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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Inspirational
- Subject: Aging / Maturity
- Published: 08/06/2024
Why?
Born 2006, F, from Lahore, PakistanOnce upon a time, in a bustling city, there was a young girl named Rita. She stood at the bus stop anxiously waiting for someone, her long-lost sister Sara whom she hadn't seen for years. The sun was setting, casting a warm glow over the surroundings as the bus screeched to a halt. Out stepped Sara, and Rita's face lit up with joy as she embraced her sister after what felt like an eternity.
The sisters walked home arm in arm, catching up on lost time. Sara changed into more comfortable clothes while Rita took charge of preparing a delicious meal for them both. Suddenly, Rita's phone buzzed with a message from an unknown number saying, "You've reached home." Ignoring the strange message, Rita and Sara engaged in heartfelt conversations over dinner, reminiscing about old memories and sharing their dreams for the future.
The next day, the sisters went shopping together, enjoying each other's company. However, Sara had to leave early for work, bidding farewell to Rita. As Rita made her way back home, she couldn't shake off the eerie feeling that someone was following her. Turning around, she caught a glimpse of a figure wearing a mask, lurking in the shadows.
Rita quickened her pace, reaching home in a state of panic. As she set her belongings down, a chilling note caught her eye - "I will kill you." Trembling with fear, Rita called the police, desperately seeking help. Suddenly, a voice behind her sent shivers down her spine as a gun was pointed at her back. Slowly turning around, Rita came face to face with her sister, Sara.
Confusion and fear gripped Rita as Sara accused her of a past tragedy that had haunted her for years. Flashbacks revealed a heartbreaking accident that had taken Sara's parents' lives, caused inadvertently by Rita when they were both children. The weight of guilt and sorrow crushed Rita as she realized the depth of her sister's pain and anger.
In a moment of desperation and chaos, Sara's friend intervened, leading to a struggle that culminated in a fatal shot being fired. Rita's world shattered as she watched Sara crumble before her eyes, the repercussions of their shared past unfolding tragically.
Days passed in a blur of grief and remorse for Rita, burdened by the consequences of her actions. Standing on the edge of a bridge, consumed by unbearable guilt and sorrow, Rita contemplated the meaning of her existence and the pain she had caused. Just as she closed her eyes, ready to let go, a hand reached out and held hers, offering a glimmer of hope and redemption in the face of darkness.
In that moment, Rita found solace in the possibility of forgiveness and a chance for a new beginning, realizing that her journey was not defined by her mistakes but by the choices she made moving forward. And as she gazed into the horizon, uncertain yet filled with a flicker of faith, she knew that she was not alone in her quest for healing and redemption.
Why?(Meena)
Once upon a time, in a bustling city, there was a young girl named Rita. She stood at the bus stop anxiously waiting for someone, her long-lost sister Sara whom she hadn't seen for years. The sun was setting, casting a warm glow over the surroundings as the bus screeched to a halt. Out stepped Sara, and Rita's face lit up with joy as she embraced her sister after what felt like an eternity.
The sisters walked home arm in arm, catching up on lost time. Sara changed into more comfortable clothes while Rita took charge of preparing a delicious meal for them both. Suddenly, Rita's phone buzzed with a message from an unknown number saying, "You've reached home." Ignoring the strange message, Rita and Sara engaged in heartfelt conversations over dinner, reminiscing about old memories and sharing their dreams for the future.
The next day, the sisters went shopping together, enjoying each other's company. However, Sara had to leave early for work, bidding farewell to Rita. As Rita made her way back home, she couldn't shake off the eerie feeling that someone was following her. Turning around, she caught a glimpse of a figure wearing a mask, lurking in the shadows.
Rita quickened her pace, reaching home in a state of panic. As she set her belongings down, a chilling note caught her eye - "I will kill you." Trembling with fear, Rita called the police, desperately seeking help. Suddenly, a voice behind her sent shivers down her spine as a gun was pointed at her back. Slowly turning around, Rita came face to face with her sister, Sara.
Confusion and fear gripped Rita as Sara accused her of a past tragedy that had haunted her for years. Flashbacks revealed a heartbreaking accident that had taken Sara's parents' lives, caused inadvertently by Rita when they were both children. The weight of guilt and sorrow crushed Rita as she realized the depth of her sister's pain and anger.
In a moment of desperation and chaos, Sara's friend intervened, leading to a struggle that culminated in a fatal shot being fired. Rita's world shattered as she watched Sara crumble before her eyes, the repercussions of their shared past unfolding tragically.
Days passed in a blur of grief and remorse for Rita, burdened by the consequences of her actions. Standing on the edge of a bridge, consumed by unbearable guilt and sorrow, Rita contemplated the meaning of her existence and the pain she had caused. Just as she closed her eyes, ready to let go, a hand reached out and held hers, offering a glimmer of hope and redemption in the face of darkness.
In that moment, Rita found solace in the possibility of forgiveness and a chance for a new beginning, realizing that her journey was not defined by her mistakes but by the choices she made moving forward. And as she gazed into the horizon, uncertain yet filled with a flicker of faith, she knew that she was not alone in her quest for healing and redemption.
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Valerie Allen
09/21/2024Interesting story about the danger of holding a grudge. Although painful, it is better to deal with emotions and events when they happen (Anger causes more damage to the vessel in which it is stored, than on the vessel onto which it is stored.)
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Barry
09/20/2024Meena,
I like your literary style of writing. It reminds me of the minimalist, story-telling style of the early 19th century writers such as Turgenev of Chekhov, who always focussed on interesting plots and compelling characters. Your story would have been even better if you had added more detail surrounding the sisters' personal conflict/relationship. What drove them apart? What were their personalities like? Also you could have accomplished this with some simple dialogue coupled with descriptive prose. But it's still a good story in its own write and shows that you are developing a literary 'voice', which every writer must possess in order to accomplish their artistic goals and creative vision.
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Shirley Smothers
09/20/2024A beautiful and sad story. We all make mistakes. I hope Rita can forgive herself. Congratulations on Short Story Star of the Day.
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
Cheryl Ryan
09/20/2024Nice! I like how the story ended beautifully for Rita despite the guilt of her past mistakes.
Thank you for sharing!
COMMENTS (7)