There, Here(Anthony Colombo) I am 83. I’ve been married to the same woman for 63 years. During that time, we’ve been across the country several times. We’ve been on vacation, camping trips and never alone. Our Kids have been with us every time. Technically, we are still not alone. Our number three son, the baby of the family, his wife and their son, live with us. This is where I draw the line.
I am 83 and I have always wanted a truck. Our local Costco had a promotion involving the purchase of a car, what the hell, why not? Got me a 2022 Chevrolet black Colorado V-6. I love it, but what to do now? “ROAD TRIP!” This would likely be our last adventure. At our age a trip to the bathroom was becoming an adventure.
There were some things I had to do. The most important was reservations for a camp site at Yosemite. The park had become popular, and you just couldn’t drop in anymore. You’re getting ahead of me. Yes, we are old and camping on the ground isn’t happening. Then there was alternate transportation. When we were young, 200 years ago, we could walk, ride a tour bus, but not now. And, lastly, I wanted to view the heavens, and what better place than a national park with no lights to speak of.
The reservations, easy, a phone call and all I had to do was wait three months for a spot. Then there was alternate transportation. I had seen a John Deere XUV for sale. I contacted the seller, and the mini truck was mine. Sounds easy but those things can’t be driven on the roads without major changes being made. I had a friend make modifications to the vehicle. Then I took it to the local CHP office where it was inspected and licensed. All that was left was a telescope. I found just what I was looking for. It was light weight about 75 pounds. It was computer operated, and it came with an astronomy book for dummies.
Then, I went to a trailer park where campers were rented. The people we talked to were very helpful. They fixed us up with a “toy hauler camper” that had it all. Twin beds, shower, kitchen and dinette.
It was late September, and the weather was changing. Our reservations were coming due and time to leave was now. I packed everything. The XUV was last, and it fit inside the “toy hauler.” We set out across California through Tracy. Picked up 120 and on to Yosemite. At the gate we were assigned to the Wawona campgrounds. I found my spot and unloaded the XUV while my wife made lunch. Wow roughing it, at our age, wow. After lunch we cursed the park to reminisce passed adventures killing time before sunset.
I loaded the telescope and laptop on the rear bed of the XUV. I then drove to the Overlook parking lot and picked a spot to park. I had trouble getting my wife to stay at the campsite alone, so she was with me. I had to pack coats and a blanket because it would get cold after the sun when down. Yes, there are wild critters to consider, and I think I settled that with a gallon of wild critter repellent which I splashed around us. I then set up my equipment pointing the telescope two degrees above the southeast horizon. Using a video feed I plugged into the laptop, I began to record the night sky.
The night passed quietly. I saw a large cat, a mother bare an one cub, and two coyotes. All sniffed the air and left. After that I felt safe enough to fall asleep.
Dawn comes early in the wild and at sunup I checked the scope and laptop. I had picked up an audience of one and he was amazed, me too. He watched quietly for almost an hour, so quietly that I forgot he was there. Then I heard, “wow did you see that?”
I answered, “yes going back to check it out.”
There as plain as day was a light that lasted for a few seconds. A check of my astronomy for dummies, and it showed nothing that would account for the light in the area. My computer did mark the coordinates and date stamp the settings.
My spectator asked, “what are you going to do about that?”
“A few things. First, I am going to get your name and address as a a confirming witness, and then I will be back here tonight to see if I get a repeat.” It turned out my witness was William Mosley. Who lived about a mile from me in Santa Clara. Then I took a yellow chalk marker and chalked where my tires were. “Will you be joining me,” asked.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” he said.
“Be here about 10 p.m.,” I said.
I arrived early and was all set. I was just starting when Bill showed up. At 10:50 p.m. there was the light. As soon as it went out, I hit my Lazer pointer twice, and started a stopwatch. 42 minutes and there was two quick blinks of light in return. “Yes, I saw that,” I said in answer to a question Bill couldn’t ask.
“You know what this means, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I got phone calls to make.”

In my book Astronomy for Dummies, I found the Author. He was alive and local. Doctor Ashcroft, Director of Astronomy at UCLA, it even had a phone number.
I called the number, and to my surprise it was answered on the first ring. “Doctor Ashcroft?’” … “you don’t know me, but6 I have news that you want to hear.” … “Doctor, I know its late, but this is the kind of news you would drop everything to hear.” …. “Yes Sir, I can prove we are not alone.” … “Yes Sir. I have two witnesses. One is my wife, and before you say anything, I know relatives aren’t reliable, but the second is a man I just met.” We talked for a while and just after midnight, I ended the call by telling him where I was and that I would be back at mt contact location tonight.
I was sound asleep when I heard the knock on my trailer door. I staggered out of bed and opened the door. “are you Mister Collon,” asked a ranger.
“Yes. I am. What’s up?”
“I don’t know what you did, but you got people from NASA, UCLA, and half of the rest of the alphabet in the Overlook Parking Lot waiting for you. Get dressed and I’ll drive you there.”
“Got a problem officer. My wife won’t stay here without me. How bout we get dressed and follow you there?”
20 minutes later we were on our way. A mile from the lot the officer turned on his red lights and moved to the shoulder of the road. We followed because traffic was that bad. When we got close, we could see why. The whole lot was blocked off. Four very large helicopters were parked there, and a big tent with no sides was set up.
As we walked to the tent, I saw Bill standing with the crowd. I told the ranger he was with us, and the ranger waved him in.
The tent had workstations set up with computers, monitors and staff manning them. Standing with two men near the entrance was Dr. Ashcroft. He looked just like the photo on his book. “Doctor, I am the one who called you,” and I stuck out my hand. He took it and shook it warmly.
