I Was The Monster(Phoenix Rafferty) Walking into school that morning, I immediately could feel that something was off. The normal buzz of people moving from class to class in the halls was instead filled with an eerie sort of silence. With the exception of a whisper from here and there. Everyone around me was still. Everything was still. I pushed my way through the crowd, and as my eyes scanned, my heart stopped. Medical professionals crowded around what seemed to be a body. It was a body. A girl from my second period lay there- breathless, and almost lifeless. I did not know her name, but still, my blood ran cold from the familiarity. A lump in my throat formed as a quick glance revealed to me the many scratches that lined her arms, legs, and neck. I wanted to cry, but my eyes were completely dry. I didn’t know how or what to feel anymore. We were motioned away from the scene, and not another word about it was spoken, and not another word left my mouth that day.

I lay awake in bed that night, trapped in restless thoughts. It was hard to get a scene like earlier to not replay because it did. Like an old cassette tape jammed into its slot. The more it replayed, the more it seemed sensible and familiar. A brief Deja Vu. As the slow hours seemed to pass, my conscience faded into a shadowy black and silence. I awoke with a jolt at a later hour, covered in a cold sweat. My muscles ached. My head pounded. My vision was blurred. The world around me hovered in all directions. I reached for the floor, and crawled into the hallway, falling into the bathroom. I used the strength I had to prop myself up against the marble sink.

Splashing my face with water, helped reground myself a bit. I always found it helpful when trying to re-associate myself from reality. I would know for I had nightmares often growing up, but never quite this bad..or this real. The dim nightlight lit my face, as I stared into the reflection of myself in the mirror. My heart beat out of my chest as I hyperanalyzed my features that didn’t quite seem the same. While my head seemed to snap into a different state of mind, as it traveled back and forth throughout time. The girl. The cries. The school. The body. The entire scene is in detail. My entire night was stolen away in worry.

The following day, I snuck out early that morning. Around sunrise time. It was a cool Saturday morning in early October. The streets were bare, as I walked the silent corners to the hospital. The only sound was the crunching of leaves beneath my feet. Like the streets, the waiting room was empty, so it didn’t take long to be admitted to visit. I had finally been reminded of that girl’s name in my class, and it had clicked like a puzzle piece. A puzzle piece my mind seemed to be searching for. I wasn’t sure what had me connected, but I was here to find out. As the nurse opened the door, I crept in unsure of myself. I locked eyes with the girl and the color left her face. Her lips opened as to scream, but her throat was covered in a cast from all the scratches. Her eyes never left me though, and I felt her stare into my soul, like burning simmering coal.

I looked at her side table and noticed a dilapidated drawing of a person. It looked entirely like me, but not at the same time. It wasn’t a quite human creature. It was another one of those rare moments when I searched to reassociate myself from reality. But again, what was inside of my mind seemed to have bled into my present. As I began to lose control of myself and fought for my conscience, I searched for something to focus on and ground myself.

An old photograph of the town hung on the wall. I admired all of its details. The cathedral. A large maple tree. Cobblestone sidewalks. As I noticed them, I noticed myself and locked eyes. I froze. It was at that moment, that it all made sense. My puzzle piece. I was the monster. The shadowy darkness returned, overtook my eyes, and I was no longer in control. A pair of arms injected me with a metal syringe and my body went limp as my world faded away into nothingness.

I was the monster.

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