She-The Newbie(Talwinder kaur) Life isn't difficult in itself, but it definitely is because of the web of relationships, which are mostly dictated and are deprived of love and mutual respect. Every time a new person comes into the family system, particularly a female who joins in through marriage, she is bound to receive much toxicity in terms of attitude and behavior. No matter how responsible and caring she wants to be, other family members who are already part of the family may view her as an intruder and deal with her harshly. This is not something that happens in just one culture; it is almost found everywhere in different forms.

Right from the start, the young bride who has just entered a marriage undergoes a lot of expectations and criticisms. First of all, everybody tries to control her as if they have purchased a slave. All sorts of chores and errands are given to her, and everybody is telling her that they did this in their time. But if she in some way manages to hold everything together—cooking, cleaning, laundry, her job, her interest in studies—the nasty relatives still bully her by saying, "You say you were topper and you are highly qualified, but how come you still struggle to get a good job?" She gets shamed one way or the other at every opportunity. Sometimes it is not verbal, but it is expressed through expressions and vibes. She does her best to fit in with the rest of the family and contribute to their well-being, only to encounter resistance accompanied by exclusion. This can make her feel like an outsider, unaccepted by an established family unit that does not include her, according to older family members who still believe in their ways of life. Her logic toward certain things is often dismissed by the blind members of the family who do not want to comprehend. Well—it is their life; they have the right to perceive it the way they want, but how about the new one? That right isn't given to her.

Hence, this new member often feels isolated or unvalued because the family members appear to constantly monitor every move she makes. She feels throttled and choked. She is overheard, watched, all the time. She senses the overindulgence of the sisters-in-law in the decisions she wants to make for herself alone.
It is she—the newbie—who has a heavier burden in these dynamics than any other person. She always tries too hard to support her family, but gets held up to unrealistic standards that may sometimes deviate her from being blamed or mistreated by others. She could live with deep regret and sadness regarding choices made throughout her lifetime, even if it doesn't stop her from seeking happiness for her kids. The struggles of these women have never been adequately valued, let alone their sacrifices.

Ultimately, she is an important person in the family; probably most of the time, she holds everything together against all odds. Her commitment and love towards her family keep her holding on to them and caring for them through continued personal pain and sadness. She often envisions a family that is united and, furthermore, one in which everyone is respected and appreciated by others; however, this is far from reality most of the time.
Her contributions and sacrifices go unnoticed, but she keeps moving on, waiting for the next best day. She stands as a portrait of strength, resolute and ever-giving for the sake of her loved ones alone. In times when family structures were always fraught with troubles, her role stood as a symbol of undying love and commitment.

The relationships in a family are so interwoven that they create problems in life but also give it meaning. With consideration to the relationship dynamics, each member can understand and grow with the relationships if one acts in a way that is supportive, showing empathy toward one another. Not an easy task, this journey is worth fighting for in order to sustain peaceful, loving coexistence within the family.

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