Congratulations !
You have been awarded points.
Thank you for !
- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Fairy Tales & Fantasy
- Subject: Fantasy / Dreams / Wishes
- Published: 12/09/2023
The secret within
Born 2005, F, from Buckley, United States*WARNING* I would like to inform you that this story features a transgender male character. If this is not your preference, you may want to consider reading another story. I have noticed some negative comments on my previous story when I was in 11th grade. I would like to clarify that including pregnancy in my stories is a part of who I am as a writer. If this content is not to your liking, I suggest finding a different story to read. Please understand that I am not trying to be rude, I am simply stating the facts. Thank you for your understanding.
---------------
The secret within
The piercing sound of a car horn shattered the peaceful silence of the night, causing me to jolt awake in terror. I was on the brink of falling out of bed. My heart was pounding in my chest as I struggled to get my bearings. As I sat up slowly, I could feel the cold sweat on my brow, my senses on high alert. The room was dark and still, illuminated only by the pale moonlight filtering in through the window. I hesitated momentarily, taking deep breaths to steady my nerves, before cautiously getting out of bed and tiptoeing towards the window. I peered outside, my eyes scanning the empty street for any signs of danger, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. The horn had already faded into the night, leaving nothing but an eerie silence. As I stood there, my mind racing with fear and confusion, I reached for my rosary and whispered a prayer, seeking comfort and protection from the unknown. The night was long and restless as I struggled to find slumber. My mind was consumed with an overwhelming sense of fear, making every creak and rustle seem like a looming threat. My heart raced with every sound, and I was constantly on edge, convinced that something sinister was lurking in the dark corners of my room. The fear was so intense that I couldn't shake it off, and I felt trapped in a nightmare that I couldn't escape from.
The words of reassurance I thought of brought a momentary sense of relief, but my heart continued to beat rapidly as the adrenaline pumped through my veins. Since the blare of a car horn that had startled me, I struggled to shake the feeling of unease that had settled within me. My mind raced with possibilities of what could have caused the honking, making it difficult to calm myself down and find peace of mind. As I lay in bed, lost in my thoughts, I was suddenly jolted out of my reverie by a loud knock on my bedroom door. My heart skipped a beat as I wondered who could be at my door at this hour. A voice called out from the other side, "Father Ismael Celli, did you hear the car horn as well?" It was a familiar voice, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I recognized it as that of my former servant who had helped me during church services. "Yes, dear child," I replied, my voice still shaky from the sudden scare. "I heard it too. I nearly fell out of bed." As I sat up in my bed. I felt a strange sensation in my chest and before I knew it, tears started streaming down my face. I was completely confused and couldn't understand why I was crying. The feeling was overwhelming and I couldn't control it. Caleb, a kind and compassionate person, could hear me crying. He immediately walked in and sat next to me, placing a gentle hand on my back to comfort me. With a concerned look on his face, he asked, "Father Ismael, what's wrong? Is there anything I can do to help?" His soothing presence and caring words made me feel heard and supported in that moment of vulnerability. I found myself at a loss for words. My mind was racing, trying to make sense of the situation, but I couldn't come up with a clear answer. In the end, all I could manage was a soft, uncertain reply “I'm not sure what's going on, Caleb, I don't even know why I'm crying”. Caleb hugged me rubbing my back I leaned against him “Thank you, dear child...I feel better already” I said wiping the tears from my face.
As the first rays of sunlight peeked through my window, I slowly opened my eyes and stretched my arms. After a few moments, I got out of bed and made my way to the kitchen, still feeling a bit groggy. As I entered the room, I was pleasantly surprised to find Caleb already there, bustling around the stove and preparing breakfast. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and sizzling bacon filled the air, making my stomach growl in anticipation. Caleb turned around and greeted me with a warm smile, gesturing toward the table where he had set up a delicious spread of pancakes, eggs, and fruit. I couldn't help but feel grateful for his thoughtfulness and care, and I sat down to enjoy the meal he had prepared for me. I made myself a cup of coffee. After that, I said grace and sat down to eat my breakfast. A few minutes went by, and suddenly, I started feeling nauseous. I tried to ignore it, but the feeling became more intense, and I knew I had to act fast. I quickly ran to the bathroom and threw up. It was not a pleasant experience, but I felt a little better afterward. I leaned against the wall holding my abdomen. I brushed it off as a stomach bug. I tried to get up but nausea grabbed a hold of me so I sat back down waiting till the nauseous let go. Once the nausea somewhat let go of me I was able to stand up with only a little wave of nausea. It was enough to make my stomach heave. I wasn't sure if I would be able to preach church but I promised myself I would try my hardest to do so. Once church rolled around I was in the rectory getting ready while Caleb and another servant were helping set up. Once I had my alb on and my cincture I had put on my amice and was getting ready to put on my stole when nausea caught up with me again. I took a deep breath rubbing a spot on my wrist and the nausea went away. I was getting ready to put on my cassock when I ran out of the rectory and to the bathroom and my stomach heaved.
