock and happiness for hours. I was so stunned that I even sat in someone else's seat upon returning to our class. The assignment of achieving the first position was fulfilled, but I knew that life's challenges would continue, and I had to be prepared for new accomplishments.
My Journey of Shyness and truimph(Zain ul abideen)
I've often wondered how my name, Zain, somehow morphed into the nickname "Chaino." I've pondered this extensively but couldn't pinpoint who coined this nickname. After much contemplation, I made a connection in our local language, where we refer to a seat fitted at the back of a bicycle as a "zan." This led me to think that if "zan" relates to bicycles, "chain" might be associated with them too. Consequently, my close ones began calling me "Chain," and it eventually evolved into "Chaino."
I admit I'm the kind of person who doesn't express himself much among others. I spend a significant amount of time in introspection, rarely socializing or interacting with people. I lack the confidence and ease to engage in conversations with others. This sense of insecurity has been with me since childhood. Sometimes, I even question whether it's God's doing, why I feel so weak and introverted in front of people. I've even considered whether my genes play a role, as I notice some similar traits in my mother's family, particularly in one of her brothers, who shares some of my qualities but is not as shy and is able to visit relatives, something I struggle with. My shyness, especially around women, hinders me from visiting them.
Among my twelve siblings, I undoubtedly rank as the most shy. I often envy their apparent lack of these weaknesses I carry. As for my daily life, I go to school, where I'm just an average student and still contend with my shyness. My parents have high expectations, hoping I'll secure the first position in my class. However, achieving this requires additional support. Given the large class size and short teacher-student interaction time, it's challenging to stand out. I inquired with the student who consistently ranks first, and he revealed that his two aunts have been helping him from day one. They review his classwork and provide tutoring support.
Asking for help was never easy for me; I was the type of person who rarely sought assistance, considering it somewhat egoistic. I believed that if I didn't ask for help, it was my sole responsibility to learn and educate myself. This mindset ignited a race within me to claim the top position in my class. However, I realized that my weaknesses in grammar, spelling, and pronunciation were obstacles on my path to success. I understood that achieving the first position would take a couple of years of hard work.
I embarked on this journey when I was in the fourth grade, gradually improving in a few subjects. I even managed to achieve perfect scores in some of them, but it wasn't enough to secure the first position. By the fifth grade, my performance in certain subjects still needed improvement. The journey continued into the sixth grade, with the classroom feeling like a competitive arena, akin to a boxing ring, as we prepared for our academic battle.
With just a few days left before the exams, I was formulating strategies to win the "match" and claim the top spot. One night, while walking alone to a distant shop to buy milk for my family, I found myself under the clear, starry sky. In that moment of solitude and silence, a surge of confidence washed over me, and I resolved not to let anyone take the first position from me.
The day of the exams arrived, and I gave it my all. As I awaited the results, the principal began announcing the top performers in each grade. The tension grew as each name was called. Finally, the moment arrived when he declared the first position in the sixth grade, which happened to be our class. To my astonishment, he called my name, Zain. The feeling was indescribable, and I was in a state of shock and happiness for hours. I was so stunned that I even sat in someone else's seat upon returning to our class. The assignment of achieving the first position was fulfilled, but I knew that life's challenges would continue, and I had to be prepared for new accomplishments.
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Tony Matthews
10/27/2023Thank you for your heartwarming story. As an intensely introverted person myself, and also a recluse, I can understand perfectly your struggle. I even wrote a book about mine! It helps to express one's feelings and I have found that the responses to my book have all been very supportive and positive. Well done. I have given you five stars for your wonderfully honest and interesting story.
With best wishes,
Tony.
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