“I brought some of my own equipment. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all, but I have a computer message I put together with a message I wanted to send tonight.” I then explained my addition of the morse code and a hello from planet earth. “I expect there will be a delay in the return due to the time needed to decipher and answer.”
“I can have my people set it up and transmit it for you.”
At 10:45 p.m. came and there was the light. When it went out, Dr. Ashcroft looked at me and I nodded. He gave the ok to his assistant and the laser was activated. 42 minutes later there was a single light, we assumed meaning they got the message. “Now we wait,” said the Doctor.
An hour and twenty minutes later there was another light that lasted for 15 minutes. The Doctors staff went to work, and one said, “We have an answer. It reads, ‘Hello Earth from Planet Zartag.’”
The doctor shouted, “Contact! We made contact with another life form!”
I won’t bore you with details but suffice to say we were escorted home and then flown to LAX where we were picked up on the tarmac by a luxury limo and driven to a luxury hotel. We were picked up each day and taken to UCLA’s astronomy department where I assisted in communication with Zartag. We calculated they were about 65 billion miles away from us, “A galaxy far, far away.”
For the next several months we talked. I could only imagine what the long-distance rates would be. My dad went crazy with my brother’s long distance calls home from Fort Leonard Wood when he was in bootcamp. The calls cover a lot of topics, some led to new patens, others new formulas and cures. We had a lot in common and were becoming friends.
One night, Dr. Ashcroft said, “It is too bad we are so far away. I would like to do a diplomatic exchange.”
“But doctor, we aren’t that far away,” said Xilli Dr. Ashcroft’s counterpart on Zartag. Xilli pronounces Zilla is, by our measure of time a young woman schooled in the physics of solar astronomy.
“What do you mean not far?”
“Just that doctor. We have mastered travel beyond the speed of light as you put it. We can travel to your planet in about a month of your time.”
As you can imagine there were many details to iron out. Governments, military, security, etc., etc. The process took a little more than a year, but then the ok came and Xilli volunteered to take the first step. She boarded a transport on Zartag. It was aligned with a laser beam and the beam affixed to the coordinates on Earth. The transport disappeared in a flash that would put “Star Trek” to shame.
The trip lasted 31 Days. On the morning of July 7th, a military radar station picked up an approaching meteorite. Its estimated speed was over 100 thousand mph’s. When the thing was 3 thousand miles away it slowed drastically and continue on toward Earth. Dr. Ashcroft’s radio came to life, “Doctor this is Xilli requesting clearance to land at our agreed upon corrodents.”
Since the trip had been cleared months before the doctor replied, “All is ready for you.”
“Doctor just a quick warning our outer skin will be white hot from reentry. We will need some time before you will be able to approach.”
This was nothing new for the doctor. Mercury Gemini Apollo and the shuttle all had heat shields. Two days later the ship was a bright shiny white and cool to the touch. While the doctor and other dignitaries waited there appeared an opening and a ramp slid down to the ground. Walking down was the most attractive women any of them had ever seen. She was waring a form fitting outfit that resembled a uniform from a 1930’s “Flash Gorden” movie.
Xilli and the 10 members that made up her party were shown every accommodation. They were housed in the finest rooms. Fed the best meals. Shown every sight: Paris, Rome, Moscow, Washington, London. They were taken to places like Yellowstone, Yosemite, the Taj Mahal. You name it everything was open to them. They came to know more about us than we knew about ourselves.
But all good things must come to an end. Xilli and her party were now at the point where they had to go home. She said that 5 of her group would stay behind to make room for 20 Earthlings to go to Zartag, “if they wanted.”
“Hell yes. Sign me up.” In 5 minutes, we had a list of over 100 interested people. Xilli was leaving 2 engineers, 1Bioligest and 2 medical doctors. Our list should include at least that as well as diplomats totaling 20.
“You should know that for most of you the trip will be stressful. There is no reason to worry though. We have a tranquilizer gas that will relax you,” said Xilli. “Don’t fear it just puts you into a light sleep. You will be wide awake and refreshed when we land.”
The amazing thing, when we landed there was no heat problem. The outer skin was cool to the touch. There was something else, when the hatch opened it was like Dorathy going from Kansas to Oz in “The Wizard of Oz.” It was beautiful.
We were led off the ship by Xilli. She introduces us to the head of their society. He treated us like long lost relatives. He assigned us to a council, and we were led to our living quarters. These were spacious and more than comfortable. They would be our base of operations while we were here.
During our stay we were shown all the sights. They included their equivalent of Paris, the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, and many more. It was overwhelming to say the least.
There was one thing that struck me as strange. There were only plants on the planet. I saw no animals and no insects. When I asked Xilli, she explained “to my shame.” In our early history they had all those things, but her early people hunted all the animals to their extinction. As for the insects, they became a terrible problem with the exposed carcasses laying around. She added getting rid of them was no great matter. She did tell me that the elimination of some winged things caused a pollination problem which they overcame by artificial means.
She also told me that the elimination of meat from their diet had a beneficial effect on their life span. They developed a vegetarian diet that increased their life span to 190 years. She then asked me if I would guess her age. Being polite I said, “about 27?”
She said, “no I am 77.”
Time flew by and it was now our turn to return home. Xilli met us at the ship and before we boarded she told us, “our council met last evening and decided that if any of your people would like to come back to visit or live they would be welcomed.”
At home we were met and photographed and interviewed. We reported all that we had seen and all that we had experienced. We left nothing out. When asked how I felt, I said, “I liked it there and I am going to take my family to live there.”
After the interview 2000 people signed up to go back. Again, the trip was uneventful. We landed and the hatch opened. I was the first one through the door. There was a large group at the foot of the ramp. But, before anything else happened a man ran forward yelling, “don’t get off go back. It’s a lie, remember “Soylent Green.”

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