As I stood there, contemplating whether I should go ahead with my plan to preach or head back home, I couldn't help but second-guess myself. My mind was clouded with doubt, and my stomach churned with anxiety. Despite feeling this way, I knew I had to make a decision soon. After weighing the pros and cons, I finally made up my mind and decided to proceed with my plan to preach. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, and I was prepared for the worst. Nonetheless, I took a deep breath, gathered all my courage, and headed out of the bathroom. I walked into the rectory to put my cassock on and walked out. “Sorry, I'm late. I'm not feeling well at the moment, so if I stand still for a period of time don't worry I'm just experiencing nausea- aaughh…” I held my stomach as nausea kicked in mid-sentence. I closed my eyes and slowly took a deep breath. Once the readings were done it was time for the sermon. I got up and stood in front of the congregation “My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, today we gather in the presence of the Lord to seek His guidance and grace. In the midst of our daily struggles and challenges, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and lost. But let us take solace in the words of Psalm 46:1, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."
In times of uncertainty, it is natural to question our path and purpose. We may find ourselves searching for meaning and direction, longing for a sense of peace and fulfillment. Yet, we are reminded by the Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." With unwavering faith and trust in the Lord, we can overcome any obstacle and find comfort in His unwavering love. As we navigate the complexities of life, let us not forget the power of prayer. Through prayer, we open our hearts to God's wisdom and guidance, allowing His divine presence to illuminate our path. In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, we are urged to "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Let us embrace the transformative power of prayer, knowing that our petitions are heard and answered by a loving and merciful God. Furthermore, let us not overlook the importance of extending compassion and kindness to one another. In Galatians 6:2, we are instructed to "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Through acts of compassion and empathy, we embody the love of Christ and create a community of support and understanding. May we carry these teachings in our hearts as we navigate the challenges of life, knowing that God's love and guidance will sustain us. Let us draw strength from our faith and find solace in the knowledge that we are never alone. Let's let God into our hearts.” I turned around and bowed my head towards the cross and made my way to my seat.
***
As I settled into my cozy armchair in the living room, I turned on my favorite TV show and began to sort through a pile of paperwork. As I sifted through the pages, my eyes were drawn to an intriguing report that had caught my attention. Its contents piqued my curiosity, and I found myself engrossed in the details, eager to learn more. “The community of Oxend has recently been confronted with an unexpected and controversial occurrence that has generated much discussion and speculation. Reports have surfaced that a priest in the locality is believed to be pregnant, resulting in a stir of controversy among the townspeople. The Catholic Church, known for its stringent regulations with respect to celibacy for priests, has yet to make an official statement on the matter. This development has raised important questions regarding traditional beliefs and practices within the Church, and has prompted much reflection on the potential implications for the local parish and its congregation. The news has led to a heated debate among the residents of Oxend, with some questioning the priest's commitment to their faith, while others express sympathy and support for the individual. The situation is further complicated by the fact that the identity of the pregnant priest has not been disclosed, leading to further speculation and conjecture. The community of Oxend is eagerly awaiting an official response from the Church to provide clarity on this unexpected development. The scandal has caused a divide within the community, with many pondering how this will impact the Church's stance on celibacy, and if more priests will follow suit. The town is currently tense and confused, as residents try to come to terms with the news and its implications. This revelation has sparked a broader discussion on traditional religious practices and the adaptability of the Church to changing norms and cultural shifts. It has also brought to light the complexities of the intersectionality of religion, gender, and reproductive health. The extent of the ramifications of this occurrence is yet to be seen, however, it has undoubtedly prompted a re-evaluation of the Church's approach to celibacy and the changing nature of the priesthood.” Upon hearing the news, I was quite surprised as Oxend is known to have a large number of priests, a total of 180 to be precise. It seemed unlikely that only one out of the 180 priests could be experiencing a delicate condition. In order to identify the priest who might be carrying a child, they would need to conduct interviews with all the priests in Oxend. my question is how they'd come to suspect a priest of becoming gravid. Just then Celeb came in with a shocked look. “They would need to interview each priest..and you are overthinking this situation..” I nodded in agreement with Caleb, acknowledging that I was overthinking the situation at hand. I realized that I needed to calm down and take a step back from my racing mind. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes for a moment, and tried to clear my mind. After a few moments of deep breathing, I felt my body relax and my thoughts become clearer. I then resumed sifting through my paperwork, taking my time to go through each document carefully and thoroughly. As I felt the overwhelming sensation of tiredness creeping up on me, I decided it was time to call it a night and retire to bed. I made sure to take my time winding down, perhaps by reading a book or taking a warm bath, before finally settling into bed and letting my body fully relax. It was a much-needed break from the hustle and bustle of the day, and I knew I would wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on whatever challenges lay ahead.
***
After a few months had passed, I started to notice a significant increase in my weight. This was quite concerning for me, as I had always been mindful of my health and fitness. While pondering over this sudden weight gain, my mind inadvertently wandered to the news that I had come across about a priest being pregnant. I felt my whole body stiffen up and my mind went blank. Could it really be me who was anticipating this? My heart was pounding so loud that I felt like it was about to jump out of my chest. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and yet I couldn't deny the possibility either. All I could do was stand there, frozen, trying to make sense of it all. I made sure to get a pregnancy test as I wanted to confirm if I was pregnant or not. It was important for me to have a reliable and accurate result, so I took the necessary steps to obtain the test and followed the instructions carefully. After completing the test, I couldn't help but feel incredibly anxious as I waited for the results. Time seemed to move at a snail's pace as I eagerly anticipated finding out if it was positive or negative. The waiting period was filled with anticipation and nervousness, and I couldn't shake the feeling that my entire future was hinging on the outcome of this one test. As I glanced at my watch, hoping for some relief from the tedious waiting, I realized to my dismay that only a minute had passed. Feeling restless, I buried my face in my hands, yearning for time to fly by quickly. After a few minutes of waiting, I picked up the pregnancy test with trembling hands. As I stared at the little window, my heart raced with anticipation and fear. And then, as if in slow motion, I watched as two faint pink lines appeared. A sense of panic washed over me as I felt the color drain from my face. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I had so many questions and concerns running through my mind that I didn't know what to do next. The weight of this that I was carrying felt heavy on my chest. I knew that if the congregation found out, it could have disastrous consequences. And as for Caleb, the news would be devastating for him. It was a burden I had to bear alone, and the fear of it being exposed was constantly at the back of my mind. But I couldn't risk the potential fallout, so I resolved to keep it to myself, no matter how difficult it was. St. Andrew's church is like my second home. However, now that I am carrying a child and I am afraid that if I reveal this to the congregation, they might not accept me as their priest anymore. I used all my willpower to forcefully banish those disturbing and pessimistic thoughts from my consciousness, as I was fully aware of their ability to comprehend my innermost doubts and uncertainties. Despite the immense challenge, I remained steadfast in my resolve to remain present and not allow my mind to be overwhelmed by the negative thoughts.
***
As I sat in church, I felt my heart race with excitement and nerves. I had a big announcement to make, one that would change my life and the lives of those around me forever. As I looked around at the congregation, I could feel their eyes on me, waiting for me to speak. After a deep breath, I stood up and addressed the group. "My brothers and sisters," I began, feeling a lump form in my throat. "I have something to share with you, and I ask that you take me seriously." The room fell silent as I took a moment to compose myself, feeling the weight of the moment on my shoulders. And then, with a sense of pride and anticipation, I spoke up with all my courage “I'm with child and I ask that you accept me still as your priest”. They stared at me for a while before the room erupted in a flurry of congratulations and well-wishes, and I felt a warmth spread through me that I will never forget. It was a moment of pure joy and connection with my community, and I knew that I had made the right decision to share this moment with them. As I finished preaching, a wave of relief washed over me. The congregation seemed to have enjoyed the sermon, which made me happy. I continued with the rest of the service, and when it was over, I greeted everyone with a smile. As I shook their hands, they offered me kind wishes and expressed their appreciation for the message. It was a fulfilling experience that left me feeling grateful and content.
***
As time passed, several months went by and unfortunately, the news eventually found out about my pregnancy. This caused me to feel embarrassed, which is understandable given the circumstances. I’m carrying a significant amount of extra weight and had grown to the size of a beach ball perhaps bigger than that, which made the situation even more embarrassing but I learned that it was going to be ok because I had my congregation there to pick me up. During one of my preaching sessions, I suddenly felt a sensation that my water had broken. However, I kept my calm demeanor and addressed my congregation, saying, "It would appear that I'm going to have a birthday on my hands today." Upon hearing this, one of the attendees kindly offered to drive me to the nearest hospital. I gratefully accepted the offer and made my way to the hospital to welcome my new bundle of joy. It was an intense and exhausting experience, one that seemed to last forever. But finally, after what felt like an eternity of labor, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. When I saw his tiny face for the first time, I knew that Emmanuel was the perfect name for him. It just seemed to fit him so well, like it was meant to be. Seeing him in my arms, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy and gratitude, and I knew that my life would never be the same again. As Caleb walked into the room, his face lit up with a big smile. He was practically beaming with joy and excitement. "Father Ismael Celli," he exclaimed, "He's absolutely beautiful and adorable! I couldn't be happier for you." Caleb's eyes were shining with happiness as he eagerly asked, "What did you name him?" During the conversation, I couldn't help but chuckle a little at something Caleb said. "His name is Emmanual, it suited him," I repeated, still amused. Caleb nodded in agreement, adding, "Indeed it does, Father Ismael Celli!" I approached Caleb and handed Emmanuel over to Caleb who took him in his arms. Caleb smiled as Emmanual started playing with his hand, exploring the world around him. It was a heartwarming moment to witness the bond between the two, as Caleb gently rocked Emmanual back and forth, making him giggle and coo in delight. As I watched the two of them interact, I couldn't help but feel a sense of joy and contentment wash over me. Their connection was palpable, and I knew at that moment that they would become the very best of friends. A smile spread across my face as I imagined all of the adventures they would have together, and I felt grateful to have been there to witness the start of their beautiful friendship.
.jpeg)
COMMENTS (1)